Smitty envisions the scene. (Bogus fantasy detected? Well, maybe.)
Swiped from Marko’s Search Term Safari:
libertarian heartless: “Heartless” is an accusation often hurled at Libertarians by left-leaning folks. In progressive parlance, “heartless” in this context means “insufficiently enthusiastic about spending other people’s money”.
Fortunately for said left-leaning folks, there appears to be no shortage of enthusiasm for spending, on either side of the aisle.
With about three minutes left, radio guy Matt Pinto described Andre Miller and Marcus Camby as “a two-man wrecking crew,” and indeed they laid waste to any plans the Thunder might have had for finishing anywhere higher than eighth seed. How did the Blazers do?
Item: Russell Westbrook didn’t serve up a single assist all night.
Item: Kevin Durant had 21 points in the first half, but only nine in the second.
Item: Serge Ibaka fouled out; Nick Collison finished with five, the last of which was a Flagrant 1.
So Portland goes up 3-1 in the season series with a 103-95 win. Miller and Camby got more than half those points; Camby also reeled in a dozen boards. The Blazers shot 50 percent, and perhaps more important in a Titanic Defensive Struggle, gave up only eight turnovers.
The Thunder did even up the numbers, reboundwise. Big deal. What matters here is that they were tied at 88, and scored only seven points the rest of the way.
The season finale is Wednesday, at the Ford against the Griz, and then it’s Hello Kobe.
No, I don’t mean this site, although it fits. I mean the stuff cited here by The Rejectionist:
Do they, like, hand out a memo on your first day of your MFA program telling you that writing about alcoholic working-class men who cannot communicate with their sons/fathers/wives is the only way to convey Authenticity? Well, take it from the assistant: we never want to see another goddamn book about an alcoholic working-class man who cannot communicate with his son/father/wife ever, ever again, particularly if that story is written by a 22-year-old white kid from Westchester County. Other important things you should know: abortion does not always Tear Relationships Asunder, and anyway Ernest Hemingway already wrote that story in 1927; people from the South occasionally do things besides beat their children; it is possible for a character to have a Moment of Self-Actualization without killing an animal with his/her bare hands; FOR CHRISSAKES HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TELL YOU NOT TO OPEN YOUR STORY/NOVEL WITH A SNOWSTORM.
If this advice perhaps does not pertain to you, read the rest of the article.
(Via the Texas Scribbler.)
First, a restatement of principles, previously codified as Lileks’ Law of Lingerie:
Let us be frank about the purpose of lingerie… It is not normal clothing. It exists for one purpose: to be, eventually, visible for a very short time. If it is visible for a very long time — and I am trying to be delicate about this — then it is not doing its job.
That said, it must be taken into account that some people do not necessarily endorse this particular worldview. For them, there is this lace underwire bra that comes in five fluorescent colors, which presumably will be worn under something relatively flimsy to a place where the lighting can make it visible for longer than a very short time.
This is, I hasten to add, not something I’ve encountered in real life myself. However, the Shoe Girl, a fashion designer herself, spotted this particular look on an A-list singer/fashionista and was sufficiently smitten by the concept to email the celeb in question and ask “Where did you get these?” Celeb responds, Shoe Girl puts up a blog post, I stare in disbelief for a couple of seconds, and then I put up a blog post. It’s amazing how efficiently this particular process works, even if occasionally it challenges my most cherished values.
So … there we were … making our inquiries. The kind administrative lady on the other end of the phone rattled off several names to me … two of which were female … asking if I had any preference. She also took the time to explain to me that the doctors with the Christian names of “Janet” and “Barbara” were women … and might I have a problem with that? Not really … both names were fine with me and who among us gets to choose their first name, anyway? (I didn’t really say that.) I answered in the negative and suggested she assign me to whichever doctor had the lightest patient load, which would only make sense from my point of view and that of the doctor, I’m sure. And so the deal was done.
Eminently sensible, appropriate for a man of these years. But there’s also this:
I’m off for my “get acquainted” appointment in about an hour and my new doctor is male, by the way. I might have made a mistake here now that I think about it. I’ve more than likely blown my only opportunity to get naked in front of a woman again, ever. Damn.
Which is also appropriate for a man of these years, or any years, but perhaps not entirely sensible. Not to say that I wouldn’t do exactly the same thing were I in his boots.
Disclosure: Both my optometrist and my dental hygienist are Major Babes. However, there are no plausible circumstances under which they’re going to see me unclad.
When thinking about all the services provided by federal, state and local governments, 75% of voters nationwide say the average American should pay no more than 20% of their income in taxes. However, the latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that most voters (55%) believe the average American actually pays 30% or more of their income in taxes.
The corporate income tax is passed on to consumers in the form of higher prices at retail, making it not so easy to calculate. Even before I got to that particular consideration, though, I’d already crashed through the 20-percent barrier with last year’s numbers. And if I count both halves of Social Security/Medicare, which is ostensibly paid half by me and half by my employer, and adjust my compensation figure accordingly, I wind up at, yes, 30 percent.
Taxes, after all, are everywhere. The $35 I spent at the gas pump this weekend included $4.35 in tax, though nowhere on the pump or on the purchase receipt will you see it mentioned. And that figure doesn’t include whatever the refiner or the retailer had to collect to cover their taxes.
Now how “average” I am is open to debate. The numbers, however, seem pretty inarguable.
Time for another round of “What’s lurking in the referrer logs?” (Disclosure: None of the funding for collecting this data was spent at strip clubs.)
g “not for use as pants”: It’s the wrong shape, g is. Try a W.
waiting injection panties: I suspect the injection may not go entirely smoothly, IYKWIMAITYD. (Notice: no g.)
where in the hell can i find power seat motor for 86 cutlass: Have you tried the frickin’ junkyard?
child of dust bury microphones alive: I’ve wanted to bury a few microphones in my day, and occasionally the persons behind them.
a year old expired yogurt as mask: What is this, a community-theatre version of A Nightmare on Elm Street?
are new cars driver seat too small: No. The driver himself has too big a seat.
I’m scared to try out for the Brandywiners: What you need is some confidence — and a couple sips of brandy.
unclad greeters at MOMA: They keep those museums pretty cold, too.
“Sophia Loren” “sneezing dress”: A style for every purpose, and a purpose for every style, I always say.
lee’s summit dairy queen Klan: No chocolate-dipped cone for you, Hoodsie.
“yogi bear is gay”: Well, maybe gayer than the average bear.
need cock for my wife in sallisaw: Not my idea of a great trade, but hey…
“aisha tyler” “well hung” Either this guy has his terms confused, or this is the surprise of the decade. Your call:
The Golden State Warriors have something like a hundred and forty-seven ways to score, and it seems like they deployed most of them tonight at Oracle Arena, erasing a twenty-point lead by Oklahoma City and then surprisingly coming up with defense in the last minute or so to edge the Thunder, 120-117.
Comparisons: the Thunder won the rebounding battle, 54-44, but Golden State was far more efficient at scoring: 50.6 percent versus 42.7. (The Thunder actually put up twenty-three more shots, a total of 104.) And the Warriors hit 57 percent of their treys (12 of 21), against 45 (9 of 20) for OKC. The 22 offensive rebounds reeled in by the Thunder produced 19 second-chance points, but it wasn’t enough to ward off the Warrior onslaught.
Monta Ellis (27 points), who’d missed several games with the flu, and Stephen Curry (24) led the Warriors; Reggie Williams added 20 from the bench. Anthony Tolliver, who logged the most minutes (nearly 44), had 14 points and 13 rebounds. The Warriors’ mostly-unheralded defense came up with eight blocks and six steals.
Against all this, another Kevin Durant 40-point performance seemed almost irrelevant, even with 10 rebounds thrown in. Nick Collison, starting in the middle, retrieved 12, as did Serge Ibaka from the bench. Scorers: Russell Westbrook 20, James Harden 18 (nice to see him hitting again), and Jeff Green 16.
This clouds the seeding even further. The Spurs, Trail Blazers and Thunder are all 49-31 now; OKC takes the 8th slot, since both San Antonio and Portland own the tiebreakers. Tomorrow night’s game in the Rose Garden will be pivotal and then some.
Steph Mineart, operator of Commonplace Book, a site I’ve read for 15 years or so, has a letter in the current Entertainment Weekly (#1098) that’s worth mentioning here:
A mystery is a mystery because you don’t realize at first that’s what it is — you’re going along and you start noticing stuff that doesn’t make any sense. You pull the string and it unravels into a big pile. That’s what Lost has been like. But all these imitator shows come out of the gate saying, “Hey, look at this mystery!”
Which is why they tend to fail quickly, of course. (See also Pop Culture Crackdown for parallel observations.)
From my favorite novel, Dodie Smith’s I Capture the Castle, a bit of dinner conversation:
The Vicar was watching us across the table.
“When this house was built, people used daggers and their fingers,” he said. “And it’ll probably last until the days when men dine on capsules.”
“Fancy asking friends to come over for capsules,” I said.
“Oh, the capsules will be taken in private,” said father. “By then, eating will have become unmentionable. Pictures of food will be considered rare and curious, and only collected by rude old gentlemen.”
[T]here’s a certain cold comfort in knowing that if worse comes to worst, nanotechnology might give us a food pill that, taken every 10 years or so, would power our bodies if the planet loses the ability to do so.
I want something that will enable me to eat all the cake, pie, ice cream, pizza, tacos and big-a** burgers I want without gaining an ounce. I don’t care if it’s a pill or a nanobot or what as long as it works and is simple, painless and affordable. And I want it now.
I’ll have what she’s having.
Addendum: “Noshville Katz,” a parody of a certain John Sebastian tune recorded by “The Lovin’ Cohens,” contains this couplet:
Well, there’s 1352 different restaurants in Nashville,
And you can eat anything from a hominy grit to a Contac time pill.
Way too many people are thinking along these lines.
(Lyrics swiped from Blog d’Elisson.)
Well, not yet, but the humble barber pole seems to be an endangered species:
William Marvy Company, the last known manufacturer in North America of the poles, typically sells 500 of them each year, down from 5,100 in the company’s late-1960s heyday.
What caused this decline? The company blames four people: John, Paul, George and Ringo.
Bob Marvy, a second-generation owner of the St. Paul, Minn., company, dates the industry’s slowdown back to an unlikely source: The Beatles. The Fab Four and their trendy mop-tops ruined it for barbers, he thinks. Men who previously went to barber shops weekly for their clean-cut looks started waiting two or even three weeks between trims.
I hit the barber shop weekly when I was in the Army, pretty much because I was supposed to, but I’ve been on a four-week cycle ever since the hair started to go south. (By now, it’s made it to Uruguay.) And the unisex shop I patronize lacks a pole.
Some folks prefer to live behind them. I’m not quite sure I want to.
Just in case you thought I was through with this whole idea:
Same rules as before: we’ve shrunk the photos into this single graphic for the front page, but clicking on any of them will induce rebigulation.
“How glad I am,” Nancy Wilson used to sing, though it wasn’t about this:
Teva Pharmaceutical Industries Ltd said on Wednesday it won U.S. approval for its generic versions of Merck & Co’s blockbuster blood-pressure drugs Cozaar and Hyzaar.
Teva, the world’s biggest generic drugmaker, also said it will have 180 days to market the generics exclusively, an award generally given to companies that challenge patents first. Israel-based Teva said it was launching sales immediately.
I can feel my blood pressure dropping slightly just from the potential for lower wallet strain.
April Winchell, founder of Regretsy, acknowledges the superiority of a culture in which inferiority can be identified and labeled:
Not only is it unnatural to be so relentlessly positive, it’s dishonest. Some things really are better than others. Forcing a positive reaction to everything has created a huge bubble of pressure and resentment. The fail culture has allowed that to burst, and the release is unbelievably satisfying.
Erick Williamson, busted last fall for the heinous crime of being visible in his house while not wearing anything, appealed his conviction, and was acquitted in a mere 20 minutes by a Fairfax County (VA) Circuit Court jury.
Whether or not this man considers himself to be a nudist or naturist is irrelevant, but the issue strikes at the heart of every body freedom advocate who enjoys nudity at home. The police witch hunt against this man, which included sending letters to schools looking for witnesses who might have seen the man nude at other times, is an abuse of power which goes beyond protecting the community, and is designed merely to cover their own asses. The police exceeded their authority in the initial reaction to the incident and then tried to turn it into some sort of danger to women and children in the community merely to justify their heavy-handed actions.
Imagine, asses requiring cover.
I think, though, the most salient point may be this:
Defense lawyer Dickson Young presented another photo taken from the path, and the carport door seemed very distant. Young ridiculed the notion that [complainant Yvette] Dean made eye contact with the naked man.
If a woman is “walking along and sees someone naked,” Young told the jury in his closing argument, “the last thing they’re going to be looking at is his eyes.”
Excuse me while I stifle a giggle.
“The defense is back,” said Scott Brooks after the Denver game. Some of us might have been wondering what he meant, especially since high-velocity Phoenix rolled up 31 points in the first quarter. But Brooks never kids about such things, and in fact, the Suns managed only 34 points in the entire second half, as the Thunder, despite shooting less than 40 percent for the night, rang up a 96-91 win, taking the season series 2-1.
Things did not look so promising early on. Nenad Krstić sat out — bruised knee — and Nick Collison, getting the start, rolled up three fouls in four minutes. The call went out to Air Congo, and Serge Ibaka got to play 24 minutes, in which he scored 15 and swept the backboard nine times. Thabo Sefolosha had 15 points, and Jeff Green had, um, 15 points. Russell Westbrook played ball handler more than sharpshooter — eight points, eight rebounds, 10 assists — and appearing in the role of Kevin Durant was Kevin Durant, who knocked down an almost-usual 35.
The Suns won the battle of the boards, 46-39, and shot 45 percent. What they didn’t do was cash in the freebies (they missed seven of 23 free throws) and hang on to the leather (they turned the ball over 20 times). Still, Amar’e Stoudemire was at least somewhat unstoppable, scoring 17 in the first half but only seven in the second, and pulling down 15 boards; Steve Nash dished up 12 dimes to go with his 11 points.
Oklahoma City now finds itself 49-30. Three games remain: at Golden State Sunday, at Portland Monday, and the finale at the Ford against Memphis on Wednesday. The Grizzlies were kind enough to beat the Spurs tonight, dropping San Antonio into 8th place; where the Blazers end up depends on how they do against the Mavericks at the Rose Garden tonight. For the next hour or two, I’m rooting for Dallas.
Update: Mavs 83, Blazers 77. Nowitzki went up for 40. Bless you, Dirk. So we’re in sixth, one game above Portland.
[T]he airline is also looking at reducing the number of toilets on board, leaving just one available cubicle for up to 189 passengers.
To use the remaining toilet on board, passengers would be forced to part with either £1 or €1 for each visit.
Stephen McNamara, spokesperson for the airline, told TravelMail: “By charging for the toilets we are hoping to change passenger behaviour so that they use the bathroom before or after the flight. That will enable us to remove two out of three of the toilets and make way for at least six extra seats on board.”