The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

17 September 2007

Strange search-engine queries (85)

Some people come to this site because they darn well want to, and we thank them for their patronage. But just as many wind up here because they keyed something into a search box somewhere, and we thank them for providing us with a seemingly-endless supply of grist for this particular weekly mill.

frolicking in women's clothes:  I see this all the time, usually performed by women.

uses of transmission coolers:  1. Cooling transmissions.

abstinence unattractive anyway:  If you think about it, this could be a three-word short story, though it screams out for a verb of some sort.

transmission jerks mazda 626 1994:  I know a guy with a Mazda 626 and the transmission jerks charged him pretty close to $1,994.

discreet redheads in denton texas:  I know nothing about redheads, so I wouldn't dare speculate as to their level of discretion.

weightwatchers points for salty iguana:  Probably the same as for ordinary iguana, unless you're on a low-sodium diet.

pig vagina yogurt:  Wouldn't you rather have some nice salty iguana?

what is an anal attentive asshole:  Believe me, if you'd ever dated one, you'd know.

stridex pants:  I assume these prevent acne of the ass and promote anal attentiveness.

mercedes excrescences:  Have you seen an R-Class lately?

walmart republican target democrat:  Where do the Greens shop? Steve & Barry's?

meredith vieira doesn't wear underwear:  Willard Scott would be rolling over in his grave if he were actually, you know, dead.

ana patricia candiani legs:  I bet Telemundo makes her wear underwear.

what happens when you meet a soulmate:  Nothing, because it's always somebody else's.

genitally modified french fries:  I'll thank you to keep that thing out of my lunch.

Posted at 6:57 AM to You Asked For It


Whereas the french who were not genetically modified saute or simmer pn court boullion but never fry.

Posted by: triticale at 8:01 AM on 17 September 2007

discreet redheads in denton texas: I know nothing about redheads, so I wouldn't dare speculate as to their level of discretion.

I know quite a deal about redheads from living with three of them. Two of them aren't very discrete about anything, but then again one is 5 year old and the other 15 months.

Posted by: Dan B at 9:15 AM on 17 September 2007

I can definitely identify! Of all my various, topical posts on my little bloggie, the #1, most read post is one I wrote mostly in protest and annoyance.
Readers come to it by entering the search words "Bathtub caulk advice". And now, by the large number of people who have clicked thereon, that post is second-highest listed under those words.
But, thank you for this post, for it assures me that I'm not alone in that sense; and it also gives me an idea for a similar one! One decrying the perils of bathtub caulking and duck vaginas (#3 for me).

Posted by: the localmalcontent at 12:08 PM on 17 September 2007