The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

31 March 2008

Strange search-engine queries (113)

For the uninitiated, this is, or has grown to be anyway, a weekly feature in which we look at the thousand or so search-engine hits that have come in during the past seven days, and reprint the goofiest one percent thereof. It is surprisingly popular, for reasons I'd just as soon not know.

Foriners getting married in denmark:  Because the laws in Forin are so restrictive, of course.

penis 26 inchers mpg:  Well, you certainly wouldn't want them in QuickTime.

what is the opposite of nondescript:  Zooey Deschanel "Descript."

downsides of physical attractiveness:  People who lack it tend to fall in love with you.

how to play "i love rock and roll" on your cell phone keypad:  You're asking me? Yeah, me?

drink coasters by architects:  I had a perfectly nice Frank Lloyd Wright model, but the coffee table wound up soaked.

why democrats are jackasses:  It's a trademark. Similarly, Republicans are pachyderms.

"invisible girlfriend" "pantyhose":  Now there's a visual, so to speak.

Condoleezza Rice showing off her boobs:  That's no way to talk about State Department career diplomats.

corporate org charts iq:  Everywhere I've worked there's been an inverse correlation.

1930s vintage women's underwear:  Some 1930s-vintage women don't wear underwear.

gilbert gottfried things to say when you can't achieve an erection:  Just thinking of Gilbert Gottfried is probably enough to kill the mood.

I do not want to do anything to screw it up with ursula:  When you reach the heat of passion? Don't mention Gilbert Gottfried.

antidisestablishmentarianism scuzzbuckets:  Whoever was trying for the Googlewhack, my congratulations.

Posted at 7:01 AM to You Asked For It

As well you know, referring to a Googlewhack on the Internet renders it no longer a Googlewhack.

Posted by: Brian J. at 8:31 AM on 31 March 2008

But of course. Wouldn't want them trying it again, now would we?

Posted by: CGHill at 8:33 AM on 31 March 2008

It was not a coaster, just a model!

An architect (or a humble designer, ahem) would tell you- much more practical is to forget the coasters altogether and use waterproof surface to put down your drinks to.

Posted by: Tat at 1:06 PM on 31 March 2008