dustbury.com

Well, hello, Dalek

CGHill — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 16:42:12 +0000

It’s so nice to have you back where you belong:

(From Mostly Forbidden Zone via Miss Cellania.)

Examples set

CGHill — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 16:08:12 +0000

Michael Bates goes through the Tulsa water-use statistics, and turns up one example of pure comedy gold:

On average, the six board members of Sustainable Tulsa use 173,167 gals/yr, a bit more than twice the average for a single-family home.

Big Saint Al wouldn’t have had it any other way.

(Disclosure: I use around 25,000 gallons a year.)

Allowing yourself some screening room

CGHill — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 14:35:32 +0000

The time for due diligence is before you do ~~someone~~ something else. Inevitably, there’s an app for that:

Even though dating should be about having fun and meeting new people, it’s also about finding out if this person is potential mate material. I mean you want to know if the person sitting across from you has had serious run-ins with the law or has picked their nose since age seven. Thanks to this new iPhone and Android app, you might not be able to check about the nose picking habit, but you can get the deets on just about everything else.

Date Check is an app that lets users pull up all those juicy secrets that you want to know, but might be too shy to ask on the first or second date. With a flick of the wrist you can find out if a person has a criminal history via the sleeze detector. You can also see if they own real estate, or if they’re living with someone — say a spouse they might have forgotten to mention.

I’m thinking that the slogan — “Lookup before you hookup” — is just a hair off-putting, at least to me.

So vote already, dammit

CGHill — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 13:00:48 +0000

Mike Hermes, father of the Okie Blog Awards, describing his offspring:

[M]y admiration goes to the entire Oklahoma blogging community, both readers and authors, for supporting such a fertile breeding ground of ideas, observations and entertainment. Just like a seething Petri dish, we may not like everything that comes out of it, but where one person sees mold, another finds penicillin. Or something like that.

Speaking of that which is moldy, I’m inexplicably on the final ballot in a couple of places, so you have ample opportunity to vote against me this week. (Deadline is midnight Sunday, 14 February.)

Water on the brain

CGHill — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 01:29:11 +0000

I was glancing at the Enhanced Weather Page for this part of the world, which normally features four different radar views, from different segments of the County Warning Area. One of them this evening was a bit more different than usual: admittedly, we’ve had a fair amount of rain today, occasionally mixed with snow, but nowhere near enough to give us a farging ocean.

This didn’t last long, though: while I was cutting the image from the page, they did an update, which replaced the offending image with one a bit less geographically unacceptable.

Still, I have to figure it’s probably at least slightly nicer on the Carolina coast than it is here, at least right this minute.

Living in the 5-3-9

CGHill — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 23:39:48 +0000

By now, everyone in the 918 knows that they’re about to get an overlay code.

Traditionally, overlay codes have been hated because they mean everyone has to dial ten digits, even to someone across the street. But who dials anymore? You call up the name on the cell and push a key.

And some places have more than one overlay, as Gothamist notes:

According to a press release, “929″ will join “718″ and the much-maligned “347″ in the Bronx, Brooklyn, Queens and Staten Island. That’s because all the existing phone numbers will be tapped out by 2012, reports Neustar.

After Costa Tsiokos linked to this, I had to ask:

Was [347] really maligned? For that matter, does anyone malign 646?

His answer:

347 is generally shunned. In fact, I personally shunned it: My first NY number was a 347, and I couldn’t wait to dump it in favor of 646. 646 is deemed worthy, and an acceptable alternative to 212 (which is fairly impossible to snag).

Is this a preference for palindromes over non-palindromes? Or just a distrust of the new kid on the block? (New Yorkers have had over a decade to get used to 646.)

I think it’s a safe bet, though, that the first time someone says he has a 539 number, the person being told this will say something like “Where the hell do you live?”

And we here in the 405 should not be smug; we’ll be facing something like this ourselves in a couple of years. (572?)

Write now?

CGHill — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:48:25 +0000

“Publish or perish” used to be, I am given to understand, a directive given to university faculty: you did the papers, or you’d never work on this tenure track again, Bunkie. Now it seems to have filtered down to the students. Dani Shapiro writes in the Los Angeles Times:

Today’s young writers don’t peruse the dusty shelves of previous generations. Instead, they are besotted with the latest success stories: The 18-year-old who receives a million dollars for his first novel; the blogger who stumbles into a book deal; the graduate student who sets out to write a bestselling thriller — and did.

The 5,000 students graduating each year from creative writing programs (not to mention the thousands more who attend literary festivals and conferences) do not include insecurity, rejection and disappointment in their plans. I see it in their faces: the almost evangelical belief in the possibility of the instant score. And why not? They are, after all, the product of a moment that doesn’t reward persistence, that doesn’t see the value in delaying recognition, that doesn’t trust in the process but only the outcome. As an acquaintance recently said to me: “So many crappy novels get published. Why not mine?”

I suspect that the ones who really want to write — as distinguished from those who really want to have written, which is not the same thing — are passing up the creative writing programs and the festivals and the conferences and are spending their time staring down a blank piece of paper until the words start to flow.

(Via Little Miss Attila, who asks: “[S]ince when has any artist been entitled to get along without a day job?”)

Also, to serve and protect

CGHill — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:02:26 +0000

Though that seems a secondary function, really:

“Must be worn by a siren,” says SondraK.

(Hat tip: Jeffro.)

FLOTUSes blossomed

CGHill — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 14:17:46 +0000

Brief descriptions by JC of the last few First Ladies:

Nancy Reagan was America’s nagging mother, what with the “Just Say No” program. My mom would have suggested “just say no thank you”, but that’s another matter.

Barbara Bush was America’s grandmother, offering lemonade and cookies (careful of the lactose intolerant, you see), and reading to the kiddies at the public library. Full disclosure, she did in fact read to my kids at the library one time).

Hillary Clinton was best described by P. J. O’Rourke as “America’s Ex-Wife”, and that pretty much sums it up.

Laura Bush was an actual librarian, and did the official unveiling of the statue of Dr. Seuss. C’mon, that’s neat.

Michelle Obama strikes me as a playground monitor, an officious overpaid representative of the state who got the job through political connections.

If the pattern holds, the next FLOTUS ought to be pretty spiffy.

Strange search-engine queries (210)

CGHill — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:50:57 +0000

What you’re looking at is a highly-unrepresentative sampling of the search requests that arrived on this site during the last seven days, chosen mostly for potential snark value. We do this once a week; the possibility of unintended acceleration of this schedule is essentially nil.

candid jailbait spy: What’s worse than a perv? A perv by proxy.

please god piss it away this time: Um, this is not how you pray for rain.

does meredith vieira wear a bikini: Certainly not in front of Matt Lauer.

twit_dollars: The new Twitter-based currency. In an effort to reduce individual debt, no one will be allowed to spend more than 140 of them at a time.

backstage pass to 101 dalmatians: Spot remover is specifically prohibited.

crossdresser glute pads: See your local booty consultant for details.

I’m not well known for my great social skills: Which may explain why you’re on the computer in the middle of the night.

cognitive dissonance at pier 1 imports: It starts with that one item in the store marked “Made in USA.”

middle aged men expect bikini wax: Then let them get it themselves.

sally kern is a nazi: I don’t think she even owns a pair of proper jackboots.

Why was Alfred Kinsey a trailblazer: He was originally drafted by the Celtics, but he couldn’t hit a free throw to save his life, so they traded him to Portland.

paranoia is good for you: Not so loud. Someone might be listening.

Obligatory Rule 34 item: maureen dowd flirting.

Triple duty

CGHill — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 01:51:50 +0000

A man’s gotta do, we are told, what a man’s gotta do, which demonstrates, I suppose, that you can’t keep a good tautology down.

Over at Cobb’s, Maxambit has come to the conclusion that this is what a man’s gotta do:

(1) A man’s first duty is to strengthen his own mind, so he may recognize how institutions and cultures compete to control it and then defend himself.

(2) A man’s second duty is to strive to accumulate sufficient wealth so he and his loved ones will have the resources they’ll need to live freely in the U.S., unencumbered by enslaving debts, discomforting relationships, or unrewarding labor.

(3) A man’s third duty is to do no harm to others who are within his sphere of influence.

I think I am on reasonably-firm ground in saying that most of us will not be equally successful at all three — which does not excuse us from continuing to work at them.

Much more than this

CGHill — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 21:45:18 +0000

What little karaoke I’ve done, I’ve done in New Jersey, more than a thousand miles from home. (I’m not entirely dim.) It might have been even better to have sung in the Philippines, which is even farther away, provided I didn’t sing “My Way”:

The authorities do not know exactly how many people have been killed warbling “My Way” in karaoke bars over the years in the Philippines, or how many fatal fights it has fueled. But the news media have recorded at least half a dozen victims in the past decade and includes them in a subcategory of crime dubbed the “My Way Killings.”

The killings have produced urban legends about the song and left Filipinos groping for answers. Are the killings the natural byproduct of the country’s culture of violence, drinking and machismo? Or is there something inherently sinister in the song?

We will pause for a second while you ponder the idea of an “inherently sinister” English lyric penned by Paul Anka.

One voice instructor in Manila explains it this way:

“I did it my way” — it’s so arrogant. The lyrics evoke feelings of pride and arrogance in the singer, as if you’re somebody when you’re really nobody. It covers up your failures. That’s why it leads to fights.

And, let’s face it, Sinatra was someone with whom you did not mess. Not that any of us are Sinatra.

Let us not, however, assume that karaoke-related killings are unique to the Philippines:

In the past two years alone, a Malaysian man was fatally stabbed for hogging the microphone at a bar and a Thai man killed eight of his neighbors in a rage after they sang John Denver’s “Take Me Home, Country Roads.” Karaoke-related assaults have also occurred in the United States, including at a Seattle bar where a woman punched a man for singing Coldplay’s “Yellow” after criticizing his version.

There have been times when I wanted to punch Coldplay for singing “Yellow,” but that’s neither here nor there. Nor in New Jersey, for that matter.

Best PSA ever?

CGHill — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 18:07:26 +0000

Way better than those “Click It or Ticket” harangues.

(Via Autoblog.)

I want a new non-drug

CGHill — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 15:30:46 +0000

“These statements,” says the label, “have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.”

This particular boilerplate, or variations thereof, appears on all those nutritional supplements they sell in the mall or at the health-food store; if the stuff did make claims, it would be considered a drug and would therefore be subject to tighter FDA scrutiny. And the FDA, cruel and heartless bastards that they are, will expect things like clinical trials and actual evidence of efficacy.

We ourselves are not always so skeptical, it seems:

I love my husband, but he’s so susceptible to believing “medical” advice… EXCEPT what his doctors tell him.

If I stop eating tomatoes and potatoes, my arthritis won’t go away. If my husband starts taking alpha lipoic acid, his type II diabetes won’t be cured. Homeopathic remedies and the people who sell them are worthless.

If it were just my husband, I wouldn’t worry much. But it’s not. It’s seemingly everywhere I turn recently. And so much of the misinformation calls itself science, that one really has to be careful not to be misled.

This calls for a disclosure.

I mentioned last summer that creeping neuropathy was leaving me a tad numb at the toes; I noted at the time that there was no cure.

What I didn’t mention was that I’d been reading all that same quasi-medical stuff, and I decided to try out, just for the hell of it, a bottle of what looks like ground-up shagbark and stray bits of linoleum compressed into green ellipses, the particular combination of which — including, not incidentally, the infamous alpha lipoic acid — is suggested (never “claimed,” of course) to have a salutary effect on such nerve damage.

From Wikipedia:

Lipoic acid has been shown in cell culture experiments to increase cellular uptake of glucose by recruiting the glucose transporter GLUT4 to the cell membrane, suggesting its use in diabetes, although these findings are controversial as lipoic acid worsened the condition of type 1 diabetes induced rats.

Of course, type 1 and type 2 are different as night and, um, well, twilight.

After about 180 of these tabs, I don’t think things have really gotten any better. But they also haven’t gotten any worse, which must be considered a boon for someone with a degenerative disease. Inevitably, this suggests a question: how much of this is due to the actual efficacy of the compound, and how much to the placebo effect? That, I can’t tell you. But if the next question is “Would you pay thirty cents a tab for a really good placebo?” the answer, I suspect, is Yes.

I suppose the next step is the homeopathic route: dissolve one tablet in forty-eight gallons of water, and then take a couple of sips every day.

Different drumsticks

CGHill — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 12:30:26 +0000

Mmm. Pass the fried chicken.

Shooting at the walls of heartache

CGHill — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 06:14:22 +0000

It’s gotta be the halftime instructions. The Thunder trailed Golden State by one after the first quarter, managed to squeak out a two-point lead after the second, and then went up 36-23 in the third en route to a 104-95 win in beautiful downtown Oakland.

Or maybe not. Neither team shot especially well (around 42 percent), and rebounds were pretty even (49-48 OKC). Or you might look at this statistic: the Warriors pulled off a respectable seven steals. Russell Westbrook, all by his lonesome, came up with eight. His teammates had eight more. Golden State, a team which is renowned for its ability to force turnovers, gave up 23 of them, one every two minutes; the Thunder, which isn’t known for brilliant ball control, turned it over only 16 times.

Certainly most of Golden State’s offense was present and accounted for. Monta Ellis was bottled up a bit — thank you, Thabo Sefolosha — but Stephen Curry and Corey Maggette split 47 points between them, and eight of the Warriors’ 23 trey attempts paid off. Inexplicably, they missed eight of 21 free throws.

And here’s a sentence that seems a bit astounding: “Kevin Durant had a below-average 29 points.” Kid Delicious was slow to get started, and only hit 7 of 21 from the floor, but he contributed eight boards to the cause. Westbrook had seven rebounds, 21 points and 10 assists. OKC was 22-24 from the charity stripe and bought six treys in 14 tries. Nick Collison pulled down 10 boards.

So that’s five straight wins for the Weather-Related. There’s one more game on this road trip, against the Frail Blazers (bless you, Basketbawful), who somehow keep winning despite the absence of Greg Oden, Joel Przybilla and Brandon Roy. Either they have the world’s greatest bench or there’s a Rose Garden curse. I think the Lakers believed the latter up until tonight.

The Vent

CGHill — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 03:26:33 +0000

2010

664.  Different drumsticks  (7 February)
663.  Bring on the winter  (1 February)
662.  Fashion statements  (23 January)
661.  Other people’s opinions  (16 January)
660.  Peak turmoil  (9 January)
659.  Thoughts they cannot defend  (1 January)

2009

658.  Unreal estate  (24 December)
657.  Fake Steve on real problems  (15 December)
656.  Something’s wrong  (7 December)
655.  Mike and Christine  (1 December)
654.  Quarterlife  (25 November)
653.  Organ grinding  (16 November)
652.  The Killeen field  (8 November)
651.  Discredit to the race  (1 November)
650.  Illinois abatement  (24 October)
649.  We’ve got the power  (17 October)
648.  She and I  (9 October)
647.  Random rants  (1 October)
646.  The elder statesman  (25 September)
645.  Life sucks, let’s make some art  (17 September)
644.  Hey, sustain this, pal  (8 September)
643.  Your automotive questions answered!  (1 September)
642.  Groping for change  (23 August)
641.  Woodstock: the balance sheet  (17 August)
640.  I don’t get it (part deux)  (9 August)
639.  Deeds done  (1 August)
638.  To your health  (21 July)
637.  Woonerf  (14 July)
636.  He stopped loving her today  (5 July)
635.  On getting one’s hopes up  (1 July)
634.  Uncertainty blows  (22 June)
633.  Two divided by love  (14 June)
632.  Last man standing  (8 June)
631.  A pox on your single-family homes  (1 June)
630.  A unified theory of charity  (24 May)
629.  The train is sane, if mainly sort of plain  (17 May)
628.  You have received 0 calls  (9 May)
627.  Mr. Know-It-All  (1 May)
626.  Federalism 2.0  (23 April)
625.  Beyond our understanding  (12 April)
624.  Blackballing the green  (7 April)
623.  Missing linkage  (1 April)
622.  The runaway American dream  (22 March)
621.  Younger than yesterday  (14 March)
620.  The Rite of Oldfield  (8 March)
619.  I want a new drug  (1 March)
618.  Building cars people want  (23 February)
617.  When do I get my life back?  (15 February)
616.  Now I’m scared  (8 February)
615.  Opening remarks  (1 February)
614.  Thanks, I’ll eat it here  (24 January)
613.  Love for sale  (17 January)
612.  Buyer loyalty  (8 January)
611.  Songs to aging children come  (1 January)

2008

610.  Off the bus  (22 December)
609.  Classification blues  (17 December)
608.  Dear Nancy  (8 December)
607.  That’s me in the corner  (1 December)
606.  LV  (25 November)
605.  The Big Five and me  (17 November)
604.  Onward and rightward  (8 November)
603.  Guide for the annoyed voter  (1 November)
602.  Items from my Wish List  (25 October)
601.  Try new Darwin™ Oven Cleaner  (17 October)
600.  We got your ballot initiatives right here  (6 October)
599.  Oh, it’s for you  (1 October)
598.  Unmerry worth  (23 September)
597.  Simple Simon says slow down  (14 September)
596.  Inspect your gadget  (7 September)
595.  Washington, DC 20500  (1 September)
594.  Wishing and hoping  (24 August)
593.  Train in vain  (17 August)
592.  Ismism  (9 August)
591.  Less weepy  (1 August)
590.  Being Julia  (23 July)
589.  Stores inconvenienced  (14 July)
588.  Concerning those tall guys  (8 July)
587.  Is that so?  (1 July)
586.  Citizen inaction  (24 June)
585.  Capital ideas  (16 June)
584.  Ballad of four dollars  (9 June)
583.  Thoroughly modern malaise  (1 June)
582.  Jack, Ted and me  (25 May)
581.  Drawbridge players  (17 May)
580.  Nearly contemporary  (9 May)
579.  Revisiting the character issue  (1 May)
578.  Welcome to the wake  (23 April)
577.  On being bitter  (15 April)
576.  Even dozen  (9 April)
575.  For sale: one life  (1 April)
574.  A sliver of faith  (23 March)
573.  I don’t get it  (16 March)
572.  Every breath you take  (8 March)
571.  Red dots and black spots  (1 March)
570.  The place has space  (22 February)
569.  This old heart of mine  (14 February)
568.  Straw: penultimate plus one  (8 February)
567.  Wandering in Obama Nation  (1 February)
566.  Eternal Revenue  (21 January)
565.  The thing with feathers is flighty  (14 January)
564.  A meth lab would be easier  (7 January)
563.  Repeating myself  (1 January)

2007

562.  Chasing the big leagues  (24 December)
561.  The lure of the inner circle  (16 December)
560.  I love you, now power down  (9 December)
559.  14:40 or fight  (1 December)
558.  Random birthday references  (25 November)
557.  Signing up  (17 November)
556.  The Sonics affair  (7 November)
555.  Filling in the blanks  (1 November)
554.  Avoiding obsolescence  (23 October)
553.  Older yet no wiser  (15 October)
552.  Stressbusters  (8 October)
551.  More hits, more often  (1 October)
550.  Smog and other four-letter words  (23 September)
549.  Getting over the Benz  (16 September)
548.  Only the young die good  (9 September)
547.  The Perspective is Total  (1 September)
546.  Shadow of the Repo Man  (25 August)
545.  Ahem  (16 August)
544.  A whole new D word  (8 August)
543.  Hegemonic distortion  (1 August)
542.  Dead in the water  (25 July)
541.  Random road thoughts  (17 July)
540.  Damns ungiven  (9 July)
539.  Of eggs and baskets  (1 July)
538.  The “Summer of Love”  (23 June)
537.  Through twelve payments  (17 June)
536.  Fake plastic trees  (10 June)
535.  G whizzing  (1 June)
534.  Depends  (23 May)
533.  10 things I hate about you  (14 May)
532.  The girl in the locker room  (7 May)
531.  Silent screen  (1 May)
530.  All I want for Christmas is a howitzer  (23 April)
529.  All you zombies  (16 April)
528.  Some actual Democratic reforms  (7 April)
527.  Blue-oval blues  (1 April)
526.  True confessions  (24 March)
525.  Advice to the General  (16 March)
524.  Paradigms loused  (7 March)
523.  If you see me getting smaller  (1 March)
522.  Dating across the aisle  (24 February)
521.  Quick and dirty position paper  (16 February)
520.  We’ve been railroaded  (8 February)
519.  A little less understanding  (1 February)
518.  Rethinking things in the O.C.  (22 January)
517.  A soul whose intentions are good  (15 January)
516.  Color me irritated  (8 January)
515.  How many snarks in a boojum?  (1 January)

2006

514.  Stuff I’ve done  (22 December)
513.  A roof over my head  (16 December)
512.  Seventeen reasons  (8 December)
511.  Solitary man  (1 December)
510.  Revised inventory  (25 November)
509.  Snap out of it  (17 November)
508.  Random election thoughts  (9 November)
507.  Being watched  (1 November)
506.  Mallets aforethought  (24 October)
505.  Four out of four  (16 October)
504.  Pretty damn good, actually  (8 October)
503.  A time for generosity  (1 October)
502.  Four-part yawp  (24 September)
501.  What you see is what you get  (17 September)
500.  The return of Grinch Neutron  (9 September)
499.  Got anything for congestion?  (1 September)
498.  Vermont needs sunblock  (23 August)
497.  Signs of stupidity  (14 August)
496.  A sense of proportion  (8 August)
495.  Unmoved  (1 August)
494.  Sneering at the Reaper  (24 July)
493.  Not Super, but heroes  (16 July)
492.  Executing executives  (8 July)
491.  The sound of silence  (1 July)
490.  How (not) to buy a car  (22 June)
489.  Verse, free and otherwise  (16 June)
488.  An awful lot of solitaire  (9 June)
487.  Songs in the key of me  (1 June)
486.  A unified theory of driving  (21 May)
485.  The Democrats order something domestic  (14 May)
484.  Gas pains  (8 May)
483.  It’s another freaking clip show  (1 May)
482.  Position paper  (23 April)
481.  Getting off the Envy Express  (15 April)
480.  Rabbit transient  (8 April)
479.  Closure finds an opening  (1 April)
478.  Charles in charge, so to speak  (23 March)
477.  The once and future Hornets  (13 March)
476.  Introducing Oklahoma FetusTrak™  (6 March)
475.  Piecework  (1 March)
474.  Can’t buy me love  (20 February)
473.  The man with the books  (13 February)
472.  Things I’d like to see  (8 February)
471.  Just one of the guys  (1 February)
470.  The element of surprise  (22 January)
469.  They said they want a revolution  (15 January)
468.  All the plastic I can stand  (7 January)
467.  SWAGs for the new year  (1 January)

2005

466.  Retirement: myth or chimera?  (25 December)
465.  The sports vegetable  (17 December)
464.  Monkeying with awards  (9 December)
463.  Love unseen (the finale?)  (1 December)
462.  Fifty-two pickup  (25 November)
461.  Parting gift  (18 November)
460.  MoDo and me  (7 November)
459.  So-called “inclusionary zoning”  (1 November)
458.  Some call it “news”  (22 October)
457.  Knocking on Heaven’s door  (16 October)
456.  Answering the unasked  (8 October)
455.  Love unseen (an unexpected sequel)  (1 October)
454.  With 2008 in mind  (22 September)
453.  Let’s play Duopoly  (15 September)
452.  Don’t even say it  (8 September)
451.  To miss New Orleans  (1 September)
450.  Poll axe  (23 August)
449.  Escaping a black hole  (14 August)
448.  A lover who won’t drive her crazy  (5 August)
447.  Indulge me  (1 August)
446.  Spending my Lotto winnings  (24 July)
445.  Love unseen  (16 July)
444.  On being a hick  (8 July)
443.  Why I don’t teach  (1 July)
442.  The postwar era  (23 June)
441.  Ten over  (16 June)
440.  Doing without  (8 June)
439.  Staking a claim  (1 June)
438.  Samantha and me  (22 May)
437.  It’s a freaking clip show  (15 May)
436.  I fought the lawn and the lawn won  (7 May)
435.  Those were then, these are now  (1 May)
434.  Local environmental concerns  (25 April)
433.  Downtown  (19 April)
432.  Number 9…  (9 April)
431.  Medium dudgeon  (1 April)
430.  A “living won’t”  (23 March)
429.  Notes from a darkened room  (16 March)
428.  Look through any window  (9 March)
427.  Masters of eminent domain  (1 March)
426.  Traffic duty now for the future  (22 February)
425.  The dancer and the bird  (15 February)
424.  Brown shoes don’t make it  (8 February)
423.  Be vewy qwiet, we’re hunting wevenues  (1 February)
422.  When it’s time for Roe to go  (23 January)
421.  The changing face of Capitol Hill  (15 January)
420.  Janu-weary  (9 January)
419.  The year in review  (1 January)

2004

418.  Shut up and write the check  (22 December)
417.  Tales of a city  (16 December)
416.  Moderately centered  (8 December)
415.  Did I say that?  (1 December)
414.  NYC vs. OKC  (24 November)
413.  Adding preservatives  (14 November)
412.  Thou shalt buy health insurance  (7 November)
411.  What are you wearing?  (1 November)
410.  Answering the state questions  (23 October)
409.  1979 and all that  (17 October)
408.  Pricing the sacred tablets  (9 October)
407.  Vioxxic shock  (1 October)
406.  Less of me  (24 September)
405.  Chat-room jackassery  (15 September)
404.  The call of the road  (8 September)
403.  Good girls don’t  (1 September)
402.  Why radio sucks  (22 August)
401.  Waiting: the hardest part?  (17 August)
400.  Four hundred  (9 August)
399.  Position paper  (1 August)
398.  Dressed for the Party  (22 July)
397.  Halfway cultured  (14 July)
396.  White on white, lace on satin  (7 July)
395.  Questionable joints  (1 July)
394.  TV or not TV  (24 June)
393.  Looking to the sky  (15 June)
392.  Goodbye, Dutch  (8 June)
391.  Cracking a smile  (1 June)
390.  Stitchless  (24 May)
389.  There’s always another moron  (15 May)
388.  Not down with G.O.P.  (9 May)
387.  Hurt so bad  (1 May)
386.  The two-TrackBacked beast  (23 April)
385.  Some call it “democracy”  (15 April)
384.  The bronze age  (9 April)
383.  It’s still cheap gas  (1 April)
382.  Is there a “soul mate”?  (19 March)
381.  Rating the road warriors  (15 March)
380.  Big boardroom bucks  (9 March)
379.  Going unheard  (1 March)
378.  Our next mayor  (21 February)
377.  A case against Section 8  (16 February)
376.  All alone am I  (8 February)
375.  Flakier than a biscuit  (1 February)
374.  Created equal  (25 January)
373.  A Democrat adrift  (19 January)
372.  Scams R Them  (9 January)
371.  Starting all over again  (1 January)

2003

370.  Home at last  (26 December)
369.  Splendor in the crass  (16 December)
368.  Ten years in the making  (7 December)
367.  Phone-y baloney  (1 December)
366.  L  (25 November)
365.  Rejecting the New Urbanism  (17 November)
364.  Countdown for the Democrats  (9 November)
363.  Fallible memory  (1 November)
362.  Why buy now?  (25 October)
361.  It’s a clean machine  (18 October)
360.  Looking for a home  (10 October)
359.  Things to do  (1 October)
358.  Dear MasterCard  (23 September)
357.  Such a jealous guy  (18 September)
356.  Get over it, they say  (11 September)
355.  Spam, spam, spam  (1 September)
354.  Do I love where I live?  (23 August)
353.  Why textbooks suck  (16 August)
352.  Fearful symmetry  (8 August)
351.  Losing a second sister  (1 August)
350.  Small-town self-preservation  (24 July)
349.  Two girls for one confused boy  (13 July)
348.  The classical biz  (8 July)
347.  When you walk in the room  (1 July)
346.  Hardware lust  (24 June)
345.  If I were a rich man  (15 June)
344.  Raging at the road  (8 June)
343.  Forward into the past  (1 June)
342.  FCC tinkering  (25 May)
341.  Dabbling in romance  (18 May)
340.  My prayer  (8 May)
339.  Two of us  (1 May)
338.  250,000 words — for what?  (24 April)
337.  Junk from Jesse Jr.  (17 April)
336.  It was seven years ago today  (9 April)
335.  A letter from a fool  (1 April)
334.  Portrait of a dying shopping center  (24 March)
333.  Why are we here?  (16 March)
332.  Finding drive at Consumer Reports  (8 March)
331.  Fear of moving  (1 March)
330.  A bend in the long and winding road  (22 February)
329.  The Burdon of self-reinvention  (14 February)
328.  Click here at your peril  (8 February)
327.  Super-duper Mini Cooper  (1 February)
326.  I’m entitled, dammit  (24 January)
325.  Still using that greasy Vent stuff  (17 January)
324.  Sliding rightward  (8 January)
323.  Pessimized for maximum efficiency  (1 January)

2002

322.  Hue and cry  (22 December)
321.  Wavelengths, then and now  (14 December)
320.  Porn: just a four-letter word?  (8 December)
319.  Beyond the Terrible Twos  (1 December)
318.  Facing the final fear  (25 November)
317.  The words (and paper) of Jenk Jones  (17 November)
316.  The Rime of the Ancient Democrat  (9 November)
315.  Taking the initiatives  (1 November)
314.  Sandy turns two, sort of  (19 October)
313.  Found on road, dead  (15 October)
312.  Summer of Love plus 35  (8 October)
311.  Credit for Mr Tsuris  (1 October)
310.  Riding the Diversity Train  (22 September)
309.  Creeping agoraphobia  (16 September)
308.  The chain stops here  (8 September)
307.  Living on Central time  (1 September)
306.  Response to a diatribe  (19 August)
305.  Survey says (Part Deux)  (13 August)
304.  Bazaar musings  (9 August)
303.  The Proust Questionnaire  (1 August)
302.  Things I like  (26 July)
301.  Last exit before toll  (15 July)
300.  On the subject of women  (6 July)
299.  DaimlerChrysler comes down with the Benz  (1 July)
298.  The hidden cost of competence  (23 June)
297.  Do we need more bloggers?  (15 June)
296.  Joni is forty  (8 June)
295.  Insensible, dispensible me  (1 June)
294.  A waist is a terrible thing to mind  (24 May)
293.  And tell Tchaikovsky the news  (16 May)
292.  The view from north of Mulholland  (8 May)
291.  The ballad of Sewer City  (1 May)
290.  The Left opts for irrelevance  (21 April)
289.  The bloggers and me  (14 April)
288.  Now we are six  (9 April)
287.  In search of a stable Middle East  (1 April)
286.  No help from McCain-Feingold  (24 March)
285.  Highway star  (16 March)
284.  Lessons learned from engineers  (9 March)
283.  The George Bailey experiment  (1 March)
282.  Briefly noted: the sequel  (23 February)
281.  The Sixties and me  (15 February)
280.  Oh, what a lovely war  (9 February)
279.  Topical paradise  (1 February)
278.  Is it all Mom’s fault?  (24 January)
277.  Off the road with Jim Hightower  (17 January)
276.  Retiring and shy  (9 January)
275.  From host to host  (1 January)

2001

274.  The gift that used to be  (25 December)
273.  Land of 1000 stances  (18 December)
272.  Caught in the mailstrom  (8 December)
271.  All things must pass  (1 December)
270.  Occupational therapy  (25 November)
269.  Everybody must get stones  (17 November)
268.  Come in, Five-O  (8 November)
267.  NOW and “equal time”  (1 November)
266.  Thistle while you work  (24 October)
265.  Twelve months in a 626  (18 October)
264.  Red ink, white and blue  (9 October)
263.  Life after Prodigy  (1 October)
262.  Survey says  (23 September)
261.  On the third day  (13 September)
260.  Less than best-laid plans  (9 September)
259.  Wrung around the collar  (1 September)
258.  Life’s illusions I recall  (26 August)
257.  Saving General Motors  (18 August)
256.  The urge to merge  (9 August)
255.  It’s a living, sorta  (1 August)
254.  Two paths diverged  (23 July)
253.  If 6 was 9  (16 July)
252.  Tour de farce  (8 July)
251.  Scream freeze  (1 July)
250.  Defending the SUV  (23 June)
249.  Old yolks at home  (17 June)
248.  In a CD part of town  (10 June)
247.  Installation row  (1 June)
246.  Crisis? What crisis?  (23 May)
245.  Enlightenment strikes  (15 May)
244.  Wiener rap  (8 May)
243.  Getting testy  (1 May)
242.  Scenes from the boondocks  (21 April)
241.  The Addr caper  (14 April)
240.  Semi-decadent  (9 April)
239.  All in the (extended) family  (1 April)
238.  Free advice  (23 March)
237.  Shamefully yours  (16 March)
236.  Consumer retorts  (9 March)
235.  Political jock itch  (1 March)
234.  Wheels of misfortune  (25 February)
233.  2-4-6-8, everybody litigate  (14 February)
232.  W. tosses me a coin  (9 February)
231.  By design  (1 February)
230.  The ultimate tax cut  (25 January)
229.  One more last letter  (17 January)
228.  On Car and Driver  (8 January)
227.  Don’t hold your breath  (1 January)

2000

226.  Three memories  (25 December)
225.  Dubya pleasure  (16 December)
224.  I am he as you are he  (8 December)
223.  Credo  (1 December)
222.  Taking inventory  (25 November)
221.  In memory of Brenda  (18 November)
220.  Winter blues  (9 November)
219.  Sandy settles in  (1 November)
218.  Sitting on the fence  (22 October)
217.  Inarticulate speech of the heart  (8 October)
216.  The check is in the mail  (2 October)
215.  Government snooping — privatized?  (1 October)
214.  Some Babbling about DOS  (24 September)
213.  Driven away from Nader  (15 September)
212.  Like, so mature  (8 September)
211.  It’s not easy voting Green  (1 September)
210.  Mettle fatigue  (22 August)
209.  A dollop of polyps  (15 August)
208.  Dowager hunt  (6 August)
207.  Sing a song of Oman  (1 August)
206.  This land of broken dreams  (24 July)
205.  On golden calves (and shins)  (15 July)
204.  What’s wrong with Mazda?  (4 July)
203.  The cussedness of customers  (1 July)
202.  Colon contemplation  (26 June)
201.  These fuelish things  (17 June)
200.  Hits and misses  (9 June)
199.  The Marquis of Mercury rules  (1 June)
198.  The War on Guns  (22 May)
197.  Flirting for fun and degradation  (15 May)
196.  A touch of truckulence  (8 May)
195.  thissucks.com  (1 May)
194.  With this ring  (23 April)
193.  Only a pawn in their game  (16 April)
192.  A neighborhood undarkened  (9 April)
191.  An unhealthy obsession  (1 April)
190.  For want of a ring  (24 March)
189.  Primary improvements?  (15 March)
188.  Marriage redefined  (6 March)
187.  Fringe with no benefits  (1 March)
186.  A modest abortion proposal  (20 February)
185.  In need of bodywork  (15 February)
184.  Briefly noted  (7 February)
183.  Odds are  (1 February)
182.  Ticker shock  (23 January)
181.  My own personal agenda  (18 January)
180.  The GOP cranks it up  (9 January)
179.  So what’s so urgent?  (1 January)

1999

178.  2000: A Space For Idiocy  (26 December)
177.  The Santa Claus monopoly  (18 December)
176.  Gunfire at Fort Gibson  (8 December)
175.  Houses of the halfway  (1 December)
174.  Has Jesse Jackson lost it?  (23 November)
173.  Finding continuity  (11 November)
172.  Dying inside  (7 November)
171.  Romantic delusions  (1 November)
170.  Driving through a loophole  (24 October)
169.  Myth vs. Microsoft  (16 October)
168.  Fees to meet you  (9 October)
167.  Quayle ascendant  (1 October)
166.  Missed opportunities  (24 September)
165.  Semper lo-fi  (17 September)
164.  Molly, one year later  (9 September)
163.  Picturing Stereo Review  (1 September)
162.  Divvying up the surplus  (22 August)
161.  Straw polls in the wind  (15 August)
160.  The so-called “email tax”  (8 August)
159.  White men can’t spew?  (1 August)
158.  Musings on JFK, Jr.  (25 July)
157.  White Knight at the Black Tower  (18 July)
156.  More stations, fewer owners  (9 July)
155.  Balancing supply and demand  (1 July)
154.  Don’t play that song!  (22 June)
153.  Manson takes on Littleton  (14 June)
152.  Artificial unintelligence  (7 June)
151.  Starting to let go  (1 June)
150.  Sweeps, then leftovers  (24 May)
149.  Where the dweebs are  (16 May)
148.  Press F5 to decimate  (9 May)
147.  Schmucks, Sooner style  (1 May)
146.  The bidder and the sweet  (25 April)
145.  That Saturday, that spring  (19 April)
144.  Three years of this  (9 April)
143.  Freedom of shrieks  (1 April)
142.  Balkanized again  (25 March)
141.  Mixed emotions  (17 March)
140.  Sticker schlock  (9 March)
139.  Clinton vs. Giuliani?  (1 March)
138.  Ebert without Siskel  (21 February)
137.  Headline Hustler  (15 February)
136.  This is not a valentine  (7 February)
135.  Trust us  (1 February)
134.  Prodigy Classic fades away  (24 January)
133.  Clouded crystal  (17 January)
132.  You call this news?  (8 January)
131.  Weakened worrier  (1 January)

1998

130.  Counting down to 15 minutes  (26 December)
129.  One last letter  (19 December)
128.  Teenaged at thirty-two  (9 December)
127.  In the realm of the Census  (1 December)
126.  Future tense  (25 November)
125.  Disconnecting the Speaker  (17 November)
124.  Molly and me  (10 November)
123.  An excess of virtue  (4 November)
122.  Unexpected green  (25 October)
121.  Distended warranty  (15 October)
120.  Political neckstrain  (9 October)
119.  Deficit attention disorder  (1 October)
118.  Unmotivated voters  (26 September)
117.  Servile rights  (17 September)
116.  Deals on wheels  (8 September)
115.  A very low-key campaign  (1 September)
114.  Convenient fictions  (24 August)
113.  A power play  (18 August)
112.  Summer surprises  (9 August)
111.  Presidential stains  (1 August)
110.  Crazy from the heat  (25 July)
109.  One pill makes you larger  (17 July)
108.  Point of View-ed  (10 July)
107.  The extinction of Eagle  (1 July)
106.  Steven Brill and Content  (22 June)
105.  The heat from global warming  (15 June)
104.  Overhead scams  (“World Currency Cartel”)  (7 June)
103.  Local radio, wherever that is  (1 June)
102.  Forever, Incorporated  (25 May)
101.  Who wants to know?  (18 May)
100.  The century mark  (10 May)
  99.  Dawn (go away?)  (1 May)
  98.  TFM and how to R  (25 April)
  97.  Murrah plus three  (19 April)
  96.  Litigation 101  (9 April)
  95.  Dummies and dumber  (1 April)
  94.  Private vs Social Security  (23 March)
  93.  Martyr, he wrote  (16 March)
  92.  20 years of LaserDisc  (9 March)
  91.  Non-politicians  (1 March)
  90.  Iraq and a hard place  (22 February)
  89.  And the winner is  (15 February)
  88.  One step forward, one step down  (8 February)
  87.  Karla Faye Tucker  (1 February)
  86.  I witness news no more  (25 January)
  85.  Bucking the IMF  (18 January)
  84.  Seeing wed  (9 January)
  83.  Not rated  (1 January)

1997

  82.  Back to Beta  (20 December)
  81.  Unto us is born…  (14 December)
  80.  The buying game  (7 December)
  79.  The deal on McBeal  (1 December)
  78.  Two score and four  (23 November)
  77.  Congress calls it a day  (16 November)
  76.  O me of little faith  (8 November)
  75.  Stairway to heaven  (1 November)
  74.  Blows against the Empire  (25 October)
  73.  Meet the Beetles  (18 October)
  72.  A better way to buy votes  (8 October)
  71.  Resisting standards  (1 October)
  70.  The future on Channel 62  (22 September)
  69.  Miss America, indeed  (15 September)
  68.  Farewell, English Rose  (8 September)
  67.  Thoughts on Labor Day  (1 September)
  66.  A trip to Coldwater Creek  (24 August)
  65.  Three groups, zero clues  (17 August)
  64.  Applesauce for Bill  (10 August)
  63.  Bipartisan?  (1 August)
  62.  Block that kid  (26 July)
  61.  4th rock from the sun  (16 July)
  60.  The righteous pervert  (7 July)
  59.  Hardly working  (1 July)
  58.  Sheep vs Mouse  (22 June)
  57.  Do you, Mr Jones?  (15 June)
  56.  A three-ring media circus  (8 June)
  55.  Boiling point  (1 June)
  54.  How I spent my weekend  (25 May)
  53.  Smile, you’re on Caller ID  (17 May)
  52.  Growing up at high speed  (11 May)
  51.  An outing with Ellen  (1 May)
  50.  Gag me with an order  (24 April)
  49.  1 for you, 19 for me  (15 April)
  48.  One year on  (7 April)
  47.  Believe it some more  (1 April)
  46.  Believe it  (24 March)
  45.  Erratic censor readings  (17 March)
  44.  If it moves, tax it  (8 March)
  43.  Is spring sprung?  (2 March)
  42.  A question of balance  (24 February)
  41.  TV-BFD  (16 February)
  40.  End of the Z era  (9 February)
  39.  The D words  (1 February)
  38.  Correspondingly beautiful  (25 January)
  37.  Hey, hey, Paula  (16 January)
  36.  The white stuff  (8 January)
  35.  At least it’s over  (1 January)

1996

  34.  Tears for fears  (23 December)
  33.  Something not to worry about  (16 December)
  32.  Suck-y writing  (7 December)
  31.  Land of the Fledgling Women  (30 November)
  30.  No thanks  (25 November)
  29.  Stuff “B” Costly  (16 November)
  28.  The smoke having cleared  (9 November)
  27.  Can we avoid this in 2000?  (29 October)
  26.  Campaign-finance reform  (20 October)
  25.  Climate uncontrolled  (14 October)
  24.  Prohibition redux  (10 October)
  23.  Perot and the debates  (30 September)
  22.  Bob, approaching Bill-hood  (20 September)
  21.  Electric youth, unplugged  (10 September)
  20.  The next Bad Law  (1 September)
  19.  Smokes for the kiddies  (25 August)
  18.  Insufficient writer’s block  (17 August)
  17.  Geeze  (11 August)
  16.  Welfare deform  (3 August)
  15.  Keating for Vice-President?  (27 July)
  14.  The spectre of Reform  (20 July)
  13.  Lunch meat, it ain’t  (9 July)
  12.  TV at its purest  (21 June)
  11.  Other ill-tempered wretches  (16 June)
  10.  Soonerland follies  (9 June)
    9.  The real character issue  (1 June)
    8.  Amendment 2: good riddance  (22 May)
    7.  New life in old Dole  (18 May)
    6.  Ducking controversies  (11 May)
    5.  A political gas shortage?  (1 May)
    4.  Cyberthis, cyberthat  (26 April)
    3.  Don’t call me, Ishmael  (19 April)
    2.  Market Yahoo(s)  (13 April)
    1.  Keeping the bombing alive  (9 April)

Um, the what?

First quarter

CGHill — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 23:10:36 +0000

Last time we heard anything about Crossroads Mall, on the city’s south side, was when word got out that it had become the property of the Fed. At the time, I said basically one word: “Bulldozers.”

Now I’m not so sure. As is often the case with malls, while smaller stores paid rent to mall management, the anchor stores owned their sections outright. And one of the departed anchors has managed to find a buyer: Macy’s last month spun off its share of the property to something called Crossroads/150 LLC, for a tidy $1.5 million.

This particular something, reports OKCBiz, is managed by Richard Tanenbaum, who says he plans to retain it as an investment property. And I can’t really argue with him on this:

“It’s not the time to be buying anything,” Tanenbaum said with a laugh, “but, my goodness gracious, at 10 bucks a foot … It’s just one of those deals that you just can’t pass up.”

So: one down, three to go. Crossroads Maiden Lane LLC, the Fed’s entity, owns two of the anchor slots — JCPenney and Montgomery Ward (later Steve & Barry’s) — while Dillard’s retains their location.

I still can’t imagine what might happen to this place that would make it profitable, but I still am loath to bet against Richard Tanenbaum.

One step, a head

CGHill — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 19:06:19 +0000

The first time I saw this, it set off my Misandry Alert: “Is this sexist or what?”

After a second look, I’m not so sure. I mean, if that young fellow is being oppressed, he certainly seems to be enjoying himself. Although we can’t tell for sure what’s going on outside the frame, I think it’s a safe bet that she’s not actually standing on his head. And it’s not like he’s looking up her skirt, either.

Compared to the general run of fashion advertising, this is a bright spot, says the intrepid correspondent for ShoeBlog:

I am weary of the pouting, leggy girl, wearing nothing more than lingerie, heels and a come hither look, sitting or laying on a sofa/chair, with soft focus. Virtually every shoe, handbag, fragrance, lingerie, and cosmetic advertisement features at least three of these components. Snore.

The shoe, incidentally, is from Giuseppe Zanotti’s Spring 2010 collection. I have a basic philosophical disagreement with stuff like this — boots, to me, imply protection, utterly contradicted by the open toe — but it does seem to satisfy one of my criteria for interesting footwear, which is “Can I imagine someone wearing this to XO, assuming XO were still open?” (Snarkists who question my urban-hipster credentials, and that should include all of you, are directed here.)

Quote of the week

CGHill — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 15:45:39 +0000

Excerpts from Megan McArdle’s Quarterly Plea for Comment Thread Civility, not necessarily in the original order:

Many people wander into the other half of the Blogosphere having carefully nurtured a plethora of witty responses to the straw man arguments that flourish in the echo chambers of both the liberal and conservative press. They are therefore expecting that as soon as they have shone the cold light of reason on the ridiculous notions of those rubes on the other side, all but the mean-spirited and vicious among them will immediately see the error of their ways. When they find out that those people have real live reasons for believing as they do, often bolstered by real live facts, they are hurt. This is not what they expected. They feel surprised, and somehow betrayed. At this juncture, they often choose to go on the offensive, name calling and writing sarcastic, bombastic screeds which often seem to center around the silliest and most biased material available to their side, yet are shocked to find out that libertarians are, for some reason, unconvinced by the latest publications from the CSPI. Often, defending their initial assertions against angles they hadn’t, in their previous hothouse environment, really considered, leads them to take increasingly extreme positions in defense of their original unnuanced view, until having found themselves arguing that in order to, say, prevent abortions we should take down the name and phone number of anyone who ever paused in front of a Planned Parenthood Clinic and then hunt them down and shoot them, they flounce away after declaring that everyone on the site is a bunch of ignorant [expletive deleted] who kill babies for fun. If you find yourself caught in this cycle, I have news for you: they’re not the ignorant [expletive deleted] here.

Other behavior by said ignorant [expletive deleted]:

No one gets to pick some time in the distant past when everyone was right, and declare that they draw their moral authority from the denizens of that halcyon era. The fifties and the sixties are over, folks. If your idea can’t stand on its own now, its popular history won’t help it.

So are the thirties, now that I think about it.

And finally:

And fer gosh sakes, will you get out a little more? The sureness of your own ineluctable moral superiority, of the venal stupidity of the other side, of the patent weakness of the opposition’s arguments and moral fiber, is a little tiresome. Cruise around and see what the other side has to say. Then attack them. Nicely, of course. Really, it saves a lot of trouble putting words in the mouths of straw men when you can probably find some idiot somewhere who said pretty much the same thing, and think of how much less typing you’ll do.

Despite its TL;DR capacity, I urge you to read the whole thing — and the subsequent comments, which for the most part do not sound the least bit chastened.

Also known as Scammy McScammer

CGHill — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 13:18:04 +0000

In Friday morning’s email:

This letter is from World Fund Discovery Management And Payment Bureau inaugurated by the World Financial Service Authority United States Of America/United Kingdom.

This body was set up to discover an outstanding fund being owed to Governments or Individuals all over the world through Contract Payment, Inheritance and Lottery Winning Prize Awards.

This body has been authorized to investigate and make the subsequent payment to any government, organization or individual, to whom its services apply. During our investigation, we discovered an outstanding sum of money in favour of your name and a mandate has been given to this body: World Fund Discovery Management And Payment Bureau to ensure that this fund gets to you without any further delay.

And you’ll have funds, funds, funds, till the scammers take your dollars away.

The only really distinctive aspect of this attempt is the name fabricated for the Director: Dr. Richard McWealth. Seriously. This is about as believable as a male-enhancement product being offered by Miles O. Johnson.

Yet another bad habit (sigh)

CGHill — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 02:30:19 +0000

Syaffolee would like an explanation: “What is the rationale for putting a facial expression in parentheses?”

Putting (grin) or (smile) at the end of a paragraph or sentence does not make one look more literate or correct. True, both (grin) and : D are shorthands for those who are afraid that all readers will take them the wrong way*, but I would argue that writing an expression within parenthesis is also an indication of pretension and being not with it. At best, one could assume that the browser had a hiccup when trying to render an emoticon. At worst, it’s like claiming a porcelain toilet as po-mo art or orange Kool-Aid as the nihilist’s Minute Maid.

* Rule of thumb: Always assume that your words will be taken the wrong way.

Most of the nihilists I know prefer Tropicana, but that’s neither here nor there. Anyway:

This type of written affectation is pointless. Get rid of the wordy facial expressions in your communications and I’m sure people will still get the general gist of your comment. If you really want to smile and grin your way through the internet, upload a video of yourself to YouTube.

Note to self: “Hitler discovers the emoticon.”

Oh, wait…

Non-broken accelerator

CGHill — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 23:02:48 +0000

Robert Stacy McCain is reporting in from Birmingham, Alabama, and he notes in passing:

785 miles in 15 hours, including a two-hour nap in the car this morning at a rest area near Bristol, Tenn…

Which, of course, means 785 miles in 13 hours, including at least one, maybe two fuel stops, unless he’s bolted some Mondo Mobil auxiliary gas tank into that Kia Optima of his. I’m guessing he took I-81 down to Bristol and picked up US 11 there.

Relevant only to me: One of the first assignments dished out to me when I was a newlywed was to get rid of my devilish six-cylinder ‘66 Chevrolet. One of the replacements under consideration was a three-year-old Mercedes-Benz 240D with just about six figures on its odometer: the owner, a physician in a small city up towards Kansas, had retrofitted it with just such a tank. At the Benz’s typical 30 mpg, we were told, the car could do over 1300 miles on a single fillup of diesel. Downside: half the trunk space had been recouped for fuel storage, and zero to sixty was quoted in fortnights. We wound up with, of all things, another Chevy, this time with a proper small-block V8. It became her car; I wound up with a Toyota I’ve mentioned before.

Still, can you imagine McCain with a thousand-mile range? Because he can, you damn betcha.

The evolution will not be televised

CGHill — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 20:31:38 +0000

In fact, we often don’t even know when it’s happening at all:

The King demoiselle (Chrysipetra rex) is not just one type of fish, but three distinct groups that recently split from each other, according to a new study.

Samples from three separate populations were sent to Joshua Drew, a marine conservation biologist at the Field Museum of Natural History in Chicago, and this is what he found:

In his lab, Drew analyzed the samples for three genes — one that has evolved slowly, and two that have changed rapidly through time. His results showed a clear pattern: The genes that have changed quickly look different from one geographical group to the next, indicating that the groups only recently began to split.

“That means that this little fish we thought was broadly distributed has a mosaic of individual populations and each one is genetically distinct,” said Drew, whose study has been accepted for publication in the journal Coral Reefs. “That highlights how little we really know about how biodiversity on Earth is distributed.”

Question: Since coral reefs generally seem to be in suboptimal condition these days, does this mean we have maybe three times as many species with endangered habitats as we thought we did?

(Seen at Jenn’s.)