The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

4 September 2007

I note that there is no spoon

There is, however, a Diet Fork:

  • Shorter and dulled teeth inhibiting user from grasping larger pieces of food at any one time
  • Smaller triangular shaped surface area allowing dieter to hold less food than many other forks
  • Uncomfortable grip compelling user to put fork down between bites, slowing the user's eating speed

I need hardly point out that if your particular weakness is, say, nachos, this contraption will do you no good whatsoever.

"Pandering and exploiting your paranoia," says DollyMix. I have to wonder if maybe John Edwards has something to do with this: it certainly passes the Wacky Test.

Posted at 8:00 AM to Dyssynergy


Particular weaknesses aside, If you're inclined to hard labor, these are barely inconveniences. Plate me up some more of them nachos, extra cheese and peppers, please!

Another thing, what does it say when some LAZY ASS can lose ten pounds just because their fork was a little uncomfortable. Whimps.

Posted by: Jeff Shaw at 11:11 AM on 4 September 2007

Perhaps the next step is an electrified fork, designed to deliver a small but painful shock every time the diner puts it in his or her mouth?

Posted by: fillyjonk at 1:41 PM on 4 September 2007

Great - don't give PonyBoy any more ideas - besides mandatory regular checkups, he'll be selecting my silverware! ;>)

Posted by: Jeffro at 8:40 PM on 4 September 2007