You too can be Zooeyfied

Amazing how these things find their way to my inbox:

To Tommy, From Zooey.

It sounds a bit like a love note, but is in fact something different altogether — the name of a new capsule collection designed by Tommy Hilfiger and Zooey Deschanel, the doe-eyed actress, musician and star of the hit TV show New Girl. The collection, which will mainly consist of flirty dresses, will make its debut at Macy’s this spring.

Well, this certainly seems flirty enough:

Dress from To Tommy From Zooey line debuting spring 2014

We will try to overlook the miraculous job they did of transferring every last sign of age from ZD to the steamer trunk.

The dresses will be priced at retail for between $98 and $199, and 14 of the 16 styles will launch at 200 Macy’s stores beginning April 14.

On April 21, the entire lineup is set to reach and Tommy Hilfiger anchor and specialty stores in North America, Europe and Japan. Select Tommy Hilfiger stores will also carry Deschanel-designed jewelry and handbags.

Tommy has an outlet store here in Oklahoma City; I expect to see these dresses no earlier than Memorial Day.

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Such preserveness

This was dropped into the spam trap yesterday, and I suppose there are posts it might fit:

What a information of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable know-how about unpredicted emotions.

I mean, if there’s anything I know about emotions, it’s unpredicting them.

(Is it just my imagination, or is comment spam starting to converge with doge?)

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Chins less bared

Yours truly, from the summer of ’11:

[G]uys have only a few square inches to scrape off every day, if they bother to scrape at all.

And they’re apparently bothering less often:

Movember — the non-profit effort to get guys to let their mustaches grow to raise money for prostate cancer research — got some of the blame for softness in razor sales when [Procter & Gamble] reported financial results [Friday]. In an earnings briefing with reporters, P&G Chief Financial Officer Jon Moeller blamed the razor market’s “contraction in developed regions” cited in P&G’s press release in part on “reduced incidence of facial shaving, and that was exacerbated by the quarter we were just in because of the prostate-cancer related movement in North America not to shave facial hair in the month of November.”

That “reduced incidence” seems to apply to all twelve months, in fact:

Consumer Edge Research analyst Javier Escalante said in an email that Movember “possibly contributed,” but that long-term decline in shaving frequency is the real issue. A Consumer Edge report Jan. 22 found average shaving frequency declined from 5.3 to 4.6 times weekly in the U.S. between 2000 to 2013, particularly in the 18-to-24 age group, where it fell from 4.5 to 3.4.

To contribute a lone data point of my own: 5.9.

(Via this Virginia Postrel tweet.)

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Life continues to find ways to kill you

Over the years, they — you remember “them,” don’t you? — have been differentiating between “good” cholesterol and “bad” cholesterol. Apparently, though, the “good” isn’t always so good:

The evidence shows that having a high ratio of good to bad cholesterol is good for health.

However, researchers at the Cleveland Clinic say trials aimed at boosting levels of HDL have “not been successful” and the role of good cholesterol is clearly more complicated.

In their study, published in the journal Nature Medicine, they showed how HDL cholesterol could become abnormal.

One of the researchers, Dr Stanley Hazen, said HDL cholesterol was being modified in the walls of the artery.

There is but one God, and Steve H. Graham is His prophet.

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Fine feathered fiends

This did not begin well. The Thunder jumped off to a 2-0 lead on a Kendrick Perkins turnaround fadeaway. The Hawks responded with a Kyle Korver trey, and from that point continued to knock down three-pointers seemingly with impunity. Atlanta was up seven at the half, eight after three; the Thunder finally tied it up at 107-all with 2:11 left, and took the lead with 25 seconds left on a jumper by (who else?) Kevin Durant. It took only three seconds for the Hawks to come back with a Paul Millsap layup; Durant pulled up with 1.5 left to make it 111-109 Thunder, and Atlanta’s last try ended up out of bounds.

Let us not minimize this Hawk effort. Mike Budenholzer played only nine men, and seven of them made double figures. (Gustavo Ayon didn’t score ten, but he got ten rebounds and the highest plus/minus on the floor.) It was Millsap who got team-high honors, with 23. Atlanta owned the boards, 40-33. And the Hawks connected on 12 of 25 treys — though the box score won’t tell you that at one point in the second quarter they had seven of nine.

Still, nobody closes out a game like Kevin Durant. KD wound up with 41 points on 15-25 shooting and five of seven three-pointers. (When it was all over, OKC actually had one more long-ball make than the Hawks.) Jeremy Lamb went 5-8 to lead the bench with 14; Reggie Jackson knocked down 18, and Serge Ibaka, just for funsies, blocked six shots, four more than all nine Hawks.

It’s not going to get any easier, though. The Heat await in Miami Wednesday night, and either KD or LeBron, or both, will take it personally.

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You’ve got pricier mail

As of today, it costs 49 cents to mail a letter through the Postal Service. You can no longer do what I did, which was buy up a bunch of “Forever” stamps at the old rate at the last minute — save that idea for the next increase — but there’s one step you can take to minimize your expense:

Discount postage exists primarily because of stamp collectors. When I was growing up in the 1960s, the popularity of the hobby was rising; advertisements for collectible stamps were in every issue of Boy’s Life and in comic books. Increased participation in the hobby generated drove prices higher, so many collectors began to put away sheets and blocks of mint stamps as “investments.”

However, as the decades went by, the interests of young people shifted toward pastimes that required electrical outlets. The demographic profile of the average collector got older, so that now many of the stamps saved as investments are coming back on to the market, and are for sale at prices below their “face” value.

There are other reasons for the availability of discount postage, such as scrap left over by current-day collectors of plate blocks and plate number coils, or mistakenly large purchases for business use (and see the addendum at the bottom of this post), but to make a long story short, postage stamps can easily be purchased today at discounted prices. This is perfectly legal. The stamps were originally purchased from the postal authorities as advanced payment for future service; a stamp issued in 1953 is just as valid for postage now as it was then.

That Addendum suggests that you watch out for very recent stamps being offered at discount; there’s a chance their original acquisition may have been, um, questionable.

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Read instruments

This chart from Pew Research has been making the rounds, and I suppose it’s intended to be reassuring to those of us who really don’t have a good reason to assume our fellow Americans are as brilliant as we are. (Not that anyone is ever going to accuse me of brilliance, but work with me here.) Anyway, these are the numbers they churned up about America’s Reading Habits:

A snapshot of Reading in America in 2013 from Pew Research

And then the complaints came in. From syaffolee, a member of None of the Above:

This is interesting, although I’m annoyed with the race/ethnicity category. How hard is it to include “other”?

Bill Quick suspects something:

My guess is that there is a fair amount of lying going on. Admitting you haven’t read a book in the past year is tantamount to admitting that you’re a dumbass.

One of the reasons I slapped that “Currently reading” gizmo on the sidebar was to make sure I actually got around to reading some books; there are, I have discovered, people who notice it. (Week before last, someone actually quizzed me about it on Twitter.) I’d be interested to know how many of the respondents to this survey read at least two books last year.

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Just don’t call it “support”

As everyone knows, after the 8th of April you and your antiquated Windows XP box are on your own: Microsoft assumes no further responsibility for the safety of your data.

Well, except for this:

Microsoft will be able to silently reach into Windows XP PCs for more than a year after it stops patching the aged OS to clean malware-infected machines, sources close to the company confirmed Friday.

The Malicious Software Removal Tool (MSRT) will continue to be updated and deployed via Windows Update through July 14, 2015, 15 months after the Redmond, Wash. company serves its final public security patches for XP on April 8 of this year.

By extending the life of the MSRT — and more importantly, automatically running it each month — Microsoft will be able to clean some PCs if massive malware outbreaks hit Windows XP after it’s retired from support.

“If”? The phrase “sitting ducks” comes immediately to mind.

What’s more:

Previously, Microsoft said it would stop shipping Security Essentials’ signature updates to XP PCs after April 8. But in a tacit nod to XP’s widespread use, Microsoft postponed the cut-off until July 14, 2015.

This will do wonders for Redmond’s public image. Now if they could just vend a few more Windows 7 licenses…

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Strange search-engine queries (417)

Monday morning brings a fresh load of wacko search strings from the week’s logs. And sometimes I’m not sure whether the operative word is “fresh” or “load.”

where’s the transmission dipstick for mazda 626 lx 5 speed:  You want a dipstick for a manual gearbox? Sheesh.

susan sarandon bow legs:  Yeah, but no one looks that far down.

i seen enough hen:  So you oppose the Urban Chickens initiative?

It’s hot in there apartment but it’s freezing in mines. The damn radiators is not even hot I don’t care what Lynn said about her apartment mines is cold. I’m letting you know today I’m moving on the first of the mont:  Trust me, you won’t be missed, and Lynn doesn’t give a damn one way or another.

post menopausal closet communist hag:  Well, there’s always the Democratic convention, where — oh, wait, you said “closet.” Never mind.

u tube in car trans rebuild probe mazda:  Oh, yeah, like you’re going to rebuild a transmission by watching YouTube. Go do something useful like mine bitcoin.

sundi varjan tum hi ho:  Well, it’s about time they brought back Carnac the Magnificent.

“pointy toe” “her feet” 2014:  I’m sure Wikipedia has an article on podiatry.

the american dream is not fundamentally about stardom or extreme success. in recalibrating our expectations of it, we need to appreciate that it is not an all-  inclusive mechanism; it specifically excludes people who try to do term papers by combining half a dozen Google searches and calling it “research.”

why does laura san giacomo wear baggy clothes wear baggy clothes:  Because she damn well wants to wants to.

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A finite list

Jack Baruth explains the bottom of the Infiniti car line — the truck line makes no more sense, but that can wait for another time — thusly:

The G37 is no more. Enter the Q40, which is basically last year’s stripper-model G37 with a different badge. Supposedly an entry-level compact-lux car is coming, which would be named Q30. Think of the Q30 as being the old G20, the Q40 as being the old G37, and the Q50 as being the new G37.

You already know what I think of this scheme. We can only imagine what names they threw away to arrive at this point:

  1. T42
  2. asi9
  3. EcoBurst
  4. 1WK
  5. Z71
  6. 4.9GX
  7. Aluminum Duke
  8. 10.2.4
  9. 2002ti
  10. WD-40

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More random rants

You’ve seen this concept before; I’m hoping that enough time has elapsed since then to allow me to do the same thing again.

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We can’t thrive (65)

This minor statistical factoid was stuffed into one of those staggeringly popular OMGWTFBBQWAGD weather articles:

The natural gas-weight heating degree days value for January is expected to reach 1,062.9, higher than the five-year average of 949.5 and the coldest since 2001.

Um, say what?

The value is determined by subtracting the daily average temperature from a base of 65 degrees Fahrenheit, the resulting number is a measure of how cold it is and how much energy is needed to keep homes and warm.

There are also cooling degree days, derived in almost the same manner, which will explain why you spent so much for air conditioning in July.

I just wonder where that 1062.9 figure comes from. Is it a national average? Because the January average in Oklahoma City is 798, and we have 651 through yesterday.

(I’ve attempted to explain this before, with arguable results.)

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A chilly reception

From an active petition at

We, the undersigned call for the establishment of officially designated, properly signed, clothing-optional recreation areas within the national parks, forests and other federally managed public lands to allow fair and equitable access to users who enjoy outdoor clothing-optional recreation, modeled after the successful and popular Gunnison Beach clothing-optional recreation area that is part of the Sandy Hook unit of the Gateway National Recreation Area managed by the NPS.

Signatures have been few and far between, which has caused some concern:

It seems a safe assumption that 10 days into the petition effort there are far more nudists and naturists that are now aware of the petition than the 2000+ who have signed it thus far but many for whatever reason haven’t signed. It is interesting to contemplate why more haven’t signed.

Since this all started some have expressed the opinion that there is simply too much apathy within the community of nudists and naturists and mounting an effective campaign for change in the face of that reality is just not a possibility. In other words, unless a nudist or naturist feels that an issue has some perceived effect that he or she will feel at the basic individual level they really don’t care much for what effect it might have for other nudists or naturists or the community as a whole. Personally that view has always seemed a little too cynical to me. While I have no evidence to back it up, I simply don’t accept that people don’t sign a petition like this because they simply don’t care.

Well, I can tell you exactly why I haven’t signed: to sign a petition at, you have to register with, and I refuse to give those weasels a direct line to my inbox. That’s what they have the NSA for, right?

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A great big sled

With a very tiny occupant:

The Bonannis live at the top of Cinnamon Drive, a quiet residential street in Roxborough [neighborhood of Philadelphia] whose steep grade makes it a perfect sledding spot. But what’s good for sledding is often bad for driving — Fabian always has trouble getting the family’s car up that hill in the snow, and he knew that the storm would pose a problem.

So, knowing that his wife, Shirley, was due at any moment, he bought the sled and kept it handy in case they’d have to make a quick exit to his car, which he parked at the base of the hill.

George Leader lives at the bottom of the hill, and this is what he saw:

“I ran out after I heard the commotion,” Leader said, “and it was clear that this was happening now.

“I just sprung into action; I wasn’t even thinking.”

Leader called 9-1-1 as Fabian delivered his daughter, scooping her into his arms as his wife braved the morning’s subzero temperatures.

Fabian then charged up the hill, baby in his arms, as Leader and Shirley’s parents, just arriving on the scene, took charge of the mother; eventually parents and child were ported to the hospital for the once-over.

Little Bella has a two-year-old brother, Logan, who was delivered a bit more conventionally.

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Rocking the Cradle of Liberty

Kevin Durant’s sore shoulder evidently didn’t stay so for long: he played 44 minutes tonight at Philadelphia, and you’d never know he’d been away for a whole day. The 76ers put up a fight, grabbing just as many rebounds (44) as the Thunder, including a whopping 19 off the offensive glass, getting them some second-chance and even third-chance points, but it didn’t matter: KD was working up a triple-double — got it, too, with 32 points, 14 rebounds, and ten assists — and in the face of this statistical storm, maybe losing 103-91 isn’t quite so bad for the Sixers.

Philly did get a fair amount of offense going, led by swingman James Anderson, the Oklahoma State product, who picked up 19 points, just under twice his season average. Thaddeus Young recorded a double-double, with 13 points and ten boars; Evan Turner and Spencer Hawes also hit double figures. But 34-90 shooting does not win games, even if it occasionally gives you second-chance points, and especially if the opposition bags six more makes on 14 fewer attempts.

This is not to say that the Thunder were a well-oiled offensive machine running at its peak: while they did hit 52 percent, they were a woeful 4-21 on three-pointers. (Still, the Sixers were woefuller, hitting four of 27.) But with KD’s 32, 25 from Serge Ibaka (and five blocks), 12 from Nick Collison to lead the bench — well, the number that stands out is +17, recorded by Derek Fisher in 21 minutes despite clanking four out of five shots. It wouldn’t be the first time the offense seemed to show up just because the defense needed something to do every other possession.

If nothing else, it was a clean game; no shouting matches, no second-guessing the officials, and nobody got T’d up for anything. And this happened in Philadelphia, folks.

Next: a single home game, against the Hawks on Monday, followed by a three-games-in-four-days road trip: Miami, Brooklyn and Washington.

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You can call me Al

Actually, you could call her Al, at least back in the Nineties: Christine Lakin played Alicia Lambert, familiarly known as Al, on the ABC TV series Step by Step, a sitcom about two single parents, each with three children, who get married. (Any similarity to The Brady Bunch was probably intentional.) When Step by Step started in 1991, she was twelve. In this picture, she is not twelve:

Christine Lakin in 2011

Lakin, who just turned thirty-five, has been quite busy lately; among other places, you may have caught her as Joyce Chevapravatdumrong Kinney on Quahog Channel 5 News.

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