The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

11 November 2007

The 2009 Crescent Roller

News Item: The Malaysian carmaker Proton has announced plans to develop an "Islamic car", designed for Muslim motorists. Proton is planning on teaming up with manufacturers in Iran and Turkey to create the unique vehicle. The car could boast special features like a compass pointing to Mecca and a dedicated space to keep a copy of the Koran and a headscarf.

Top Ten Other Features of Proton's New "Islamic Car":

  1. Infidel-resistant fenders
  2. Sensor warns if car is about to enter drive-through at Taco Bell
  3. Extra-long seat belt to accommodate burqa
  4. Horn plays two bars of Scheherazade
  5. A feature patterned after OnStar calls CAIR and The New York Times in case of emergency
  6. Special Saudi model keeps women in back seat
  7. Warranted for six years/72 virgins
  8. Will not start during Ramadan
  9. Absolutely no plans for a hybrid
  10. Self-destructs upon entering Jewish neighborhoods

See your dealer today. (Suggested by LGF.)

Posted at 3:13 PM to Driver's Seat , Listing to One Side

Extra large coathanger hooks for those heavy suicide bomb belts?

Posted by: Jeffro at 4:52 PM on 11 November 2007


Actually, Scheherazade is decadent Frankish music. A real Muslim horn would play the muzzein's call to prayer.


Posted by: Mark Alger at 8:59 AM on 12 November 2007

Yeah, but that isn't as silly-sounding. :)

Besides, if it really did sound like the prayer call, we're in for some serious traffic jams.

Posted by: CGHill at 10:25 AM on 12 November 2007