Found in some guy’s online-dating profile:
If I were a girl, I’d date me!
I believe that meeting someone online “in-person” for the first time must be effortless. You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression so if you flake for any reason, or take my number and not call me within 48 hours, we won’t get along. I have zero tolerance for indecisiveness, games and flakes. So here I am in a nutshell. More in detail when we meet. I’m driven, hard working and a good catch. I think your friends and family would like me. I think you’ll fall head over heels in love with me if you get to know me. I’m at the stage in my life where I would be interested in a fun, meaningful, long-term relationship, taken one phase at a time. We don’t have to jump right into anything serious, but it would be nice to meet someone that I enjoy sharing my time with and vice versa. If you think we’ll pair well together, I’d like to hear from you and please feel free to ask questions. Thanks!
Disclaimer: My apologies for being straightforward. It’s my personality. I would be interested in meeting like minds a/k/a straight shooters. Take a look again at my pics, what you see is a man who knows what he doesn’t want. Any women up for the challenge?
That first line, to me, screams “NARCISSIST!”
And what’s with the “disclaimer”? Isn’t that just a bit too precious?
I’m your typical male. I’ll be hot and heavy in the beginning but bore of you easily. I want a long term relationship but don’t have time for one. I do however have time to constantly log onto my online dating account. “I’m straightforward” really means I’m going to tell you that you are old and your biological clock is ticking. Don’t bother calling me because I won’t return your calls but you better answer mine or I’ll consider you a flake.
It occurs to me that she could be filling a genuine marketing niche here: the person who explains to guys why their online profiles suck so badly. For a not-too-small fee, she could intercept the profile before it goes live and suggest the sort of corrections that will reduce the possibility of reader derision.
And, of course, she reserves the right to post the most egregious failures on her blog.
Disclaimer: Were overall reader derision to be substantially reduced, opportunities for blogfodder derived therefrom can be expected to experience similar reductions. Your mileage may vary. See writer for details.