You already know the story:
The bell tolls seven times and I arise;
my fast is broken with a bowl of gruel.
And twelve lines more, as Pop Sonnets takes on Rebecca Black’s “Friday.”
You already know the story:
The bell tolls seven times and I arise;
my fast is broken with a bowl of gruel.
And twelve lines more, as Pop Sonnets takes on Rebecca Black’s “Friday.”
Rebecca Black by now has done enough shoefies over the last few years, on Facebook and Instagram, to make it possible to identify her just from an ankle shot — providing she’s wearing Converse. This one from a couple years back testifies to her loyalty to Chuck Taylors:
This one, however, threw me for a loop. She put this picture on Facebook with the tag “if only you knew how i took this”:
Phone in her third hand, am I right?
Assuming she did take it herself, I’m thinking the most plausible explanation — I’ve worked with timers, and you never get yourself back into position exactly the way you wanted to be — is that one of those two hands actually belongs to someone else, and I see what I think is just enough disparity in wrist diameter to confirm.
Oh, and one more thing:
proud to say I've never been Black Friday shopping and don't ever plan on changing that
— Rebecca Black (@MsRebeccaBlack) November 28, 2014
Make that two more things:
After three years, it still elicits the giggle.
We begin with an anguished question from a fan:
WHY ISNT 1989 ON SPOTIFY????????
— Rebecca Black (@MsRebeccaBlack) October 27, 2014
“Music is art, and art is important and rare. Important, rare things are valuable. Valuable things should be paid for,” [Taylor] Swift said earlier this year to The Wall Street Journal. “It’s my opinion that music should not be free, and my prediction is that individual artists and their labels will someday decide what an album’s price point is. I hope they don’t underestimate themselves or undervalue their art.”
Then again, seven years ago a band, without any label input, threw the question open to its fans:
I’m contemplating offering £4.50 — a tad over nine bucks — to download Radiohead’s new album In Rainbows, and after all, the price is up to me.
After a brief discussion, I upped the ante to £4.75.
If there’s any irony here, it’s in the fact that if Rebecca Black ever gets around to releasing an album — she says she’s been in the studio on weekends — she’ll be setting the price for it, unless she signs a distribution deal. (Her singles have been coming out at 99 cents each, with the notable exception of “My Moment,” which carried a $1.29 tab.) I have no idea how much she’s making off Spotify, but it can’t be a whole heck of a lot.
The late Lou Gehrig, an eminently sensible man, would probably not have encouraged people to dump water on their heads for the sake of research into amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. But being an eminently sensible man, he also wouldn’t have attributed the phenomenon to Beelzebub:
A WorldNetDaily writer can’t fathom why anyone would willingly dump ice water on themselves, so she did some digging and has now concluded that the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge is a satanic ritual.
“I began to think about the IBC,” Selena Owens explains in the piece. “Whose idea was this? Why would people so easily agree to being drenched in icy water? Who participated and who didn’t? Why do people feel obligated to take the challenge if offered to them? What’s the purpose of calling out three other people to take the challenge?”
It gets sillier after that, believe it or not.
I don’t even know what to say about this, folks, except that it’s really, really effed up. Someone please go dump a bucket — no, a trash can — full of ice over Selena Owens’ head. Maybe the ritual will reboot her brain.
And since it’s Friday, here’s Rebecca Black on the receiving end:
To the guy who said she should have been wearing white: give it a rest, why doncha?
MTV actually put Rebecca Black to work at this year’s Video Music Awards, since arguably she does more in the way of music video than they do.
I did like this photo she tucked away on her Facebook page:
Still holding on to that exuberance, I see.
The annual awards show, which hands out gongs for the best teen movies, music and this year — web stars, enjoyed its 16th instalment on Sunday and it is usually fairly innocuous — bar one pole-dancing routine by Miley Cyrus in 2009.
Which, I submit, indeed should have been barred.
But the ceremony’s officials may be kicking themselves for including the new category this year, after impassioned fans of losing “Web Stars” nominees claimed that the whole thing is set-up…
The latest furore started when Cameron Dallas, an 18-year-old Californian with 5.5 million followers on Vine, publicly denounced the process.
He won the award for “Choice Viner”, but was so incensed that he didn’t get the presumably more prestigious award of “Choice Web Star: Male” that he took to Twitter to reveal how he had been made aware of his win days previously.
“It’s funny how they told me I won the Viner award 6 days before the voting ended and made the runners up still vote to tweet for them,” he said, before deleting the tweets.
Meanwhile, a check of the fine print reveals:
According to its voting rules, which are published in its website’s fine print, “Teenasaurus Rox reserves the right to choose the winner from the top four vote generators.”
In other news, someone or something is using the name “Teenasaurus Rox.”
2011 Choice Web Star (!) winner Rebecca Black got one-fifth of a nomination this year:
They did not win. However, RB says, and I quote, that she’s “blessed to be back at it.” And since I have it, a photo from one of the pre-ceremony parties:
We’re just glad to have you around, Bex.
Since someone asked (using the Tumblr Ask function), Rebecca Black explained what’s been going on with her schooling for the past three years. First, the question as put:
after dropping out, did you actually ‘homeschool’ or hang around doin almost barely anything somewhat educational in your room (like i’ve been doing these recent months)? im a highschool dropout same age as you, just thought even tho it looks all cool and good on the outside, everyone got their own struggles but all others see is the problems, and maybe you have some of your own. private answer me if you want to. i’d like to know you a lil better.
I never “dropped out” of high school. I was always taking a full load of classes, but I took them online. I still had all the different teachers and classes. I did this for my freshman and sophomore years, and then went back to public high school for my junior year, and will continue that for my senior year as well, as I didn’t want to miss out on a “high school experience” completely.
I’m not one to support dropping out, that’s honestly never even been a reasonable option for my family and myself. I never dropped out of high school, I’m not graduating early, no GED, CHSPE, I’ll be graduating this next year with my class!
And that would seem to be that.
Those who edit Wikipedia are advised about notability: persons or events not worthy of note should not have their own articles. (I don’t have one, and don’t ever expect to, though I know a few people who do.) One’s level of notability determines how much stuff gets on the page: if, for instance, you dial up Led Zeppelin’s “Good Times Bad Times,” their first single, you’ll find in the sidebar a “Led Zeppelin singles chronology,” which, if you follow the links, will take you through “Whole Lotta Love” to “Immigrant Song” to “Black Dog” — though not to “Stairway to Heaven,” which was not released as a single — all the way to “Fool in the Rain.”
I mention this on a Friday because some Wikieditor has assembled a “Rebecca Black singles chronology,” which begins, inevitably, with “Friday,” and continues through “My Moment,” “Person of Interest,” “Sing It,” “In Your Words,” ending with the recent “Saturday.” Each of these songs has its own article and a small collection of contemporary reviews, just like those “real” musical acts.
“Sing It,” notes the pertinent article, received “mixed to positive reviews.” Not incidentally, it was the first RB single to get more thumbs up than down on YouTube; the fans now greatly outnumber the haters. I’m waiting for this to happen to Yoko Ono.
Rebecca Black, interviewed at VidCon this past week, on what’s next and why you don’t ever read the comments:
How to keep your water bottle from sliding off your lap was apparently not part of the discussion.
Rebecca Black put in an appearance at DigiFest NYC last weekend, and left behind a trace of her existence:
That logo for Dormify made me think: “Surely Nancy Friedman has seen this name before.” (And she has.) Dormify, they say, “gives you fresh, chic apartment and dorm room decorating ideas,” which is a good thing, given the blanded-out cubicle that is Rebecca’s bedroom. (Assuming that the videos she made in her bedroom were in fact made in her bedroom.) And she’s their target market:
Nearly all of Dormify’s customers are young women and their mothers, although … it is launching a new line of “performance sheets” for men’s beds.
Dormify offers free consultation online and has an average sale of $125 per customer. Zuckerman said students can decorate a dorm room for about $500. A set of sheets, a duvet and pillows start around $150.
“Performance sheets”? Words fail me.
And what’s that blacked-out thing on the backdrop? Not having a copy of the miraculous software used by law enforcement on network-television procedurals, I cranked up various aspects of the picture to verify that it is a logo of some sort, but no way could I read the red-on-black printing, either here or on the other half a dozen I looked at.
For one brief, shining moment, I actually got Rebecca Black to follow me on Twitter.
It didn’t last. Maybe she ran into the usual Twitter limits; maybe she decided it was better for her image if she didn’t. Within half an hour, I was back on the outside looking in, and in fact Twitter had obligingly dropped me from her list of followers, something that rather a lot of people have been reporting of late, so I suspect I’m just visiting Glitch City.
However, Twitter did send me the usual list of suggestions, and it was interesting: three YouTubers, two of whom I’d actually heard of, and Bruno Mars. (Bruno Mars? Really?)
Then there’s this:
you could be the hottest person alive on this planet but if your personality is equivalent to that of a piece of toast I can't talk to you
— Rebecca Black (@MsRebeccaBlack) June 3, 2014
So much for the whole grain.
Generally, one expects some sort of video from Rebecca Black on Friday. What we got was this:
THANK YOU FINAL CUT PRO FOR DECIDING NOT TO WORK AT THE BEST TOME POSSIBLE THANK YOU SO MUCH
— Rebecca Black (@MsRebeccaBlack) May 23, 2014
Autocorrect messed up “TIME,” I assume, though it could simply be that she’s a giant sleepy blob of doom.
Today Rebecca Black announced “ROADTRIP!!!!!!” with exactly that many exclamation points. She’s headed to the Coachella Valley, probably not for the big Carrot Festival therein, and which seat did she take?
I’m guessing the driver might be older than sixteen.
Below-normal temperatures today and tomorrow morning here in the Big Breezy. Not that Rebecca Black would have any reason to know that, but if you ask me, she definitely picked a fine time to do her second one-take unequalized cover, a version of the Neighbourhood’s “Sweater Weather,” which you’ll find below the jump.
Rebecca Black is once again at Playlist Live Orlando — there’s also a Playlist Live in the fall in the similarly exotic Secaucus, New Jersey — and in case you’re not up on this series, it consists of “three-day gatherings for fans, creators and supporters of online video.” RB qualifies as all three of those.
Oh, it’s sold out, so you may not get to see this:
GUYYYYSSS! Here's where to meet me tomorrow and Sunday :) pic.twitter.com/QxDKFxiGsu
— Rebecca Black (@MsRebeccaBlack) March 21, 2014
Those panels look like they might have some entertainment value.
To some of us, Pi is Very Special Indeed:
It's π day, π day Gotta be irrational and transcendental on π day
— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) March 14, 2014
To others (after the jump), maybe not so much:
It’s Valentine’s Day, after all, and Rebecca Black has advice for the lovelorn:
And hey, if she can put a short I in “driving,” she can put one in “unrequited.”
Some things I was wondering about, answered by the California Department of Motor Vehicles:
- Be at least 16 years old.
- Prove that you have finished both driver education and driver training.
- Have had a California instruction permit or an instruction permit from another state for at least six months.
- Provide parent(s) or guardian(s) signature(s) on your instruction permit stating that you have completed 50 hours of supervised driving practice (10 hours must be night driving) as outlined in the California Parent-Teen Training Guide (DL 603). Visit the Teen website at www.dmv.ca.gov/teenweb/ or call 1-800-777-0133 to request this booklet.
- Pass the behind-the-wheel driving test. You have three chances to pass the driving test while your permit is valid. If you fail the behind-the-wheel driving test, you must pay a retest fee for a second or subsequent test and wait two weeks before you are retested.
Once you have your provisional driver license, you may drive alone, as long as you do not have any collisions or traffic violations.
Which explains how it is that Rebecca Black, aged sixteen years, six months and six days, drove herself to the KTLA studios on Sunset this morning to appear on a news-like show.
Also discovered this morning: “Saturday,” her duet with Dave Days, has made the Billboard Hot 100, charting at #55 — three positions higher than “Friday.”
And for laughs, RB turned loose four minutes’ worth of outtakes from her last six months’ worth of vlogs. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of reading the comments — you never read the comments — and happened upon this:
Oh, dear God.
When I first heard that Rebecca Black was covering Lorde’s ineffable “Royals,” something inside of me died just a little.
Fortunately, I heal quickly, and I’m here to tell you that this is pretty amazing, especially given her early history of, um, studio fine-tuning. She recorded it live on her MacBook, with absolutely zero production values.
In retrospect, it seems so obvious: Rebecca Black already owns Friday in pop culture, right? And so, the Next Step:
In purely musical terms, “Saturday” is to “Friday” what the Four Tops’ “It’s the Same Old Song” is to “I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch).”
I have an occasional tendency to drop into a random page in the archives and then read a couple weeks’ worth, just to refresh the memory and see if my thinking has changed in the interim.
Which in no way inspired Rebecca Black to sit through the original video of “Friday”:
Well, most of it, anyway.
On the off-chance that there’s someone out there who really, truly liked the song “Wrecking Ball,” but wanted to hear someone else — anyone else — sing it, we have here the second Rebecca Black variation on a Miley Cyrus theme:
Local Wolves is a print and online magazine based in Southern California, founded by photographer Cathrine Khom. Their ninth issue is just out, featuring a selection of “Autumn Beauties”; Rebecca Black’s BFF Alexa Losey is on the cover.
And if you dig down thirty-odd pages, there’s RB herself, photographed in some places that may not actually remind you of her Orange County origins, including an actual pumpkin patch. The text included with those pictures, it appears, is intended to bring you up to date, in case you hadn’t heard that she was still around and still doing whatever the heck it is she does. (Of course, if you read these pages, you already know that, after a fashion; I’m starting to believe that I have written more about Rebecca Black than has anyone else on the face of the earth.) RB posted a shot from the session to Instagram; you can read the whole issue of Local Wolves from their Web site, which will take you to Issuu, a nifty-looking online publisher with a prodigious variety of available content. (I probably need to keep up with SwimSuit Illustrated, if only to see if they have an annual Sports issue.)
For her regular Friday video, RB churned up something called “Everyday Makeup Tutorial,” which is of course nothing of the sort — but she’s deadpan enough to make you believe it, for the first minute or so anyway. She then tweeted:
RT if you think i should do an ACTUAL everyday makeup routine ;)
Seriously twisted, this girl.
I continue to fool around with iTunes Radio, and at some point this week I got the idea of putting together a custom station, just to see what I’d get. So I scrolled through the song list, pushed the appropriate buttons, and voilà!
Thus was born Friday Radio, which began its operation, not actually with “Friday,” but with the second Rebecca Black single, “My Moment.” As expected, there’s a heck of a lot of teen pop, and since much of it is vended by Disney, there’s a heck of a lot of Disney-related material coming down the stream.
Here’s the first batch of tunes served up by Friday Radio:
Miley Cyrus was a lot easier to listen to when she was Hannah Montana.
Greyson Chance is that kid from Edmond who became a YouTube star by warbling a cover of Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi”; he’s working on his third album.
Yes, the Chipettes are the Rule 63 version of the Chipmunks.
And viewed, or listened to, on its own terms, some of this stuff isn’t half bad.
This concerned me for a moment:
do u ever just wake up and decide that ur not getting out of bed today or tomorrow or ever
— Rebecca Black (@MsRebeccaBlack) September 21, 2013
Not an existential crisis, no: she was just, um, unwell.
The third of August — the third of August 2012 — was the last time there was an Ask Rebecca video, until this week:
Two observations: her comic timing is fairly decent, though it’s hard to tell with the extremely close editing, and her makeup bill probably looks like a Pentagon procurement order. And the latter, I suspect, might really be unnecessary, based on this selfie in which she says she’s not wearing any.
In other news, I actually used the word “selfie.” Two months extra purgatory for that.
But this time, it’s mostly dare, and as you’d expect, some of those dares are marginally disgusting, albeit still funny.
SDK, incidentally, stands for Settle Down Kids. I think.
I saw the original Little Brother Fake Tweet, although I didn’t recognize it as such. (And really, this one would have seemed more likely, but it happened after the fact.)
Also this week, since RB is back in school: essential school supplies.
For the last couple of years, Rebecca Black had been homeschooled. Not this year, though: she let it be known in this thread that she was back in a formal classroom, as a presumably ordinary high-school junior. (And that’s a nice pair of Chucks.)
Also, she got an impromptu voice lesson:
Which did, I admit, make me chuckle.
In this bit of silliness, we learn that Rebecca Black wears a 7½ shoe — and that she hates cereal. How is that even possible?
(And there’s a companion piece.)
Rebecca Black takes a trip to New York:
I wish I had a tenth of her sheer exuberance.