Several boatloads

Radiation in terms of bananas:

Science, which often talks about things in increments of light-years, femtometers and picograms, has some really weird measurements. For example, did you know that you actually receive a dose of radiation from eating a banana, and that the dosage is sometimes used as a basis for measurement? The amount of ionizing radiation is .1 microsieverts per banana, which of course means nothing to most of us who have no idea how much radiation is in a microsievert or in a full-size sievert either, for that matter. This figure is sometimes referred to the “Banana Equivalent Dose.” The important number for those of you who enjoy bananas is 35 million, because that’s how many bananas you’d have to get together to kill a person with radiation. You’d be in just as much danger from the weight of all that fruit, and in any case would probably have perished quite a bit earlier from whichever beautiful bunch o’ ripe banana hide the deadly black tarantula.

And while we’re on the subject:

Although the amount in a single banana is small in environmental and medical terms, the radioactivity from a truckload of bananas is capable of causing a false alarm when passed through a Radiation Portal Monitor used to detect possible smuggling of nuclear material at U.S. ports.

Harry Chapin was not available for comment.

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Decreases the meeces

I tossed this up as a tweet yesterday:

But, as always, the story is a bit more complicated than that.

The first mouse of the season made several trips in and out of the house, through a thinned-out section of weatherstripping on the door that leads to the garage. A couple of observations revealed his M.O.; I parked a glue board on the far side of the door, where he couldn’t see it and couldn’t miss it. Time from trap emplacement to actual trap: less than half an hour. I duly patched up the weatherstripping.

It was only then that I discovered that he’d had a comrade, and that I’d blocked the comrade’s escape route: he would hang around the house for three days before I figured out the best place for the board. And it got him, within ten minutes.

Unfortunately, the board was inside the house, and the little twerp gave out with an ear-piercing cry. For a moment there I asked myself: “What have I done?” Wouldn’t planting some toxins around the house have done the job just as well? A comment from a neighbor persuades me otherwise:

If you have mice and pets, please don’t use poison. If you have no pets, check with your neighbors and see if they have pets before putting out poison. I lost one of my dogs yesterday from some kind of poisoning and the vet thinks it’s probably rat poison. You can’t control where the rodent dies, and dogs love to eat them.

Perhaps I need to disguise my glee a bit more effectively.

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Surly to rise

I definitely don’t like this idea:

Apparently some are calling for the work day to start at 10 am.

Unless they are willing to shorten my work day by 2-3 hours, I will NOT go for a 10 am work start-time. I do not want to still be at work at 7 pm. I do not want to be dragging home some nights at 8 and then have to cook dinner. All a later day-start would do for me would mean I’d have to go to bed later on — and I wouldn’t necessarily sleep any more. In fact, I’m usually up by the time the sun is up. So I’d be stuck sitting around at home for 3-4 hours in the morning, anticipating going to work but NOT BEING ABLE TO GO … and I’d object to that.

Again, for some people, the 10 am start time would be ideal — but not for me, because I’d not be able to enjoy those hours, knowing I had to get to work. And I’d wind up with less productive “free time” over all.

I am best suited, I think, to swing shift: I can sleep until noon, and most nights I can’t sleep until midnight or close to it. This is not going to be happening at my current workplace, but I did 3:30 to midnight for a couple of years in the 1980s, and it worked out rather well for me, apart from the fact that I was a major jerk in those days and got to annoy people on two shifts in the same day.

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Undead trees

You may remember this from early 2010:

The plumber stared in disbelief. “Roots, all right. But this is a plastic line.”

Which, as we used to say, can mean only one of one thing: the suckers had grown into the junction between the metal pipe inside the house and the plastic stuff that leads to the city sewer. It’s a good ten feet from any actual trees, but trees don’t much care about distance.

At the time, the following options were offered: rip out those pipes and replace that junction, at a cost that would make one’s nose bleed, or have the line scoured out every five years to get rid of the offending roots.

Welcome to 2015. I have three fewer live trees now, but roots apparently are the zombies of the plant world. (Which would complicate Plants vs. Zombies, wouldn’t it?)

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But she bought the hat

And I don’t think I’ll speculate further:

Note the complete absence of bacon.

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Initial contact

The opening tip went to the Spurs; Andre Roberson picked it off and stuffed it through the hoop. And there’s your tone for the game right there: fast and furious, even when the aged wizards from San Antonio sought to slow things in the third quarter. (It’s no accident that the one truly dominant Spur tonight was Kawhi Leonard, who’s not yet twenty-five.) With just over two minutes left, it was tied at 103, with Dion Waiters serving up the tying bucket; fifty seconds later, the Spurs came up dry, and Waiters brought a second helping. Russell Westbrook followed up with a nifty trey; Leonard got a three-point play the old-fashioned way, and with 21 seconds left, it was 108-106 OKC, and the Spurs failed to inbound. Time out, try again. A Danny Green would-be trey hit nothing but air, Kevin Durant dropped in two free throws, the Spurs came up empty again, and Westbrook finished the job from the stripe. Opening night: Oklahoma City 112, San Antonio 106, despite 32 from Leonard, the youngster’s career high.

It’s not that they leaned too much on Kawhi, either; every one of the ten Spurs who saw action collected at least four points, even Obi-Wan Duncan (eight points, 26 minutes). Perhaps the problem is that one of those four-point guys was Danny Green, who came out with a feeble (for Green, anyway) 2 of 9. Still, Manu remains Manu, LaMarcus Aldridge apparently won’t need much integration into the Spurs machine, and 41 bench points will tell you that San Antonio isn’t lacking in depth.

But neither is OKC, with 39 points from Thunder reserves, including a double-double from Enes Kanter (15 points, 16 rebounds). There’s always the question of how a max player starts the year on the bench, but Kanter got nearly as much playing time as Steven Adams, who started in the middle, and, well, Adams is the better defender. The only other double-double came from Westbrook, who finished with 33 points and ten assists. Kevin Durant, you may be sure, was sufficiently Durant-y to suit the capacity crowd, knocking down 22. Still, you look at the plus/minus, and there’s Dion Waiters with a game-high +15. Can he possibly be … clutch?

The early schedule looks bizarre: away, then home, then away, then home, all the way through the 10th of November, before an actual two-game homestand — which is followed by an away game the next night. And not just any away game, either: it’s Memphis. Better fasten those seat belts now.

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He knows this is trouble

Heck of a way to fill a blank space there:

Lawyers only love words when they’re torture.

(Via, inevitably, @SwiftOnSecurity. If you’re not up on CISA, this is what’s going down.)

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About those hardware issues

Back in mid-September I put up the usual link to the current Vent, and forgot to list it in the Ventually category. This has been fixed.

This is not, however, what I came to tell you about. That particular Vent — #933 — was a survey of my findings at a Tumblr blog called “Transsexual Nudists,” which so far as I could tell contained pictures of no actual trans people: all the pictures seemed to have been Photoshopped. (I later found what appeared to have been some of the originals elsewhere on Tumblr.) Hardly anyone seemed to be particularly upset about this, though: there is evidently a small core of fans who really, truly want the women of their dreams to have standard male hardware. And the character who was doing the virtual genitalia transplant at least did it with some degree of panache: one particular shot involved three unclad women, and he pasted the penis onto arguably the prettiest one.

For reasons unknown, the site was taken down this past weekend, and its archives nuked, though if I remember Tumblr operations correctly, anything from there that was reblogged elsewhere will remain reblogged.

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Twizzled out

My candy-acquisition rule for Halloween is simple enough: get stuff I’ve heard of. Worst-case scenario: if the goblins peter out early, at least I’ll have something familiar to nosh on. (There’s a secondary rule, which says basically “Finish the year’s bloodwork before Halloween”; I trust this needs no explanation.)

This time around I picked up a bag of Twizzlers, and of course the dreaded phrase “Fun Size” came into play: no item likely to be tossed into a kid’s bag is likely to be truly fun-sized. The Twizzlers, I reasoned, would be three to a packet, cut down to a couple inches each. After looking at them more closely, I realized that they weren’t like this at all: instead, there’s a single stick, individually wrapped. Worse than that, the wrapper is damnably difficult to remove, even with bladed utensils handy.

Maybe I’ll get rid of these first.

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Careful with that zygote, Eugene

From Lawrence Ulrich’s first drive of the new BMW 7-series, in Automobile (December):

The lean, new body wears rather conservative clothing. The exterior is stately and tasteful but safer than the sex in a Planned Parenthood brochure.

I have no idea what this could possibly mean, and I’m not so sure Ulrich does either.

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In answer to the Great Bacon Scare

First, anything under United Nations control (such as WHO) is almost certainly full of crap and invariably politically motivated. You’re not going to see any pronouncements that might upset, say, Hamas.

Second, in your face, porkophobics:

Bet your bottom dollar their biscuits (not in the British sense of “biscuits”) are better than yours.

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Commanding the eye

Judging by this still from Season 4 of The Mindy Project, Mindy Kaling has grown fond of the V-neck:

Mindy Kaling with serious cleavage

It also works away from the set:

Mindy Kaling with more serious cleavage

This was all too much for me, and I went back to something a bit less revealing:

Mindy Kaling sitting

That fourth season of The Mindy Project will air on Hulu, which ordered 26 new episodes, bringing the total to 93.

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Pep rallies

Pep Boys stock rose 23 percent on the news that Bridgestone is buying them out:

Japanese tire giant Bridgestone agreed Monday to buy Pep Boys for $835 million and potentially create the largest chain of U.S. automotive service centers, the companies announced.

The deal would create a chain of more than 3,000 auto care stores — 2,200 Bridgestone-owned centers including Tires Plus, Firestone Complete Auto Care, Hibdon Tires Plus and Wheel Works, and more than 800 company-owned Pep Boys stores.

According to the companies the deal will finalize in early 2016.

One assumes that the iconic icons of Manny, Moe and Jack will remain intact after the acquisition.

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So totally not cool

Except, of course, for … oh, never mind, this is getting complicated:

Like an episode of Bones but way freakier because it’s real, a 24-year-old Las Vegas woman was found dead inside a cryotherapy chamber Tuesday. Medical examiners suggest she was literally flash-frozen, dying within “seconds.”

According to the Washington Post, esthetician Chelsea Ake-Salvacion was alone in the medical spa she managed when she entered one of the -240-degree chambers, which allegedly reduce inflammation, boost immunity and metabolism, and improve skin tone, among other health and aesthetic benefits. Results from the autopsy are still pending, but investigators initially ruled “operator error,” a charge her family denies.

Hmmm. Alone in the spa, but it wasn’t operator error. Surely she wasn’t trying to freeze herself to death, was she?

And there’s some question of how therapeutic this technique really is:

“Although [whole-body cryotherapy] produces a large temperature gradient for tissue cooling, the relatively poor thermal conductivity of air prevents significant subcutaneous and core body cooling,” an article in the journal Sports Medicine explained last year. “There is weak evidence from controlled studies that WBC enhances antioxidant capacity and parasympathetic reactivation, and alters inflammatory pathways relevant to sports recovery. A series of small randomized studies found WBC offers improvements in subjective recovery and muscle soreness following metabolic or mechanical overload, but little benefit towards functional recovery.”

Then again, I am not one to complain about subjective recovery.

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Trigger warning

Actually, if anyone needed a warning here, it was Trigger’s owner:

Indiana Conservation Officer Jonathon Boyd says 25-year-old Allie Carter of Avilla laid her 12-gauge shotgun on the ground without the safety on during a waterfowl hunt Saturday at Tri-County Fish and Wildlife Area.

Boyd says Carter’s chocolate Labrador retriever, Trigger, stepped on top of the shotgun and depressed the trigger.

He says Carter was shot in the left foot at point-blank range, suffering injuries to her foot and toes. She was treated at two hospitals and released.

Labs generally are good hunting dogs, but most of them haven’t read the Four Rules. Still, this hardly seems the dog’s fault.

(Via Nancy Friedman.)

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Neither A nor P

The Great Atlantic and Pacific Tea Company is now nothing more than “intellectual property”:

While A&P’s stores and associated real estate have been the focus of the retailer’s bankruptcy wind-down, now the brand itself is going on the block.

Hilco Streambank said Friday that it would be taking bids for the intellectual property of A&P, which includes brand names for its stores and private brands, its slogans and customer data.

The sale includes all intellectual property associated with the A&P, Pathmark, Waldbaum’s, Super Fresh, Food Basics and Best Cellars brands, as well as private label product brands such as America’s Choice, Woodson & James, Green Way, Jane Parker, Via Roma, and Live Better, among others. The sale is being conducted pursuant to Section 363 of the Bankruptcy Code in A&P’s Chapter 11 case pending in the U.S. Bankruptcy Court. The bid deadline is Nov. 19.

The one A&P brand that might have meant something to me — Eight O’Clock Coffee, which dated back to 1859 — was sold off more than a decade ago and is currently owned by a subsidiary of India’s Tata Group, which also owns Tetley Tea, Jaguar and Land Rover cars.

And doesn’t “Hilco Streambank” sound like someone whom Benedict Cumberbatch has outgrown?

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