The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

31 December 2007

The decimating game

Not to minimize the damage from this month's ice storm, which was considerable, and yes, various parts of the state were declared disaster areas — but that's a legal term. The fact is, in terms of actual devastation, this was pretty big, but not so much as a patch on, say, New Orleans 2005.

This statement is nicely quantified by a peevish Tulsa World reader identified as "Not a survivor," with proofreading by Michael Bates, as follows:

Your city is not suffering a disaster if:
  1. The strip clubs are all open for regular business hours.

  2. You can go to Wal-Mart and buy the supplies you need instead of having to break into Wal-Mart and steal the supplies you need.

  3. You don't have to swim to work.

  4. The biggest portion of your insurance claim is that refrigerated goods spoilage check they sent you.

  5. You spent the week crapping in your own bathroom and not in a porta-potty provided by the Red Cross.

  6. You slept in your own bed and not in a cot at a shelter.

  7. Your job is still here.

  8. You could eat out at a restaurant every single day of the so called disaster.

  9. You still had a car to get around in.

  10. You could find an ATM machine that would process your request for funds.

  11. You could still make and receive calls on your cell phones.

If you couldn't do any of the above then congratulations you are a victim. For the rest of you well, you are just a bunch of whiners who need to get a little reality check.

Can I wait until I get my insurance check?

Actually, this sort of thing is to be expected in a culture which equates victims and saints, and since most of us have little if any claim to sainthood, we go for the next-best thing. Some people even feign victimhood in the hopes of personal gain, the surest sign that things have gotten totally out of hand.

Into each life a little rain must fall, and sometimes it's freezing rain. There's plenty of time to curse the darkness once you get the candles lit.

Posted at 8:13 AM to Soonerland


TrackBack: 9:33 PM, 2 January 2008
» That's Just Crass from Musings from Brian J. Noggle
There's no point in merely surviving if you cannot sue someone, I guess. Compare and contrast with this wisdom (link seen on Dustbury; these bits correctly inject perspective into the concept of "mass disaster," but one suspects that the light version......[read more]

1. No idea, didn't check. Not high enough on my list of priorities. I'm pretty sure that all the local bars were closed due to no power, though.
2. Walmart and Kmart didn't have power, either.
6. I slept on the floor in a different smaller, more easily heated room.
8. All the restaurants in town also were without power.

I didn't have any damage beyond inconvenience, therefore no need to file an insurance claim. I've cleaned up any tree damage on my own.

Posted by: unimpressed at 8:50 AM on 31 December 2007

1. No idea about the strip clubs.
4 & 9. Tree limbs on car.
5, 6, & 8. Drove to Haskell County to ride out the ice and power outages. Mom won't be complaining about not seeing my children for quite a while.
7. My job disappeared for that week and the following week, but it has since returned.
11. Most of the day on Monday, even the cell towers around here didn't have power. I had to use OnStar to make my calls, at 40 cents per minute.

Posted by: Dan B at 10:30 AM on 31 December 2007

1. Coweta County doesn't have any strip clubs -- a disaster in itself.

2. Go to Wal-Mart!? So soon after Christmas!? Are you nuts!!??

3. So, I take it a drought isn't a disaster.

4. Who has insurance? (Okay, that's not true. I'll stop now.)

Posted by: McGehee at 10:32 AM on 31 December 2007

I don't know about regular hours, but as I drove south on Yale the night after the storm, the first place I saw with power was Cloud 9 "Gentlemen's" Club. I shopped at Wal-Mart the same night our power went out and ate out every day. My office never lost power.

Posted by: Michael Bates at 1:33 PM on 31 December 2007