Let there be breeze

People like this actually exist, though I don’t really know any who exist at this level:

If it were up to me, I would always be naked. I would go to work naked, I would go to parties naked, and I would navigate the many forms of New York’s public transportation system without so much as my socks on.

I do have a few friends who routinely wear nothing at home, or will do so the moment everyone else has left the house, but I don’t know anyone willing to challenge the subway in her birthday suit. At least New York can’t bust you for toplessness.

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Sticking it

TTAC commenter “dolorean,” responding to a piece about BMW’s recent disdain for stick shifts, offers ten reasons why the manual-transmission experience is more rewarding, and most of them make perfect sense to me, particularly this one:

6. American car thieves hate manuals. A vast portion of the country doesn’t know how to manipulate the gears themselves, best anti-theft device in the U.S.

They can always haul it away on a flatbed, but this isn’t an option if you’re in a hurry, and most thieves don’t have time to kill.

And then there’s this one:

10. Most important reason, my girlfriend stands nearly 6′ tall and has nearly 4′ of leg. She likes to wear tiny shorts and skirts. NOTHING hotter than to watch her work a stick. Cannot fathom the same joy from an automatic.

I’ll, um, have to take his word for it.

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Light comedy

Who else, I ask you, brings you this much personal experience on the subject of light bulbs?

Last year, reader backwoods conservative observed:

What is recommended for garage doors is rough service bulbs. They have more supports for the filament and therefore do not break so easily. The bulb itself is often made stronger to be less prone to breakage. The information I have is that rough service bulbs are exempt from the new standards and will still be allowed. They are more expensive, but I hear they hold up very well.

I haven’t changed a bulb in the garage-door opener in a decade, and I am loath to start now. That said, a few weeks back the supermarket had a box of off-brand “rough-service” bulbs for a not-unreasonable price — three bucks for four bulbs — and I decided to give them a shot in some other applications.

And in those cases, the results were decidedly meh: the bulbs seem sturdy enough, and design life is no worse than other incandescents, but this particular series is rated at a meager 500 lumens, about a third less than one gets from the usual 60-watt classic. I would have known this, of course, had I bothered to read the actual box; it’s not like this little detail is hidden away.

Meanwhile, this little contretemps was taking place in the kitchen:

[T]he hemidemisemiglobe, apparently insufficiently tightened down, yielded to the force of gravity, forcing me into Shard Removal mode. Results: fairly unsightly. On the upside, it’s a hell of a lot brighter in there, and now the freaking CFLs ought to work better, so long as I don’t actually replace the glass.

As it happens, I didn’t have any freaking CFLs in there, as they died entirely too quickly in the fixture with that glass dome in place. When one of the two 60-watt classics died last week, I wearily dragged out the stepladder, ascended to the heights, dismounted both incandescents, and installed two 20-watt CFLs, billed as the equivalent of 75-watters, which were not recommended for this fixture because, um, heat. Let’s see ’em get more than moderately warm without a big glass ball surrounding ’em. Further upside: 2400 lumens instead of 1600. Downside: it’s much easier to see how much the kitchen floor (white tile) needs a good mopping.

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One hell of a playlist

The Pitchfork staff has dared to come up with a list of the 200 Best Songs of the 1980s, and I was keen to look at it, since I didn’t really abandon radio and record stores until about 1988, when I had, um, other issues to deal with. (I didn’t make anything resembling a full return until a few years into the new century, so I am presumably lacking in 1990s stuff.) On the other hand, I hate seeing things I missed, especially if I’d intended to give them a listen and never got around to it.

Before starting, I projected that I would own 45 of these 200 tracks in some form or other. And while I had nothing from 191-200, I ended up with 59 of the songs named, including seven of the Top 10 and thirteen of the Top 20. Some of these were big, big hits, which tells me that while I may not have been entirely within the mainstream, I almost certainly intersected it at some yet-undetermined angle.

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Put it on my bill

I’m beginning to think these newfangled 3D printers can do anything:

In a ground-breaking project, a Brazilian toucan which lost the upper part of its beak while being trafficked has been fitted with a prosthesis made with a 3D printer.

The female bird, named Tieta, was rescued from a wildlife animal fair in Rio de Janeiro. It is not clear whether she lost the upper part of her beak after being mistreated by animal smugglers or in a fight with a bigger toucan she was locked up with inside a small box.

The project was co-ordinated by wildlife management group Instituto Vida Livre and involved three Brazilian universities.

The beak section took about three months to design, but only two hours to print; it’s 4 cm in length and weighs a mere 4 grams. Tieta, malnourished and surviving on bits of fruit, was able to return to her normal diet in about three days.

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Long-stemmed flower

In 2012, there was a brief tizzy when Angelina Jolie’s right leg, following some world-class exposure at the Academy Awards, got its own Twitter account. Familiar as I am with the concept of letting the legs do the talking, I of course followed, but the account was dropped shortly after the first of the year. Few knew that there was precedence for this even before Twitter: the right leg of Mexican singer/actress Lucero did a walk-on, so to speak, on a sketch-comedy series, probably XHDRbZ, and was duly interviewed by the host.

La pierna de Lucero

La pierna de Lucero

And I suppose that this was inevitable, since Lucero Hogaza León, born this date in 1969, was almost always known for these gams. (Well, maybe not; as a tween, she starred on a kids’ show called Chiquilladas, in one episode playing Olive Oyl.)

Lucero strikes a pose

Lucero has had long careers in music and in television, particularly in telenovelas. In 2010, she put out her 19th album, Indispensable, from which the lead single was “Dueña de tu amor” (“Owner of your heart”):

A Special Edition of Indispensable was released in the US, and you have to figure the label knew what it was doing:

Lucero Indispensable US cover art

It is incumbent upon some sectors of the press, of course, to find fault with people who look like this.

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Well Handeled

This van is obviously not Haydn its intentions:

WRR Dallas van -- Dude.  Bach off.

The sticker on the left side of the bumper says “Strauss Relief.”

This almost makes up for finding out that WCPE in Raleigh, North Carolina was not actually named for C. P. E. Bach; the station just happened to get assigned that set of call letters.

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No Buffaloney

It is what he said:

The Justpaul family, I surmise, emigrated from North Dystopia to the Niagara Falls area in the late 17th century.

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A little more than an advisory

By comparison, Hurricane Ike was almost gentle.

Then again, it takes something this forceful to get someone’s attention. You probably know this old joke:

A farmer is in Iowa during a flood. The river is overflowing. Water is surrounding the farmer’s home up to his front porch. As he is standing there, a boat comes up. The man in the boat says, “Jump in, and I’ll take you to safety.”

The farmer crosses his arms and says stubbornly, “Oh no thanks, I put my trust in God.” The boat goes away. The water rises to the second story. Another boat comes up. The man says to the farmer, who is now at the second floor window, “Hurry, jump in. I’ll save you.”

The farmer again says, “Oh no thanks, I put my trust in God.”

The boat goes away. Now the water is inching over the roof. As the farmer stands on the roof, a helicopter comes over, and drops a ladder. The pilot yells down to the farmer, “I’ll save you. Climb the ladder.”

The farmer yells back, “Oh no thanks, I put my trust in God.”

The helicopter goes away. The water continues to rise and sweeps the farmer off the roof into the swiftly moving water. Unfortunately, he drowns.

The farmer goes to heaven. God sees him and says, “What are you doing here?”

The farmer says, “I put my trust in you, and you let me down.”

God says, “What do you mean, let you down? I sent you two boats and a helicopter!”

You might take this as an example of By-God Iowa Stubborn; or you might consider that in nearly every natural disaster, there’s someone who won’t budge from the scene. Scaring the heck out of them with a weather forecast seems like a kindness.

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Did you check the woods?

Smarter than the average tourist? Not this one:

At least one visitor to Yellowstone National Park doesn’t appreciate that the bears didn’t do their part to make the visit memorable.

“Our visit was wonderful but we never saw any bears. Please train your bears to be where guests can see them. This was an expensive trip to not get to see bears.”

This is right up there with the woman who thought that deer-crossing signs were actually encouraging deer to cross the highway.

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Wholly rolly

After spending more than two decades (yes!) on this here IBM Model M, I figure I’d have trouble getting used to banging on a tablet’s touchscreen. Fortunately, there are alternatives, and this one sounds strangely interesting:

The [LG] “Rolly Keyboard” folds up across four rows into an easily transportable stick and, unlike flexible foldable keyboards, is made from solid durable polycarbonate and ABS plastics, making it feel more tactile when used. Unrolled, it reveals two arms at either end to support a smartphone or tablet, and it’s only a little smaller than a standard keyboard; each high contrast key is 17mm, only one mm smaller than regular desktop keys, which should make it very easy to type on. The keyboard is Bluetooth 3.0 enabled, powered by a single AAA battery, which should be enough to power it for around 3 months. Conveniently, auto-pairing is enabled so that you can get to work as soon as you unroll it, and it can toggle between two different Bluetooth-connected devices at a time.

At least, that’s what the reviewers have seen. Those of us out here in Retailville get to wait a little while longer:

LG plan to unveil the keyboard at IFA Electronics event in Berlin next week, alongside their new G Pad II tablet. At the moment no cost has been revealed, but it seems that the “Rolly” will go on sale in the U.S. in September, before a wider release at the end of the year.

Of course, I’m failing to add in the cost of an actual tablet, inasmuch as I don’t own one as yet.

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Oh, interjection

As we have long known, verbing weirds language. Name expert Nancy Friedman has been collecting examples of such weirding for many years, and this week she blew the lid off two unnecessarily verbed nouns in a piece called “Let’s Family! Let’s Museum!”

Let’s don’t and say we did.

Still, if verbing nouns adds weirdness, what happens when you verb adjectives?

Something to listen to while you think it over:

It used to be, no words could come between us.

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Whoever the heck he is

Maybe it’s really John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!

I mean, it certainly can’t be Gary Allen.

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The sad fact is

And will likely continue to be:

Headline: someone will win presidential race

(From Bad Newspaper via Miss Cellania.)

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Fark blurb of the week

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Only the names are retro

And this is only a rumor, for now: [warning: autostart video]

Ford Motor Co. is considering a revival of the Bronco sport utility vehicle and Ranger small pickup in the U.S., where truck demand is booming, said a person familiar with [the] company’s plans.

The two models would be built at a Wayne, Michigan, factory that now makes small cars, said the person, who asked not to be identified discussing product plans. The move would help Ford preserve some U.S. union jobs amid contract talks. The company may assemble the Focus and C-Max in Mexico, a person familiar with the matter had said.

I’m guessing that the person familiar with the plans is not necessarily the person familiar with the matter.

“In which paragraph will they mention O. J. Simpson?” If you had “third,” step up and claim your prize. Slowly.

(Via The Truth About Cars.)

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