A day doesn’t go by that someone doesn’t ask this:
Guys keep pressuring me to send them nudes, I tell them no but they don’t listen. The guys who ask usually send me pictures first. I don’t like giving into peer pressure but I have before. So what do I do or say to the people who ask????
Perhaps there should be an FAQ on such matters, written by an authority on the subject. I nominate Robert Stacy McCain:
So-called “sexting” is such a disastrously bad idea that I shouldn’t even have to explain why it’s a bad idea. Here is the thing: The “sexting” participant provides his or her partner with evidence — a permanent digital record of text messages and images — that the partner can then use as he or she pleases. Any young woman who sends nude selfies to a guy can just presume that he will immediately show the photos to all his friends. They always do. That’s why guys ask for nude photos from girls, in order to display them to their buddies as trophies. Any guy who asks for a nude photo is a creep, and any girl who sends a nude photo is a fool. The fact that we now have laws against so-called “revenge porn” (i.e., the unauthorized distribution of nude photos and/or videos, typically as revenge against an ex-girlfriend) does not change the reality that only a fool would ever send a nude photo of herself to a guy, and it is not “victim-blaming” to say so, no matter what any feminist tries to tell you.
“But Stacy, all the kids are doing it!”
No, they are not, and that kind of peer-pressure excuse is part of the problem. Responsible adults do not endorse foolish behavior simply because it is common behavior, and “sexting” is foolish behavior. Even if you did want to engage in reckless promiscuity, it would be foolish to create a permanent digital record of such behavior.
Of course, the question is almost always asked by someone in her teens, in which case the laws involved get seriously harsh seriously quickly: grownup nudes are one thing, but you can’t spell “jailbait” without, um, jail.