8 September 2006
Quote of the week

From the "Monologue" section of the Oklahoman's editorial page today, attributed to www.inopinion.com:

In her first day as anchor of the CBS Evening News, Katie Couric broke the story that Vanity Fair would publish the first photos of Suri Cruise. Immediately after, Walter Cronkite made a note to himself to spin in his grave just as soon as he gets there.

These revolutions, incidentally, will not be televised.

Permalink to this item (posted at 4:44 PM)
14 September 2006
Quote of the week (revisited)

In July I bestowed QOTW honors on Automobile's Sam Smith, for his description of what happens when you hit the Sport button on the Audi RS4:

What was a subdued, guttural thrumming suddenly becomes a glorious crescendo. It sounds like an angry, drunken bear being shot from a cannon.

This description did not sit well with at least one reader of the magazine, who sent an email impugning, well, something:

Did the editors take the day off? Does Smith have compromising pictures of [Editor-in-Chief] Jean [Jennings]? What on earth is this supposed to mean?

"If you have to ask," as Satchmo once said, "you'll never know."

As for Smith, he's still working the intoxicated-mammals turf. On the early-Eighties Bentley Mulsanne Turbo, in the October issue:

[It] was itself little more than a frighteningly-fast Rolls-Royce Silver Spirit. (Frightening due to balance, not speed; suspension tuning was left virtually unchanged when the comfortable-at-all-costs Silver Spirit was given a Bentley badge and a blower, leaving the boosted Mulsanne with all the dynamic stability of a giraffe on mescaline.)

Not that I'd ever claim to be above such descriptions.

Permalink to this item (posted at 6:11 PM)
20 September 2006
Quote of the week

Okiedoke's Mike Hermes, on the prospects for those of us who toil at the keyboard:

[P]eople like the idea of self-publishing, but it's a lot of work. Some people just get burned out real quick, thinking they're going to get famous or thinking they're going to make lots of money.

Let's see. I've been on this soapbox since the spring of '96.

  • Actual fame achieved: Zip
  • Actual money made: Somewhere in the minus triple digits

Your mileage, of course, may vary.

Incidentally, this is the last day to send your ballot for the 2006 Okie Blog Awards, which will be presented to a number of folks other than me on Saturday at the Round-up.

Permalink to this item (posted at 6:31 PM)
5 October 2006
Quote of the week

By Tragic Christian, in a guest post at The Dawn Patrol:

I'm a man, so I'm not supposed to have an opinion about abortion. Instead, let me tell you about the wonderful morning I had yesterday, taking my 2-year-old daughter Dot to speech therapy and physical therapy. Her major interest right now is reciting the colors (which she does in English and American Sign Language, yet) and reciting the names of her boyfriends in her early start toddler class ("Edgerrrrr! Androooo!") and informing me they wear "backpacks." She waved at everyone she saw that day with a cheery "Hello!" and smiled a gap-tooth smile under her mop of red hair. They smiled and waved back. What a cutie!

Oh, sorry — she has Down Syndrome. Reboot. Let me try again:

Bringing her to term was obviously a big mistake! What a tragedy SHE is! How inconvenient for everyone involved! We can't possibly get her into advanced placement classes, or an Ivy League college! What'll we say to our neighbors? Better off just to make the "hard decision" to get rid of her. Ignore my first paragraph. Just forget I said anything...

To the above, I append this comment from Jill:

This really is a lovely post.

I think it's worth pointing out, though, that raising a child with special needs is tough (and I know, all children have special needs — but therapy multiple times a week, infant hospitalization, etc. are certainly somewhat unusual). There are many people who simply don't have the resources to deal with that, and many who, as you point out, probably feel overwhelmed at the prospect of raising a special-needs child. I think it's important to promote institutional assistance, like you have in California, for families with Downs kids or kids with other disabilities. I'm very pro-choice and believe that women should always have the option of terminating their pregnancies even if we don't like their reasons, but part of the pro-choice position is giving women as many options as possible. Support for children with disabilities is a key part of that.

What can I say? Show me a minefield, and sometimes I want to dance.

Permalink to this item (posted at 10:01 AM)
12 October 2006
Quote of the week

Terry Michael, on the question of whether House Speaker Dennis Hastert should step down:

Call me an old-fashioned little-"d" democrat, but I'm willing to leave moral and ethical judgments about an official's personal conduct to the wisdom of crowds — the electorate, in this case.

Through their democratically selected Republican representatives, let the citizenry decide whether Hastert should stay or go. In fact, I wish Mr. Foley had chosen to be judged by the people of his district in Florida, rather than hide behind a smarmy, lawyerly "I was drunk and molested" defense.

A Democrat involved in a page-related sex scandal a few decades ago, gay Congressman Gerry Studds, stood before his voters and was repeatedly returned to Congress. His straight Republican colleague, Dan Crane, who had sex with a female page, was fired immediately by those who had sent him to Washington. Gay Democratic Congressman Barney Frank and gay Republican Congressman Jim Kolbe both won approval of their constituents after they were outed while in office.

In all those cases, a crowd casting ballots probably showed more wisdom than some House "ethics" committee or "independent" counsel could ever muster.

And who's to blame for all this foofaraw, anyway?

The problem Mr. Hastert is facing is not ABC News or liberal Democrats. It's a significant number of [his] party's base voters, who appear to despise gays and lesbians, and who demand that the party accept their bias as a legitimate "religious" belief. And it's also many — I think a majority — of those pesky voters in the center, who conclude Republicans are more than a little bit intolerant and are being a tad bit hypocritical.

As a Democrat, albeit a libertarian Democrat (there are about six of us), I side with the view that men are indeed canines, but it's a lot more important for congressmen to decide whether to send 18-year-olds to their deaths in the desert than it is to monitor whether dirty old men are sending "what are you wearing" instant messages to 16-year-olds at the beginning of the sex-sophisticated 21st Century.

I'd dispute that "sex-sophistication" business — I submit that we're no closer to understanding all of its ramifications now than we were when Delilah gave Samson a buzz cut — but otherwise, I bark in general assent.

And speaking of Mr Foley, Nolan Clay of the Oklahoman said this with a straight (I think) face:

Foley, a Florida Republican, quit after ABC News confronted him about lurid messages sent over the Internet to teenage, former male pages.

"Former" male pages? What, are they female now? Or somewhere in between? If that's the case, "lurid" doesn't even begin to scratch the surface, as it were. (Daily Pundit's Bill Quick caught this.)

Permalink to this item (posted at 6:17 AM)
19 October 2006
Quote of the week

Senator John McCain (R-AZ) on the possibility of the Democrats retaking the Senate:

I think I'd just commit suicide.

If you can drum up enough press coverage, John, you might be able to pass it off as martyrdom.

(From a Wonkette link dump.)

Permalink to this item (posted at 11:38 AM)
27 October 2006
Quote of the week

Credited here to "an obviously not very sciency vice-rector of Napier University at today's Professorial Lecture":

Not all chemicals are bad. For example, if we didn't have oxygen and hydrogen, we wouldn't have water, and water is an essential component of beer.

Kind of Dave Barry-esque, I think.

Permalink to this item (posted at 6:16 AM)
5 November 2006
Quote of the week

GMO Urban Ministries is an offshoot of Greater Mount Olive Baptist Church on Oklahoma City's largely-black northeast side. They've scheduled five public forums through the next year in an effort to "reconnect and revitalize" the black community. The first of them was Saturday, at which OU Black Studies instructor Kevin McPherson laid it on the line:

Why would you expect the very people who made you slaves to save you?

Okay, there's just a hint of Distrust Whitey in there, and it's not like I've haven't heard it before. Cue the Temptations' single "Ball of Confusion," as they rattle off sound bites from the incessant media blitz, and pick up on Eddie Kendricks: "Vote for me and I'll set you free!"

But I don't think Dr McPherson was baiting anyone, especially when you look at what he said in the context of, say, this:

Much of northeast Oklahoma City, formerly the geographic heart of the black community, is no longer owned by blacks, said John Pettis of the Oklahoma Housing Finance Agency.

"Until we go back to owning this community, we can't determine its destination," Pettis said.

Or this:

Parents have to regain control of their families, discipline their children and instill character and morals, said Wayne Reid of the Eastside Capitol Gateway Main Street program.

"For so long, we've allowed the community to raise our children, then we wake up one morning, and we don't know who that person is in the house," Reid said.

So jump a couple years forward in the soundtrack of the city, to the point where James Brown says "I don't want nobody to give me nothing / Open up the door, I'll get it myself." Abject declarations of white guilt, however well they may play on the nightly news, don't mean a thing to the Hardest Working Man in Show Business. And I suspect Kevin McPherson doesn't want to hear them either: there's work to be done.

Permalink to this item (posted at 10:21 AM)
12 November 2006
Quote of the week

Hornets power forward David West, on the parsimony of backup Brandon Bass:

[T]he young guyís pretty bad about that. He was a second round pick, so he always uses that as an excuse when it comes to picking up the tab. And guys are always on him, you know, maybe heíll take care of one sooner or later. But Iím hoping this year he steps up his game at the dinner table.

Bass will earn $664,209 this season (the league minimum for a second-year player), up from $398,762 last year.

Permalink to this item (posted at 12:38 PM)
17 November 2006
Quote of the week

Time is going through this tedious "Person (formerly "Man") of the Year" exercise, and to no one's surprise, there have been the usual suggestions from the usual suspects.

At one of the Timese Machine's obligatory media gatherings, former Congressman Tom DeLay tossed out a curve ball:

"I think the real Person of the Year ought to be Nancy Pelosi, the new speaker of the House. She worked for years putting a strategy together, building a huge coalition. She held the Democrats together in the House like I have never seen before. She is going to change America!"

I have to assume that DeLay would not be pleased with some of those changes, and there's nothing in the accompanying article to indicate that he was simply being snarky, so I'm filing this under "Wary Respect," a couple of tabs behind, say, Reed Richards and Prince Namor.

(Via E. M. Zanotti's sidekick Thad.)

Permalink to this item (posted at 7:20 AM)
3 December 2006
Quote of the week

Britain's Channel 4 is working up a series called Virgin School, a "reality" series about a twentysomething student who attends a Dutch "sex school" and ultimately is deflowered (or whatever the term is for a guy) by a sex therapist.

TV Squad's Adam Finley wonders why they bothered:

Frankly, I've never understood why people feel they need to be taught how to have sex. It's fairly easy: stupid people have it all the time. It's a pretty basic evolutionary mechanism.

It's like driving. Fifty percent of the population is below average, but damned few of them will admit to it.

Permalink to this item (posted at 5:38 PM)
15 December 2006
Quote of the week

Miriam is perplexed by current trends in greeting cards:

The messages are becoming increasingly vague and noncommittal. Forget Merry Christmas — they now wish you happy holidays, joys of the season, or a very jolly time. Any day now, I expect to receive a card wishing me and mine a very successful fourth quarter.

With metered postage, no doubt.

Permalink to this item (posted at 10:11 AM)
22 December 2006
Quote of the week

Jonny Lieberman at The Truth About Cars, on the misbegotten '07 Chrysler Sebring:

The handling puts the abyss in abysmal. Thereís so much torque steer that itís a constant battle just to keep the car pointed in a straight line. Even a minor stab at the go-pedal triggers the tillerís disapproval. Turns are just plain awful. Moving left and right is a multi-step affair. First, turn the wheel. Second, wait for the vehicle to fully lurch over onto one of the front springs. Finally, sit in terror as the weight is unloaded and the car leans all the way back in the other direction, maybe (or maybe not) aiming where you pointed it.

Improbably enough, the ride is even worse. With the Sebring's short wheelbase and lousy suspension, bumps aren't just felt, but profoundly understood. A choppy stretch of pavement can induce sensory hallucination; I swear a tiny man with a jackhammer was attacking my kidneys. And the pizza box thick (and flat) seats lend no support whatsoever. I will testify under oath that the engineers responsible have never driven a car in their lives.

Surely no one asked Dr. Z for this.

Permalink to this item (posted at 4:15 PM)
31 December 2006
Quote of the week

Dennis Miller, ranting on Fox News:

You know, I'm pretty sure the phrase "Life's too short" doesn't exist in Islam.

(Source in WMV format.)

Permalink to this item (posted at 9:13 AM)
5 January 2007
Quote of the week

Eric Siegmund, on running video on his iPod:

[A]t around 2 gig per movie, my iPod will hold "only" about 40 movies ... but that assumes that I don't want to carry any music or photos. Thus far, I can do without the latter, but an iPod without tunes is like a day without rutabagas, IYKWIM.

Incidentally, "a day without rutabagas" produces no Google results. Yet.

Permalink to this item (posted at 9:31 AM)
19 January 2007
Quote of the week

Brooklyn-based "commercial semiotician" A. S. Hamrah contemplates the Payless 2.0 logo, and remembers a simpler time:

Payless was once attractive to slackers, which may be why you noticed the logo change. When I was living in Allston, Massachusetts, the Payless Shoe Source on Harvard Street was a cool place in a negative sense, which gave certain people an excuse to shop there. It was an acceptable way to buy new things for people who didn't want to be perceived as buying new things. Then the internet came along, just as the culture was becoming more grasping and whoreish — and with the internet you can get whatever you want quickly. Now people will have one used item in their outfit — not used but "vintage" — just to show they're not lame. And that item will sometimes cost hundreds of dollars. Back in those shopping-at-Payless days, my girlfriend used to go to the AmVets or the Salvation Army ("the Sally") or the Goodwill ("the bargie," for "bargain store," pronounced "boggie" if youíre from Boston) and she and a lot of other people had their day — "I go on Tuesdays." But now you can go on eBay and get exactly what you want whenever you want, instead of going once every week to a thrift store and just hoping, and the result, curiously, is that people look more the same now than ever.

(Via Gawker.)

Permalink to this item (posted at 5:31 PM)
2 February 2007
Quote of the week

Venomous Kate, on Monday:

Yesterday was International Internet-free Day. Ironically, I found out about it via my RSS reader a day late.

Life is like that sometimes, and by "sometimes" I mean "more often than not."

Then again, I have a serious distrust for anything billed as "International": if you utter the word "International" in my presence, it will have to be followed by "Harvester" or "House of Pancakes" to merit my attention.

Permalink to this item (posted at 7:49 PM)
16 February 2007
Quote of the week

McGehee, moonlighting, or something, at protein wisdom:

Q.: Why did the anarchist cross the road?

A.: "Who told the @#$!ing state it could build a @#$!ing road across my path!!??"

Thank you. He'll be up here all week.

(Incidentally, last time I linked to something on pw — by Dan Collins, as it happens — I got a complaint about Jeff Goldstein. If I get a complaint about Jeff Goldstein this time ... but never mind, you can draw your own conclusions.)

Permalink to this item (posted at 6:28 AM)
23 February 2007
Quote of the week

At The Truth About Cars, commenter edgett comes up with a more generalized truth:

Ultimately, the failure of U.S.-based carmakers is an indictment of our ADD population; we have developed a system which rewards short term gains and fails to focus on the strategic value of the product or service offered.

Why would a young person in America become an engineer, an architect, a journeyman tradesman or even a doctor when those who are seen as "successful" in our system, and who are highly compensated, are those who actually produce nothing? Goldman Sachs partners split nearly 10 billion in profit last year; what is the product? Tort attorneys skim billions from the U.S. economy; what is the product? Real estate brokers routinely outperform builders, yet still have no product.

Until we as a people decide to change this system, the cancer afflicting American products and services will continue to spread. GM, Ford and Chrysler are simply highly visible tumors on our dying national will to thrive as an economy.

Maybe I'm out of step with today's marketplace, but my definition of wealth requires more than just numbers on the positive side of some electronic ledger.

Permalink to this item (posted at 10:32 AM)
1 March 2007
Quote of the week

Jay Lamm, among other things the founder of the 24 Hours of LeMons road race, writes in the April (of course) Car and Driver about a revolutionary vehicle from Chinese-owned MG — the 2008 Long March:

The name, of course, refers both to the chaotic 1934-35 retreat of Communist forces and the later consolidation of power by Mao Tse-tung's cadres over the antirevolutionary Western-leaning Chiang Kai-shek. It also refers to the formidable hike that awaits all MG owners who try driving long distances. Based on the most recent MG TF, the Long March is mildly redesigned with narrower headlights, optional pagoda roof, and Supplemental Active Restraint System (SARS).

For power, the means of production is a 2.5-liter gang of four making 28,275 BDARCORFP (Brake Disgraced Anti-Revolutionary Cadres on Re-Education Farm Power) at 6800 CRPM (Cultural Revolutions per Minute). Lubrication is by the sweat of the masses, and sequential-shutoff injection ensures that each cylinder receives fuel according to its needs and generates power according to its abilities. As Nanjing eschews rubber cam belts, the top end has nothing to lose but its chains. Balance shafts were rejected as decadent and counterrevolutionary.

It goes on from there, working in just about every Communist cliché that ever was, which means inevitably that the narrative occasionally becomes Wobbly.

Permalink to this item (posted at 5:40 PM)
16 March 2007
Quote of the week

Rebels without a clue? Martin's analysis:

Whenever some teenage wannabe anarchist revolutionary type goes out and protests against "capitalists" and "corporations" and "globalization", all while sleeping safely at night in the shelter of his parent's 4 bedroom home, he's engaging in a particularly safe kind of "rebellion."

He can "rage against the machine" all he wants, knowing, at least on a subconscious level, that the "machine" is what gives him the affluence and the free time to do all his "raging." And also knowing that despite all his "raging", the "machine" not only considers him less bothersome than a fly, but that the "machine" will still be there after graduation when he cuts his hair, takes out his piercings, covers up his tatoos, puts on a suit and goes straight to "the machine" for his 50k management trainee job.

And all the while, as he's doing his "raging" he can posture as a dashing and dangerous revolutionary hero-of-the-people (and score some primo hippie-girl poontang while he's at it).

I suspect this can be codified as a metalaw: anything worth doing (and, not surprisingly, anything not worth doing) will sooner or later be overrun by poseurs.

Permalink to this item (posted at 6:27 AM)
Quote of the week (reserve)

Of course, should the original Quote of the Week be unable to fulfill its duties, said duties will devolve upon this one.

Steph Waller, researching box wines:

I'm darned tired of wine snobbery. Wine should taste good. It's that simple. You don't need to know how to swirl a glass, or inhale the vapors as the wine sits on your tongue (that little pantomime makes you look like a demented fish, anyway). All you need to know is, do you like it? If not, it's a bad wine. If so, it's a good wine. And who the hell cares how much it costs?

Waller is working on a book on this very subject.

Permalink to this item (posted at 7:31 AM)
23 March 2007
Quote of the week

What is expected of a dealer in firearms, as described by Tamara K.:

When I walk up to your counter and say "Good sir, I would like to see that Euroshooter 55," I don't want to hear "Damn, honey, you don't want one of those. We had those in the 'Nam, and they got all of us killed. Why, I was killed five times because my Euroshooter jammed, plus the bullets just bounced off Charlie and actually made him stronger when you hit him. They're crap. You want you one of these here Thunderzappers! That there's a real gun!" Aside from the fact that calling me "honey" causes me to have to fight down the urge to shoot you in the kneecap, if the Euroshooter is such a crappy gun, then what in the hell is it doing in your showcase? Does your employer know about your scintillating sales pitch? I know that if I heard that in my shop, you'd be out checking to see if Wal-Mart had any greeter's slots open within the hour.

I need hardly add that gun shops aren't the only offender of this type.

Permalink to this item (posted at 6:27 AM)
30 March 2007
Quote of the week

Veronica Nichols, on the asininity of "blog wars":

Disagreeing in text form with something someone else has typed is not "silencing." To pretend that's the case is pretty much the same thing as belittling actual instances of silencing — ya know? The kind where tyrannical governments murder people and destroy evidence?

Look, y'all. The internet is broken down as follows: 70% porn, 10% pictures of cats, 9% MySpace, 5% YouTube, 5% useful information, and 1% blogs.

That, my friends, is not the make up of a battlefield.

On the other hand, there really are a few seriously sick jokers out there, and sometimes the power of Total Global Humiliation seems insufficient to deal with them, so be sure to keep your powder dry.

Permalink to this item (posted at 6:28 AM)
13 April 2007
Quote of the week

(Note: This week you get the two-for-one special.)

The problem with that Imus remark, I've suggested (for instance, here), is that it simply wasn't funny.

But at the heart of the matter may be something much worse:

[I]t isn't so much the mindless racist language that Imus used in making his "observation" that bothered me, but the reason that he considers the Rutgers women worthy of verbal denigration. In the minds of some men — men like Imus and not a few rappers — the Rutgers women committed a cardinal "sin": not being physically attractive to that man personally. And, in spite of all the personal accomplishments of such women, this makes them fair game for scorn, whether couched in racist language or not. And, for that alone, Imus deserves the shunning of the magnitude that he is receiving.

Me, I'm checking my eyeballs for planks, just in case. (Thank you, Juliette.)

Meanwhile, reporting from outside Victim Central:

If black Americans in 2007 are this delicate and overreact to the slightest insults with this much unrighteous indignation, it's pretty safe to say black people are not made the way they used to be, of stronger stuff, able to withstand truly demeaning and criminal treatment at the hands of true oppressors. It's sad to know that the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren of people who faced actual oppression are so much weaker, much less discerning, and much more undignified.

And thank you, La Shawn.

Permalink to this item (posted at 9:16 AM)
20 April 2007
Quote of the week

Kathy Shaidle, in a column Our Sunday Visitor couldn't bring itself to run:

Did your children celebrate Lenin's birthday in school last week?

Don't answer "no" right away.

The first Earth Day "teach-in" was celebrated on April 22, 1970, to protest the Vietnam War, pollution, and littering — and to commemorate what would have been the 100th birthday of one of history's most notorious villains.

As the father of communism, the deaths of tens of millions of people can be laid at that Soviet dictator's doorstep. That now forgotten fact about Earth Day's origins should place your child's sudden enthusiasm for recycling, saving the panda bears and energy efficient light bulbs in a new, well, light.

Like the Marxist philosophy that inspired it, today's environmental movement has become, for its most ardent proponents, an ersatz religion. As Joseph Brean recently observed, "in its myths of the Fall and the Apocalypse, its saints and heretics, its iconography and tithing, its reliance on prophecy, even its schisms — the green movement now exhibits the same psychology of compliance as religion."

And some of the same pathologies on its fringes, I'd add.

The good thing about this, of course, is that there's a legitimate argument for Separation of Environmentalism and State.

Addendum, 21 April: If we're going to have Earth Day commentaries — and, let's face it, we are — I recommend this one.

Permalink to this item (posted at 7:52 AM)
10 May 2007
Quote of the week

Take your hyphen and shove it, says Marko:

There's plenty of balkanization out in the world, especially since the end of the Cold War. Every village in the former Soviet Union or Yugoslavia wants to have statehood now, and all that it does is create a multitude of warring little tribes, jealously guarding their little patches of ground against encroachment by "the others", whether those others are defined by clothing, language, face paint, diet, hygiene habits, or whatever name they choose to call their deity.

We don't need that kind of petty shit in America. It's divisive and destructive, and it does nothing but perpetuate neolithic tribal warfare. Here in the United States, most good and decent folks don't give a hoot whether their neighbor is black, white, Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, or Great Pumpkin worshiper, as long as he minds his own business and keeps his hands to himself. America is not a funny outfit, or a chant, or a collective of ancestors. America isn't a religion, or a skin color, or a language, or a way of cooking, and anyone who claims such a thing deserves a swift kick in the ass and a ticket to whatever homogeneous country best suits their personal desires for uniformity of pigmentation or religion or diet or what-the-fuck-ever.

(Also applauded by Tam.)

Permalink to this item (posted at 9:44 AM)
8 June 2007
Quote of the week (first of two)

Yes, we have a tie again, but then it's been a couple of weeks since we had a QOTW at all.

This first one is a long one, but Will has a long title: 7th Degree Bi-Cosmic Hermeticist and First Deputy in Charge of Doctrinal Enforcement.

[I]t is the nature of the Spirit to hide in plain sight. That is, the Spirit avoids what men would find seductively intriguing. The Spirit avoids the "corridors of power."

Which I've always suspected. Not that I'm exactly enlightened or anything.

Let's face it, the Spirit has a puckish sense of humor. If in 1960 someone had told you that a music was soon coming that would capture the world's imagination and even fundamentally change the world's culture, would you guess that music would be coming out of Liverpool, England?

Astronomers say that if you want to see a star clearly with the naked eye, it's best to look a little to the side of the star. Then the star comes into clear focus. I'm not sure if this applies here, but I do think it interesting.

Here's one of my own coinage: You're more likely to find a quarter on the sidewalk by not looking for it as you are by actually looking. I think this also probably applies to finding love. In either case, anxiety will be kept to a minimum.

Now he tells me.

Permalink to this item (posted at 6:58 AM)
Quote of the week (second of two)

This is second mostly because I typed the other one in first. Here's Blythe:

Everyone worth dating is already dating someone and has since at least 2005, maybe even 2004. I don't say this to be mean, it's just fact (hey, I'm in this group too). Back in 2005, I had a boyfriend and didn't know I needed to be looking for a new one. Also, marriage is the new black. I thought the idea was to wait till you've found yourself and shit. How come everyone's scrambling to tie the knot now? Medicine keeps getting better and better. We're going to live for a long time.

Now