Archive for Wastes of Oxygen

A new low for Florida Man

As fuzzy thinking goes, this is some of the fuzziest:

A Florida man killed his fellow neo-Nazi roommates after he converted to Islam and they did not respect his new faith, police said.

Devon Arthurs led cops to the bodies of his former friends on Friday, but not before he also allegedly held two customers and an employee of Tampa’s Green Planet Smoke Shop hostage with a pistol before he surrendered.

Jeremy Himmelman, 22, and Andrew Oneschuk, 18, were discovered dead of gunshot wounds to the upper body and head, police said.

Arthurs said that he and the pair had “shared a common neo-Nazi belief,” but that he recently converted to Islam.

If anyone ever deserved to be buried in six feet of chitterlings, it’s this guy.

“You’d have to kill him first.”

Your point being … ?

(Via Daniel Tobin.)

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Calling all fourth-graders

I bet you could answer this one:

In AutoCAD, if you want to make text one-fourth the size of the decimal units for your drawing, should you type .25 or .40?

What’ll you bet me the guy also pirated the software? He’s manifestly too dumb to be in a position where he can afford a four-digit license fee, or to work at a place that can.

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Dumbass lacks remorse

But just the same, he wants a free pass:

I kind of went on a drunken rant in a personal message to a friend (girl) on Facebook, I didn’t attack her but I insulted some other people. Then she replied, and I engaged more which means in the future, it’s not like I could claim someone hacked my account or anything, it was clearly me.

I’m now thinking that in the future, she could pull that out and really tarnish my reputation. I know deleting it on my end doesn’t delete it on hers so,

—Is there any law that would protect me from her publishing it in the future?

and

—If I start a new FB account with a separate email, and shut down my old account will her official record of the conversation go away with it?

I feel like there should be some way to demand FB erase something you put out there. But I’m sure you sign that all away in the TOS.

What do you think?

I think you should have thought of this before you went on this “drunken rant.”

And no, there should be no way to demand FB erase something you put out there. Stupidity, by design, is intended to be self-correcting; the putative trashing of your precious reputation is a part of that correction.

Actions have consequences. We all learn this in different ways. Welcome to yours.

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The evolution of scum

It doesn’t improve, exactly, but the stealth techniques are growing marginally more sophisticated:

[T]he phone rang as I was cleaning and I ran to check on it — a local number and the name Sheri McCoy. Well, years back, I knew some McCoys, they are since deceased but I thought, “Maybe Sheri is a daughter-in-law or granddaughter” so I picked up.

“Hello!” says a cheery male-bot voice “Our records show you stayed at one of our resorts in the past …”

I said another unladylike word and slammed the phone down. I know this is a scam because I think the last time I stayed in anything that could be deemed a “resort,” it was 1995 and I was at an Ecological Society of America meeting, and paying waaaaaaay too much for everything in a ski resort on the off season…

Okay, take that middle paragraph, replace “male-bot” with “female-bot” and “resorts” with “facilities,” and you get exactly the phone call I got Friday. I was sufficiently ticked off to take it to Twitter:

Especially since I had stayed at one of their facilities in the past. And they tried it again today, with 405-949-3304.

Dear Mr. Dante: What circle is reserved for these miscreants? Call me, but not on the landline.

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Let there be tears

Crocodile tears, that is:

Scott Van Zyl made his living taking wealthy clients on “safaris” for the sole purpose of bringing home trophies like leopards, zebras, wildebeests and even lions. Now, investigators in Zimbabwe believe that Van Zyl ended up on the wrong end of the predator-prey relationship, and DNA tests have confirmed that he was attacked, killed, and eaten by crocodiles while on a hunting trip.

Van Zyl, who ran SS Pro Safaris, offered specials for hunters to spend a week or more on his hunting lands which border nature preserves, with the promise of killing up to seven different species for $9,000. He also offered other hunting expeditions with targets like elephants and giraffes, though specifics for those, including prices, aren’t listed on the company’s site. Photos of clients holding the bodies of several rare species are posted on Van Zyl’s site, along with the motto “Stop whining, go hunting.”

Eventually, a search party had to go hunt for Van Zyl, and after they found his backpack:

Authorities killed the crocs after getting clearance to do so and subsequently discovered human remains inside the stomach of one of them. Tests of the remains matched Van Zyl.

And unto dung we shall return.

(With thanks to Steffanie Malan.)

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Inconvenienced psychopath issues a threat

Like this:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: If service to Safeway and QFC stores in Washington State especially King County I will start destroying things and even more!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Let the little madman speak:

here is the situation

Some Safeway and QFC stores in Washington State are denying consumers their god given right to do things such as renew their monthly Orca bus card (for monthly passes) and add money to Orca Cards due to a technical issue that is most likely caused by the people that invented it just to inconvenience people and force them to be patient until the issue is resolved (an example of how people like this like to cause chaos and disorder).

here is what is going to happen:

Service to this will be restored by April 25th of 2017 by anywhere from midnight to 9am that day or I will take the following actions:

I will get flammable materials in the form of flammable liquid (most likely gas cans and whatever is cheaply and easily obtainable in my area) and start finding areas not on retailers property but wherever near there I see fit (could be neighborhoods and any place near those parts of town that have areas people can get into undetected and easily without notice and I will start burning things down (random acts of Arson).

I live in King County but have access for a limited time to some areas by the means I have to get around to places so mark my word this is something I am capable of doing and will do if my demands to have this service restored by then are not met.

if it comes to the point where I have to start harming people or even cops (or pigs as I call them) that stand in my way then well… I will do whatever it takes then.
Update: https://orcacard.com/ERG-Seattle/p1_001.do – link works on all browsers

https://www.soundtransit.org/sites/default/files/orca_retail_locations.pdf – link works in Internet explorer but not Opera Browser for some reason. whether it works on firefox or not I do not know as I have not used that browser in a long time
Update 2: my actions will not affect retailers themselves but rather random areas around them that I manage to find that are secure during any time of day I find out about that I can access certain areas of any kind
Update 3: I do know that technically forcing people of any kind to do something they do not want to do might be technically referred to as terrorism but then even if that is the case I do not give a s***.

f*** the police anyway

in short action by fire as such is the action I will take if my demands to have Orca card services are not restored by April 25th of 2017 action against actual people is mostly what I will do if my demands are not met and people try to stop me.
Update 4: I do not fear the reaper or the law (I am not afraid of anything).

worst thing after death anyway is I will be reborn into the next life anyway (well that is if I fail anyway… which I will not).
Update 5: even areas around my own neighborhood I will attack as long as it does not affect me personally directly.
Update 6: I am the mad dog

and this is my time
Update 7: also I should note that if some action is not done to undo whatever glitch and/or technical issue caused by whomever is responsible for this is not done by Monday that week even (meaning if I do not find out anything by then) I will start planning what places to attack first that very Monday night at least.

gotta plan ahead for these sort of things ya know.
not planning ahead only makes my plan harder to accomplish if my demands are not met.
Update 8: I will not give my exact location but I will however make the following additional demands:
Update 9: the following cities will have service restored first for Orca Card bus passes:

Kirkland
Shoreline
Redmond
Seattle
Bellevue
Issaquah
Juanita
Woodinville
Update 10: I do not take kindly to disappointment and do not tolerate failure.
Update 11: Monday that week is merely a night for planning.

I say this as I have to work most of the day Monday but after I get home I have all the free time to plan further.
Update 12: if I cannot get flammable liquid in time for whatever reason I have many flammable papers and such around where I live that I do not use that I would not mind using for this if I need to at any time
Update 13: Does what I am saying have a motive

yes

does it have a good reason

yes

am I extremely impatient

yes
Update 14: I am serious this time

anything else I complained about on here is nothing compared to this.

I will take the action I said I would if my demands are not met By April 25th of 2017 this week
Update 15: I do not fear FBI, police, and even Trump.
Update 16: all I have to do now is delete this yahoo account by changing the password first and then deleting it. its not much but its a start

Being the generous soul I am, I passed the link to the Seattle police department. I’m sure the little bastard’s ISP knows who he is, and where he is.

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That’ll teach you

As well it should:

This picture would seem to date to last fall: I found a copy at theCHIVE. How the asshat was able to get out of those two parking spaces, I have no idea.

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A solution I can support

Glenn Reynolds has suggested something like this before, as have I. And now, I submit, is the time:

Robocalls don’t just annoy you at a gas station or a doctor’s waiting room, places where time spent is usually pretty low quality anyway. They interrupt you at your home, or on your smartphone. The Federal Communications Commission says there are 2.4 billion robocalls a month, and it’s trying to do something. I have a solution of my own: Pay me.

Under my proposal, any incoming calls from people not on my contact list wouldn’t go through unless the caller paid me something. Twenty-five cents would probably be enough to discourage phone spammers, who make huge numbers of (mostly futile) calls. (Though I’d be willing to go higher. Maybe I could charge phone-sex rates: I’d be willing to listen to most anything from anyone for $3.99 plus $1.99 a minute.)

For the sake of simplicity, I would argue for $1. But the point is the same, regardless of the price point:

Of course, hardly anyone would be willing to pay me that much, or even 25 cents, to receive a call. Which is the point. If it’s not worth a quarter for them to call me, why is it worth my time to pick up?

Three decades ago, there was something called MCI Mail. Half a buck would get more-or-less guaranteed email delivery to anyone else on the network in a matter of minutes; for $1.50, they’d actually wrap up a snail-mail copy to anyone not on the network. It was easily worth my $70 a year to keep two mailboxes from MCI, one for myself and one for a 1980s analogue of SwiftOnSecurity. And there was never, ever any spam. It shouldn’t be hard to figure out why.

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When one’s gears are ground

If they’re still taking nominations for America’s Most Needing Disembowelment, I nominate these utterly worthless sons of bitches:

A father was shot and killed in front of his wife and 10-year-old daughter after being carjacked because the killer didn’t know how to use a manual transmission, police said.

It happened just before midnight near Richcrest Dr. and Greenbriar Park [in north Houston].

This, unfortunately, does not look promising for those folks who swear by the stick shift because it thwarts crime.

Pedro Aguilar, 47, was in his car on the street in front of an apartment complex when two men in their late teens to early 20’s approached him to carjack him, police said.

They weren’t able to get the car into drive because it was a manual transmission, not an automatic, and shot the man in anger, police said.

This is generally the time I remind you that if it’s not cruel and unusual, it’s not much punishment, is it?

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Kindness misplaced

Like Alfred E. Doolittle, he’s one of the Undeserving Poor:

Several months ago my elderly neighbor allowed a homeless young man named Anthony to live in his garage in exchange for work around the yard and allows him to make modifications to the garage to make it more livable. The neighbor did this out of the kindness of his heart and has a reputation for helping those less fortunate. He is involved in AA and recovery and hoped that by providing Anthony a place to stay and work to keep him busy, plus his guidance. He might be able to influence Anthony and help him to get clean from Alcohol and Drugs.

Sadly, as is the case many times. Anthony is not ready to get clean and sober.

Anthony has not only continued to use drugs, Anthony now has a homeless young lady, also doing drugs, living with him in the garage now as well as frequent visitors doing drugs.

The garage was meant to be a temporary condition to to give Anthony time to get on his feet and get clean. Instead it has given Anthony a level of stability that allows him to do even more drugs.

And worse than that:

The elderly neighbor cannot make Anthony leave. Because he has allowed Anthony to stay there. Anthony now has rights. Anthony has to be served by a Oklahoma County Sheriff with a 30 day eviction notice. Anthony know this, because he has pulled it in others before.

So now the elder gentlemen is a prisoner in his own house until such time as we can get this all sorted out proper through proper legal channels.

This is apparently happening about three miles from me. I’m not at all sure what, if anything, can be done about it.

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The Audi from hell

Yeah, I remember when I was a whiny adolescent:

I’m not asking for a 2017 mustang or anything near that but I have a 2004 Audi A4 with 154,000 miles which has this thing it does where you’re driving and it bumps forward (almost made me hit a car once). I’m only 18 and work part time so I gotta smile and pretend like I like what’s literally been killing me inside. I wanna cry just looking at it. But “I am lucky” to have a car as I have been told. I could sell it for a reasonable price and put that down as down payment towards the car that I do want which is under 10k and is much nicer and in great condition(2012). My dad won’t listen like always and I really fantasize about driving it off a cliff that’s how sad this car makes me. I feel this pain in chest thinking about it. What should I do honestly? And stop all this “you’re spoiled thing” when you know you’re only saying that cause you are not in my situation.

Well, if it’s “literally killing” you inside, it doesn’t matter: you’re about to be very, very dead, which if nothing else should reduce your level of sadness.

And trust me on this: if you’re suicidal with Car A, you’re going to be suicidal with Cars B through Whatever.

Bottom line: Fix the goddamn Audi and shut the frack up.

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Quote of the week

Jack Baruth, after noticing the contradictions inherent in the nation’s abortion laws, gets down to the underlying issue:

As a society, we’ve placed the pleasure of sex above the safety or security of children. And it’s going to get worse before it gets better. The nice people at Salon made a push for a while to “normalize” pedophilia. Eventually they backed off under strong pressure, but you can consider it a test balloon. We worship youth, beauty, and sexuality in this society. These urges are too strong, and the potential supply of teenaged and tween-aged sex objects too tempting, to be forever denied to the adults in power. Come back to the website in the year 2057, when I’m long dead, and see if I was right. The “age of consent” is going to be dropped to where it was in medieval times, which is to say it will be dropped to puberty.

In other words, we are back to using children for adult purposes. It was a nice little holiday for kids there, and a short one too. Let’s mark it down as 1950-2000, in certain parts of the Western World only, and unevenly distributed within those borders. But the holiday is over. Time to get to work. If you’re lucky, it will be the maquiladora. If you’re unlucky, it will be after school in your teacher’s office. (Yes, that happens all the time, too.)

About the only redeeming social value in any of this is that the loudest, most vehement feminists are relatively unlikely to reproduce: why do you think they work so hard at recruiting students?

Meanwhile, Third World hellholes continue apace at the task of becoming the literal bulk of humanity, and some of those hellholes are controlled by people whose attitude toward children is even more inexplicable than ours.

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Chapeau de Reynolds Wrap

We have here a nimrod who says he “needs [an] attorney in Boston.” What he needs, if you ask me, is a tailor who can provide him with 60-inch sleeves:

I am a very smart 30 year old male. The last 2 year’s I have been relentlessly bullied online, here is what I think has happened for I have been using my PC every day for 20 years.. I am being used as an experiment for the government, I do have proof and my word, I never lie. I can tell you thing’s you never would of imagined and I know I am right because of the action’s I see take place online interacting with people online from all over the world. One thing I am very passionate about, is retrieving my transscripts from an internet chat site called Omegle, I been using this site every day speaking my theories and random stuff like a robot for 4 years, there could be over 1 million chats, I feel the items I have wrote into this site can be very valuble and I believe they are being used by the government for i Have seen some of my possible work in the public. I need help, I am just trying to learn about life as I go and make for better things but I am being tortured, I know I am. I really want all my chats back in paper form and data form from Omegle. I have that right, please give me the info to an attorney who can do this for me. My name is Roy and yes I LOVE my PC and using my PC and people are ruining it for me by their words and now corrupting my working PC.

There are no “very smart 30 year old” males on Omegele, which exists largely to provide adolescents the opportunity to look at each other’s naughty bits. And while under copyright laws he does in fact own his words, this does not obligate anyone to provide him hard copy. (I am something of a legend in chat rooms, but I don’t delude myself that anything I wrote is valuable.)

And if you were a very smart 30-year-old male and had been bullied for two years, what would you do? Hint: you wouldn’t hang around at the same place all the damned time.

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Impurrfectly worded

I tend to distrust people who lead off this way:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: How do you delete someone elses Tumblr so they will stop making cat jokes?

Especially if they pivot at the end: “I need them to stop right meow”.

That said, this character has no standing to request deletion of a Tumblr, unless he can prove felinity.

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In search of a solution

What to do, what to do?

I’m furious at BioTechniques “magazine” and the telemarketing firm they used. It will cycle through where I will get calls daily from their telemarketers wanting me to take a survey and “update my subscription.”

I am not a lab scientist. I do not know how I got on their mailing list. I want off of it. I have asked the telemarketers this periodically over the past year.

Finally, early last week, I e-mailed the person listed on their webpage as CEO asking to be taken off their calling cycle, that I regarded the calls as intrusive and borderline harassment. (Honestly: calling a professor DAILY.)

He e-mailed back, saying yes.

(NEVER BELIEVE ANYONE)

It never takes long for a promise to be broken.

I wish there were some really loud public bullhorn though where I could say BIOTECHNIQUES USES SCAMMY TELEMARKETING TECHNIQUES AND BOTHERS PEOPLE WHO HAVE REPEATEDLY SAID “DON’T BOTHER ME” but I don’t know where.

It would have to be some place using ALL CAPS, I would think.

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Daydream fail revisited

Remember this douchelet? Last week he was asking about buying a Lamborghini and claiming an absurd salary to justify himself. Well, he’s back, and he’s more specific this time:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: Which should i buy a 2009 ferrari 430 or a 2007 lamborghini murcielago?

He goes on (and on):

the ferrari cost 184k it has 2048 miles the murcielago lago cost 189k it has 8452 miles which has less cost of maintenance which is more reliable im gonna keep it forever not selling it again

Well, it’s certainly true that he’s not selling it, inasmuch as he can’t possibly buy it. Someone (not I) gave the little dink a stern lecture and this link:

You can buy two new Corollas for that kind of money.

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Daydream fail

I mean, this character is delusional from the word Go:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: Can i be able to buy and keep a lamborghini huracan?

To justify this delusion:

i earn 140-170k per year
i average 8-11k per month

Um, no you don’t. That alleged maximum of $11k per month comes out to only $132k a year. If you made that kind of money, you’d either be able to figure that yourself, or perhaps hire a fourth-grader to do it for you.

Last I looked, base price was $203,295, though I suspect none are sold at anywhere near base price: most of them have $30,000 or more worth of options.

I suspect this guy won’t be getting out of his ’99 Corolla for a long time.

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No fourth-graders were available

Had there been, we likely wouldn’t have seen this:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: I have used 0.01 GB out of 2 GB. How many GB do I have left?

I suppose she was told there would be no math.

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The bigot underneath

On the face of it, this would seem to be a perfectly reasonable question:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: Do people buy Chevrolets, Fords, and Chrysler vehicles because they are so reliable, long lasting, and well engineered?

But he let it slip in his “update”:

whenever i see someone driving a new chevrolet, i think…someone that ‘loves America” and probably hates immigrants and muslims, apple pie, country music and most likely a church going christian?

Well, whenever I see someone writing this, I think I’m dealing with a thickheaded Pajama Boy, or worse, who has never seen anything of the real world and wouldn’t learn anything from it if he did. He probably cried his little heart out when the Wicked Witch of Chappaqua failed to steal the White House.

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And they call it puppy love

“2016: The Year in Dog Sex” is Robert Stacy McCain’s title for a roundup of alleged humans who couldn’t keep their hands (or worse) away from Fido. The first story was disturbing enough:

Jesus Gutierrez, 39, lived with his 43-year-old girlfriend and her pet Maltese dog, Princess, in a New York City apartment. One day in April, when the girlfriend left for work, she set up a video camera to record what was going on in the apartment during her absence. She was certainly correct in suspecting that Gutierrez was up to no good. Prosecutors in New York say Gutierrez “assaulted the dog for a half hour, sodomizing the dog with his fingers … The dog was visibly distressed in the video, prosecutors said.” Gutierrez was arrested “and the traumatized dog was taken to a veterinary hospital,” the New York Daily News reported.

I think I take this personally because I used to date someone who lived with a Maltese, and while I would occasionally chide the little furball for yappiness, this seems like an awfully cruel thing to do to an awfully small dog, especially an awfully small dog who isn’t in a position to consent to such.

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See you in 2027

We have maybe ten years left, says this insufficiently grizzled academic [warning: autostart video]:

There’s no point trying to fight climate change — we’ll all be dead in the next decade and there’s nothing we can do to stop it, a visiting scientist claims.

Guy McPherson, a biology professor at the University of Arizona, says the human destruction of our own habitat is leading towards the world’s sixth mass extinction.

Instead of fighting, he says we should just embrace it and live life while we can.

“It’s locked down, it’s been locked in for a long time — we’re in the midst of our sixth mass extinction.”

It gets better, or perhaps worse:

“I can’t imagine there will be a human on the planet in 10 years,” he says.

“We don’t have 10 years. The problem is when I give a number like that, people think it’s going to be business as usual until nine years [and] 364 days.”

On 1 January 2027, if this guy has the least bit of honor, he should fall on his sword.

Better yet, he should fall on Paul Ehrlich’s sword, Ehrlich himself being obviously unwilling to admit that he was, and is, full of it.

(Via Coyote Blog.)

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Fidel

John Hinderaker relates an apropos anecdote:

Back in the early 1980s, a young woman who worked in my law firm went to Florida to watch the Minnesota Twins in spring training. After she returned, she told me that she had met an elderly couple who had fled Cuba. Like many Cuban exiles, they were Twins fans. The Twins had a number of Cuban players, starting in the early 1960s. They told my friend that they were saving a bottle of champagne, and they would drink it when the earlier of two events occurred: either the Twins won the World Series, or the Tyrant died.

We shook our heads sadly. Castro was going strong, and the Twins were hopelessly bad. It seemed certain that the Cuban couple would not live long enough to celebrate either event. But it turned out that we were too pessimistic. When the Twins won the World Series in 1987, I remembered that Cuban couple and imagined their champagne cork popping. I don’t know whether there is champagne in Heaven, but I hope that same couple is enjoying a toast today, in honor of the Tyrant’s demise.

I’ll drink to that.

A possibly related remark from John Derbyshire, many years ago:

Wherever there is a jackboot stomping on a human face there will be a well-heeled Western liberal to explain that the face does, after all, enjoy free health care and 100 percent literacy.

We heard from plenty of them today.

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The dial clicks once more

Until such time as I don’t, I have to assume that I’ll keep getting older; at least, that’s the one lesson I’ve learned from history, which puts me one up on rather a lot of people these days.

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Take away his name already

It’s the Daily Double!

Elapsed time: eight minutes.

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Fahrenheit 459

I guess they should have told him to go soak his head — elsewhere:

An Oregon man who died after falling into a scalding Yellowstone National Park hot spring was looking for a place to “hot pot,” the forbidden practice of soaking in one of the park’s thermal features, officials said.

Sable Scott told investigators that she and her 23-year-old brother, Colin, left a boardwalk near Pork Chop Geyser on June 7 and walked several hundred feet up a hill in search of “a place that they could potentially get into and soak,” Deputy Chief Ranger Lorant Veress told KULR-TV in an interview.

As Sable Scott took video of her brother with her cellphone, he reached down to check the water temperature and slipped and fell into the hot pool, according to the incident report obtained by KULR through a Freedom of Information Act request.

Peter Grant explains why this was a Bad Idea:

That’s a Darwin Award for sure. How is it possible that this idiot and his sister didn’t do even the most basic research on Pork Chop Geyser? The water in that thermal basin has been measured at no less than 459° Fahrenheit (about 237° Celsius for foreign readers) — well over twice boiling point! — and a pH similar to battery acid; yet these two doofi were looking for a place to soak???

And there’s nothing left to bury:

Search and rescue rangers spotted Colin Scott’s body in the pool the day of the accident, but a lightning storm prevented recovery.

The next day, workers could not find any remains in the churning, acidic water, Veress said.

Because, well, acid.

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Not a clean getaway

Florida has its own Fark tag. We don’t. But it looks like we’re working on it:

A Connerville man got caught taking a bath in someone else’s home [Thursday] evening, after running from police while in handcuffs.

Shortly after 5 p.m., 35-year-old Justin Pollock was pulled over for speeding on State Highway 99 in Connerville.

An Oklahoma highway patrolman found marijuana, put him in handcuffs, and put him in the front of the trooper’s car. But while the trooper was searching Pollock’s van, Pollock maneuvered the cuffs to the front and got out, before running to his van and driving off.

He abandoned his car in some trees of a close by parking lot, and was found in a home around 6.

Charges, of course, were filed:

He has been charged with felony drug possession, felony evading arrest, escape and burglary.

At least he didn’t stink at the time.

(With thanks to Fillyjonk.)

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Welcome to post-literacy

The asshats, they are everywhere:

My mom sent me a clipping from her “back home” paper she get about a woman who showed up drunk at a political rally and started painting phalluses in peanut butter (!) on people’s cars, and while she meant it to be amusing, I just found it distressing because really — being needlessly ugly. So many people now are being needlessly ugly and it seems the ad hominem has replaced the “finding logical counter arguments to the points the person is making that you disagree with.”

If she “meant it to be amusing,” that’s more than enough qualification for rectal millinery: wieners are funny only in context, and vandalism is never funny at all.

It doesn’t help, of course, that we’re embroiled in a political campaign involving the two worst candidates in the history of the Republic, and that their loudest (and probably drunkest) partisans are straight out of William Butler Yeats: “The worst are full of passionate intensity.” Yeah, they’re full of something, all right.

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Just gimme the answer

A subtle question, made less so by its conditions:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: When do you become an adult? This is a topic for my University essay and i want to know the answer from that point of view?

In other words, he wants the answer they’re presumably looking for.

And just in case you were in doubt about that:

Pls dont use google for answering it since my teachers will check if i used google or not i need creative ideas

At the very least, this would seem to constitute an admission that his own ideas are not creative, though I suspect “He’s a lazy pillock” would probably be accepted as an alternative explanation.

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Spoofer fail

I blew off the call from 405-511-2897, because scumbags, but this is both scummier and stupider than I’d anticipated:

Caller ID said XXXXXXXXXX OK. I never answer unidentified calls. Rang 3 times and then stopped. Funny thing is the same thing happened yesterday except it was XXXXXXXXXX GA from phone no. 404-511-2897. So I guess they can make it look like the call is from any state?

If you happen to be Googling this number, you may be absolutely certain that they’re Up to No Good and you have no reason at all to talk to them.

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Failure to plan

I am having a whole lot of trouble coming up with any sympathy for this guy:

The protagonist in this story, Todd Anderson, wants to help the environment, so he bought a 2016 Chevrolet Volt. Not a bad choice — decent electric range for around-town jaunts and a gas generator for out-of-town trips. Another bonus: $12,500 provided by Ontario taxpayers to help him foot the bill. The problem is, he has nowhere to charge it, and this is the city’s fault.

Anderson says he has to run an extension cord to his outdoor parking spot (kitty corner to his home) in order to juice up the Volt. He has installed a recharging station on his front lawn, but the street in front of his house is a no parking zone. If he parks there (and he does), Anderson has to run a cord across the sidewalk, potentially tripping people, while parking tickets collect under his wiper blades.

Some might say that he could have avoided the situation by not purchasing a vehicle that requires a driveway. Or, he could wait until his living accommodations allow him to easily use such a vehicle. Anderson doesn’t see it that way. The city, he says, should make it possible for residents to charge their cars on the street.

“I don’t think someone who drives a gas car would put up with not being able to use a gas station on a daily basis,” he told the Toronto Star.

You’d think he might have been aware of these things before he bought the vehicle.

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