The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

24 September 2007

Strange search-engine queries (86)

Once a week, I take out my fine-toothed comb, which hasn't been useful on my actual hair for a couple of decades now, and I go through the referrer logs, looking for the sort of search string out of which I can wring a few cheap laffs. You'd be surprised, or appalled, at how well this works.

are m&m made from beetles:  Not the green ones.

pantyhose smoke meth crossdress dad:  What is this, the proposal for a new "reality" TV series?

skirt "without showing your underwear":  Do not think you can escape this requirement by not wearing underwear.

condoleezza rice - short skirts:  Well, not so short that you can see her underwear.

will a woman uncross her legs for you to take a peek and then recross them?  Most women: probably not. Condi: definitely not.

constipation atomic cocktail:  Some people have neither patience nor Dulcolax.

8 inch boyfriend:  Really? How big's his wang?

welding smoke can affect on penis:  I believe one should always wear pants while welding.

McDonalds lawsuit over chicken bones in mcnuggets:  Wouldn't this imply the presence of actual chicken?

oprah "cookies tossed":  While she can afford to outsource it, generally Oprah prefers to toss her own cookies.

"former social security recipient":  New euphemism for "deceased."

do check cashing places check for high school education:  For customers, or for staff?

dustbury system:  Find a piece of shtick and work it a minimum of eighty-six times.

Posted at 6:28 AM to You Asked For It

Billie Bird once stated that "One should never fry bacon in the nude."

Posted by: unimpressed at 2:19 PM on 24 September 2007

A wise woman indeed.

Posted by: CGHill at 3:05 PM on 24 September 2007