Well, we’re having sales problems, really under the gun,
We’ve sold 99 Cadillacs, the product’s done.
Archive for Begging Bowl
Well, we’re having sales problems, really under the gun,
Tam explains the debt ceiling, starting with the reason why “debt ceiling” is an inaccurate term:
Why do they even call it a “limit” or “ceiling”, anyway? In aircraft terms, a “ceiling” is an altidude beyond which the plane cannot climb; in political terms, a “ceiling” is just any one of a series of ever higher points on a curve that went asymptotic long ago.
In the world of personal finance, credit card limits work because your credit card magically stops being able to buy stuff when you reach them. Congress, on the other hand, just tells the cashier “Run it again, it’ll work,” and it does!
Come to think of it, we have customers who believe in that mantra with all their flinty little hearts.
I’m assuming this is true for all law students, not just those at ‘Bama.
the stages of law school.
1 — yay, I’m in law school I’m going to get some great job and make millions.
2 — I’m not going to accept any summer job less than like $20 an hour, $10 is insulting.
3 — $10 isn’t as bad as it sounds, I mean it’s something, right?
4 — do you think if I emailed this person they would let me intern? i mean hell I’ll do it for free, i just want the experience.
5 — OMG will I ever find a job?
With modifications, this will fit rather a lot of situations.
It is a tradition in parts of South America, says Fausta, to wear fresh yellow underwear to ring in the New Year:
Among the traditions, is wearing yellow underwear at the moment when New Year arrives. According to beliefs, doing so brings wealth and prosperity in the coming year.
Venezuela, the country with the least prosperity, had difficulty following the tradition:
Agencia Carabobeña de Noticias (News Agency of Carabobo, ACN) reported that this year, Yellow Underwear is Rare and Costly, with panty prices increasing by 73% and 185% (depending on the shop) since 2012. Bra inflation was worse, with prices increasing by 300% to 500%. Men’s underpants doubled in price (the article doesn’t specify jockeys or boxers). ACN also itemized the rise in prices in the foods traditionally served on New Year’s Eve, with similar results.
The Venezuelan government, still emotionally wedded to the halfwit Marxism of Chávez, presumably blames gnomes.
General Motors has announced that Holden, its Australian brand since 1931, will be reduced to a sales-and-parts facility: actual production of Holden cars and utes will be moved offshore after 2017.
This drew more anguish in the Australian press than the similar move announced earlier by Ford, perhaps because Ford is, well, an American brand at heart, perhaps because the Australian government has turned rightward since then and therefore the political left, fond of anguish as a motivational tool, can now blame it all on the government.
One Victoria Rollison, described by Telegraph columnist Tim Blair as a “caring leftist,” sent an open letter to Holden chairman Mike Devereux which ended with “Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help keep Holden here.”
Blair scoffed: “Buying a new Holden would help.” And then he offered to put his money where his mouth is:
Readers are invited to speculate in comments about the car Victoria currently owns. If she provides proof that it’s a non-secondhand, locally-made Holden, I’ll walk into my nearest Holden dealer and hand over a $250 donation.
“Caring leftists,” after all, don’t buy big rear-wheel-drive sedans. (Well, Barack Obama did, once upon a time, but he decided that his Chrysler 300 was a campaign liability, and he went out and bought a hybrid.) No chance Tim Blair has to part with a single Australian dollar on this one.
First female CEO at General Motors. Historic moment? Maybe — or maybe not:
I am not as thrilled as the rest of the country seems to be by the appointment of a woman to lead General Motors. If not for the $10.5B-losing bailout, GM would have have had to examine their practices, make changes and compete in the real world market place. The Saturn never would have been killed and Cadillac models would once again have names instead of numbers. As it stands though, the bailout provided a soft landing for all of their stumbles and they are now upright and undamaged. But are they changed? If they’re not, God Help Mary T. Barra the first female CEO of GM and the patsy set up to take the blame for the coming fall.
In defense of Barra, she does seem to understand cars, something no one ever would have said of predecessor Dan Akerson.
“Whew! That was a close one!” we’re supposed to be saying as the Treasury disposes of the balance of its holdings in General Motors, although Treasury — and therefore taxpayers — lost ten and a half billion dollars on the deal:
Without the bailout, the country would have lost more than 1 million jobs, and the economy could have slipped from recession into a depression, Treasury Secretary Jacob Lew said on a conference call with reporters.
Well, if Jacob Lew says the alternative was worse than losing $10.5 billion of taxpayer money, who are we to disagree? Because the effects of hypothesized alternative scenarios are always subject to speculation, officials can justify any policy by declaring that things would have been worse if we had done something different. (Let’s keep this principle of Liberal Logic™ in mind: Next time some hippie peacenik tells you that Bush’s Iraq policy was a failure, just remind him that an imaginary hypothetical alternative — e.g., Saddam Hussein’s army invading Connecticut — would have been much worse.)
Oh, and that blue floodlight out in the yard? It keeps tigers away.
“Maximum Bob” Lutz, presumably at a safe distance, discloses that the Feds ordered the death of Pontiac:
“The Feds basically wanted to get GM down to Cadillac and Chevrolet. They said, ‘you don’t need all these brands. You need one prestige brand, and one mass-market brand.’ And we said ‘well we can’t get rid of Buick because Buick is important in China, and if Buick becomes an orphan in the United States then the Chinese are no longer gonna be interested in it.’ And the Feds said ‘Fair enough, but everything else goes.’ We said well we’d also like to keep GMC. They said ‘well, GMC is basically just like Chevrolet,’ and we said ‘that may be true, there may be a lot of shared components, but GMC has an entirely different image, a different customer base, and people are willing to pay different prices for a GMC, and here’s the profitability,’ and the Feds said ‘whoops, okay, keep GMC.’
“So now we had Buick, GMC, Cadillac, and Chevrolet, and then, I wanted, badly wanted, to keep Pontiac, because Pontiac was on its way back, and it had been mismanaged for a number of years, you know, with ‘rebuild excitement,’ and the excitement was only in the plastic body cladding, mechanically there was nothing about Pontiac in the 90s that would make your heart beat faster. And with the solstice and solstice coupe, and with the Pontiac G8, which was a great car. We were embarked on a strategy of making Pontiac different from the rest of GM in that Pontiac wouldn’t get any front wheel drive cars, they would all be rear-wheel drive, and the next G6, was going to use the architecture of the Cadillac ATS, it was going to be a 3-series sized rear-wheel Pontiac, with basically the Cadillac ATS ‘de-premiumized,’ obviously, a lot of the cost taken out, but still fundamentally that architecture.
That was going to be the next G6, and I think we could’ve moved Pontiac away from every other American volume brand and really started positioning it as attractive US alternative to some of the, and obviously at much lower prices than the European rear-wheel drive cars, but the Feds said ‘yeah, let’s just, how much money have you made on Pontiac in the last 10 years?’ and the answer was ‘nothing.’ So, it goes. And, when the guy who is handing you the check for 53 billion dollars says I don’t want Pontiac, drop Pontiac or you don’t get the money, it doesn’t take you very long to make up your mind.”
Truth be told, I rather liked that original government pitch: you get one mass-market brand, one premium brand, and that ought to be enough for anybody. (Ford, not incidentally, came to this conclusion on its own.) But notice how the Feds are willing to indulge the Chinese with regard to Buick, which at the time was selling roughly half Pontiac’s volume in the States.
Personally, I think they should have ordered GMC to go a bit farther upscale. And if we’re really concerned with GM’s proliferation of brands worldwide, why is Chevrolet trying to get a foothold in Europe, thereby cannibalizing sales of Opel/Vauxhall?
So now the General is repositioning Cadillac as the purveyor of RWD BMW alternatives, the ATS aimed right at the 3-series, the new CTS going after the 5. I’m not sure where the XTS fits in here, unless it’s just to reassure old farts like me who remember the word “Brougham,” and the ELR, let’s face it, is basically a Voltier Chevy Volt. Neither XTS nor ELR, I submit, would have had any business being a Pontiac.
Hyundai’s Assurance plan, which goes back several years, cuts installment buyers some slack during Hard Times. And they’ve now opened it up to include furloughed Federal workers during the current, um, financial unpleasantness:
Hyundai Motor America [1 October] announces the latest addition to its Assurance program with the launch of a new payment deferral program aimed at helping federal employees furloughed during the government shutdown. Under the plan, Hyundai will defer all auto loan and lease payments during the shutdown for current Hyundai owners who are furloughed.
“We recognize the impact on family budgets that the furlough will drive,” said John Krafcik, president and CEO of Hyundai Motor America. “Like we did almost four years ago when we launched Hyundai Assurance, this is our way of saying ‘We’ve got your back’ during this uncertain time.”
Current owners in the Hyundai family will be provided relief from payments for as long as they are out of work. Furloughed employees who wish to buy a car in October will be offered a 90-day payment deferral.
Presumably the balance due will accrue interest during the deferral period, but this is still a seriously grand gesture.
Of course, we all know why Jeff Bezos was willing to ante up a quarter of a billion for the Washington Post: he got free shipping.
Still, this question comes up:
In any event, it’s noteworthy that the Boston Globe was sold for $70 million in the same week the Washington Post garnered $250 million. The disparity in sale prices hasn’t been explained.
Two factors come to mind:
- The Post still moves about 480,000 copies a day, even though a growing percentage of those copies are virtual. The Globe sells about half as many.
- Several times before, the New York Times Company, which owned the Globe, has sold properties to refocus on the Family Business; it’s possible that they wanted to firm up their balance sheets after paying off Mexican benefactor Carlos Slim three years early.
We will, of course, never know how much Phil Anschutz peeled off for the Oklahoman.
In the spring of 2012, Advance Publications announced that its New Orleans newspaper, the Times-Picayune, would cut its publication schedule to three days a week in an effort to cut costs, and staff would be commensurately reduced. That fall, the Advocate, a Baton Rouge paper still running seven days a week, added a New Orleans edition. Smarting at this intrusion into what was once their territory, the TP went back to a full schedule, sort of: the broadsheet version still comes out three times a week, but a newsstand-only tabloid edition appears on three other days. (How you count the Sunday paper, which first appears on Saturday, is up to you.)
Advance has now announced the imposition of a TP-like schedule on their Cleveland paper:
While [the Plain Dealer] will continue to publish a print edition daily, the paper will be home-delivered only on Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Other Advance papers have adopted, or are about to adopt, similar schedules, the major exception for now being the Star-Ledger in New Jersey.
Bill Quick modestly proposes a solution to both illegal immigration and Detroit’s insolvency:
Let’s roast two birds with one stone. Are you an illegal alien? Would you like to become a legal resident? Fine. All you have to do is emigrate to Detroit, pledge never to join a union, and agree not to accept any welfare or other government support payments whatsoever. In turn, Detroit will become a free economic zone with no federal, state, or local taxes, and no government regulations.
This might even encourage some of the 700,000 remaining residents to stick around, assuming the deal was offered to them.
How would this work? Cutting off benefits in that zone could be seen as a violation of equal protection; but they’re not technically being cut off, only being refused by the would-be beneficiaries. I’ve seen thinner hairs than that being split. (It is assumed for purposes of illustration that reneging on that deal would presumably, once the benefits application was received, get you a one-way trip back to wherever.) And truth be told, I like the idea of this purely as an experiment. Surely it can’t be any worse than what’s in Detroit now.
See also this Michael Bloomberg proposal.
Q: How much does Detroit owe?
A: Long-term debt could be as much as $20 billion.
Q: How does Oklahoma City compare?
A: Oklahoma City and its related trusts owe a little more than $1.3 billion. Property taxes are used to make payments on about $600 million in general obligation bonds, meaning taxpayers are on the hook for that money. Revenue bonds issued by related trusts are secured by specific streams of cash — for instance, payments on the $344 million owed by the Oklahoma City Water Utilities Trust are made from money collected for water and sewer services. Nine related trusts borrow to finance public services including airports, the fairgrounds, parking and economic development.
Q: One battle in Michigan is over whether bankruptcy could lead to cuts in pension benefits for retired public employees. Is this an issue in Oklahoma City?
A: Actuarial figures that came out last week show Oklahoma City’s pension system is 99-percent funded. That system covers civilian employees; fire and police are in state pension systems.
State pension funding is running about 65 percent, an improvement over recent years but still a bit short of where it ought to be.
Interestingly, Detroit’s 2013-14 budget calls for $1 billion in expenditures. Oklahoma City, with 100,000 fewer people, has a 2013-14 budget that calls for — um, $1 billion in expenditures. On the other hand, OKC is caught up on its debt service, and legally can’t run a deficit.
I winced when I wrote the check for those tires the other day — the wrong side of $700, it was — but I take comfort in the fact that I could have done a whole lot worse:
Rent-to-own tire shops are among the newest arrivals to a sprawling alternative financial sector focused on the nation’s economic underclass. Like payday lenders, pawn shops and Buy Here Pay Here used-car lots, tire rental businesses provide ready credit to consumers who can’t get a loan anywhere else.
And, just like those other operations, they work on massive margins:
[A] couple last September agreed to pay Rent-N-Roll $54.60 a month for 18 months in exchange for four basic Hankook tires. Over the life of the deal, that works out to $982, almost triple what the radials would have cost at Wal-Mart.
Still, if you have to scrape to get $14 a week, and there have been times when I have had to, what else can you do? Used tires? Bus passes?
(Via Outside the Beltway.)
Fifty million shares of General Motors go on the block today, thirty million from the Treasury, twenty million from the UAW Retiree Medical Benefits Trust, in the hopes that the General’s return to the Standard & Poor’s 500 index (also today) will hype the price a bit.
Of the $49 billion taxpayers put up to bail out GM, almost $32 billion has been recovered; assuming a price in the low-to-mid-30s, the Treasury offering should bring in a billion more. Officially, Treasury plans to exit GM entirely by next April; it’s not likely they’ll break even, but the company may well be helped by losing the stigma of being “Government Motors” — at least in the States. Canada and the province of Ontario, which hold about 9 percent of GM stock, aren’t selling at this time.
Treasury, I have to figure, isn’t particularly thrilled by the fact that much of GM’s market momentum is being propelled by the arrival of new trucks, but I also figure that fiduciary responsibility trumps green posturing elsewhere in Washington. And if it doesn’t, well, it should.
(Via The Truth About Cars.)
Buenos Aires, like Washington, is bothered by tantalizing hints of funds yet untaxed. Unlike Washington, they have a Plan, kinda sorta:
President Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner wants tax evaders hiding about $160 billion in dollars to help finance Argentina’s oil-producing ambitions. Her offer: Buy a 4 percent bond or face the prospect of jail time.
The tax authority announced the plan May 7, highlighting its information-sharing agreements with 40 nations and warning Argentines who don’t use the three-month amnesty window that they risk fines or arrest. Evaders have two options for their cash and the only one paying interest will be a dollar bond due in 2016 to finance YPF SA, the state oil company. The 4 percent rate is a third the average 13.85 yield on Argentine debt and less than the 4.6 percent in emerging markets.
This is not, incidentally, the first time the Argentine government has gone after those wicked rich people:
Many Argentines hide assets to avoid a 35 percent income tax and a levy of as much as 1.25 percent on their personal wealth. Undeclared assets are also beyond the reach of the government, which in 1989 seized bank certificates of deposit in exchange for bonds and in 2002 converted dollar deposits into pesos.
Incidentally, if you didn’t know Argentina had a state oil company these days, that’s also a Fernandez scheme, as is fining economists who suggest that the inflation rate, claimed by Buenos Aires to be 10 percent, is actually more than twice that.
Fortunately, the US has unofficial inflation statistics, far more believable than the government’s official bumfuzzlery.
“The disruption economy,” Dave Schuler calls it, and he has plenty of examples to cite:
[I]magine a world in which not just individual businesses or even industries and trades vanish but in which complete business models, groups of industries, are failing and being replaced by new ones practically on a daily basis.
He cites Aereo, a multi-antenna television service that delivers over-the-air channels to subscribers for about one-fifth what cable companies charge, which has a couple of networks threatening to drop their local signals in response. But that’s hardly the only one:
[H]igher education’s business model is not long for this world. The big law firms’ business model has already changed and there are hundreds or thousands of young lawyers standing dazed in the wreckage. One of the insufficiently remarked-on aspects of the PPACA is how much it changes physicians’ business model.
Retail has been in ferment for decades. Soon there will only be online sales as exemplified by Amazon.com, boutiques (which are mainly a hobby business), and Walmart. J. C. Penney’s problems, still being covered in the business pages, are that there is no room for yet another commodity retailer.
And why do you think your favorite magazines, or for that matter the ones you can’t stand, are so assiduously courting tablet owners?
Thirty years from now, the business landscape will be unrecognizable. (And so will I, but that’s another matter entirely.)
Bankrupt battery maker A123 Systems, last seen rushing into the arms of Chinese conglomerate Wanxiang Group, has announced a name change — to “B456.” Yes, really:
As part of A123′s bankruptcy proceedings dating to last October, it was required to change its name in order to be purchased by Chinese company Wanxiang. According to the Detroit Free Press, as part of a March 22, 2013 filing with the US Securities and Exchange Commission, A123 declared that its new name is B456.
Oh, it gets better:
We’re not sure if anyone at A123 realized the irony — B456 is also the model number for a fire extinguisher made by Amerex that happens to be good for “energized electrical equipment.”
“They’re always changing corporation names,” Grace Slick observes.
Not that you’d remember after ten years, but my agent and I traipsed through ten properties before I decided to buy the eleventh, which is now of course the palatial estate at Surlywood. For the record, this is what I thought of the tenth:
This place was a foreclosure, and it had been suggested in earlier discussions that despite what you see on those TV infomercials, there’s not a lot of benefit to buying these things; apparently, once informed that they’re about to be dispossessed, the occupants avenge themselves by trashing the premises. It was certainly the case here: non-functional appliances were scattered about, the window treatments were more trick than treat, and someone had made off with a couple of downspouts, fercrissake. This will be a beautiful home for someone someday — provided that someone is willing to spend half again the purchase price to restore its dignity. I’m not.
Have things improved in the last decade? Of course not:
When people have little incentive to behave well, and when nobody is watching, what do people do? The last few years have given us millions of opportunities to answer that question as people living in foreclosed homes decided whether to leave those homes in decent condition or to instead pour concrete down the drain.
These folks are lucky to live in the US — we have the most lenient home mortgage system in the world. Very, very few other countries in the world have no-recourse mortgages where one can walk away only with a ding on their credit record, without even a personal bankruptcy. Almost anyplace else, they would be facing years of garnishments for whatever losses on the loan the bank had after they sold the home.
One could argue, I suppose, that a system that would lend me money is too lenient by definition. Still, despite qualifications that could fairly have been described as marginal, I got the loan, and I’ve never come close to foreclosure; I’ve never even been stuck with a late charge.
I’m guessing you’ve probably already figured this out. Bill Quick certainly has:
[I]n an effort to save TBTF banks, the government crashed interest rates into negative numbers (adjusting for inflation) which destroyed the incomes of millions of retirees and others, forcing them to depend entirely on government payments of one kind or another.
At which point the government noticed how dangerous the savings and investment environment had become for older folks, thanks to the government’s own actions — and so it arrogated to itself the necessity of taking over the management of retirement savings for the saver’s own good.
My bank statements come out today, so I can stare in disbelief at the incredibly low interest rate I’m earning, although it’s only half as low as it was last year.
Eventually, I suspect, the Feds will actually try to confiscate those savings, there being no reason to think that Washington is any more competent and/or scrupulous than, say, Cyprus.
An emergency financial manager with wide-ranging powers has been appointed for the troubled US city of Detroit, in the biggest state takeover for years.
Kevyn Orr, a lawyer who worked on restructuring the carmaker Chrysler after bankruptcy, will be able to override elected officials.
The Motor City is running a deficit in the neighborhood of $300 million and has piled up $14 billion in debt. Michigan Governor Rick Snyder is clearly tossing up a Hail Mary here, but realistically, what choice does he have? It’s not like they can send Kwame Kilpatrick the bill — except for $850,000 or so.
Under previous Australian law, dormant deposit accounts were turned over to the government after seven years. The new rule is three years, and they mean it:
Thousands of bank account holders are being advised to make transactions of as little as $1 to avoid having their accounts transferred to the Australian Securities and Investments Commission to help plug the federal government’s budget deficit.
Under recent changes to the law designed to raise $109 million this financial year, deposits can be deemed unclaimed if a transaction has not been made on an account for three years or more, down from seven years previously.
Collecting interest, apparently, is not considered a transaction.
Now if you ask me, this is the definitive word on the Dread Sequester:
[T]he Sequester has become the high school drama queen of budget cuts. Instead of working the problem out rationally, making strategic cuts to bloated, ineffective or, even better, non-existent government programs, the Sequester levies 2.3% cuts across the board to useful and non-useful programs without critical distinction, tears its $200 prom dress to shreds, pulls out its hair extensions by the roots, locks itself in the bathroom, takes six days worth of Vitamin D caplets and claims to be thiiiis close to killing itself over the toilet unless you extend its curfew by one hour. You want budget cuts, fine. Consider yourself to have one less budget to cut.
And what do the perennial adolescents in the Congress do? Exactly what you’d think:
Republicans are responding to this in typical Republican fashion. You want to slice up the federal government and make us fly coach where we don’t get free alcohol and those fluffy fleece blankets? Fine. I hope your Medicaid patients who will determine the public relations results of this disaster starve to death in the streets. The Democrats, on the other hand, have taken to scaring the sh*t out of Americans. First, the government was going to shut down. Then, everyone’s paychecks were going to be late.
After living for nearly three years with a 32.3-percent budget cut, I figure I’m overqualified for Congress. Then again, I have a conscience, which makes me fundamentally unfit for the job anyway.
In law parlance, “sequestration” is the seizure of property by an agent of the court, pending the resolution of a dispute regarding same. The current Congressional definition seems to be something of a distortion of the term, but then it’s Congressional: the only seizure involved is the one you get when you hear what they’re up to.
And by “they,” I do mean all of them:
When it comes to the military, Republicans use the same “closing the Washington Monument” tactics that Democrats use for social programs, essentially claiming that a 5% (or 1%) spending cut will result in the cessation of whatever activity taxpayers most want to see continue. This process of offering up the most, rather than the least, important uses of money when spending cuts are proposed as a tactic to avoid spending cuts is one of the most corrupt practices imaginable. No corporate CEO would tolerate it of his managers for a micro-second.
The Washington Monument is a shade over 555 feet tall. It would therefore be essentially impossible to impale all 535 members of Congress upon it simultaneously. I suppose they’ll have to take turns.
Let’s talk jobs. Better yet, let’s not talk jobs:
Jobs are nice, but what people really need is something to do. If they don’t have enough to do, they are susceptible to being recruited into a campaign to DO SOMETHING, like get out the vote, or march on Washington for some cause or other, or in much of the world, go to war against your neighbors. After all, providing a third world peasant with an AK-47, a case of ammo and a fifty pound bag of dried beans can’t cost more than a few hundred dollars, and look how much havoc you can cause, and the glorious ransoms you can collect.
The trick, of course, is to keep that stuff away from first-world peasants.
Henrik Fisker might think there’s a curse on his car company, what with recalls, fires, and the occasional flood. It’s been six months since the last Fisker Karma was built, and the company wants to explain why:
Valmet [which assembled the first Karmas] traditionally shuts down for Scandinavian summer break from mid July to mid August. When they returned, our new management team wanted to renegotiate the contract with them and during this period, A123 started to enter bankruptcy. We took the prudent decision to conserve our battery stock and we already have sufficient supply of Karmas through Q1 of this year. By that time we hope to have renegotiated our battery supply with A123′s new owners Wanxiang.
In fact, they might get a handful of battery packs coming back to them, thanks to, of all people, Maximum Bob Lutz and his idea of
[T]he VL Automotive Destino that was just unveiled at the Detroit Auto Show was certainly a surprise, even to long-time Lutz-watchers… the Destino is a Fisker Karma with a 638-horsepower supercharged LS9 V8 transplanted from a Chevrolet Corvette ZR1. Plug? Gone. High-tech lithium-ion battery? Sold back to Fisker.
Lutz says he has twenty orders for the Destino, and explains why it might actually be viable:
“I just heard so many people say, I love the Fisker Karma but I’m not going to buy it because I don’t want that electric drivetrain with the four-cylinder engine… Here’s this ultra-luxurious, super-low, super-sporty, beautifully designed four-door sedan. Probably ten percent of the possible customers want that in an electric form with a four-cylinder.”
Fisker has built 1900 Karmas so far, and has sold eight to Lutz.
Megan McArdle slips this zinger into a piece about that hypothetical (so far, anyway) trillion-dollar coin:
When I was reporting on Wall Street, I used to be told with some regularity that government was needed to counteract the short-term thinking of the business sector, who never thought much beyond the next quarterly earnings report. This now seems as quaintly adorable as picture hats and daily milk deliveries. An ADHD day trader with a cocaine habit and six months to live has considerably more long-term planning skills than our current congress.
Speaking of that chimerical currency, it fits perfectly into the story we told in first grade — which was more than 50 years ago, hence the seemingly modest pricing — about the youngster who sold his puppy to some kid up the street for a thousand dollars.
Well, he didn’t actually sell the puppy for $1000: he traded it for two $500 kittens.
It’s Spend-O-Rama time in Washington, as it has been for several decades now, and this is why it will continue:
We noticed from a report on the recent Japanese election that “Google” is now used as an accounting term. The company being currently valued at some par amount in trillions or quadrillions of yen, the degree of “quantitative easing” (i.e. money to be created ex nihilo) the Bank of Japan is now compelled to provide overnight against its own better judgement in light of the election result was expressed as, “six Googles.”
But why not eight? Or twelve? Why not create one hundred Googles of fresh, new, imaginary money? The people have spoken for more zeroes, & why are more zeroes being denied?
Which demonstrates, I suppose, that Mencken was right.
I see a rumor that the New York Times will be for sale in 2013. I think it would be nuts for politically dependent billionaires (i.e., most billionaires) to evaluate buying the NYT solely based on net present value of cash flow. Do you think Carlos Slim regrets the money he spent bailing out the NYT in 2008? The Mexican telecom monopolist bought himself years of being not considered terribly newsworthy, while Americans who want to reduce the profits Slim makes on calls to and from illegal aliens were recurrently demonized. And any connection between Slim’s bailout and the NYT’s virulence against immigration skeptics is simply Not News. Money well spent.
Slim bought 6.4 percent of the company’s Class A stock in 2008, and has since bought more; he subsequently lent them $250 million at a reported 14-percent interest rate, which has been repaid. Then again, the real power at NYTCO remains the Ochs/Sulzberger clan, which continues to control the Class B stock, if not necessarily Slim.
The lovely and talented E. M. Zanotti, hoping to ward off Complete Financial Collapse, proposes several revenue-enhancement measures:
- $10 tax everytime someone uses the phrase, “my bad.”
- 20% penalty tax on anyone who ordered an apple martini after 1998.
- 40% tax on anyone who buys World Series, Super Bowl, Stanley Cup winners’ merchandise post-facto. Double if Heat or Yankees win.
- $100 penalty on anyone who uses a Bluetooth earpiece.
- Tribal tattoo? $30 per year tax. Tramp Stamp? $50. Double if it’s a butterfly.
- 50% additional income tax on anyone listing their primary occupation as “reality television star.”
- $1000 penalty for every unnecessarily tinted car window.
- Immediate institution of the Axe Body Spray Tax.