The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

20 September 2007

Your wish is my command, bro

Ten people who need tasering more than Andrew Meyer did, in no particular order:

Readers will no doubt nominate candidates on their own.

Posted at 6:48 AM to Listing to One Side


Okay, the four guys? That's ri-god-damn-diculous. Here's the end quote from the story:

"Families have had it with inappropriate scenes and language that shock and confuse their children. This legislation gives them the tools they need to help maintain the home environment families want and deserve," said Matheson.

We want to make sure our children are protected ... without actually having to do anything. Maybe if you wouldn't use the TV as a babysitter and sit down and have conversations about these things with your kids, you wouldn't feel the need to legislate literally every word that comes out of the television.

Sorry, this makes me really angry.

Here are my nominees for people to be tasered:

1) Lohan, Britney, Paris. All at once.
2) Ike Turner
3) Lee Scott
4) Chris Crocker. (I'm a gay guy and I'm saying this.)

Posted by: Nate at 7:38 AM on 20 September 2007

Additions to the list:

Bruce Rhinehart
Wes Lane
Lance Cargill
Sen. Robert Byrd
OJ (again)
Mike Turpin
The dummy that designed the I-35 & I-240 interchange
People who call and ask about renting a house with a "FOR SALE" sign in the yard.
Andrew Meyer (if you get physically combative with the Police, you will get TASERed, fact of life in the 21st century)

Posted by: Dan B at 9:14 AM on 20 September 2007

Andrew Meyer kinda deserved it.

Posted by: Erica at 11:03 AM on 20 September 2007

the news-directors of the 24! Hour! News! networks who chose to run all-OJ, all-the-time this weekend (seriously, I thought I had timewarped back to 1994) would do well to be tasered right alongside the Juicemeister.

And I second the person who said, "Paris, Brittney, and Lindsay." I'd also throw in their parents for good measure; the parents are probably largely to blame in these sorts of situations, to apply a little Willy Wonka psychology to the situation.

Posted by: fillyjonk at 2:32 PM on 20 September 2007

The entire crew of The View?

Posted by: Jeffro at 9:47 PM on 20 September 2007

Mmm. Some inspired choices here. I especially found the inclusion of Ike Turner rather thoughtful. Watch out for OJ, though, he enjoys ANY kind of attention these days.

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 7:47 PM on 21 September 2007