The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

10 August 2007

A procedure that takes balls

Britain's National Health Service has about a two-year waiting list for sexual-reassignment surgery, leading one person to take matters into his own hands:

He found a website which gave a step-by-step guide to the eye-watering home surgery, then waited till [his] wife ... went out before setting to work with a kitchen knife in the loo.

With the job done, he wrapped his severed appendages in a cloth and dropped them in the bin. Then he drove five miles to his local GP, explained what he'd done, and was packed off for treatment at the Stoke Mandeville Hospital, near Aylesbury.

And how did it feel?

"It was very painful, but the moment I cut them off I felt all woman. I'm the sort of guy who, when I make up my mind to do something, wants it done there and then. I didn't want to be a man any more so I decided to do it myself."

Of course, the real pain is yet to come: when they cut his salary by thirty percent.

(Via Interested-Participant.)

Posted at 8:39 AM to Dyssynergy

TrackBack: 6:49 PM, 10 August 2007
» I'm Willing to Get More Sun from The McGehee Zone
...once the heat wave breaks, but I draw the line at this. So, sorry, Ms. Goodman, but that maleness thing you're complaining about, you're just going to have to put up with it. ...[read more]

Or the real pain may come when his wife, wishing to dish out the appropriate punishment to him for being a self-centered twit, has to kick him every other place on his body since the natural targets have been removed.

Posted by: Brett at 8:47 AM on 10 August 2007

Nah. She'll just close his credit account at the hairdresser.

Posted by: McGehee at 9:04 AM on 10 August 2007

They walk among us. This is the most disturbing thing I have read all month, but then it's only the 10th. If Chaz can top it then I will watch television (shudder at the thought) until the 31st.

Posted by: Aero at 7:12 PM on 10 August 2007

Cut his salary by 30%? Nonsense. They'll raise her salary by 17%.

Posted by: Joseph Hertzlinger at 12:44 PM on 12 August 2007