Because seamen

While I can’t say this is surprising, actually, it still stings a bit:

The US Navy has launched an investigation into allegations that some of the first female sailors to serve on submarines were secretly videotaped in the shower by a male serviceman.

According to an incident report written last month, the unsuspecting women were recorded bathing and changing aboard the ballistic missile submarine USS Wyoming. A 24-year-old second class petty officer allegedly made the videos over the past year and distributed them among his male colleagues.

Um, you had orders, Mister, and one of those orders is “Do not behave like a cretinous goon.”

The Navy, which had grave doubts about this whole women-on-board business, is almost certainly not feeling any better about it now.

(Via Interested-Participant.)

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Getting mighty crowded in here

So: 619 million Americans, then? No wonder I can’t find a parking place.

2014 Bureau of the Census estimate is 319,309,000. So no matter what kind of number-crunching Abramowitz thinks he’s doing, it’s wrong from the word Go. And this whole scene could have been avoided had we realized from the start that the Seventeenth Amendment was a crock and killed it off before it could do any more damage.

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Strange search-engine queries (462)

Another week goes by, another set of logs is completed, and another round of “Someone actually Googled that?” ensues. By now, you know the drill.

media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com “originals”:  I could see why someone might want to look for the first version of a graphic file, given the potential for copyright issues; how they landed on a page with no actual graphics other than those inherent in the design theme is beyond me.

need to no what the gross weight of a 9azda millieum2.5 engine:  If this is the way you write, God help you working on a modern (well, 1990s) engine.

Horatio Prim and Melody Allen:  Ladies and gentlemen, your Two Thousand Fourteen Homecoming King and Queen!

kabb 29 fox news anorexic anchor:  An unhealthy-looking female anchor? On Fox? Unpossible!

gants shos and chapl style:  Let not mere spelling dissuade you from the pursuit of stylishness.

1918-2011 what year americans pay less so gallon gas pump:  This somehow reeks of radio-station call-in contest. First prize is a gallon of 1918 gas, with an octane rating you would not believe. (Same guy asked this twice, with marginally different wording.)

sheilabilyeu/wiva:  Sheila? Is that you? Come home, all is forgiven.

crossdressing tattoed pierced stories:  I think you’ve tripped the site’s Kink-O-Meter.

what is milfingly milf:  None of your milfing business.

mazda protege 5 with blinking o/d chaged gear to low at hwy:  I believe the applicable phrase is “Sucks to be you.”

what is the new old fashioned way:  Ask Brenda Lee at Bigelow 6-200.

Incidentally, if they ever pass a law requiring that the buyer of a car be able to spell the name on the badge, Mazda is doomed.

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Alone in the cold

The 24-hour bug persisted for a lot longer than 24 hours, and all of a sudden things look a great deal bleaker than they did a couple of days ago.

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It’s all about the cylinders

The last game these Pistons had won was against the Thunder in disrepair, three weeks ago. You might have guessed that this wouldn’t happen again, with OKC fortified with Batman and Robin once more; you might not have guessed, however, just how difficult this task would prove to be. After a 2-0 lead early, OKC fell behind, and stayed there until nearly the end of the third quarter. Detroit, despite being a tad fragged on the second half of a back-to-back, would not go away; with four treys in the fourth quarter, they stayed within reach until the last second, when a Josh Smith trey for the lead went awry, and once the Thunder inbounded — twice — it was Oklahoma City 96, Detroit 94, and a 1-1 split for the season.

Four starting Pistons made it into double figures, led by the redoubtable Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, who probably would have gotten mentioned here even if he hadn’t scored a team-high 19, because, darn it, he’s Kentavious Caldwell-Pope. (Starting point guard Brandon Jennings scored only 6, but he served up a game-high 9 assists.) Stalwart Greg Monroe led the reserves with 12. What the Pistons failed to do was block shots: Andre Drummond had one, and that was it.

As for the Dynamic Duo, Russell Westbrook came up with 11 rebounds while scoring 22, and Kevin Durant, still playing just under 30 minutes, cranked out 28. Nearly as flashy was Serge Ibaka, with 13 points, 13 rebounds, and four blocks. Reggie Jackson, quite involuntarily, wound up being more playmaker than scorer, though Jeremy Lamb happily took up the slack, dropping in 12. As happened last time, the Pistons got more foul shots (19-28), though the Thunder were 12-17, a decided improvement over the 1-6 they posted that night in November.

Another rematch coming up: Tuesday at the ‘Peake, against the Bucks. OKC will have to win that one also to secure a 1-1 season split.

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All alone on the rack

Dave Schuler is asking: “What was the first record album you purchased with your own money?”

Cover art for Something New by the Beatles 1964The parental units weren’t about to fork over any coin of the realm for me to squander on vinyl — or styrene, as appropriate — so this is my first record album, period. Something New is one of those Frankenalbums Capitol persisted in issuing in those days, partly due to the fact that British LPs tended to have 13 or 14 tracks, while we Americans were dumb enough to settle for eleven. The track list includes eight songs from the UK A Hard Day’s Night album, though not the title track; two cuts from the British Long Tall Sally EP, and a German version of “I Want to Hold Your Hand.” The track ordering is not bad, actually, and for the most part, we were spared Capitol’s infamous mono-reprocessed-for-stereo mixing, though I wouldn’t have known that at the time, having bought the mono version on the basis that (1) I had a fairly crummy record player and (2) stereo would have been a buck extra. Something New peaked at #2 on the Billboard album chart and stayed there for nine weeks; what kept it out of first place was the United Artists issue of the soundtrack to A Hard Day’s Night, another dog’s-breakfast compilation with eight actual Beatles tracks, plus four instrumentals presided over by George Martin.

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As he nibbled at her ear

And can you blame him, really?

Sushi earrings by Hatanaka

The backstory:

My husband asked me a few days ago what I wanted for the holidays and I told him I didn’t know. But after seeing these fake food jewelry designs by Japan-based company Hatanaka, I think I just may want a Beef Bowl necklace, dammit!

I hate these and I kind of love them at the same time. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with wearing a bowl of fake beef around your neck, okay? I mean it’s not like they’re selling something weird, like salami necklaces or bacon earrings…

(From Caitlin D.’s contribution to the Saturday Links yesterday at Rookie.)

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There once were some self-righteous asshats

A young woman wrote a satirical limerick about Michael Brown, at least slightly tasteless and definitely weak in the scansion department. Unsurprisingly, some people found something wrong with that, and are threatening her because hey, social justice, otherwise known as “Freedom for me, but not for thee.”

The only truly satisfactory solution to this would be for the whole sorry lot of them to be rocketed into the Sun, though I suspect the Sun would complain briefly along the lines of “Well, there goes the neighborhood.”

Reminder: Social justice is to justice what social disease is to disease.

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Focused attack

Usually comment spam is just slopped onto the place without any particular regard to where it may land. Which concerns me when it isn’t:

Spam screenshot

I mean, really, what did McGehee do to deserve this?

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Upward mobility

So, Lisa Quam, you’ve won $90 million playing Powerball. Do you quit your job?

She said she would quit her job at plane maker Boeing Co.

Do you buy new wheels?

Quam said she expected to travel more and had already identified her next new car: a Subaru Forester.

Which, for Washington state, will fit right in.

Although this is the part that gets me:

Quam and her husband bought two Powerball tickets on a Thanksgiving Day run to buy a newspaper and pumpkin spice.

For those of you who thought pumpkin spice, barely spice and not even close to being pumpkin, was the creation of Beelzebub — well, even the devil has an off-day now and then.

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Laziness knows no bounds

Exhibit D-plus:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: Does turnitin.com check translation?

Further detail:

If I read an article in spanish and translate it to english will turnitin know that I copied it from the spanish article? Because I mean they’re not the exam same words because they’re in different languages but this technology **** is crazy so you never know idk

Based just on that paragraph, I think it’s safe to assume that just about any reasonably well-written passage in your paper will be challenged just for being reasonably well-written.

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Vague pleasantry

Found this little squib under the title bar at Creative Minority Report:

These days, people say “Season’s Greetings,” which, when you think about it, means nothing. It’s like walking up to somebody and saying “Appropriate Remark” in a loud, cheerful voice.

[nodding in apparent assent]

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Wende time comes

December 7, 1941, said FDR, was “a date that would live in infamy.” This probably doesn’t say anything about Wende Wagner, who was born the day before. With both parents sports-minded — Mom was a champion skier, Dad a swimming/diving coach turned career Navy officer — she gravitated toward doing those things herself, and it’s said that Billy Wilder, then filming Some Like It Hot at Coronado, California, saw Wagner swimming and invited her to take a screen test. “Not while you’re still in high school,” declared the parental units. (Later, she did the test, but turned down a role in Wilder’s The Apartment.)

And so she became an underwater stunt player on Sea Hunt and The Aquanauts:

Wende Wagner on the rocks

After her first marriage broke up, she decided that maybe standing in front of a camera might not be such a bad thing after all, and signed with 20th Century-Fox, where she had small roles in Rio Conchos and Rosemary’s Baby (on loan to Paramount), and a larger one in the TV series The Green Hornet.

Wende Wagner on the sofa

She retired in the early Seventies, and was seldom heard from thereafter, until her death from cancer in 1997.

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Quote of the week

It helps, says Bill Quick, to think of Eric Garner as a small businessman:

One of the side effects of the legal/regulatory state has been to cut off poor people from small-scale entrepreneurship. Want to open a roadside taco stand? Offer cab services with your private car? Braid hair in your living room? Clean houses without a license or OSHA inspection? Work for less than minimum wage?

Add in a host of other restrictions and requirements that effectively function as a moat to competition that protects larger, better funded businesses, and you block an entire class of people (by income) from entrepreneurial work.

Remember the history of Jews in America? Remember the pushcarts and rug peddlers and all the other modes of self-employment that kept them and their offspring warm, fed, and well enough educated to become the next generation of doctors, lawyers, scholars, and businessmen?

We don’t do that any more. And if you try, you risk your life. Because that makes you a vile criminal.

“You must play by the rules,” say the people who invented those rules to benefit themselves and their cronies.

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Deep Sixing

Kevin Durant, asked if the Thunder might overlook the 1-17 76ers tonight, is reported to have quipped: “Nah. We feel like we’re 1-17 too.” And really, however ragtag the Philadelphia roster may appear to be, you won’t persuade me that they’re tanking: they demonstrated considerable skill closing out quarters, something the Thunder didn’t do until the fourth, and I don’t recall any of the Sixers looking lost or bewildered. Indeed, if anyone looked lost out there, it was Durant, who was off his feed or something; he went 3-11 for 10 points. It didn’t matter, though: OKC wins it 103-91 and goes up to, um, 6-13.

This game, I think, was a good example of complementary efforts. Steven Adams scored seven points but collected no rebounds; Kendrick Perkins pulled nine boards (and a Flagrant 1 foul) and no points. And where you’d expect KD to be playing hero ball, there was Jeremy Lamb, knocking down two treys in the final three minutes to seal the deal. Russell Westbrook led all scorers with 27.

But still there were anomalies. The Thunder bench scored 38; the Philly bench scored, um, 38, including a team-high 21 from Robert Covington. Luc Mbah a Moute, who can’t shoot a trey to save his life, knocked down two of them, easy as pie. Michael Carter-Williams (16 points, 14 assists) and Nerlens Noel (11 points, 10 rebounds) posted the only two double-doubles tonight. And give the Sixers credit for going after the damned ball: they outrebounded OKC 44-40, and held a 19-6 edge off the offensive glass. They might yet break their record for futility (9-73, 1972-73), but I’m finding it hard to see that happening.

One more game on this road trip, Sunday against the low-compression Detroit Pistons — who, I remind you, beat OKC at home last month — and then a couple of interesting home games: with the Bucks (who beat OKC in Milwaukee last month), followed by the Cleveland Cavaliers. (Two words: “LeBron James.”) Assuming the Cavs dispatch the Raptors tonight, they’ll be 11-7.

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Snot what one aspires to

Tam has been suffering with some wretched disease this week, and I think it was worse than what I have, based on this observation:

About the middle of the afternoon yesterday, I became one of the world’s leading exporters of mucus. It’s tapered off greatly this morning and is no longer coming out in festive colors, so everything should be good and copacetic by nightfall, but that was really unpleasant.

You probably don’t want to spend any time wondering who might import the stuff.

It occurred to me that we really need some new drugs to replace the wimpy stuff they sell over the counter at Rite-Aid: the bloody dismembering of NyQuil is still fresh in my mind.

Or maybe we need some old drugs:

One Night Cough Syrup

I defy anyone to cough after a tablespoon of that.

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