Archive for Say What?

U wot, m8t?

If Australia’s anti-swearing laws are supposed to be protecting children, they’re doing a farking poor job of it:

In some Australian states, people can be spot-fined up to $500, and even spend time in prison, for swearing in public.

Quentin Bryce Law Doctoral Scholar at [University of Technology, Sydney], Elyse Methven, has pointed to research showing children are exposed to swearing at the age of one or two.

She said the evidence swear words were harmful was negligible.

And besides, the kids have already learned all those words — from you, okay? They learned them from you:

“Children around one or two know several swear words, and children of school age have a vocabulary of up to 42 taboo words.”

What’s more, there may be some therapeutic effect:

“There have been studies showing that when people swear, they can get some sort of pain-relief effect from the swearing.”

In which case, I know some people who should be able to smile while a lion gnaws on their extremities.

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A perfect night to dress up

Taylor Swift T.S. 1989 sweatshirtAbout five and a half billion people on this plain granite planet will recognize this sweatshirt as being part of Taylor Swift’s new clothing line, intended to promote her platinum / palladium / unobtainium album 1989, in stores now and not streaming very much. That leaves a billion and a half who might see something different in it:

The date — as well as being Swift’s year of birth — refers to her album and live tour of the same name, which she will perform in Shanghai in November.

But the date — and the initials TS — are particularly sensitive in China, as they signify the Tiananmen Square massacre in 1989, when hundreds of students were killed in pro-democracy protests.

Bad move? Maybe not. Chinese retailer JD.com, which will carry the Swift line, doesn’t seem to have any trouble selling the 1989 CD.

(Via Marginal Revolution.)

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The glucose is clear

I’m not quite sure I understand this promotion:

Actually, that’s only half a gallon, but it still sounds a bit strange.

(Via Dawn Summers.)

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Crisper material

Then again, perhaps not yours or mine:

If you care, this is the Homeland store at 18th and Classen, widely derided as the weakest link in the chain. To me, these so-called “green beans” look like they’ve spent a long time in someone’s ears.

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Meanwhile, 12-year-olds applaud

Regardless of actual age, I might add:

I’m sure this was quite unintentional; WaPo seldom of late has shown any willingness to get to the bottom of things.

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Captain Obvious drops me a line

Fake PayPal email is so common I barely notice the real PayPal email. And if they’re going to use subject lines like this, it’s just as well:

Balance Notification: You have funds in your PayPal account.

Well, duh. That’s what it’s for, you knuckleheads. I assume you’re wanting me to go forth and spend more, but hey, that’s not your call — unless, of course, I don’t have funds.

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Zombie pitcher on the mound

No, wait, he’s not dead, or even undead:

If the Dodgers have figured out the Lazarus Effect, all of baseball is threatened.

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Aw, stick it in your ear

No! Wait! Don’t do that! It says so right on the package…

Of course, any tool can be misused. Using one of these to clean a clogged spritzer from a bottle of Axe Body Spray would be unforgivable.

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Perhaps out of their league

It has come to this. The Mets, otherwise a few ticks over .500, lose to a hockey team?

I suspect high-sticking.

Actually, the Blue Jays beat the Mets 7-1, so I figure some lazy individual at this CBS station just grabbed the first Toronto logo he could find.

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Can this truly be just?

Inquiring minds want to know:

We’ll get a Wiring Justice Warrior right on it.

(Via Nancy Friedman.)

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Well, ****

Just watch your mouth when you’re in Arlington, Virginia, okay?

Uttering some of the more expressive words in the English language will cost you up to $250 if you say them in Arlington, now that county officials have upped their fines on public uses of profanity. The Arlington County Board just approved a measure increasing penalties for public intoxication and blue language from $100 to $250.

Odd that those two offenses should be paired — or maybe not:

Even if Arlington is sacrificing its reputation as an urbanist’s dream community, its leaders have not given up their mission to clean up its residents’ sometimes-naughty antics. The code change adopted during Saturday’s board meeting came after the Arlington Police Department reported making 664 arrests for public inebriation and foul-mouthed talk in 2014.

About 230,000 people live in Arlington’s 26 square miles, and it’s not like they can’t go somewhere else to cuss:

While the District [of Columbia] bans abusive language designed to provoke a physical response from another individual, it does not prohibit casual profanity. Maryland also offers safe harbor to the salty-tongued, except for Rockville, where the city charter reads, “person may not profanely curse and swear or use obscene language upon or near any street, sidewalk or highway within the hearing of persons passing by, upon or along such street, sidewalk or highway.”

Still, for the sake of traffic, let’s hope the [redacted] don’t all go at once.

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Ground control

“My neighborhood,” says Quinn Cummings on Instagram, “virtually defies satire”:

Earthing poster in Los Angeles County

Electrons as antioxidants. I don’t remember that from sophomore chemistry. (I did remember that when stuff is oxidized, it loses electrons, but you can’t just shove electrons back at it.) Maybe these free radicals are freer — or more radical — than usual.

Now I wonder if tinfoil is used.

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Haunted, dead or alive

The problem with sticking to a format:

I guess it’s important to know that Sir Christopher died in real time.

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What’s more, he’s never rained out

If you were ever impressed by mere switch-hitters, this should absolutely astound you:

The uniform design used by the A’s evidently conceals his gills.

(Via Darleen Click.)

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Wonder Woman says hi

Catawba County, North Carolina, is evidently overrun with strong, brave, and perhaps elaborately costumed women:

Front page of the Observer News Enterprise, Newton, NC

Lorde, busy at the tennis court, was not available to talk it up, like, yeah.

(Via Jim Romenesko.)

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In the Not Lozenges aisle

Just in case, y’know:

If there are testimonials to the effectiveness of this product used in such a manner, I’d love to hear them, or at least I would if I were the editor of Penthouse.

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Does whatever a shampoo does

Because if it doesn’t, it’s just a sham, right?

The genuine article is at hand:

Shampooing shampoo by L'Occitane

You think maybe they have conditioning conditioner too?

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Dick comes first

This has been out for a month or so, and I’m surprised I didn’t catch it. In the June issue of Automobile, there’s a drive of the new Porsche Cayman GT4, and buried in the article is this paragraph:

Andreas Preuninger, who as head of Porsche’s GT division led development of the GT4, sums up the message conveyed by his latest brainchild: “To us, it simply is a highly desirable sports car. But don’t let this desirability make you think that every Dick, Tom and Harry can hop in and take it to the limit just like that.”

Huh? Usually Tom gets top billing.

And now it dawns on me why I didn’t notice this before: Preuninger works for Porsche, home of the ass-engined Nazi slot car, and getting things seemingly out of order is what they do best. Twisting around an old English idiom is nothing to these guys.

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Cheesy suspension parts

Perhaps even dangerously cheesy:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: How much deos it to fix a 2004 Nissan queso axle?

Truth be told, I would be surprised if the garage in fact has any cheese at all.

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A winning formula in many sports

Sports broadcasts these days contain all manner of statistics, as though they had any actual predictive value.

Then again, this one apparently does:

I’d say that’s downright indisputable.

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Can I get a witness?

Because this case looks like it’s going to need some help:

It’s a darn shame Clark Kent doesn’t carry a badge.

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Wednesday, Thursday, Friday?

Quoth George Witzke: “Yeah, so the marketing director for this mega church … he’s fired.”

Questionable church banners spelling out WTF

I’m not so sure. This is clearly an inspiration to prayer, given that most people are going to see that and think “Oh, my God!”

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And stripped of his tenure, no doubt

Mr. Pibb was not available for comment, though Wikipedia has a whole category of “Dr Pepper-flavored sodas.”

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Winging it

Subject of a spam received yesterday: “Infinite legroom in a private jet charter.”

Infinite? Even if you’re outside sitting on the wing, it’s still finite. I don’t think you could pull this off even in a TARDIS.

Of the four proffered links, only two go to the alleged vendor: a third link goes to a PDF on whitehouse.gov (!) and the fourth to the Internal Revenue Service. Oddly, those two links are not visible in HTML mode, so I assume they’re provided to sneak past context filters.

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A noticeable warming trend

And after Sunday was so nice, too:

On the next screen, someone scrawls a Q in front of “AccuWeather.”

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No better date than this

I mean, Miss Rhode Island says so:

Then again, it got up to 84 today in Oklahoma City. Decide for yourself if that’s too hot or too cold.

(Scene, of course, from Miss Congeniality.)

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Home of the Whopping

Apparently the magic number is 16 miles per gallon. From the individual vehicle profiles in the Consumer Reports 2015 Auto Issue:

Chevrolet Suburban: “Beyond that, it’s pretty much your tried and true Suburban, with a 5.3-liter V8, six-speed automatic, and fuel economy that improved to a whopping 16 mpg.”

Chevrolet Tahoe: “Beyond that, fuel economy from the 5.3-liter V8 and six-speed automatic, improves to a whopping 16 mpg.”

GMC Yukon/Yukon XL: “Beyond that, fuel economy from the 5.3-liter V8 and six-speed automatic improves to a whopping 16 mpg, but the combination doesn’t feel particularly energetic.”

Beyond that, these trucks are more alike than different, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen CR test a thesaurus.

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Major hotness

I have my doubts about some of this, captured about 10:35 last night:

Screenshot from Weather Underground for Philadelphia

That negative rainfall has got to hurt, especially with 83 feet of it.

(Via John Salmon.)

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Notice to upside-down drivers

The Texas DMV is looking out for your right not to be offended:

The Texas Department of Motor Vehicles is revoking the personalized license plate issued to a Houston man, because it has now been deemed offensive.

“I had it for more than three years without any problem,” Safer Hassan said.

Hassan recently received an official letter from the state that said his Texas plate, “370H55V,” would be canceled within 30 days.

Believe me, Texas takes inversions of this sort very, very seriously.

(Via Fark.)

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I beg your padron

Rather a lot of would-be jesters have been making this joke for some time now, but it took the deadly serious British Broadcasting Corporation to make it stand up:

BBC News: Large Hardon Collider

This is the first time the machine has been restarted since 2013, the sort of situation which you hope is not immediately followed by “That’s what she said.”

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