28 November 2007
How to threaten a book
Dorothy Parker once characterized a book as "not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force." I've read a few like that. But it takes a truly craptacular tome to be worthy of this torment:
"I will rip your pages out of your spine. One by one. I'm sure you will make some very delightful tearing noises."
Good gods, that's heinous. Al sounded appalled.
Septimus blanched at the sorcerer's remark.
"And then," Blackthorne continued in a lascivious tone, "I'm going to soak you in a nice vintage liqueur and slowly burn each page with one of those branding irons master chefs use to caramelize crème brûlée."
I get the impression that S. Y. Affolee, who created this scene for her 2007 NaNoWriMo work, Vellum and Green Vitriol, has read more of said craptacular tomes than anyone should have to and this is payback well deserved. Certainly the tormentor seems to be enjoying himself.Posted at 5:03 PM to Almost Yogurt