Strange search-engine queries (83)

Not that I've gained any new readers lately, but if this is your first visit, what you're seeing is a compilation of some of the actual strings entered into search engines that led people to this very site, selected largely on the basis of whether I could think up some smartass remark about them.

circuit city shoplifting policy:  They're against it.

sword is better than pen:  More viscerally satisfying, anyway.

"Dakota Fanning" Lolita:  Bad idea. Besides, who could play Quilty? Johnny Knoxville?

doo dooo dooo doo doo doo doo dooo woo:  That doo woo that you do so well.

it's wrong for just one company to make the game Monopoly:  Well, that's Life®.

i need someplace privately to vent for free:  May I suggest Blogspot? It costs nothing, and it will be years before anybody sees anything you've written.

what happened to my lotus smartsuite:  You probably upgraded to Windows XP and now it craps out every time you try to load a file.

can a foetus be invisible at 8 weeks:  Well, it probably won't show from the outside.

baristas that give blowjobs:  Doesn't sound like any Starbucks I've ever seen.

vintage deadly curvaceous women in undergarments:  Doesn't sound like any baristas I've ever seen.

make your jeep hemi faster with pantyhose:  Obviously this won't work in the Jeep Commando.

but no one will understand lyrics:  Maybe if you can get the singer to enunciate a little better.

whiy is it called a porsche nine eleven illuminati:  What were you expecting? A Fnord Fnocus?

Posted at 5:24 AM to You Asked For It