Guys: Are your pick-up lines no longer working? Well, here’s a new approach you may want to try. Go over to that attractive woman, introduce yourself, and tell her in a quiet but authoritative voice: It’s been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon…
That’s right: Spin a yarn. Newly published research finds women view men as more attractive potential long-term mates if they are good storytellers.
“Stories are not just mere conversation,” write Melanie Green of the University of Buffalo and John Donahue of the University of North Carolina. “Storytelling ability appears to increase (a man’s) perceived status, and thus helps men attract long-term partners.”
As a Bard with -6 Charisma, I am not likely to achieve results of this type.
What’s more, this is not supposed to work in the opposite direction. Per the abstract:
Results suggested that only women’s attractiveness assessments of men as a long-term date increased for good storytellers. Storytelling ability did not affect men’s ratings of women nor did it affect ratings of short-term partners.
Color me “outlier.” Then again, I may be remembering Sir Richard Burton’s description of Scheherazade:
[She] had perused the books, annals and legends of preceding Kings, and the stories, examples and instances of bygone men and things; indeed it was said that she had collected a thousand books of histories relating to antique races and departed rulers. She had perused the works of the poets and knew them by heart; she had studied philosophy and the sciences, arts and accomplishments; and she was pleasant and polite, wise and witty, well read and well bred.
Wiser than I, surely. Still, one of us has to be the brains of the operation, and I’m not particularly adept at it.