Suzanne Schell lists some phrases she found in advertising for women’s swimwear, and while I’m not in the market for women’s swimwear, I found the effect in aggregate to be downright daunting:
Potential problem areas, Draw attention away from, Draw attention to, Slimming, Conceals, Hides, Camouflages, Minimizes, Problem areas, Trouble spots, Figure flaws, Slimming panels, Tummy control, Compresses, Flattens, Enhances, Maximizes, Deflect attention from, Doesn’t add poufiness, Smoothes out any lumps, Stay away from adding any bulk, Built in bra for support and shape, Draws attention to an area that you do want to flaunt, thus distracting from an area you don’t.
Geez. Almost, though not quite, an argument for a burqa. (Until you get it wet, and the added weight drags you into the undertow.)
(Found in the AANR E-Bulletin, which lands in members’ inboxes once a month, which fact will give away Ms Schell’s own swimwear preference. And no, they don’t have an annual Swimsuit Issue.)