That’s right, you bad

There are times when you just can’t resist rubbing it in:

A 40-year-old woman tackled a 20-year-old man fleeing from police in Washington state, then taunted him about being taken down by a grandmother.

Richland police Capt. Mike Cobb tells the Tri-City Herald that Becky Powell was driving by Wednesday when she saw the man run from officers. She told her husband to speed ahead of the fleeing man, and got out to confront him.

Powell says the man tried to stiff-arm her, but she felled him, pulling down his shorts in the process.

She says she got help pinning the man down and asked him how it felt to be taken down by a mother of five and a grandmother of three.

An officer on the scene gave Powell a high-five, but higher-ups later issued the usual “Don’t help us” warning: “We appreciate the assistance, but we don’t want to have people get involved because they can get hurt.”

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Strange search-engine queries (447)

The so-called “dog days” of summer are actually of no special interest to dogs; even when it’s ten below outside, they’re just happy to be here. This is a lesson I have yet to learn.

www.2001 mazda valve body cb4e automatc transmission(fits mazda 626):  You really think someone’s going to sell you the valve body separately? Rotsa ruck with that.

problems associated with mazda 626:  Parts shortages due to people constantly searching for them on the Web.

my 1995 GMC suburban flashs its dash and signal lites ever 10 mineta what doos this:  I’d suggest you read your manual, but this might be beyond your capacity. In the meantime, pick up a used Mazda.

invisible woman 1983:  Probably easier to find than random transmission parts.

cd4e fluid out overflow:  Yeah, I suppose if fluid’s coming out of it, that’s an overflow.

grace slick aston martin:  Well, you know, she has funny cars.

chuck’s seed and feed:  You blew the punch line! No wonder nobody got it.

kaiser wilhelm’s batman:  Not to be confused with The Goddamn Batman.

gulliver naughty:  Aw, he was just trying to get a Lilliput.

under ground music various artists circa 1970:  By now, many of them are literally under ground.

rainbow dash thunder lane sex fanfiction:  Oh, he wishes.

filly feelers rainbow dash:  That’s “filly-foolers,” you flankhat.

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Site questions

New arrivals at the site are often perplexed: “This doesn’t look like any WordPress blog I’ve ever seen.” (In which case, you should see this one, which uses the same theme.) Perhaps your question is answered here.

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Reapplied statistics

It was true when I was eleven, and it’s true half a century later: you can always get my attention with a distinctive love song. (It’s never going to be sung to me, of course, but that’s a small matter in the grand scheme of things.) This one came out in 2005 and blew right past me, though the album whence it came (Piece by Piece) topped the charts in several Eurozone countries.

According to Katie, she and her producer/manager were actually in Beijing and were given the bicycle statistic by their interpreter. No one questioned it.

As for that “12 billion light-years” line, it drew some flak:

Then again, even Han Solo is subject to challenge.

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Yes, we have no [anything]

For those of you who thought things would improve in Venezuela once Hugo Chávez passed on, you might want to think again. Now there are food shortages, and the word from Caracas is that the government is going to Do Something. Unfortunately, it’s going to do what a Chavist government can’t help but do, and that’s muck things up worse:

Rather than understanding that the problem is due to a drop in production and a drought in foreign currency to buy the products required by the population, now the “queues” making the lives of consumers miserable every day get the blame. A few days ago, Andrés Eloy Méndez, the newly appointed Superintendent of Socio-Economic Rights, announced that the Government will start a “war against queues” at supermarkets, another fictitious conflagration that adds to the so-called “economic war” [Nicolás] Maduro frequently resorts to.

The first mistake, of course, is appointing a Superintendent of Socio-Economic Rights, which in terms of functionality is right up there with establishing a Ministry of Play-Doh.

Anyway, you may be sure that Méndez takes his phoney-baloney job seriously:

From this “battle” of audits arose the erroneous idea that one of the main causes of people spending up to three and four hours in a commercial establishment is that supermarkets have a significant number of checkout counters closed. And a couple of supermarkets were fined over this, including the Bicentenario Plaza Venezuela in Caracas, where only 26 checkout counters out of 60 were operational. Also, the Bicentenario branch was requested to outline a plan to cover and ensure the operation of all counters in the future.

Of course, opening more checkout counters will not add one single banana (probably imported from Colombia) to the stocks in Venezuelan food stores.

But wait! It gets worse:

[I]t has just been announced that the ministries of Science and Technology and Food are developing a biometric fingerprint recognition system that will allow to monitor “who buys and how he/she does it” and to control the so-called “bachaqueo” (a type of smuggling activity common in the Venezuelan border with Colombia), according to Méndez. This mechanism would be put into operation for both private and public network supermarkets by early 2015.

Number of additional bananas to be sold as a result: zero.

These ideas are so horrible and have such minimal potential positive impact that I expect Harry Reid to propose at least one of them before too long.

(Via Interested-Participant.)

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Quote of the week

Gagdad Bob explains the current composition of the Democratic Party:

[H]ere’s a timely aphorism by [Nicolás Gómez] Dávila: “The worst demagogues are not recruited from the envious poor, but from among the embarrassed wealthy.”

This fully explains the high-low composition of the Democratic party, with super-wealthy elites at one end and lofo and lower IQ hordes at the other. You could say that the difference between the two is that the elites are bankrupt in every way except financially.

This little formula explains why the wealthiest counties in the nation trend Democrat, just as do places like Ferguson. The two are locked in a deathly parasitic embrace, for liberals destroy and have destroyed the very people they most rely upon to support them at the polls, and the underclass can be relied upon to support the very people and polices that ensure its own continued ruin. The resultant civilizational collapse is what they call “progress.”

If these are the parasites, who then are the hosts? Answer: everyone else.

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It beats my cooking all to hell

David Pilling recommends the following:

Then wash it down with some of this:

On the typical Sustenance For Football Fans On The Sofa scale, this is probably about 50th percentile.

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Fingering the perp

If there’s a tragedy here, it’s that there’s a recognizable need for this product:

An undergraduate team at North Carolina State University might have just revolutionized your make-up drawer. The four students are working to develop a nail polish that changes color if it comes into contact with date rape drugs Rohypnol and GHB. That means that women who wear the new polish — dubbed Undercover Colors — could determine whether their drink has had an unwelcome ingredient added just by dipping in a finger.

The four-person company — all men, as it happens — has raised $100k in funding and continues to work on its product.

There is a downside, of course: this won’t work with rapists who use other drugs, such as strawberry daiquiris.

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Almost none more black

I mean, you’ve got to go to actual black holes to get much blacker than this:

What we call the color of an object is just whatever wavelengths of light it doesn’t soak up, rocketing into our corneas and telling us something about its properties. Most things, even things that are very dark, still reflect back some light, imparting useful information. You can see creases even in the blackest velour.

But a material called Vantablack, being refined in labs now, traps light so completely that practically none escapes. The substance captures a full 99.96 percent of the light that hits it, which the human visual system perceives as deep, textureless blackness. Even when it’s applied to aluminum foil and then wrinkled, the part covered with Vantablack looks just as flat as can be, with no discernible silvery creases. It’s eerie, to have the physical world line up so poorly with expectations. It’s also potentially very valuable — making it look like there’s nothing where there’s really something is a long-time goal for defense departments.

If the price of this stuff ever drops below that of unobtainium, I think I want a jacket coated with it.

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The Hoffette

I almost titled this “Sand, which is there,” but thought better of it. This is Hayley Hasselhoff, twenty-two on Tuesday, the younger daughter of David Hasselhoff (yes!) and Pamela Bach:

Hayley Hasselhoff at the beach

In 1999 and 2000, she did a couple of episodes of Baywatch, the first alongside older sister Taylor-Ann. Since turning 14, she has worked mostly as a “plus-size” model, though she had a role in the short-lived ABC Family series Huge, playing the skinniest girl at fat camp.

Commenting on that “plus-size” thing:

“There’s two different types of plus size — there’s plus size in the world, which may seem demeaning, but then there’s plus size in the industry, which is completely different… People always want to go to the extreme negative side of things, and it’s the same with plus-sized models. Plus size in the industry means curves. Let me break it down for you. Straight sized boards are models size 0-6. Plus size boards are models starting at a 10. If a size 8 girl was 5’11” and curvy, she’d be on the plus sized board, because there’s nothing in between.”

Hayley is five-seven and wears a 14:

Hayley Hasselhoff posing

She’s represented by Wilhelmina.

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Just pietzsche

Within an hour of one another last night, via TweetDeck:

Followed by Nietzsche followed by Nietzsche

Only thing I can figure is that I said something about Uber, the get-a-ride app, and they picked it up in a search for “Übermensch.”

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Your 2015 Oklahoma City BlueHawks

The Oklahoman is reporting that the Pacific Coast League’s Oklahoma City RedHawks are about to be sold to a group affiliated with the Los Angeles Dodgers, and that next year the Birds will be the Dodgers’ Triple-A farm team.

As it happens, this year the Dodgers’ Triple-A affiliate is in Albuquerque, and things aren’t working so well:

The Dodgers reportedly have been searching for a city more suitable to evaluate their top prospects. Starting last season, the Dodgers have required Isotopes officials to place baseballs in a humidor to try to counteract the effects of the thin, dry air, Albuquerque being 5,300 feet above sea level.

The RedHawks, says the report, should sell for somewhere between $22 and $28 million.

Update, 17 September: Here’s the official announcement.

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Friends with Benadryl

You may have thought you were up for a visit and maybe even some late-night sexytime, but think again:

Over-the-counter antihistamines, especially diphendyramine (Benadryl) and chlorpheniramine (Chlor-Trimeton), may alleviate your allergies, but temporarily affect your love life. The solution here could be as simple as carefully timing when you take the drug. “Many of these drugs do not last 24 hours and certainly their side effects don’t,” says Allison Dering-Anderson, Pharm.D., a clinical assistant professor of pharmacy practice at the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha. “Antihistamines should be cleared in eight hours in younger and healthier patients.” Keep in mind that antihistamines are also found in many combination cough-and-cold medicines so read the label. You may be taking antihistamines and lowering your libido without knowing it.

I’d worry about this more, I think, if they’d paid more attention to their spearchucker spellchecker: it’s actually diphenhydramine. (Then again, “chlorpheniramine” is now the officially adopted US spelling for what the rest of the world — including, until about ten minutes ago, me — calls “chlorphenamine.”)

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Sweeter than fiction

While following up on something tweeted by @SwiftOnSecurity, I stumbled across this statement posted by the person behind the account:

Taylor Swift’s image in large parts of popular culture is as the foolish, prolific romantic — that her experiences are her own fault and she’s somehow quick to complain about it. Unfortunately, playing off this is the easiest way to appeal to a wide audience and promote the account. Taylor Swift is a public figure open to parody but it’s something I don’t feel is particularly fair to her or the picture of women in general. I’ll continue to use light traces of this reputation, but it’s not something I particularly embrace.

Second, the account is written from the perspective of its subject living both her life and that of a legitimate professional in Information Technology/Information Security. The position and treatment of women in this sector is a common discussion point and open to criticism. Emphasis on femininity being a distraction or primary theme is something that doesn’t fit in this climate. First and foremost she is a professional, but one with a public image to play off and make references to. This keeps the character a good place to air my own musing on information security.

There is precedent for this: see, for instance, Britney Spears’ Guide to Semiconductor Physics. The peculiar genius of @SwiftOnSecurity is that those two perspectives intertwine so effectively, the reader is somehow able to contemplate the coming (well, they are) InfoWars while presented with the image of a singer who used to have more twang, didn’t she? A perfect example: “Just because I’m vulnerable doesn’t mean I’m exploitable.”

And here are some of the best Swifties, posterized for your viewing pleasure.

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It’s life, Ivan, but not as we know it

Well, actually, it does look sort of familiar:

The Russian press agency ITAR-TASS is reporting something so surprising that I’m having a hard time believing it: Cosmonauts have found microorganisms on the exterior of the International Space Station. Russian scientists are shocked by this discovery and can’t really explain how it is possible.

According to the chief of the Russian ISS orbital mission, Vladimir Solovjev, these findings “are absolutely unique.”

Which is more than merely unique, you know.

At this point the Russian space agency can’t really explain how sea plankton ended [up] on the International Space Station. They have discarded spaceships taking the microorganisms there. Their only explanation is that atmospheric currents may be lifting these particles from the ocean all the way to the station, 205 miles (330 kilometers) up in the sky — which seems absolutely nuts to me.

Like most unexpected life forms, this one turned up during cleaning. Solovjev, quoted by ITAR-TASS:

“We are conducting special works to polish somehow and put illuminators in order. This is particularly needed during long space flights.”

You don’t suppose this stuff was growing on the cleaning equipment, do you?

(Via Fark.)

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I never quite get tired of these

Of course, the people responsible for the signs are definitely sick of this sort of thing:

Electronic sign needs reboot

This sign is in Spring Valley, Nevada, an unincorporated area (with almost 200,000 people) west of the Las Vegas Strip.

(Via Rebecca Black, who owns a Mac.)

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