The Finch Formerly Known As Gold

5 June 2008

Of tears and jerks

Lynn tends to resist "chick flicks":

I am about 80 percent with the guys on the topic of chick flicks. Only 80 percent because there are a lot of guys who are real jerks about it, dismissing practically any movie that isn't all about cars and guns as a "chick flick" without considering actual quality. A good movie can be about anything. What I hate about typical "romantic" movies is that the women in most of them are stupid and annoying. I can't identify with them at all. And the dying thing why are movies in which the woman dies so popular? Maybe because death precludes the inevitable. Let's be honest: if the girl in Love Story had lived another two or three years that couple would have ended up as bitter divorcees.

"What can you say about a twenty-eight-year-old girl who sued me for half of everything I own?"

And the perennial emphasis on young pretty people causes its own disconnect:

You know what's really romantic? Two people getting married, living an ordinary life and growing old together. Two ninety+ year olds holding hands — that's romantic. But that doesn't play well at the box office.

Occasionally, though, it makes a decent song. Cue the Debster:

Sitting at the table tonight
You look so beautiful in the candlelight
And looking at her, looking at him
After fifty years

I pictured you and I and candlelight
And we would look so beautiful
And two young kids
Would be wishing they were us

I used to be one of those kids. I think. But hope can take only so much dashing.

Posted at 7:14 PM to Table for One


"What can you say about a twenty-eight-year-old girl who sued me for half of everything I own?"

heh heh heh heh.

I can (almost) imagine a modern remake of that story, and in my imagining, it's not pretty.

Posted by: fillyjonk at 7:39 PM on 5 June 2008

Two ninety+ year olds holding hands that's romantic.

Heh. My wife and I just spent an evening with my Uncle John and Aunt Joan, along with Aunt Ellen. John will be 90 next year, but he was teasing Aunt Joan by tickling her neck while I was trying to take a picture.

Chris thinks maybe I take after my uncle.

Posted by: McGehee at 9:14 PM on 5 June 2008

I used to be one of those kids, too. Hope? What's that?

Posted by: GradualDazzle at 11:05 PM on 5 June 2008

"Love Story" would have been vastly improved with a couple of car chases and 3 or 4 explosions.

Posted by: Mister Snitch! at 3:32 AM on 6 June 2008

Romantic? Scary.

A person who knows your weaknesses by heart - and pushes your buttons for 70 YEARS! A person whom you made a habit to be the gates to the world; without his/her approval, signs of irritation, familiar patterns of speech, his/her toothbrush beneath the bathroom mirror you will stop functioning. After 7 year, max, what you called "love" at the beginning transforms into "intimate friendship" Then - into a boredom and series of routine contortions, like jerks of mechanical puppets connected to each other. Or of the two escapees, handcuffed together at the ankles.

Note - that is the best scenario: two people are equally enamored with each other, and how often that happens? Most likely, it's the 2 hatreds burning quietly under familiar routines, knowledge of all the little (or big) betrayals, cheating, power shifts, bloodsucking - and still staying in the same house, bringing the medicines and groceries and doing the laundry for another - because the alternative frightens more.

Thank your lucky stars, Chaz, that you're free - including freedom from resentment and dependency.

Posted by: Tat at 9:09 AM on 6 June 2008

31 years this summer; not bored yet.

Posted by: Lynn at 9:34 AM on 6 June 2008

Right.

Posted by: Tat at 9:38 AM on 6 June 2008

Well... enjoy your dark little world, Tat. I wouldn't want to live there myself.

Posted by: Lynn at 12:43 PM on 6 June 2008

Well, enjoy your Illusion Land, Lynn.

I have lived there myself.
Oh, and it is your fantasy that is little. Look around.

Posted by: Tat at 1:13 PM on 6 June 2008

Only just now I got what you implied, Lynn.
You haven't read me right: it's not my world that is dark and little.

Being unmarried and in posession of my free will (finally, after many decades of the contrary) filled my life with immesurable freedom. I have nobody to thank for the bread on my table and food for my thoughts, as well as nobody but myself to blame for anything. I can say now whatever I think - and no obligation is holding me. No in-laws to please. No someone else's agenda to follow. No coordination of schedules, no compromises. No needless sacrifice, no serving other's Ego. If somebody pushes my buttons, it is strangers whom I owe nothing - and I feel no qualms in returning the favor. Most importantly - no emotional dependency.

As to the boredom that you, supposedly, don't feel after 31 years of marriage - the fact that you spend a good chunk of your time devoted to blogosphere speaks otherwise.

Posted by: Tat at 1:29 PM on 6 June 2008

Seems to me I see more comments signed "Tat" than "Lynn."

Posted by: McGehee at 10:47 PM on 6 June 2008

Are you keeping a score, McG? Or is there a limit to a number of comments per thread one's allowed to?

See, I'm such a dumb girl - can't think of a response at once; the proper answer(s) reaches me way after the roosters called. Thank god for internet - I can record my 2.5 thoughts years afterwards!

Posted by: Tatyana at 8:18 AM on 7 June 2008

This is what I was referring to:

you spend a good chunk of your time devoted to blogosphere

FYI.

Posted by: McGehee at 6:16 PM on 7 June 2008

She's had a LiveJournal, but it's on hiatus and has been for some time.

Then again, look how much free time one can get from ignoring blogs.

Posted by: CGHill at 6:20 PM on 7 June 2008

An elderly couple holding hands?

It's been done.

Posted by: Joseph Hertzlinger at 1:58 AM on 8 June 2008

But, McG - I'm not the one protesting the boredom of marriage!
Of course I spend lots of time on the Net: I'm a single woman, free from family obligations - and don't have a life companion to occupy my time and my thoughts and to discuss and share the world around. And am very happy of this status.

Please read my first comment again.

Posted by: Tatyana at 8:51 AM on 8 June 2008
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