The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

30 July 2007

Strange search-engine queries (78)

Yes, it's time once again for the roundup of the wackiest search strings plucked out of a week's worth of referrer logs. Keep in mind, we're making fun of the search, not of the searcher. (You think they bought that?)

diane rehm mark twain huckleberry finn  In fact, Diane was the original Becky Thatcher; her 21st-century voice problems can be traced to spending all that time in a damp cave with Tom Sawyer.

good and bad effects of maggots as a burger additive:  There are good effects?

drawbacks of being well-hung:  There are drawbacks?

Oklahoma City Jesus cries:  You'd cry too if you had to deal with the traffic at Penn and Memorial.

10 ways the amish party like it's 1899:  Hint: the barn door is open.

Republicans drive a Subaru:  It could happen. I once saw a Volvo with no bumper stickers.

witch spell reduce penis size:  Laughing and pointing is usually enough.

can you get chlamydia through thongs:  Okay, it's official, the Classic American Dry Hump is dead.

Where is the jacking point:  I'm partial to the bedroom myself.

a tulsa church that isn't scary:  This guy takes "scare the hell out of you" literally.

"where are the horniest women":  Attending church services in Tulsa.

unclothed not safe at work:  Depends on whether you have the air conditioning cranked up.

baby boomers hope they die before they get old:  Is that a statement or a wish?

search engines strange front ends ms dewey:  Ms Dewey's front end looks fine to me.

mayonnaise penis:  Um, that ain't mayonnaise.

Posted at 6:14 AM to You Asked For It


"where are the horniest women": Attending church services in Tulsa.

I think I speak for most of your readers when I say we demand further explanation. And times and driving directions.

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 11:02 AM on 30 July 2007

Ditto.

And why don't I get stuff like this? Have to diversify, methinks.

Posted by: SnoopyTheGoon at 6:29 AM on 31 July 2007