The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

25 September 2007

The best of both worlds

Ryan White of the Oregonian performs the synthesis:

The SuperSonics want an arbitrator to say it's OK to leave Seattle. Seattle is suing the Sonics to make them honor their lease. Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy went loopy Saturday night about a Saturday morning column in The Oklahoman. That's why Sonics owner (and Oklahoma City businessman) Clay Bennett needs to put Gundy on retainer as his spokesman.

It might sound something like this:

"I'm going to talk about this lawsuit, right here. If anybody hasn't read this, I don't read it; it was brought to me by a lawyer — a guy who knows stuff about laws. Let me tell you why I want to talk about this lawsuit. A whole bunch of it is inaccurate and had to be written by a lawyer who doesn't own a basketball team. It's fiction.

"When you have a basketball team someday, you'll understand how it feels. When you go to the country club to play golf and someone makes fun of you because your basketball team isn't making enough money?! Or someone says you're bad at business?! And you come home crying to your accountant?!

"THAT'S WHY I DON'T READ LAWSUITS! Because they're GARBAGE! And the lawyer who wrote it is GARBAGE! Attacking an owner for wanting to move his team. You people make me sick. I'm done."

The quality of discourse — and of Clay Bennett's PR — would take a giant leap upward.

Posted at 10:03 AM to Net Proceeds