Alvy Singer (Woody Allen), in Annie Hall, addressing the audience:
There’s an old joke … um … two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of ’em says, “Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.” The other one says, “Yeah, I know; and such small portions.”
That was nearly forty years ago, but it’s evidently still remembered:
Lawsuit alleges the food in S.C. prisons is so bad it violates the 8th Amendment. 4th Cir.: Case can proceed. pic.twitter.com/AQox9z3JPn
Not everyone has an opinion on the Oxford comma; some people simply don’t give a fark. Still, there are times when you absolutely need that extra little bit of punctuation, and Michael Barone’s Friday column was one of them. As it appeared in the local paper on Saturday:
Ted Cruz showed an ability to adapt to terrain and vary his approach from his usual college-debater style. Appearing with his wife, mother and supporter Carly Fiorina, he spoke of the achievements and tragedies of women in his life.
I admit to a certain fondness for Carly Fiorina, but I had no idea she was that busy.
I think I understand this, but I can’t really be sure:
I figure “compactly” is the inverse of “bigly.” Then again, I have never owned a “computer table”; I do, however, have a stupidly heavy desk. (The heaviness itself is not stupid, unless you’re actually moving the damned thing, which had to be disassembled to get it through the sharp angle at my front door.)
The wondrous world of seemingly random retweeting, which of course it isn’t — nothing on Twitter is truly random — landed a promo for this book in my stream, and while I admit to partaking of the occasional romance novel, by which is meant it’s probably no more than a third of what I read, give or take a percentage point here or there, I think this one might be just a hair beyond my specifications. The story goes like this:
He is every woman’s fantasy. He can have any woman but her. He will do anything just to have her in his bed were she belongs.
She is a widow and has a little girl. She cannot afford to be promiscuous but she is drawn to him like a moth to a flame.
When they come together it is explosive. Sparks don’t just fly it dominates. Can he keep her in his bed or will she run away?
Points for noting that promiscuity has its price, if not necessarily in an obvious currency. But how do we know if it’s truly “decandent,” whatever the heck that means?
[Felix] Domke said he graphed the European emissions testing cycle and overlaid those results with the upper and lower limits of the ECU’s “normal mode” and discovered that the mode aligned perfectly with the limits.
He didn’t test differences in engine performance, nor could he say whether the cheat applied to cars in other countries. But Domke pointed to a parameter in the engine’s code that seemingly always initiated its “alternative” exhaust program: the outside temperature would only need to be suitable for life to exist — above -6,357.9 degrees Fahrenheit (-3,550 degrees Celsius).
This condition is available pretty much anywhere in the universe at any imaginable time. Well feigned, Vee Dub.
Or maybe you get to pick only two words: for instance, you can have popcorn chicken, but not particularly spicy; worse, you could have something spicy and popcorn-sized, but don’t count on it’s being actual chicken.
Domestic terrorist Terry Nichols wants more than a dozen guns seized in the investigation of the Oklahoma City bombing returned.
He says they had nothing to do with the bombing, and he wants his family to have them for the money the weapons are worth.
From his maximum security prison cell in Colorado, Nichols said he wants 13 guns in that currently are in federal custody, including handguns, rifles and a shotgun, to be turned over to one of his two ex-wives or to his sister.
The Feds, of course, disagree:
Federal authorities say the guns should not be released from FBI custody because someone might use them in a copycat crime. Instead, the feds want to destroy the guns and give Nichols credit for their fair market value of $7,000.
Not that the credit would do him or his family much good:
It would go toward the $14.5 million he owes in restitution.
“The driving force behind this transaction is growth. This is an opportunity to create value by combining the distribution and strengths of Marriott and Starwood, enhancing our competitiveness in a quickly evolving marketplace.”
This is pure boardroom-approved corporate-speak, full of syllables and buzzwords, signifying nothing. Yet somehow, “value” is going to be created.
Hint: In corporate mergers, the “value” most often created is the reduction in expense due to reductions in force. Expect rather a lot of people to be kicked to the curb; perhaps they won’t get in the way of valet parking.
Taylor Swift, the woman, has shoulder-length blonde hair and blue eyes and receives gushing letters from fans all over the world. As it turns out, so does Taylor Swift the man.
Taylor Swift the man is a professional photographer who lives in Seattle and every day must move through the world shouldering the burden of sharing a name with a famous pop star. His online identity is pretty much ruined: His photography website won’t be surfacing in Google results anytime soon, and he had to stop using his email address (firstname.lastname@example.org) for obvious reasons. The baristas at Starbucks even make fun of him when he gives them his name!
Nor will “Taylor A. Swift” work: he’s Adam, she’s Alison. And anyway, at thirty, he had the name first. Not that this matters a great deal.
An R&B singer named Jesse Braham, who records as Jesse Graham, claims in the suit, reported by multiple media such as CBS News, the Verge, and New York’s Daily News, that Swift stole lyrics for her hit from one of his songs, “Haters Gonna Hate,” in 2013.
The suit asserts that lyrics of Swift’s chorus (“Cause the players gonna play, play, play, play, play / And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate”) are similar to his lyrics, “Haters gonna hate / players gonna play.”
Plaintiff gonna lose the first time the defense plays this song from 2001:
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