It’s all about the canines

Two copies of this showed up yesterday, from the same source, less than 60 seconds apart:

Dentofacial and orthodontics orthopedics: facial or tooth deformities owing to intentional damage, accidents and also birth defects are treated by such specialist.

For further information, to see photos of the dog, and to follow the dog’s fate in the news, check out the October 17, 2012 Sacramento Bee article by Cynthia Hubert, “UC Davis vets have tough job treating snoutless dog. Pupils enrolled in an on-line program can teach in places like:.

No snout? How does it smell?

(I know, I know: “Terrible.”)

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Tangled up in black and white

If ever you thought the Nets were snakebit, Tuesday night in San Antonio would have provided a valuable data point: with 24.2 seconds left, the Spurs, leading 113-92, decided not to shoot again, the shot-clock violation was duly called, and the Nets got possession for those last 0.2 seconds — except that they’d already left for the locker room. Coach Jason Kidd had to call a timeout and go find some players for that last smidgen of time.

Kidd apparently made a point about time utilization, because tonight with 0.9 seconds left in the third quarter, Paul Pierce put up a lovely fadeaway from about 16 feet to bring the Nets to within 14 of the Thunder — and then Deron Williams stole the ball from Jeremy Lamb and sank a trey at the horn. Nine seconds into the fourth, Williams, assisted by Andrei Kirilenko, dropped in a jumper. Seven points in ten seconds! Brooklyn kept pressing, and took a two-point lead with 2:01 left on, yes, a Williams trey. Oklahoma City tied it up at 93-all at 0:058; Joe Johnson got off a 20-footer at the buzzer to win it for Brooklyn, 95-93.

So how about those Nets? When they stay focused, they can win. They brought their mid-30s shooting up to 44 percent at the end. They pulled off 13 steals. And they did most of this without Kevin Garnett at Maximum Mean; KG took only four shots all night, making two. It didn’t hurt that Kevin Durant played most of the fourth quarter with five fouls, although KD’s line (24 points on 8-13 shooting) wasn’t too awful. Serge Ibaka logged another double-double, with 10 points and 11 rebounds. And here’s a first: Perry Jones III (!) led the bench with 11.

But there was just no stopping Deron Williams, who came up with a season-high 29 on a mere 17 shots. Paul Pierce bagged 18, and Alan Anderson topped the reserves with 13.

If nothing else, we’ve learned this from the last two games: you can’t let up in the fourth quarter. Will this lesson carry over to Saturday night in Minnesota? Beats me.

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In lieu of an Equal Tweets Amendment

So now this is a thing:

Twee-Q, or Twitter Equality Quotient, is a simple score derived from how often you retweet men or women. We index the latest 100 tweets of a Twitter user and check the names and gender of those retweeted against our database (Swedish SCB, U.S Census 2010). Twee-Q is brought to you by Swedish organization Crossing Boarders, with support from Comviq. Crossing Boarders works to promote equal participation in associations, organizations and businesses. Based on successful experience from gender issues Crossing Borders has developed a practical guide that opens shut doors, introduces female role models and through robust methods, strengthens young women’s confidence and self-esteem. The goal is equal right to an active leisure.

The ideal Twee-Q, they say, is 10: your last 100 retweets were from 50 men and 50 women. On this basis, I rated an 8:

I assure you, I wasn’t keeping count or anything, though if you’d asked me to guess, I wouldn’t have been too far off.

Note that had the proportions been reversed, the score would still have been 8, which is as it should be.

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December here, has anyone seen May?

I was just about to type “Twenty-nine, of course” as an answer to this:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: Men .. What age is a female most attractive in terms of sexual appeal?

She (I assume it’s “she”) continues:

You know how they say that older men in their 40’s and 50’s, in general, prefere younger women for sex/relationships?

Well how much younger do they tend to prefere if they could have any?

If you were a man in your 40’s / 50’s and could have any age woman who was childless what age would be your ideal?

Or would it depend on whether you just wanted sex or a relationship?

Out of interes please state your age?

No longer being in my 40s/50s, I stopped typing. And despite being 60, I still have a memory, so I recalled once — actually, more than once — having pointed out before that someone 31 years my junior should not be on my romantic radar.

Someone did point out to the questioner the existence of the standard rule in such matters: “half your age plus seven.” I am not sure, however, if this applies equally to men and women; is a 50ish woman on solid social ground if she aims her sights on a chap of 32? At one level, I want to say “Of course she is, you moron,” but I have a feeling that she’d be skewered by society for so doing, while a guy robbing the cradle never comes close to getting probation.

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Fluttershub-Niggurath

All I dare give you is the description:

Little Maddie is a Cthulhu-themed My Little Pony designed by Bigshot Toyworks for Friendship is Maddness, a project encompassing a series of animation shorts and toys.

I assume this was approved by the estate of H. P. Lovecolt.

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Not the coolest approach

Says Gael, “The International Packaged Ice Association is a little delusional about the meaning of the word ‘food’.” It would so seem:

Packaged ice bag

On the upside, it’s a beverage — eventually.

Maybe they can use that great expanse of space at the top of the bag for nutritional information.

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An unusually powerful year

If your world is binary, that is:

The twos have been doubled!

Look for this again in 2046, when they won’t have to leave out 32.

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While the ball drops

It is a tradition in parts of South America, says Fausta, to wear fresh yellow underwear to ring in the New Year:

Among the traditions, is wearing yellow underwear at the moment when New Year arrives. According to beliefs, doing so brings wealth and prosperity in the coming year.

Venezuela, the country with the least prosperity, had difficulty following the tradition:

Agencia Carabobeña de Noticias (News Agency of Carabobo, ACN) reported that this year, Yellow Underwear is Rare and Costly, with panty prices increasing by 73% and 185% (depending on the shop) since 2012. Bra inflation was worse, with prices increasing by 300% to 500%. Men’s underpants doubled in price (the article doesn’t specify jockeys or boxers). ACN also itemized the rise in prices in the foods traditionally served on New Year’s Eve, with similar results.

The Venezuelan government, still emotionally wedded to the halfwit Marxism of Chávez, presumably blames gnomes.

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The wheels on the bus restart

Nothing’s graven in stone just yet, but it might be too soon to bury the Volkswagen Type 2, which supposedly died on the 20th of December:

Just days after the production of the Kombi ended, news comes in that the van could get a second lease of life.

Guido Mantega, the Brazilian finance minister is investigating whether there is a possibility to exempt the Kombi from the new safety regulations. His argument is that the original design could not include these features, as in 1950, airbags or ABS were not available, at least not to passenger cars.

This argument, of course, wouldn’t play in the States, where they create standards and then expect you to invent products that meet them. But VW Brazil has this going for them:

The VW Kombi is the sixth best selling commercial vehicle in Brazil, and is the quintessential mode of transport for local businesses.

Good luck, Sr. Mantega. You’ll need it.

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Unfinished business

If I understand things correctly — and who says I do? — it won’t actually be finished so long as I’m breathing.

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Your turn

For the New Year, I proclaim an Open Thread, mostly because I can, and because a few of you will actually use it. I mean, I’m not exactly providing Ace-level material, but hey, it works for me.

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Worst titles of 2013

Listed chronologically:

“The deferens is vas” (20 January)
“Give ’em enough trope” (22 January)
“Trefoiled again” (28 January)
“The sum of all fierce” (31 January)
“Dung and groove” (3 February)
“Peacock blocked” (21 February)
“Tibial pursuit” (26 February)
“Double yellow swine” (13 March)
“Phlegm-phlagm men” (20 March)
“Unlicensed Pilate” (29 March)
“Baby got beak” (4 April)
“And I wonder, still I wonder, who’ll tax the rain?” (6 April)
“Unanswered sprayers” (28 April)
“Meteorillogical” (4 May)
“Augusta wind” (11 May)
“Ctrl-Alt-Filth” (18 May)
“The unbearable being of lightness” (22 May)
“To everything, churn, churn, churn” (23 May)
“Rock out with your cochlea out” (22 June)
“Gotta get down on fried eggs” (30 June)
“No Schmitt, Sherlock” (13 July)
“You may already be a Weiner” (31 July)
“Vault tolerant” (9 August)
“This ought to be Badenov” (20 August)
“Thank you very mulct” (17 September)
“Squintessential” (30 September)
“Billed for Ted’s excrement adventure” (6 October)
“Inalienable writes” (13 October)
“Press Hwæt to continue” (21 October)
“Like a verging” (20 November)
“Old MacDonald had a stack overflow” (29 November)
“Barren manscape” (7 December)
“Get your Manassas in gear” (8 December)
“The velveteen robot” (13 December)
“Miso sorry” (22 December)
“50 ways to leave your lava” (24 December)
“Snip-a-dee doo-dah” (27 December)

(Total number of 2013 posts: 1,874. Also: Worst Titles of 2012; Worst Titles of 2011; Worst Titles of 2010; Worst Titles of 2009; Worst Titles of 2008; Worst Titles of 2007; Worst Titles of 2006.)

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Let it blaze

Some might have been thinking that the Trail Blazers might have been tired after a long slog at New Orleans last night. Not so: all five starters played 38 minutes or more, and all of them scored in double figures. And with one minute left, they’d fought back from a 16-point deficit in the first half to take a four-point lead — not with their vaunted offense, but with a suffocating defense that led the Thunder to do some fairly dumb things in that final frame. (It didn’t help that OKC uncharacteristically missed three of eight free throws.) With 19 seconds left, the Blazers, up by one, burned their last time out; Mo Williams drew a foul and uncharacteristically missed both free throws; the Thunder could not control the rebound, and Wesley Matthews wound up on the line and sank two to put the Blazers up by three. Then Kevin Durant hit one of two foul shots, managed to retrieve the ball, but his shot didn’t fall, and Damian Lillard closed the door with two freebies: PDX 98, OKC 94, and the game and a half distance between them shrinks to just a half.

There is, of course, a Telltale Statistic: Durant had 36 points after three quarters, and finished with 37. With that sort of thing going on, or not going on, the fact that Jeremy Lamb all by himself outscored the entire Portland bench (10-9) seems fairly unimportant. The OKC perimeter defense wasn’t too bad — the Blazers put up 33 treys and made only eight — but the Thunder hit only three of 14. Perhaps more pertinent: Portland collected 16 points from 11 Thunder turnovers, while giving it up only six times for six points.

And then there’s LaMarcus Aldridge, whom the Thunder can defend only fitfully at best. He scored 25 points and collected 14 boards, seemingly without breaking a sweat. Lillard, who had more minutes than anyone — forty-one — picked up 21 points and served up eleven dimes. (OKC in aggregate had only 15 assists.)

So Portland is now 2-0 against the Thunder, with two yet to play. Almost makes you wonder how this rivalry would go if the Sonics were still up Interstate 5. Meanwhile, the Brooklyn Nets will find their way here for a Thursday game.

Addendum: I must pass this along:

Oof.

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Here’s her number, so call her Cindy

For some reason, this makes me strangely happy:

The pop singer Carly Rae Jepsen, who rose to fame in 2012 with her pop single “Call Me Maybe,” will go from the concert stage to the theater stage early next year, when she makes her Broadway debut in the title role of Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella, the show’s producers announced on Sunday.

Ms. Jepsen will step into the glass slippers beginning Feb. 4 for a 12-week run, joining the previously announced Fran Drescher, who will also make her debut on that date and has been cast as the cruel stepmother. Ms. Jepsen is to replace Laura Osnes, who will complete her yearlong run in January.

We pause while you try to imagine a stepmother on the same level of cruelty as Fran Drescher.

And anyway, we already knew she could sing, and she has the credentials for the role:

Ms. Jepsen, 28, grew up with dreams of acting on Broadway and performed in high school productions of Annie, Grease and The Wiz in British Columbia before turning her focus to creating her own music. She also attended the Canadian College of Performing Arts after high school.

Whatever this is, it’s not crazy.

(With thanks to Nancy Friedman, who tipped me off.)

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Meanwhile on 23rd Street

In this state, at least, you can’t spell “gubernatorial” without “goober”:

Though I hold conservative positions on many issues, I am no fan of Gov. [Mary] Fallin, who is a small-scale version of the all-image, little-substance-and-even-less-ability politician dominating many levels of government today and writ largest at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.

But has Mr. [Randy] Brogdon done anything since his 2010 bid for the nomination managed to scare up a whopping 39% of the vote to suggest he can defeat Gov. Fallin, who now wields the mighty mallet of incumbency? No, unless being appointed the Deputy Commissioner of the Fraud and Investigations Unit by Insurance Commissioner John Doak has mystical powers of which I am unaware.

At least you can figure Brogdon is, or has been, well-armed.

Still, Brogdon vs. Fallin is just the primary. (My guess: Brogdon prods her on income-tax relief; Fallin sits there, smiles really pretty and all, crosses her legs, and says that she never promised anyone a rose garden.) Whoever survives that circus gets to face Joe Dorman, whom we’ve already discussed:

[T]echnically, Rep. Dorman, you’re suggesting organs be harvested from living people. That sound you heard was Christian Szell saying, “Ew.”

This particular seat, unlike most in state government, is actually attainable by Democrats; let’s hope they find someone with less amusement potential than Dorman between now and the primary (which is the 24th of June; candidate filing is 9-11 April).

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Windows 86

Just a slight addition to the title screen is all we need:

Sure it looks nifty but everything is in the wrong place and more complicated. It now takes three clicks just to shut down the computer. I know … “Poor baby, you have to click the mouse three times. Boohoo.” But darn it, why? And worse, where did all my stuff go?

Microsoft has evidently decided that since the bulk of their customers don’t know where their stuff is in the first place, this must be what they actually want.

(For you young folks, the title is explained here.)

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