Start with a pool of six million women. Sounds like a lot? Well, Lincoln Adams just can’t beat the odds:
Since I won’t likely consider dating someone younger than 25, not just because of the creepy age difference, but also because someone that young will have a different and more naive perspective on life that would undoubtedly clash with my own sadder (but wiser) worldview, I’ve thus limited my options to within this age range [25-34].
I will concede only the “creepy age difference”; I’ve found naïveté from 8 to 80, and everywhere in between. (I can occasionally see it in my mirror, in fact.)
I also won’t consider anyone with kids either, not merely because of the inherent risks that comes with raising someone else’s children (and the fact that I would be playing second fiddle to the kids right from the start), but also because Mommy would hurt me really badly if I ever brought home a girl cradling Junior and Juniorette on each arm.
I have no experience in this realm, so I toss no brickbat here, though a couple of them suggest themselves.
So, according to stats I found elsewhere, 34% of women who have never married have kids. That winnows down the list to less than 4 million.
Since subjective traits such as personality, etc. can’t be measured in statistics, I’ll use the voting record to at least filter out those with incompatible political views. Since I’m conservative that would rule out the 70% of women who voted for Obama, which leaves me with less than 1.5 million eligible women.
See, for instance, me: “[F]or a long-term relationship, it’s better if the couple is somewhere within the same chapter, if not necessarily on the same page.” Still, bringing up the topic, unless a couple routinely discusses political matters, is a guaranteed trip to Awkward City.
Even now that still fails to take into consideration physical chemistry, common personality traits, religion, etc. (and also hoping she is of a sound enough mind without the need for mind altering drugs to keep her from going batpoopie insane.) Using all these factor it would be a MIRACLE if there were even 500,000 women left, but I’ll be generous though and presume even accounting for all these additional factors, there are still 1 million girls left that I can sample like a tasty free snack at the local supermarket. ["naughty" smiley in original] 1 million though only is 0.33% of the entire United States population. Less than one third of one percent. Gees.
Still, a pool of 500,000 is pretty substantial if all you need is one. I figure even a pool of 1,238 ought to suffice if you’re industrious enough, which I’m not.
Then again, do you know 1,238 women? Neither do I. And therefore:
Even if I stayed within the states, just traveling everywhere I can and as much as I can would at least boost the odds that I’ll come across one of the 1 million decent girls who might be … THE ONE. Heck even traveling just 150 miles into Pennsylvania opened up a few opportunities for me. One thing’s for sure, I’ve been stuck here in New York for 30 something years and I have not come any iota closer to finding anyone. There really may be nothing for me here, so maybe it’s time to see what’s out there instead.
Alternatively, Dan Collins tweets: “Have you tried mail order?”