This was actually compiled several months from now, but published retroactively. (Hey, if it works for Willard, it can work or me, n’est-ce pas?)
what does a fake gaylord texan reservation confirmation letter look like: If it’s a good fake, exactly like a real one.
Fan Bingbing has a cool surname: Yep. (In case you weren’t up on your Chinese names, it’s “Fan.”)
sophomore male pattern baldness high school: Well, male pattern baldness is connected to testosterone levels, and high-school sophomores are just dripping with hormones.
what is the number to 1800 criminal: I think we can file this under “unclear on the concept.”
fellatio contest: I’d hate to have to keep score.
added r134a to my 1998 ford taurus and now my car keeps sputtering and dying: Next time, don’t add it to the intake manifold. Sheesh.
mazda transmission jerk 626: The same kind of guy who doesn’t know where to put the R134A.
why are hacked zooey deschanel pictures blacked out: Because there is a God.
have warner bros never made a profit: Not if they owe you a percentage of the profits, they haven’t.
is my gas gage less accurate when it’s hot: No more so than when it’s cold, or when it’s somewhere in between.
sissy codpiece: How so? Does it swish or something?
is a gmc terrain manly enough: What’s the matter, honey? Sissy codpiece not working out for you?
modified scrotum: “Modified” is the new “pierced.” (Ow.)
Ladies, if you saw a guy wearing a red bra under a white t-shirt, what would you say/do? Assume a modified scrotum, and run like hell.