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On the matter of interior decoration, now is the time for all good citizens to come to the aid of minimal good taste. Come with me now to interior decoration land to see what splendid amendments we could all propose.

Felonies:

  1. Gold spackles in the ceiling;
  2. Lime-green shag carpeting;
  3. The dread green-and-purple tile combination in the john.

Hanging offenses:

  1. Pictures of dogs playing poker;
  2. Elvis on velvet (unless part of an overall kitsch theme);
  3. Jesus on velvet.

Misdemeanors:

  1. Kitchens done entirely in either harvest gold or avocado green;
  2. Red-flock wallpaper;
  3. Black walls;
  4. The phrase "window treatment";
  5. The colors ecru, mauve, and taupe.

Fines:

  1. Paintings or statues of sleeping Mexicans;
  2. Driftwood lamps;
  3. Large, dead, painted fish on the wall;
  4. Doilies;
  5. Knotty pine;
  6. Crocheted toilet-paper-roll covers;
  7. Plastic vines on the ceiling of the rec room with little white Christmas lights in them;
  8. Round waterbeds;
  9. China statues of leprechauns under mushrooms;
  10. Painted plaster cr