Later that night, Collier finds herself wondering if time spent in love can be construed as lost or wasted time. Time transfigured into affection? Is that a waste? Is any small corner of love in the world useless?
The concept of "useless" time at first seems inconceivable to Collier. The affair's beginnings were not so much born out of intimacy as they were out of convenience and pragmatism. "I need a man to keep my edges off," Collier once told Kiki. "I'm not looking to be anyone's 'only', if you know what I mean." Collier was not interested in permanence or tenderness, though Kiki was having the smallest bit of trouble understanding why anyone would enter something so clearly resembling a vacuum. Then it occurred to her that perhaps Collier had the correct approach to such things, not allowing herself to be torn by longing for "more".
Or maybe it was the disappointed heart that Collier sought to avoid, not true love. After all, a broke