Seven AM, waking up in the morning
Gotta sit up, gotta work the brain
Gotta have my logs, gotta have all the lines
Seeing everything, the time is going
Ticking on and on, everybody’s rushing
Gotta log on and then go post this
Gotta get to work before my friends
Googlers in the front seat
Yahoos in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Whose snark shall I take?
It’s Monday, Monday
Doing this thing on Monday
Everybody’s looking forward to the queries, queries
Five years now on Monday
Everybody’s looking forward to the new jokes.
(With apologies to Rebecca Black.)
“abstinence makes the tart go yonder”: Assuming, of course, that is what you had in mind in the first place.
can never please: In which case, you should probably not be looking for a position as a tart.
Alienating fear dust from reality, enchanted soundscapes decade of my reasons! Run Fly intercept: You know, there is such a thing as too much gaming.
can propecia cause brain damage: Look at it this way. If you’re obsessed about the appearance of the outside of your head, you don’t have time to worry about the inside of it, do you?
chewable viagra: Not a good idea. For one thing, it tells your partner that you can’t or won’t swallow.
Gloria Steinem nice legs: Betty Friedan, also. Not that either of them would want you to remember them for that.
city triangles junior pick up balloon dread castro from younger: One should not use search engines while taking Ambien, and this is why.
how to mention your birthday: Look puzzled, then say: “Wasn’t I supposed to be at a party right about now?”
itching-powder rival panties: Middle school certainly has gotten vicious these days.
Frank zappa current state creativity loss: The present-day composer is presently decomposing, which surely cuts down on his ongoing creativity.
yasser arafat is schrodinger’s cat: You’d have to open the coffin to be sure.
“ode to billie joe” king uszniewicz: Now there’s a cover not even Brian Ibbott would play. (If you’re not familiar with King Uszniewicz and his Uszniewicz-Tones, start here.)