This goes without saying:
The worst name for a hospice pic.twitter.com/rhfLs15FyH
— Matt Dawson (@SaintRPh) June 19, 2013
Just the same, it was said.
This goes without saying:
The worst name for a hospice pic.twitter.com/rhfLs15FyH
— Matt Dawson (@SaintRPh) June 19, 2013
Just the same, it was said.
Now I realize that Allstate is advertising on Equestria Daily, not to reach ponies, but to reach the human fans of ponies, who, unlike ponies themselves, are likely to have actual hands. Still, seeing this at the top of the EqD sidebar ad block made me emit very silly giggles.
And since ponies presumably do things that might require insurance — well, I wouldn’t expect much of a change should Allstate decide to set up shop some day in beautiful downtown Canterlot. From my short-short (2000 words) story Dead Pony Flying, the one and only Rainbow Dash tells of anointing her successor:
At least the Element of Loyalty is in good hooves. I’ll never forget Scootaloo’s face when they told her. “It’s the happiest day of my life,” she said. And then she looked at me and said “Oops.”
And “you’re in good hooves” produces enough Googlage to tell me that this would work as an Equestrian advertising slogan.
That’s the plan, anyway:
(Via Criggo.com, home of many arcane clippings.)
I’m just going to assume the poster of the original sign wasn’t Jewish.
Whatever “maintance” is, apparently you get two years’ worth on your new Impala.
Actual Nissan ad from Fark.com, screencapped on Sunday, 2 June 2013 at just after 11 pm:
Hope they can unload some of these before the ’14s start showing up.
Councillors in Richmond Hill, Leeds have decided that your street address cannot be 4 anything:
The Chinese word for death sounds similar to the number 4. This has led to superstitions surrounding that digit (known as tetraphobia). In China, for example, floor numbers often skip the number 4.
Under Richmond Hill’s street-naming and address guide, the number 13 — which some consider unlucky — is currently not used for street numbers and Ward 1 Councillor Greg Beros, who presented Monday night’s [13 May] motion, thinks similar steps should be taken for the number 4.
The vote of the Council was five to, um, four. Fortunately, all other problems in Richmond Hill have been solved.
(Via this @syaffolee tweet.)
Not so deft, guys:
Due to @nytimes “editing errors…this article [earlier] misstated the group’s name…. It is Daft Punk, not Daft Puck or Daft Pink.”
— Jonathan Padget (@dcjpad) May 30, 2013
(Thanks to Twitchy.)
Tuesday, science writer Jennifer Ouellette tweeted thusly:
— Jennifer Ouellette (@JenLucPiquant) May 21, 2013
I sent up a response: “She was quite lovely — and downright brilliant. I pity those who believe someone can’t be both.”
The next day, this vision was visited upon us, or upon some of us anyway:
Meet Laura Fernee, a 33-year-old academic who claims she was hounded out of her work because of her beauty.
Fernee, who has a PhD and worked as a scientific researcher, has been unemployed for two years and now lives with her parents, who very kindly pay for her flat, shopping and expenses — to the tune of £2,000 a month.
The Daily Mail, always cattier than thou, notes that her research job paid only £30,000 a year, presumably taxable. And this quote seems a tad disingenuous:
She said men left “romantic gifts” on her desk and she was “constantly asked out”, which she found “sleazy”.
“Even when I was in a laboratory in scrubs with no make-up they still came on to me because of my natural attractiveness.”
You know, somebody ought to do some research into this sort of thing. Can’t be Hedy, because she’s dead; can’t be Laura, because she’s writing a book about how horrible it is to be gorgeous. What’s Samantha Brick doing these days?
When Ruth Levy went online to create a personalised birthday card for a 90-year-old friend called Dick, it turned out his common name of yesteryear has been banned as a modern profanity.
After typing in her message to her friend of 50 years, 77-year-old Mrs Levy was turned down and warned by the Marks & Spencer website against using bad language.
Horrified, the tech-savvy grandmother closely checked the e-card for typing slip-ups, but still could not get approval for: “Many happy returns on your significant birthday.”
But after complaining to the store, she was told her card had been banned simply because her friend’s name was Dick — the shortened version of Richard.
Marks & Sparks were total farks: they suggested Mrs Levy call poor Dick instead — on the phone, fercrissake — and insisted: “We must ensure [our] system is robust to protect our content standards.”
(Another newspaper oddity from the vast archives of Criggo.com.)
If you think the weather here has been weird — and let’s face it, if you don’t, you haven’t been paying attention — it’s been equally so elsewhere. This is what was going down in the 417:
The Ozarks broke a record today in measurable snowfall. According to John Gagan, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Springfield, the last time the Springfield-area saw measurable snowfall this late in the spring season was May 2, 1929.
But that’s not the only record expected to be broken today.
The last time there was even a trace of snow in May — meaning flurries, but no accumulation — was May 6, 1944.
The temperature will also be significant. Currently, the record low for the coldest day in May was May 4, 1935 at 43 degrees.
Actually, a trace of snow does not necessarily mean flurries, but that’s not the problem here. This is:
One must infer, then, that on May 6, 1944, and on May 2, 1929, it snowed when the temperature was 44 degrees or warmer, must one not? If May 4, 1935, was the coldest low temperature on record, then these other recorded days must have had higher low temperatures, ainna?
Just to clear this up: The record low for the coldest day in May was 29 degrees, on May 6, 1944. What happened on May 4, 1935 was the lowest high temperature ever reported for any day in May, which was 43 degrees. (May 3, 2013 will break that record; the high that day was apparently 36.) The meteorologist at NWS Springfield knew this, or could get the data quickly enough — it didn’t take me too awfully long to find it, and my weather-geek credentials are just a hair above marginal — so I conclude that this was just another case of Gannett wetting their nest.
You should definitely read this story of Robert Stacy McCain’s, since it’s an incisive look at one example of one of the weirder phenomena of recent times: the imaginary hate crime, invented for inexplicable political reasons. And you should also read it because it’s staggeringly popular, according to Disqus:
I figure, if this guy can get over a billion reactions to a single story, the very least you can do is hit his freaking tip jar.
Oh come on, Fox twitter.com/peterogburn/st…
— Peter Ogburn (@peterogburn) April 20, 2013
You guys at the Oklahoman are officially forgiven for this.
Addendum: Zooey Deschanel has in fact seen that.
Further addendum: The captioning service has apologized to ZD.
Do you realize — that this howler actually appeared in the Oklahoman’s “Weekend” section today?
Then again, maybe it’s no big deal. I started typing FALMING into the Google search box, and before I finished the word they’d already suggested the correct name of the band. At the top of the suggestions, no less.
On the other hand, it took me three tries to come up with a working link to the online version of the album review. (This seems to work for now.) I hate to say that this is a common occurrence for the paper, but I’m not the only one who’s noticed this sort of thing.
Bankrupt battery maker A123 Systems, last seen rushing into the arms of Chinese conglomerate Wanxiang Group, has announced a name change — to “B456.” Yes, really:
As part of A123′s bankruptcy proceedings dating to last October, it was required to change its name in order to be purchased by Chinese company Wanxiang. According to the Detroit Free Press, as part of a March 22, 2013 filing with the US Securities and Exchange Commission, A123 declared that its new name is B456.
Oh, it gets better:
We’re not sure if anyone at A123 realized the irony — B456 is also the model number for a fire extinguisher made by Amerex that happens to be good for “energized electrical equipment.”
“They’re always changing corporation names,” Grace Slick observes.
This explains the circle on the Target logo: it’s the ninth.
This is a pitch for Rego, an app for saving locations:
“Rego’s private. Nobody sees what you add to Rego. But sometimes you’ll want to share a place with a friend — or even the whole world — and Rego makes that easy.”
Which is not particularly scintillating, until you discover that “Rego” is some sort of Brazilian slang for “butt crack” — which developer Matt Henderson didn’t, until he started wondering why sales in Brazil were so brisk.
If you ask me, he needn’t have worried. “Rego,” after all, is Latin for “I rule,” and Henderson’s good-natured acknowledgement of the issue demonstrates that he indeed rules.
(Via this Nancy Friedman tweet.)
For years I’ve been griping about the term “meteoric rise,” usually while noting that meteors, when we see them, aren’t rising at all: generally, they’re plummeting.
I made the mistake of dropping that bit of shtick on the lovely and talented Tabitha St. Germain, and was paid back thusly by a third party:
I was, of course, aghast. It occurred to me to suggest that as a general rule, there wasn’t much vertical propulsion involved with that particular condition, but at that point, I was already doing some plummeting of my own.
If you speak two languages fluently, in which do you cuss? There’s a study about that:
I investigated language preferences for swearing among multilinguals using an on-line questionnaire. They consisted of 386 adult multilinguals who had declared that they were maximally proficient in their first and second languages and used both languages constantly.
I discovered that despite similar levels of self-perceived proficiency and frequency of use in the first language and second language, the first language was used significantly more for swearing and first language swearwords were perceived to have a stronger emotional resonance. An analysis of additional interview data confirmed the findings of the quantitative analysis, also highlighting cultural issues in swearing.
The working title of the paper was Language preferences for swearing among maximally proficient multilinguals, which may be considered acceptably bland. Why did our researcher change it?
I heard an Anglo-Canadian author, Nancy Huston, who has lived in Paris for many years, being interviewed on France Inter about her swearing behaviour. She explained that when she needs to express a strong emotion, like sudden anxiety, or when dropping a hammer on her foot, she swears in English.
Well, partially. And that particular cuss is now incorporated into the title, which won some sort of award for “most obscene title of a peer-reviewed scientific article.”
[Cite: Sociolinguistic Studies, 4 (3), 595-614. (doi : 10.1558/sols.v4i3.595)]
Though the “permanent” you might not actually want:
It is a measure of my own level of dementia, I suppose, that my first thought was “Migod, and people want to buy cars off this site?”
(Via Jeff Thompson on Facebook.)
A Finnish anti-piracy group has copied the design of The Pirate Bay website for their latest anti-piracy campaign. The Pirate Bay is outraged by this move and says it will sue the group for breaking their site policy, which clearly states that organizations are not permitted to steal the site design for nefarious purposes. “People must understand what is right and wrong,” The Pirate Bay says.
So the people aiding copyright “infringement” want it enforced for their “intellectual property”, and the people allegedly enforcing copyrights are violating it as well as, it appears, other laws.
Think of it as a pair of conjoined twins, picking each other’s pocket.
Once in a while, one of those pesky “e-cards” that clutter up Facebook elicits a small chuckle from this quarter. This one, though, has definite neologism, or at least euphemism, potential:
(Found at Kat’s Kozy Korner.)
Stay for the freshness, especially the pineapple:
Sparkle Markets operate in Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Virginia.
(Found at Criggo.com, which has lots of similarly inexplicable newspaper clippings.)
Something called “City News,” put out by the Public Information and Marketing Office, is sent with the local utility bill each month, to keep us humble citizens aware of what’s going on without delving too deeply into City Hall intrigues and whatnot.
A headline this month reads “Outdoor watering program implemented,” and in the context of “City News,” which is routinely loaded with new programs and beautification schemes, you’d be forgiven for thinking that the city had come up with a new plan to help poorer people keep their yards up or something. (Imagine what P. J. O’Rourke would have said about that.) But no, it’s a recap of the watering-restriction rules enacted in mid-January after the city noticed that rainfall has run about a third below normal the last two years.
I’m waiting for someone to protest that the odd/even system is inherently unfair, since there are more odd days than even. (Between March 30 and April 2, for instance, there are two consecutive odd days.) And the sort of person who objects to it is likely not going to accept the most rational response: “Move across the street.”
Disclosure: My block has nine even addresses and four odd.
Because it is part of my job to know, I will eventually put away my disgust long enough to internalize the ridiculous new naming convention employed by the not-really-autonomous luxury arm of Nissan. What I know offhand is this: the G37 successor will be called the Q50. This arrant stupidity is roughly equivalent to Rolls-Royce introducing a new small car and calling it the Phantom Eight. Or calling the new Acura ILX the Legend Plus Five. Or calling the swoopy 2014 Lexus IS the Lexus LS510hL. I could go on, and I encourage you to do so when you are wasting time with your work buddies at lunch (“Hey! I’ve got one! The new Mercedes CLA coulda been the S650!”) but you get the idea. The just-unveiled Infiniti Q-ship system has the previously unknown-to-science ability to make the utter marketing dolts at Lincoln and Cadillac look like geniuses just for not calling the MKZ and ATS the Continental Mark XIV and Fleetwood Talisman Brougham Eldorado, respectively.
And counter-threaded pot-metal dolts at that.
But what’s worse than a whole line of Q? A whole line of QX:
[T]he trucks all take a nomenclature cue from the QX56, a vehicle so unspeakably crass it depresses the space-time curve around it for kilometers and causes cordovan Alden penny loafers to spontaneously evolve into Chinese-sewn Kenneth Cole white-trash square-toe monstrosities as all notions of human decency are shattered beyond hope or recognition in its lumbering, cetacean wake.
All this and they still don’t have a proper follow-on product for the original Q45. I’m aware that 85 percent or so of automotive marketing consists of ripping off the competition; what I can’t fathom is why Nissan thinks the competition is Lincoln, which still doesn’t have a proper follow-on product for either the Continental or the Town Car.
Just a little, tiny traction boost, they say, and then suddenly you’re in the middle of an international incident.
Why don’t you come with me, little girl, on a magic carpet ride?
(Several hundred Facebook shares on this already.)
Entertainment Weekly (#1242, 1/28/13) has a list of “25 Songs To Download Before Grammy Night,” and at #20 is “Cherry Wine,” by Nas, featuring Amy Winehouse. They note that “longtime fan Winehouse recorded her vocal a few years before her death.”
Can you imagine the outcry if she’d recorded it after her death?
Pay the $35 fee, and you can have anything you want, within reason, on your Georgia license plates. The obvious question: “Whose reason?”
The state has rejected thousands of vanity license plates with such themes to protect the public from offensive language. Most are too vulgar to print. Some are just silly: BIGBRA, ER0TIKA, F0XIE1.
But buried amid that list of licentiousness are religious, philosophical and political expressions the state also has deemed unsuitable to appear on motor vehicles. G0DROKS, G0DWH0, ILUVGUNS, GAYPWR and FEMM have been nixed by State Department of Revenue employees, who have wide latitude and only vague statutory guidance in deciding what speech gets squashed. Yet G0D4EVR, GUNLUV, GAYGAY and FEMFTAL got their nod.
Vicki Lambert, who’s in charge of such things, sees the problem this way:
Lambert understands Georgia residents have a right to free speech. Her job, she noted, is to balance that against not subjecting other people to a disgusting license plate while sitting in traffic on Interstate 75.
Well, there’s your problem: traffic is just sitting on I-75. Get it moving, and there will be no time to worry about other people’s bad taste in plates.
Netflix just can’t seem to grasp this series:
At least they didn’t bring Clint Eastwood into it this time. I assume Bill is laughing.
(Via My Little Brony.)