Strange search-engine queries (74)

We must emphasize that each of these items is a real query, posted to a major search engine during the past week, which led the searcher to one of the ten thousand or so pages on this site; from the hundreds of queries, we've specially selected these for maximum smartass-remark potential.

nair for men on penis:  You don't want to be a smoothie that badly.

what benefit does the light train transit have:  It doesn't weigh as much, therefore it doesn't use as much fuel.

can i put mayonnaise in my hair:  The Condiment Police won't bust you, if that's what you mean.

into you she is:  So Yoda gives dating advice now?

mac sucks put gum in the floppy drive:  That would suck with just about any operating system.

bodice ripper fantasies:  Honestly, I don't know anyone who fantasizes about having her bodice ripped.

Mutt Lange buys Dr. Phil:  Must have been a present for Shania.

is it illegal to clean houses in the nude:  Not necessarily, but you can't assume the occupants of those houses will approve.

"lindsay beyerstein" "penis size":  I've never met Lindsay Beyerstein, but I'd be willing to bet she doesn't have a penis.

can a woman use a epilator in islam:  Not on her eyebrows, anyway.

joseph lieberman at nudist beach:  Gosh, he's more independent than I thought.

"tears on my pillow" and "maureen dowd":  Love is not a gadget / Love is not a toy.

condoleezza rice pedicure:  If you're gonna wear Ferragamo, you might as well do it right.

will the salon wax my rectum:  Not until they're done with Condi's pedicure.

Posted at 6:31 AM to You Asked For It