Strange search-engine queries (109)

Ho-hum: another week, another perfunctory examination of the logs, another dozen or so goofy search strings. But you're used to it, right?

database long island women:  Is this a database of women on Long Island, or a database of island women with, um, length?

yogurt psychological description:  At least nobody's accusing it of being multicultural.

floor wax bob vila:  Why wait until he's on the floor? Wax him now.

robot tattoo:  And you said you'd never need that extra set of drill bits.

"who needs brains when I've got these":  Trust funds, right?

what is the reason customer unsatisfied with PROTON:  Some people just don't take a positive charge very well.

matt drudge "not on radio":  And they say there's no God.

How the hell do I program this keyless entry remote for my 2003 Park Ave.?  You're asking me? Do I look like I own a Buick? (Don't answer that.)

my Scion Dealer insists I am loaded:  Maybe it's because you keep showing up with a keyless-entry remote for a Buick.

spirits watch us masturbate:  At least they don't distract us.

how to modify 2007 honda accord driver seat to accomadate [sic] someone with long legs:  Um, slide it back, maybe? Unless you're Nadja Auermann.

moist turtle's gilbert gottfried:  This is the first I've heard tell of Gilbert Gottfried having any effect on amphibians.

cooked squirrel testicles:  At least they aren't raw, though I can't address the question of moistness.

Cruex Jacob disease mad cow disease:  Um, that's Creutzfeldt. Cruex is what you use for mad jock disease.

Posted at 7:04 AM to You Asked For It