Archive for Ventually

Look away

Not so far away, there’s a blonde in her middle sixties who can rock tight contemporary jeans better than the teenager up the block. She is, of course, spoken for. Even if she weren’t, though, I have no business even mentioning it.

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Baby’s brain and an old man’s heart

Took eighteen years to get this far.

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The taxman stayeth

There’s something fundamentally wrong with a tax code that routinely costs ordinary people many hours and dollars every single year, and not just for taxes either.

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Somewhere unintended

I had no idea I was even heading in this direction; I’m as surprised as you are. Maybe more so.

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Try not to look

Once upon a time, fashion was intended to serve the time-honored function of making sure that boy meets girl. (There always were, and still are, other combinations possible, but they require a bit more specialization, or so it seems to me.) Today, the dynamic is utterly different.

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Toil and trouble

There was a time when people would think to themselves “You know, this job sucks,” but then pushed that thought out of their minds and finished the job, because that’s what you’re supposed to do.

That time was, um, earlier this week.

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Staying the course

There are times, admittedly not often, when you might actually want to vote for an incumbent. This is one of those times.

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I hurt myself today

No, I’m not going all Trent Reznor all of a sudden. But damn, I don’t remember being this fragile.

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The ride never ends

“Life is a roller coaster that we all ride,” 10cc once declared.

I never did like roller coasters.

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Memory editing

Previous version of [remembered object] exists. Replace?

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Hardware blues

Consider this a brief summation of what goes through your head as you desperately search for ways to keep this old clunker running for just a few more weeks. And by “you,” I of course mean “me.”

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More random rants

You’ve seen this concept before; I’m hoping that enough time has elapsed since then to allow me to do the same thing again.

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Of people and pronouns

Shorter version: if “people” = “yes” than “it” = “not appropriate.” If it gets complicated after that, well, so do people.

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Going to eleven

Nothing Tufnel about it: that just happens to be the number of questions being asked. (Blame Roger.)

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Unfinished business

If I understand things correctly — and who says I do? — it won’t actually be finished so long as I’m breathing.

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So this is Christmas

Remember when the holidays weren’t politicized to a fare-thee-well? Well, I do.

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The little red heart

Where did it come from? What did it mean? And why is it sitting on my desk?

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My very best friends

There is friendship, and there is magic. And there are times when it might take the latter to bring about the former.

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But what if…?

An insufficiently mild horror story of teddy bears and piano teachers.

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I have never been here before

And it’s far too late to turn back now.

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However many leaves

There is a finite period between the time the leaves start to fall and the time the trees are completely bare. I have no idea how long that might be.

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Spamming email, vain consultant

Young whippersnapper aspires to give advice to the old pro; the old pro declines, most ungraciously.

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Life’s been good

In which the timelines of Twilight Sparkle and Joe Walsh somehow are made to intersect. Admittedly, neither of them drive, but that’s not the important thing.

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Points of failure

You think you’re having problems with that damned government health-care site? You should see what I have to put up with.

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I don’t get it (third base)

Yet another collection of things I don’t entirely comprehend because they’re so damned screwy.

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Hanging on

Sometimes life is one damn thing after another; other times it’s several damn things at once.

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Not a household word

In 1976, Cliff Richard put out an album — his twentieth, not including compilations and side projects — cheekily titled I’m Nearly Famous.

Which, coincidentally, is about the way I’d describe myself.

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The view never changes

A Brit this week explained why he’d just as soon not see any more Page 3 girls, which prompted some thoughts, and admittedly unexcited thoughts at that, about the current issue of Playboy.

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So superior

Is she too good for me? Perhaps she thinks she is.

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Snooze alarmed

Maybe I’m getting all worked up over nothing — or maybe I’m not.

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