The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

22 October 2007

Strange search-engine queries (90)

The climate changes, little by little; the weather changes, sometimes a lot; but one thing that never changes, apparently, is the fact that some people have a gift for coming up with odd search strings. (And another is my willingness to exploit that gift for my own nefarious purposes.)

toll road expense Omaha to Oklahoma City I-35:  Aside from the fact that I-35 doesn't go through Omaha at all, if you take I-29 to Kansas City and then I-35 the rest of the way, the Kansas Turnpike Authority will relieve you of $5.25 for the stretch south of Emporia.

Interstate 35 and Red China:  I-35 doesn't go through China at all. First go to Omaha, then follow the instructions above.

prime numbered streets:  Among others, 2nd, 3rd and 5th.

kim possible costume crossdress:  I like the idea, but have you seen that girl's waistline? You're going to have to be laced in with high-tension wire.

size of the biggest men's penis in Nigeria:  According to one letter I received, it's eleven and a half inches; however, its owner has died, and if I wire $10,000 to his heirs by next Saturday, I can have four and a quarter for myself.

Mo Rocca and Ann Coulter in a Hot Tub:  This search is useless without pictures.

do they plug the rectum of prison inmates before execution in the electric chair:  Ask the poor soul who gets to clean the chair.

aanr "shed":  As an AANR member, I think it's safe to say they're using it as a verb.

urinal cake not really cake:  It's not? Well, piss on it, then.

rush limbaugh's yearly income?  Probably enough to pay for his own damn health insurance.

are priuses really green:  Most of them seem to be either gray or silver metallic.

frequency of 10 inch penises:  1 Hz.

Posted at 5:58 AM to You Asked For It


rush limbaugh's yearly income? Probably enough to pay for his own damn health insurance.

Apparently some medical offices aren't set up to deal with weirdoes like that, though. I've heard him tell about trying to explain to the admin person at a doctor's office that he was going to pay in full, out of pocket. Hilarity ensued.

Posted by: McGehee at 10:22 AM on 22 October 2007