The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

4 January 2008

Lessons from the Iowa caucuses

By two guys who were half in the bag, so at least the bag's full, right?

  • Women who are old enough to get banged by Bill Clinton voted for Obama
  • If you're Born again you really do give a Huck
  • 495 people outside of San Diego are willing to vote for Duncan Hunter — even though half of them confused him with Duncan Hines
  • John Edwards is willing [to] ride the wave to the White House, even if it includes slapping Hillary's thigh
  • Romney learned the hard way not to run on good hair in a state full of farm wives that home perm
  • Ed Rollins is a very angry man
  • Hillary Clinton has a bad poker face
  • Hillary's advisors will like have a poker taken to their faces
  • If two old white pasty lefty northeastern Senators drop out of a White House race, no one cares
  • The CIA should use Wolf Blitzer, Anderson Cooper, and that old fat bald guy who looks like Gorbachev without the splotches on his head to get confessions out of terror detainees. Spending four hours with this group without liquor protection would break the will of just about anyone.

And now, off to the primaries, where New Hampshire will be taken for Granite.

Posted at 4:23 PM to Political Science Fiction