The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

9 July 2007

Strange search-engine queries (75)

For some reason, this feature has picked up an occasional fan, but I suppose I can keep doing it anyway. If you're new around here, this is what happens: I comb through the last week's worth of Site Meter listings, note the arrivals from search engines, and make fun of the goofier ones. It's a good way to kill a Sunday evening, and it gives me a fresh post on a Monday morning.

pictures of a kid getting a reactal themometer stuck up their butt:  Obviously this person isn't anal about spelling.

marie antoinette transvestite:  "Let them wear drag."

the bustiest senior citizen in america who is she:  The winner, who prefers to remain anonymous, is a 94-year-old widow living near the Teton Range in Wyoming. She still has her original bison-hide implants.

horrible looking cakes:  Maybe someone left them out in the rain.

Vickie's Valences:  Minus three, alongside nitrides and phosphates.

sex with bag over head:  So much for sucking face.

"big flaring nostrils" -dog -cat -bird:  Perhaps you should put a bag over its head.

What do a Cadillac Escalade and C3PO have in common?  You probably shouldn't park either of them near the Mos Eisley Cantina.

definition of doomaflatchie:  It's like those thingumabobs and those other gizmos.

mean bitches crushing mens balls:  Yeah, I'd say that's mean.

yogurt of the eighties:  Surely it's spoiled by now.

5 inch penis is satisfying:  "And who do you expect to satisfy with that?" she asked. "Me," he replied.

president united states america country marine corporation bank of america corporation buyers at 6% wait for buyers at 3% conceal buyer human flesh livers penis and hearts bank of satan chruch employees masonic members 59th lodge israel trade switzerland from murder incorporated liberia human flesh language of human consumption locate correct address bank of america within san francisco california human flesh buyer corruption bribery the popatoe industry as front money increase too buyer human body parts for satanic rite cheifton dinner buyers consumers bank of america canobolism employees location usa fbi gov directer 14155537400?  Somebody's working on a Conspiracy Theory of Everything. (The phone number, as it happens, reaches the FBI's San Francisco office.)

Posted at 6:58 AM to You Asked For It


Plus, all those future searches for "marie antoinette transvestite" will bring your site up as a result. Genius. Suuuuper-genius.

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 1:31 PM on 9 July 2007

I thought Google cut off after the first ten search terms, which would be after 'corporation' in the first line ('of' doesn't count).

Posted by: Dan B at 5:18 PM on 9 July 2007

SiteMeter recorded the entire string, so I decided to use it. (If you click on that godawful link, Google reports that it ignores everything after 32 words.)

Posted by: CGHill at 5:25 PM on 9 July 2007

Some disturbing people out there.

Posted by: Heather at 11:38 PM on 9 July 2007

There's a few in here, too, but I'm not pointing any fingers.

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 12:47 PM on 10 July 2007