Archive for Stemware

The Commissioner never noticed

If you grew up at exactly the right moment, you may remember Marta, a slave girl who comes to a rather scary end on a last-season episode of Star Trek:

Yvonne Craig as Marta

Of course, she was just as alluring in black and white as she was in green:

Yvonne Craig takes aim

Yvonne Craig takes a seat

Now think purple with yellow trim:

Yvonne Craig, dancer turned actress, had all the right moves in many a good show, and then retired to make a fortune in real estate, and a few bucks as an author (her 2000 autobiography From Ballet to the Batcave and Beyond). And yes, Batgirl was Commissioner Gordon’s daughter, though apparently he never figured it out. Then again, neither did Bruce Wayne.

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First you have to get their attention

This is as true of selling romance novels as it is of trying to vend latex paint or breakfast cereal. All I can say is that this piece, unsurprisingly, got my attention:

Advertisement for To Win Her Love by Mackenzie Crowne

“May I see a proper blurb, please?” Of course you may:

When a bizarre child custody stipulation pits popular sports blogger Gracie Gable against football superstar Jake Malone, losing the battle for her twin nieces isn’t the only thing Gracie has to worry about. Forced to live for three months under the same roof as the sexy tight end, will she fall prey to his flirtatious pursuit? Or worse, will the skeletons in her closet destroy her chance for the love and family she so desperately wants?

Neglected by his parents as a boy, Jake doesn’t believe in happily ever after. Yet living with Gracie and the twins might be enough to change his mind — and his womanizing ways. But when the press unearths a scandal from Gracie’s past, will he lose the one woman he was ready to open his heart to?

Two more books in the series; two more seemingly doomed couples, together at last. This is how it’s done, I suppose.

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Sister of many brothers

Marie Osmond turned 58 Friday. Most of you already know the demographic — the only girl among eight boys — and well, in terms of Overall Instant Recognition, she’s either first or second, depending on how much attention you paid to brother Donny. Of course, the whole brood was cute, but Marie (that’s her middle name: first name was Olive) had that whole Only Girl thing going for her, and still does.

Marie Osmond at the 2015 Daytime Emmys

Marie Osmond showing a bit of cleavage

Marie Osmond on USA Weekend

She did have a musical career separate from the boys, starting with one good-sized hit (the old standard, “Paper Roses,” which hit #5 pop and #1 country in 1973). Things sort of tailed off after that; her 1974 album This Is the Way I Feel, her fourth, was poppier, and while there were two songs written by the older Osmond brothers, there was also this one, written by the brothers Gibb:

Marie’s most recent album was Music Is Medicine (2016), which barely crept into the Billboard 200 but did make it to #10 on the country chart. This slightly goofy video for the title track includes kids from the Children’s Miracle Network hospitals:

Oh, before you ask: Brother Donny turns 60 in December.

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Somewhat disorienting

In 1981, this advertisement had no Hidden Subtext whatsoever:

Advertisement for L'eggs Sheer Elegance

Today, we’d hear from the spiritual heirs of Edward Said. (Said himself died in 2003.) And what we would hear is something like this:

Said claimed that “the Orient” was a European invention to denote East Asia as a place of exoticism, romance, and remarkable experiences and also as a concept to contrast against Western civilization.

The effects of orientalism in Western cultures includes the “othering” of East Asians and East Asian Americans; their cultures and lifestyles perceived as “exotic,”, in stark contrast to “ordinary” Western customs.

Now you might think exoticism and romance and remarkable experiences would be Good Things. But no: we have Othered these people. They are not One Of Us.

But God (that Western fellow) help us if we treat them like One Of Us:

Elected officials and community activists are lashing out at the makers of a video game that features a Chinese cook hunting for cats and dogs in a back alley, an immigration officer coming to deport employees, and a tax collector looking for cash hidden under the mattress.

It’s all part of a simulation game called Dirty Chinese Restaurant, created by Big-O-Tree Games, a company based in Ontario, Canada.

Of course, if you deleted all the unspeakable ethnic references, you’d be accused of meaning to speak them anyway. So we will note that the person pictured above is presenting as female and probably does not come from New Jersey, and leave it at that.

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Shayk well

So an old friend of this blog put up a picture from days gone by on Facebook which, among other things, reminded me of a comment she’d made a long time ago, about her “one good feature.” I remembered that said feature was very, very good indeed, and with my brain thoroughly befogged, typed the following phrase into the Google Image search box: “nicest legs on the planet.”

Result the first:

Irina Shayk in a black dress

You’re looking at Irina Valeryevna Shaykhlislamova, known the world over as Irina Shayk, born in the winter of 1986 in the town of Yemanzhelinsk, near the border with Kazakhstan. Her father, a coal miner, died when she was 14; with her mother working two jobs, she joined her older sister to study at a nearby beauty school. She won Miss Chelyabinsk 2004, and decided that maybe this modeling stuff might work out.

Irina Shayk in a yellow dress

Irina Shayk with an old friend

Irina Shayk in the middle of a wardrobe malfunction

She has one film credit to her name: as Megara, oldest daughter of Creon, king of Thebes, in Hercules (2004) opposite Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

And here, Craig Ferguson doing what Craig Ferguson does in the presence of pretty ladies:

I’d like to think that he remembers how to pronounce “Shaykhlislamova.”

As for the old friend, she still looks pretty good, but she’ll tell you she’s not in this league.

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Think Twice

“Twice” is an unusual K-pop girl group; three of the nine members are in fact Japanese. This past year, they’ve been serving as brand ambassadors, or whatever, for the legendary Far Eastern sports drink Pocari Sweat.

As far as US Wikipedia is concerned, only one member of Twice is notable enough to rate a separate article: Chou Tzu-yu. Tzuyu was born on Taiwan, and her appearance (at sixteen) on a Korean variety show, holding the flag of the Republic of China, caused some grief on the mainland, which continues to argue there is only one China, and Taiwan is only a small part of it.

Tzuyu with ROC and South Korean flags

After about 60 days of turmoil, Tzuyu read an apology on television; it’s not clear how much effect the incident might have had on the 2016 Taiwan general election.

Tzuyu in a Twice concert poster

Tzuyu on stage

Tzuyu looking girly

I admit to not entirely comprehending “Signal,” the title track to Twice’s 2017 EP.

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Beer has that effect on me

From about 18 months ago:

The very first time I heard the name “Madison Beer,” I assumed it was some cheesehead lager, rented only by people who thought Pabst Blue Ribbon was too exotic. This is, of course, right up there with the story of Ariana Grande being the name of a font.

Anyway, Madison Beer is a singer, seventeen years old as of this month; she has a career because for several years she was singing cover versions on YouTube, and apparently Justin Bieber, always on the lookout for younger women, was sufficiently fond of her take on Etta James’ “At Last.” This eventually got her a record deal and a few singles, though no Hot 100 hits as yet.

A year and a half later, some of the puzzle pieces fit. She’s released five singles, none of which have charted. What I heard last year as the instrumental track from “Out Loud,” which hasn’t been released at all, turns out to be the instrumental track from “Melodies,” her 2013 debut.

And since she was Very Young then, we’ll do some more recent photos.

Madison Beer at the Grammys

Madison Beer at the car wash

Madison Beer on Los Angeles television

Her most recent single is “Dead,” which sounds like something SZA would do.

If SZA were an Ashkenazi Jew who drives a Range Rover, anyway.

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Balls to the wall

“Pourquoi sont-ils vendus dans ces petites boules?” Why are they sold in these little balls?

I’m guessing this was the French response to L’eggs, circa 1970:

Scandale hosiery advertisement, 1970ish

Scandale is still active today, though they’re not currently selling hosiery packaged in spheroids:

In 1932, Scandale’s founder Robert Perrier was manufacturing corsetry and hosiery in a small factory in France when, inspired by the new fabric introduced to him by a visiting salesman, he replaced the traditional laced-up restrictions of the day and created a girdle that was so delicate and so light to the touch that when his assistant saw it she exclaimed “C’est un scandale!” (It’s a scandal!)

Combining elegant, timeless French beauty with the sophistication and knowledge of its creator and his company, Scandale has a rich heritage that few can match. As the fashions evolved from the 1930s to the modern day, Scandale continued to meet the needs and desires of women, for the last 80 years bringing modernity and innovation to each new decade.

Come to think of it, L’eggs switched to a cardboard package in the 1990s.

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She’s alive!

Today we celebrate the forty-seventh birthday of Sheri Moon Zombie, which technically, I suppose, is her real name; she’s been legally Sheri Moon since she got her start in showbiz, hired by Rob Zombie as a dancer and choreographer for his first solo tour after the breakup of White Zombie. They dated for several years; their fifteenth wedding anniversary is coming up on — wait for it — the 31st of October.

Sheri Moon Zombie at the premiere of Halloween II, 2009

Sheri Moon Zombie out of costume, mostly

Sheri Moon Zombie in 31, 2016

31, incidentally, is the title of a 2016 film directed by Rob and starring Sheri; it was intense enough to draw an NC-17 rating, but was cut just enough to sneak in with an R. The third photo above was a still from 31.

From 1999, here’s Rob Zombie’s video for “Living Dead Girl,” featuring Sheri, who doesn’t actually show up until halfway through.

Outside the Zombie film fold, she designed a clothing line called Total Skull, and appeared in Tobe Hooper’s Toolbox Murders.

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Tidy Heidi

Actually, I have no idea how tidy Heidi El Tabakh really is, but professional tennis players tend not to be slobs. (Okay, some of the guys … but never mind about them.) Heidi was born in Alexandria, Egypt this week 31 years ago, and moved to Canada circa 2005. The year before that, she played in a doubles tournament in Edmond, Oklahoma, just up the Broadway Distention; she and Anne Mall, from Ireland, defeated Carine Vermuelen and Kelly Anderson of South Africa, 3–6, 6–3, 6–4.

Heidi El Kabakh waits for it

Heidi El Kabakh takes a break for it

Heidi El Kabakh prepares to serve

In April 2016, she put her career on hiatus due to recurrent injuries; her WTA singles rating had dropped from #142 to below #1000. She’s still going to kick your behind at table tennis, though:

And a fan from Canada reports:

… the latest rumors suggest that El Tabakh has moved or is about to make the move into coaching.

She’s definitely too young to stay retired.

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Kamalamadingdong

JD Rucker said this last fall:

But if not Clooney, then who? How about Senator Kamala Harris (D-CA)?

Assuming Clooney doesn’t run, the more likely and mainstream choice of Senator Kamala Harris is poised to be the nominee. She’ll win California if she’s even a blip on the radar. Her opponents would have to eliminate her from contention altogether for her to lose this state where she is extremely popular.

Unfortunately for other hopefuls, the only way to eliminate her from contention will likely be through scandal because if California’s current plan passes, she’ll only have to go through Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina, and Nevada. The state is pushing to move their primary to early March, making it the kingmaker it has always wanted to be.

As Politico points out, her opponents would be hard-pressed to mount the fundraising efforts necessary to blitz the most populous state in the nation with enough juice to derail her. That’s not going to happen unless Mark Cuban or some other self-funded billionaire enters the race. Harris will be the Democratic nominee and the DNC will wholeheartedly embrace her as the Trump-slayer.

And for those benighted jokers who make their selection on the basis of eye candy, she’s a cinch:

Kamala Harris has something to say

Kamala Harris has something to say

For those more obsessive than I:

And hey, if George Clooney does win, the First Lady will suddenly be vaulted into Jackie Kennedy territory. We’ve looked at her once.

Okay, more than once.

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Ketevan

Yes, Ketevan:

Cover art for Ketevan by Katie Melua

As it turns out, Katie Melua’s birth name was “Ketevan,” a perfectly reasonable name for a female of Georgian descent, and I don’t mean Macon. The last time she hit these pages, a couple of years ago, was due to a small controversy regarding her enormous hit “Nine Million Bicycles.” We’re bringing her back because it’s her birthday. (She’s thirty-three.)

Katie Melua joins the discussion

Katie Melua is all kinetic

Katie Melua on the couch

Ketevan, the album, came out in 2013; instead of the usual music video, the lead single, “I Will Be There,” written by her then-producer Mike Batt, came out with this full concert version.

Speaking of concerts — well, you must see this 2004 live set. She doesn’t come in until about 3:15, and this is arguably the most eccentric version of the Screamin’ Jay Hawkins original:

(That’s Mike Batt on the piano; I suspect that he came up with this arrangement.)

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As real as it may seem

People who have known me for a quarter-century or so tend not to forget the things I’ve said and done. The substitute receptionist — not the usual one, mind you, but the substitute — hailed me as I passed the desk with “You did know Debbie Gibson was on Dancing with the Stars, didn’t you?” Well, of course; as a Debhead of long standing, I have to keep up with these developments. The teen queen is now forty-seven? Well, of course; these things happen.

Debbie Gibson for Hallmark

Debbie Gibson in a swimsuit

Debbie Gibson up against the wall

And this is where it started, way back in 1986:

Deb’s partner on DWTS is Alan Bersten, a four-year veteran who was promoted to Professional this season.

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A true TV sex symbol

It must be true; Rosa Blasi was on a team called “TV Sex Symbols” for the 2017 revival of Battle of the Network Stars, at the tender age of, um, forty-three. Of course, she’s been all over the small screen: first seen on the CBS soap The Bold and the Beautiful, she landed herself a long-term gig (seven seasons) on Lifetime’s Strong Medicine as a doctor running a free clinic on the wrong side of town.

Doctor Lu’s polar opposite, perhaps, is Barb Thunderman on the only-just-wrapped Nickelodeon sitcom The Thundermans, about a family with super-ish powers living unnoticed in a quiet suburb. (Of course, if all suburbs are quiet, none of them are.)

Rosa Blasi on the red carpet

Rosa Blasi stretches out

Rosa Blasi at the 2016 Teen Choice Awards

Rosa Blasi with a copy of her book

The book she’s holding in that bottom photo is her comic memoir Jock Itch: The Misadventures of a Retired Jersey Chaser (2011), which possibly may contain a reference to her first husband, New York Giants fullback Jim Finn; they had split in 2008.

Barb Thunderman’s maiden name, should you be curious, is “McBooger.”

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It’s Janet

Ms. Mock if you’re nasty. Having no desire to appear nasty, I’m setting up this pictorial with Things I Did Not Know About Janet Mock:

  • I knew she had her Master’s in journalism, but what came before that? A Bachelor of Arts in Fashion Merchandising (!) from the University of Hawaii at Manoa. She was, after all, born in Hawaii, and spent most of her childhood there.
  • She’s done some special-assignment reporting for Entertainment Tonight.
  • For a while — let’s say, 24 hours — she didn’t get on particularly well with Piers Morgan.
  • And she was, for a time, an intern for Playboy:

She did suggest that her relatively high eye-candy content might helped her land that job at Hefnerville, which I don’t find the least bit surprising.

Janet Mock sitting on the stoop

Janet Mock has better things to do than row

Janet Mock didn't spend a lot for this set

Janet Mock on the red carpet

I think the more wayward her hair is, the better it looks. Not that she’s taking advice from the likes of me.

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This is an ex-model

Really. Wikipedia’s entry for Frederique van der Wal describes her as a “former model.” And since she turns fifty tomorrow, she’s probably at least somewhat relieved to be off the treadmill.

Frederique van der Wal wants you to try these on

Frederique van der Wal in the obligatory swimsuit shot

Frederique van der Wal at rest

And the obligatory Save the Something or Other appearance:

Further goodies await at Frederique.com. Really.

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Bond. Lilian Bond.

The billing seemed to vary from time to time, depending on how many L’s you think are in her first name, but Lilian Bond spelled it that way. Born in London in 1908, she did stage and panto work before coming to the States in the late 1920s. Her career took off in the early Thirties, perhaps peaking in 1940 with The Westerner, in which she played English actress Lily Langtry, object of a crush by Judge Roy Bean (Walter Brennan). Things tapered off quickly thereafter: by 1946’s The Jolson Story she was reduced to uncredited status, and in 1958, after a so-so period of TV appearances, she retired.

Lilian Bond works that 1930s look

Lilian Bond stretches out

Lilian Bond with George Raft

The chap in that last shot is George Raft, who starred with Sylvia Sidney in Pick-Up, a pre-Code thriller from 1933. In this clip, Bond and Sidney are having a few words, and you’ll be forgiven if you think she comes off like Jane Leeves:

Her IMDb bio contains the following throwaway line:

A beauty in her time, [she was] once photographed in the nude by Alfred Cheney Johnston.

Absolutely true.

Lilian Bond died in 1991 at the age of eighty-three.

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With a natural glow

Last week, our piece on British actress Dorothy Mackaill featured this clip from the 1931 drama Safe in Hell:

You probably spotted Mackaill at left in that frame. But who’s the beauty in the center?

Nina Mae McKinney has the moves

Nina Mae McKinney in high style

Nina Mae McKinney by the piano

Nina Mae McKinney (1912-1967) was a decidedly distinctive American actress, born in small-town South Carolina and hailed in Europe as “The Black Garbo,” which is high praise indeed. At home, she wasn’t quite so highly celebrated, for reasons mostly having to do with Jim Crow and his descendants, but she was respected for her work, and in that Safe in Hell clip she didn’t do that bogus ethnic Stephanie Fetchit voice that marred so many pictures with African-American women, which by all accounts was fine with director William A. Weilman.

Nina Mae decided to get out of Europe after the Third Reich strode into Poland, and while she did find work, it was mostly in B pictures; after the war, she moved to Greece.

And we must mention Hallelujah! Released in 1929, it was that rarest of motion-picture phenomena: a film with an all-black cast, a standard rather than substandard budget, the backing of a major studio — MGM, no less — and a name-brand director: King Vidor. Of course, Metro, concerned about the money, insisted on a slightly scurrilous and decidedly stereotypical story. But Vidor kept sneaking reality into the film, and it became a sizable hit; Vidor was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Director. Nina Mae’s character, a sharecropper turned Loose Woman, wasn’t any sort of role model, but oh, how she could dance!

Irving Berlin, the whitest songwriter of them all — see, for instance, the Drifters’ version of “White Christmas” — came up with “Swanee Shuffle,” and Curtis Mosby’s real-life band plays in this legendary dancehall scene.

And if you did the math and figured that Nina Mae was only sixteen at the time — well, forget it. It’s just math.

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One hundred thirty-six

So I was restructuring my photo archive, and I got to wondering: “Geez, just how many pictures of Rebecca Black do I have?”

This, I think, gives her third place, trailing Taylor Swift (412) and Zooey Deschanel (628). It’s a distant third, but still: third. And she’s only 20. An opportunity, I figure, for a Rule 5 post.

Rebecca Black outside the Grammy Museum

Rebecca Black has lunch, sort of

Rebecca Black keeps her balance

Rumor has it that the long-awaited EP will drop on 15 September; at least one Major Fan is running a countdown.

For the heck of it, here’s a Just Stuff video from summer 2016:

She’s very nineteen in these scenes.

And this went up today:

It’s happening. (I think.)

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Eventually she spoke

Hull, Yorkshire, 1914. Dorothy Mackaill was eleven years old, and her parents were going their separate ways. After living with her dad, she took off for London and the stage, but somehow ended up in the Ziegfield Follies.

By 1920, she was seventeen and ready for “real” roles. It wasn’t long before she because a capital-S Star, and made a relatively smooth transition to talkies before giving it all up in 1937 to take care of her aged mother.

Dorothy Mackaill parties hearty

Dorothy Mackaill in Safe in Hell

Dorothy Mackaill in Safe in Hell

Dorothy Mackaill checks herself out

The two middle shots come from 1931’s Safe in Hell, a perhaps-raunchy pre-Code thriller in which Mackaill stars as a New Orleans hooker who is smuggled to a Caribbean island. A clip therefrom:

Let’s just say it doesn’t end well for the young lady.

In the Fifties, she moved to Hawaii, and remained there for the rest of her life, surfacing occasionally in the Hawaii Five-O television series.

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Which one is the centaur?

And would you please give her my number?

Three women with eight legs among them

(Via Bored Panda.)

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Now that we’ve seen Paris

Originally, the plan was for Paris Berelc to be a gymnast. And she was a darn good one, too:

But after a stint at Ford Models, showbiz beckoned, and she wound up in the Disney Channel stable of terminally cute teenagers, playing the same character in 44 episodes of Mighty Med and then 16 in Lab Rats: Elite Force. In between, she was mostly not seen in Disney’s Invisible Sister. Next year she’ll be in a Netflix original series, Alexa & Katie.

Paris Berelc takes a walk

Paris Berelc takes a sip

Paris Berelc for Variety

The text on that black top: DON’T TEXT HIM BACK. Probably not a bad idea at that.

Between Christmas and New Year’s, she’ll turn 19.

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Working up a Szwed

It being 8/8, I figured I’d look for someone born on this date, and I wound up with Polish singer/actress Aleksandra Szwed, who turns twenty-seven today. She was born in Warsaw, but a significant branch of her family tree runs through Nigeria, a combination I’ve literally never seen before, and that closed the deal right there.

Aleksandra Szwed on the cover of Shape

Aleksandra Szwed rocks a tank

Aleksandra Szwed on the red carpet

I think I like the close-cropped ‘do.

Szwed appeared on the TV series Rodzina zastępcza (“Foster Family”) for the entirety of its eleven-year run. She’s also made a few records, none quite as insane as this one: “Powiedz, że nie kochasz” (“Say you do not love”):

Though you may already know this one in its original language: German.

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A land of fevered mystery

Screenshot from South Korean television:

Korean television program concerning Kenneth Bae

Marina Mangiaracina, who unsuccessfully ran for City Council some months back, is now in Korea, and she explains this picture, sort of:

This Korean TV show has to blur out this woman’s inner thighs every time they do a closeup on Kenneth Bae… Lack of foresight? Prudish? I don’t even…

Bae, a Christian evangelist, was convicted by North Korea of trying to overthrow the Pyongyang regime; in 2013 he was sentenced to 15 years at hard labor. Dennis Rodman (!) went to North Korea the next year to seek Bae’s release; several months passed, and then Bae was indeed set free. As far as Bae is concerned, Rodman was responsible for springing him.

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Geenu

It’s the 30th birthday of Genelia D’Souza, a major figure in Telugu and South Indian cinema, something she’d never intended to be: she’d done a few television commercials in her teens, but producers saw something more. It took several weeks in 2002 to persuade her to take a role in Tujhe Meri Kasam (“Swear On Me”); the film, released in early 2003, did decent business, and it also produced rumors that Genelia and the male lead, Ritesh Deshmukh, were An Item, which were routinely denied for nearly a decade. (They were wed in 2012; they have two children.)

Genelia D'Souza putting on the cute

Genelia D'Souza read the news today, oh boy

Genelia D'Souza not messing up the furniture

Geenu, as family and friends called her, has never shied away from working in commercials. These early ads, including her first and second, are easily found:

Cute or not, she’s occasionally run into controversy, sometimes silly. For instance, in Force (2011):

“We were shooting in Malshej Ghat and there was this old temple where we had got a local maharaj for the wedding sequence.

“Unfortunately the pandit has never witnessed a wedding and did not understand the concept of ‘cut’ and ‘action’ while shooting. It was a multi-camera set-up and so we needed to have minimum shots.

“However whenever [director] Nishikant Kamath would say cut, the pandit would not stop. Finally after the sixth phera someone from the unit realized that the mantras were real and if not stopped John and Genelia would be actually married. So, they were stopped before the final round.”

There is a Force 2, but D’Souza isn’t in it: her character apparently died in the five years between the two films.

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At the sign of the Kat

Katherine Timpf’s name was dropped into last week’s QOTW, and at some time between then and now I decided to go look for a few more pictures, because there are always pictures of a News Babe. In her 28 years she’s evidently annoyed lots of people. From the fall of 2015:

Last month, Fox News contributor Katherine Timpf jokingly insulted fans who were excited for the newest trailer during a guest stint on the late-night political comedy show Red Eye w/ Tom Shillue. Now, Timpf has revealed she’s receiving death threats for her comments.

“I have never had any interest in watching space nerds poke each other with their little space nerd sticks, and I’m not going to start now,” Timpf shared on the original broadcast. “You people are crazy. You Star Wars people are crazy. Yesterday I tweeted something, and all I said was that I wasn’t familiar with Star Wars because I’ve been too busy liking cool things and being attractive — people threatened my life. You’re not really branding yourself in a way that makes me want to join your life-threatening club.”

Jaws was never my scene and I don’t like Star Wars.” — Freddie Mercury, in “Bicycle Race” (1978).

Timpf has a BA in English from Hillsdale College — magna cum laude, yet — and not quite comically large spectacles:

Semi-serious portrait of Kat Timpf

Kat Timpf with an actual cat

Timpf also seems fond of the Inverse Selfie, which is easiest explained by showing you one or two:

Kat Timpf getting ready for the first shift

Kat Timpf getting ready for the second shift

The vast majority of pictures of this sort are taken on the beach or at poolside, so this is Timpf being a noncomformist again.

For the heck of it, here’s a demo reel, generally from Red Eye:

Which explains her on-again-off-again career in stand-up, even while sitting down.

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The Berry nicest

It says in all the reference materials that Halle Berry is 50 years old. It might even be true. (In fact, she’ll be 51 in a couple of weeks.) Maybe some day she’ll look it. But for now:

Halle Berry takes questions

Halle Berry meshes with her surroundings

Halle Berry at San Diego Comic-Con

Meanwhile, photogs and civilians still go wild in her presence:

All three of her 2017 films start with K: Kidnap, due for release next week; Kingsman: The Golden Circle, scheduled for September; and the romance Kings, which will be seen for the first time at the Toronto International Film Festival, also in September.

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Quote of the week

Are you familiar with Katherine Timpf? I’m not. But the Z Man says he knows the type:

Katherine Timpf in unofficial uniformMx. Timpf is probably a nice person. I only had a vague recollection of her so I looked up some clips of her on YouTube. Here’s a longish one. From the photos on line and her video clips, it appears she figured out that she could work the naughty librarian look into a paying gig in conservative media. Her bio says she is a libertarian, but exactly no one gives a damn about her political views. She’s on TV because she is easy on the eyes and willing to play the sex kitten on these chat shows. That’s how it works.

There’s nothing new about this, but in the past, the women doing the TV bimbo roles knew why they were on TV. In fact, many had made it to television via modeling or beauty pageants. Phyllis George was the winner of the 1971 Miss America pageant and that got her a gig on CBS as a sportscaster in 1974. She provided the legs, while gnarly old dudes like Jimmy the Greek and Brent Musberger talked football. George never carried on like she was an expert on football. She was eye candy and the moderator of the show.

Today, young women like Katherine Timpf are walking around thinking they are where they are because they are important thinkers. The exchange she had with Colin Flaherty was sadly comical. She picked up some libertarian talking points and she repeats them, making “criminal justice reform” her issue. In the old days, the beauty pageant girls would cast about for a talent that they could use in shows. Today, TV bimbos cast about for a social cause they can champion on TV, while showing some leg.

One should not assume, though, that the various male “thinkers” on cable TV are necessarily any brighter: Sean Hannity ain’t exactly Brainiac 5, but he has a scowl that, not unlike Timpf’s gams, goes on for days. Still, the conventional wisdom here is pervasive enough that you’ll probably never see Rachel Maddow in a skirt.

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I’m too sexy for this tour

Paige Spinarac is to golf what Anna Kournikova was to tennis: perhaps not championship caliber, but who cares?

Paige Spinarac on the edge of the Marvel Universe

Paige Spinarac on the outside of a golf cart

For now, though:

Paige does not yet have a permanent spot on the LPGA Tour, though she has played events on it several times in recent years. The next time she plays — which she hopes will be her full-time career sooner rather than later — she may look different, however.

Spiranac believes that she’s been deemed too sexy for pro golf, by virtue of the women’s tour’s strict new dress code restrictions. Plunging necklines are now banned, and the new rules include no leggings unless under a skirt or shorts and no jogging bottoms.

The 24-year-old, who has become Instagram-famous for her tantalizing photos (and for her golf game too, we suppose), is upset.

Paige Spinarac snaps a selfie

Paige Spinarac wields a mighty scepter

And she does have a cause:

I offer no prediction on how this eventually works out.

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The great Trentini

Caroline Trentini was thirteen or so when she was spotted by one of those mysterious people who spend their days looking for girls with modeling potential. Why was he looking at this town in the far south of Brazil? He’d struck gold in southern Brazil before: Gisele Bündchen, about as golden as you can get in the fashion biz. She quickly started getting work, and eventually moved to New York, a fairly gutsy move for a girl who spoke no English. Then again, fashion photographers ask, not how you’re doing or how’s the weather, but “Can you wear this?” She could.

Caroline Trentini for Victoria's Secret in 2005

Caroline Trentini doesn't quite sprawl

Caroline Trentini apparently not wearing anything

Or, regarding that last shot, “Can you not wear this?”

And we have a brief interview with her on the occasion of a Versace campaign for 2015:

Her English, of course, is fine. And if you’re curious, she just turned 30 this month.

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