Buckeyes wide open

In the November Road & Track, Jack Baruth and Sam Smith get to wander Ohio with a Porsche 918 and a Ferrari LaFerrari, and Baruth was delighted at doing all this wandering close to home:

In Los Angeles, you see these cars run by people who tint the windows and scowl if you look at them. That whole aristocratic attitude where it’s death to touch the duke’s horse. That wouldn’t fly in Ohio. Everybody thinks they’re just as good as you are, and they’ll come right up and talk to you.

In the end, I think Porsche and Ferrari need a percentage of buyers who actually use the cars. It keeps them honest. There will always be a market for half-finished, high-priced junk that some prince can keep in his living room. But the prestige attached to these marques is dependent on keeping the respect of the old-school customers.

To which Smith added:

If you can’t keep doing business with those guys, you’re basically Louis Vuitton selling wheeled luggage.

And ridiculously expensive wheeled luggage at that.

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Canonical snack

Between meals yesterday: not even close to a handful of Organic Raw Walnuts ($4.85 for 3.5 ounces from Tierra Farm, Valatie, New York). First thought: how much is that per pound? (A shade over $22.) More amusing was this warning on the bottom:

“Contains tree nuts. May contain shell fragments.”

I knew some guys in the Army who seemed to be nuts, though it never occurred to me to ask if they contained shell fragments.

Also in the shipment: dried apple rings, and two varieties of raisins, one of them covered in dark chocolate.

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Well, you did ask

Baked beans, we assume, are off:

Spam ad dismissed as spam

In fact, I’d go so far as to say that it looks like Spam®.

(From reddit via Miss Cellania.)

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Aw, heck, why not?

I mean, he chose the persona:

And apparently it wasn’t entirely parental pressure, either:

The Backstory: Our 5 yo daughter had no costume. We said: How about HRC? Daughter: Nope. Son: Well someone’s gotta be Hillary! @HFA #Proud

(Via Tim Blair, who says this is a contender for Saddest Thing of All Time.)

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As originally scheduled

Even though some small chain eatery secured a trademark on the term “Taco Tuesday,” it’s become a tradition of sorts all over the nation plus Canterlot High School. It occurred to me more than once while I was hospitalized that I wasn’t in any position to observe this particular tradition, and hadn’t been since mid-June. Came the first of November, and dammit, I decided, I’m going to have a Taco Tuesday.

I’d done this often enough in the past to have developed a routine, and at its peak it was possible for me to dish up twelve decently-stuffed tacos for somewhere around nine bucks. Not that I have any business eating 12 tacos, but reducing recipes is so disheartening. After four months out of practice, I hadn’t forgotten anything; but my wondrously annoying mobility issues made the production, which requires lots of movement around the kitchen, more difficult than I imagined, and cleanup, never fun, was even less so.

I admit to one shortcut: instead of slicing sections off a head of iceberg lettuce, I bought a bag of pre-shredded, and used about 40 percent of it. (Other veggies and trimmings were handled in the traditional manner.) This pushed the batch price closer to $10, but I spent nearly $10 yesterday at Popeye’s, and you’re not hearing me complain about them. Still, it may be a while before I try this again: it certainly won’t be next Tuesday, unless I suddenly take a turn for the better, which strikes me as highly unlikely.

This would be the ideal time to serve up Spike Jones’ 1956 single “16 Tacos,” were it out there to be served up. Alas, it is not.

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Antonia

I throw in this gratuitous poster from ought-five mostly to tell you that someone who can make me not notice Cameron Diaz is probably pretty darn remarkable. (Note: I never did get to see the film, though I did read the Jennifer Weiner novel on which it’s based.)

Poster for In Her Shoes

That said, Toni Collette has put together a pretty solid body of work since Spotswood and Muriel’s Wedding in the 1990s. Then again, she’s always been good at grabbing the spotlight:

Toni Collette once told an interviewer: “I used to do things to get attention when I was little.” She was pretty effective, too — aged 11, she faked appendicitis so convincingly, the doctors actually removed her appendix. “My mother had hers taken out at the same age, so that’s how it entered my brain. And she told me that when the doctor presses in, that’s not when it hurts, it’s when the hand’s taken away. So I knew when to react.”

Toni Collette at premiere of The Way, Way Back

Toni Collette at 2015 Toronto Film Festival

Oh, and she’s a darn good singer too. From 2007, her performance of “Look Up” at Live Earth:

The song comes from the album Beautiful Awkward Pictures by Toni Collette and the Finish; she’s married to drummer Dave Galafassi. And “beautiful awkward” fits, doesn’t it?

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Welcome to post-literacy

The asshats, they are everywhere:

My mom sent me a clipping from her “back home” paper she get about a woman who showed up drunk at a political rally and started painting phalluses in peanut butter (!) on people’s cars, and while she meant it to be amusing, I just found it distressing because really — being needlessly ugly. So many people now are being needlessly ugly and it seems the ad hominem has replaced the “finding logical counter arguments to the points the person is making that you disagree with.”

If she “meant it to be amusing,” that’s more than enough qualification for rectal millinery: wieners are funny only in context, and vandalism is never funny at all.

It doesn’t help, of course, that we’re embroiled in a political campaign involving the two worst candidates in the history of the Republic, and that their loudest (and probably drunkest) partisans are straight out of William Butler Yeats: “The worst are full of passionate intensity.” Yeah, they’re full of something, all right.

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A woman of many phases

It wasn’t that long ago that we looked in on Lorna Burford of Raindrops of Sapphire and saw Tinker Bell looking back at us.

Lorna Burford as Captain AmericaAs far as I’m concerned, she can dress up as anyone she darn well pleases:

Not only is Captain America my favourite comic book character as you all know, but turning myself and these photos into a real life comic book was like a dream come true for me too. It’s taken hours to edit and do this entire shoot from start to finish, but I have to say that I’m incredibly proud of these photos and I haven’t had as much fun on a shoot as this!

Sourcing, because after all she’s a fashion blogger:

I got this costume from Escapade and I think it’s fantastic. It fits really well actually and is quite comfortable, but it doesn’t come with the boots, so I had some help getting hold of these thigh high pvc red ones from a friend and I think they suit the costume perfectly.

We’re only giving you the faintest hint of the look here, hoping more than usual that you’ll dial over and see the whole photoset.

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All about that ballot

Yours truly is voting absentee this year, and on the off-chance that you actually care, I’m letting you know what sort of thinking went into my selections. It is not, I hasten to add, always sensible.

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No goblins

My fault: I wasn’t well enough to answer the door three or four dozen times, so I wound up blowing off Halloween entirely. I will add this to the burgeoning “I Hate My Life” files.

Addendum: Reports from the neighborhood indicate turnout was pretty sparse compared with previous years. I blame sidewalks.

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Dressy enough

Tatyana finds a shoe she can live with:

[I]magine my joy (yes) when I saw them at DSW: low (but noticeable) heel, comfortable ankle hug detail, reliable arch support, figured (not plain) leather. And very unusual play on “maryjane” theme. Something very “roaring 20s” about them, isn’t it?

I like it. It’s from Josef Seibel, billed as “the European comfort sole,” and while I didn’t spot it in the current line, there’s a distinct advantage to buying a style that’s on the way out, especially when it doesn’t look like it’s on the way out.

Low-heel Mary Jane variant by Josef Seibel

Given DSW’s pricing, she almost certainly snagged these for under $100. And that Mary Jane variation is clever: you see two straps from this angle, but they meet just before a single buckle on the outside.

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They’ll make it up in volume

This strikes me as one hell of a lot of email:

I can’t wrap my mind around 650,000 emails. Even before the next round of spam clearing, I have 55,617 emails on this box, and it took nearly twenty years to accumulate that much. Of course, I don’t have Carlos Danger’s propensity for hitting on every female within 20 ZIP codes, either.

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He’s on the Pill

Her pill is crammed full of hormones and can cause all sorts of mischief. His pill, maybe not so much:

Scientists have made a breakthrough which could be key to developing a male contraceptive pill.

The discovery uses a peptide which changes the way human cells work, “switching off” sperm’s ability to swim, to render men temporarily infertile.

And unlike that thing she takes, this concoction is pretty close to instantaneous:

Lead researcher Professor John Howl, of Wolverhampton University, said the new compound, made in the lab, had shown immediate results.

“The results are startling — and almost instant. When you take healthy sperm and add our compound, within a few minutes the sperm basically cannot move,” he said.

Guys being generally suspicious of the sorts of contraception for which they must assume responsibility, I suspect this product will eventually be sold in Buffalo, Bar-B-Q and Chipotle flavors.

(Via HelloGiggles.)

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Strange search-engine queries (561)

While ghosts and goblins and such ready themselves for the evening, I’m ready this morning with yet another set of search strings, because that’s just how I roll.

I want to webcam chat with naked grownups:  Good luck with that. Probably fewer than 80 percent of grownups on webcam are naked.

naked wood nymphs:  Usually don’t have webcams.

last minute august 2014:  And then suddenly it was September.

two hours from now:  It quit being September quite a while back, actually.

terrell’s science class volunteers at the pet shelter each week and assists with keeping the puppy cages clean. combining academic work with a community project is an example of:  Cultural indoctrination.

there is nothing trendy or hip about fenway. it is npr in an mtv world:  In which case, Wrigley Field is TV Land.

dampnation:  The shortest possible way back from drought.

in this clip, we see 13-month-old felana trying to climb up the wrong end of a slide repeatedly. if she succeeds in this and similar endeavors, this will help her to:  Discover new ways to fall flat on her butt.

specto fork error check log:  I’m sure this wasn’t covered in Linux class.

what does 666 really mean yahoo answers:  It’s 37 times 18. Do I get two points?

fatty arbuckle bacon number:  Three, which doesn’t sound like a whole lot of Bacon.

closest albertsons grocery store to me:  And where the hell are you, anyway?

http://www.microsoftshitbrick.com/:  I don’t think you can get a new Vista install anymore.

crossdresser fingering:  Just watch where you put your thumb.

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Lakers not frozen over

Nobody expected the Lakers to be as terrible as they were last year — 17-65 — and on the evidence presented this evening, they’re not; they may not be a playoff team, but they won’t be eliminated in February either, and the Thunder had a heck of a time trying to maintain a lead over the Purple Kids. Oklahoma City was up 12 at halftime; L.A. swept half of that away in the third quarter, and refused to go away in the fourth. It wasn’t until the last five minutes that the Thunder started to pull away; inside the two-minute mark, they were up 17, having scored 13 unanswered points, and Russell Westbrook was given the rest of the night off. The reserves mopped up nicely, and OKC ran up the score to 113-96 to claim a third straight victory.

Westbrook, you may be sure, earned his rest: he knocked down 33 points, reeled in 12 rebounds and served up 16 dimes. This is his second triple-double in three games. Steven Adams posted a double-double — 14 points, 12 boards — and Enes Kanter led the reserves with 16. Master of the plus/minus, though, was Victor Oladipo, who racked up a +24 while scoring 20.

The Lakers were led by Julius Randle, who impressed early and collected 20 points on efficient 7-10 shooting, and by D’Angelo Russell, who took twice as many shots but still ended up with 20. Things were going well enough for L.A. early on that Metta World Peace managed to log a few minutes; he missed two shots but did pick up a steal.

Of the California teams, the Lakers are arguably the easiest. Unfortunately for the Thunder, the other two are coming up, and on the Coast at that: the Clippers on Wednesday, followed by the Warriors on Thursday. That Golden State game will feature, if that’s the word, the first matchup between the Thunder and OKC expat Kevin Durant. Anybody’s guess how that goes; I’m guessing that Steph Curry ends up doing most of the heavy lifting.

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The right day for it

A man with the quintessentially American name “Daniel Boone” managed to get this lovely little number up to #15 in Billboard in 1972:

If the chap in the video didn’t look quintessentially American, well, he’s British. Peter Lee Stirling (born Peter Green in Birmingham in 1942, and no, not the Peter Green in Fleetwood Mac) played in several bands early on, but enjoyed little success until he signed with Larry Page’s Penny Farthing label, assumed the “Daniel Boone” name, and cut a maudlin ballad called “Daddy Don’t You Walk So Fast,” which clambered into the UK Top Twenty. (In the States, it was killed by a Wayne Newton cover.)

Next out was “Beautiful Sunday,” written by Boone with labelmate Rod McQueen. It just missed the Top Twenty in the UK, but made decent bank in the US — and even more so in Germany, where it reached #1. The hits petered out shortly thereafter, but “Beautiful Sunday” endured; the Russian band Chizh & Co. covered it to interesting effect in 1996.

Oh, and one more thing. Remember when iTunes would go hunt down album artwork for you? This is what it fetched for “Beautiful Sunday”:

Somebody's artwork for Beautiful Sunday by David Boone

David Boone?

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