Another plug to be pulled

One of the more curious screen resolutions I’ve ever had to deal with is 544 x 376, which was the size of the original WebTV (later MSN TV) screen. Our decidedly low-tech customer base flocked to the service, and I learned quickly enough to keep the page width down to 540 or so.

Well, what’s left of that base is now being deflocked:

MSN TV closure announcement

WebTV was founded in 1996; Microsoft bought it the next year for $425 million, and turned a fair profit on the service for several years. But no platform can last forever, and this one dies at the end of September.

(Via this Steve Lackmeyer tweet.)

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Pollock exhibition

Recently seen on the frozen-fish shelf: Van de Kamp’s Sandwich Fillets, for those of us who never remember to order a Filet-O-Fish at Mickey D’s. (Then again, about the only time I duck under the Golden Arches is to snag a McRib, at which time I’m not even thinking fish.)

Of course, these are pricey: a box of six approaches $7. Still, how many can you eat at one sitting? I duly picked up a box, slid a couple of the little rectangles onto the cookie sheet, and baked for 29 minutes at 425°F. There was a sauce recipe on the box, which probably wasn’t as convenient as a little packet you can dribble onto the product, but I’d just as soon whip up my own anyway. (Try this, and remember you have to start it half an hour before baking.)

The result was surprisingly good, if a tad short of my gold standard for such things: the fishburger (or whatever it was called) on the kids’ menu at El Matamoros in Austin, which I remember vividly despite not having been there in fifty years.

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Live deadbeats

You know those “buy-here-pay-here” used-car lots? They’re hoping you don’t pay, here or anywhere else:

If the downpayment-plus-interest is high enough, every buyer who defaults is a source of profit: you have what he’s paid to date plus you have the car back to resell. Since most of the cars are older and already past their point of steepest depreciation, your biggest expense is the fees for the repo man and the detailer.

I’ve actually had the experience of trying to buy a car from one of these guys for straight cash, 100% of the price on the barrelhead… and being turned down because I wasn’t going to be paying 12%+ interest for half a year and then defaulting on the note.

Similarly, at least once a week on Yahoo! Answers some poor shlub will ask some variation of “If I’m paying cash for my car, how much discount can I expect?” He is always surprised to hear that the answer is none: the dealer is hoping to make some money off the financing, and if you take that revenue source away, he’s going to make it up somewhere else.

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Contemporary futilitarianism

Feel “used” lately? There are apparently those who think you should:

It’s a commonly expressed sentiment that “we’re all users;” alternately, that “we’re all prostitutes.” The idea, of course, is that with the exception of whatever pure-subsistence farmers remain in the world, each of us sells something — his labor, his skills, or his brainpower — to earn his living. We “use” the desire of others for what we can do to produce income for ourselves, “just like a prostitute.”

This quasi-condemnation of Mankind is among the foulest propositions ever to gain currency among us. It relegates the one and only way in which men could advance from the bloody savagery of the jungle — the division of labor and subsequent specialization of men into our many distinct trades — to the plane of venality. For what does it mean to say that Smith is “using” Jones? Doesn’t that imply that Jones’s desires are of no moment? That Smith is trying to get Jones to do something that is in no way in his interests, and indeed might be against them? How does that match up against the requirement, in a free and open market, that both participants in any transaction must regard it as beneficial to them on net balance?

The “free and open market” is the problem, according to proponents of this foul proposition: in any such market, there is competition, and therefore there will be unequal outcomes, which are deemed unacceptable in this day and age. “Fairness,” doncha know.

Of course, if life were actually fair, then your below-average outcome is, by definition, your fault. So there’s a definite disconnect between fairness and “fairness,” which governmental mutts are more than happy to exploit, knowing that Smith and Jones have day jobs and therefore aren’t able to spend forty hours a week inventing grievances for the government to redress.

Inevitably, this traces back to Marx and “to each according to his needs” — except, of course, for those who have oh-so-willingly tasked themselves with deciding what those needs are supposed to be. “Eight point five,” says Dante, checking their itinerary.

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Purely theoretical

That’s the answer. One possible question: “How’s your love life?”

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Strange search-engine queries (388)

Did I get four days off? Of course not. Did I spend four days looking through the logs, trying to find enough search strings for you guys this Monday morning? Well, um, no, not really.

to get past “alice” reverse one of your items and insert the roman numerals for 1001, 51, and 11 into it to make your two word phrase:  Even more baffling than the Konami Code.

sms scam 2005 rita grower:  Actually, I hear Rita’s a shower, not a grower.

“jack webb” “you’re my girl”:  Whatever floats your boat, hotshot, but Joe Friday doesn’t get down that way.

Pictures of the Pearly Gates with pet door:  Actually, they get the main entrance; it’s the humans who have to crawl their way to the back porch.

allintext: Martin Luther King had the fantastic replica watches uk to do away with the racial discrimination and segregation for your black. How about you and how about me? I’d like to tell you my replica:  You know, if there really was something on your wrist that could expunge the stench of racism forever, there are people who’d move mountains to cut off your arm. Isn’t that right, Reverend Al?

tweetdeck stop working:  Just wait a few minutes and it will quit on its own.

everything see me:  So either go inside, or put on some pants.

video for loading struts jar files in my ellipse:  I have no idea what you’re talking about, so please either go inside or put on some pants.

Unhashed feet:  Well, I should certainly hope so.

“she wears a size 10 shoe”:  Leaving no room for hash.

is fluttershy supposed to sound like marilyn monroe:  Well, no, not specifically, but she shouldn’t ever sound like that guy from Crash Test Dummies either.

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A sacred golden cup

It is an article of faith in some circles that people gravitate toward the welfare system because it makes more room in the budget for, as the phrase goes, prescriptions available without a prescription.

Or, you know, not:

Last year, the Republican-dominated Oklahoma Legislature passed a law that requires drug screening of adult applicants for Temporary Assistance for Needy Families or TANF. The Oklahoma Gazette reported this week that only 29 out of about 1,300 applicants were supposedly caught under the new program from November 2012 to February 2013. That’s a whopping 2.2 percent, and even those who refused to take additional tests weren’t exactly caught doing illegal drugs or didn’t receive money.

Given some of the measures they come up with, I’d be surprised if only 2.2 percent of legislators were doing drugs.

And even if they’d caught twenty, forty, fifty percent, a rule like this sets an extremely bad precedent: it opens the door for all manner of mischief. What’s to stop some petty tyrant of the Michael Jacobson mindset from installing a weigh station at the supermarket checkout and disallowing any purchases he deems inappropriate for your BMI? Legislative Republicans need to put down the bong and rethink this thing.

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Sharply detailed

“The first three weeks are wonderful,” says Doghouse Diaries:

Typical razor blade usage

Do women follow this schedule? (And if so, why?)

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What happens when you’ve been tooling along for years with a hundred visitors a day, and then one day twenty thousand show up?

A few days back, Julie Neidlinger wrote a longish post about her wicked Diet Coke habit, which contained this statement I consider well worth repeating:

Let’s just be honest: people who point out the inadequacies in my eating and health regimen are merely quibbling over the bet they’re placing that I’ll die first. You’re telling me I’m killing myself and it’s my fault. You almost hint that I can take the blame for any physical ailment coming my way. I propose that cellular degeneration and the natural order of things might get some blame, and not just that Snickers I ate yesterday.

Upon reading that, I uncorked — okay, unscrewed — a fresh bottle of Dr Pepper. And not Diet Dr Pepper, either.

The word spread. Over six thousand shared the story on Facebook. It was tweeted more than a hundred times. The Google+ counter doesn’t say anything, but I know there was at least one.

And finally:

Today I was out visiting Fort Abraham Lincoln with friends, and my phone kept beeping and vibrating from tweets and email notifications of comments that awaited moderation as we walked through Gen. Custer’s house and the Mandan village. I finally turned off Twitter notifications, because I can’t even process having more than 100 followers, much less deal with comment moderation.

Comment moderation is a tricky business. You’re damned if you don’t (spammers! d-bags!) and damned if you do (you hate free speech! comment nazi!).

I do as little comment moderation as I can get away with, not so much that I worry about being called a Nazi — believe me, there are creatures far worse than Nazis out there, and rather a lot of them are holed up even now in Mordor-on-the-Potomac — but because I am basically lazy and can expect the automated tools on hand to dispose of 90 percent of the stuff.

Still, twenty thousand visitors in a day, half again as many as I’ve ever gotten in 24 hours, will do things to your head:

And now I’m not sure how to write the next blog post because a bunch of people signed up for my email newsletter and it is inevitable that I’m going to write something someday that makes them unsubscribe or unfollow on Twitter and watching numbers on the wane again and losing hard-earned readers after a decade of blogging in what feels like perpetual obscurity makes it tempting to sort of water down my usual post style to stave off the inevitable.

And now you know why I have never had an email newsletter, though I have several hundred subscribers to the site feed. Besides, the one saving grace of perpetual obscurity is that it’s long-lasting; you never have to worry that you’re getting too big for your britches.

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North side story

East side, west side — who cares? People want to live on the north side:

Most people, knowing nothing else about a city, would rather live in the northern half of town than in the southern, says Brian Meier, associate professor of psychology at Gettysburg College in Gettysburg, Pa. People tend to see the north as more desirable and affluent, in turn fueling stereotypes about where the rich and the poor live.

“For some reason, people see the north and south as very different,” Prof. Meier says. “When all else is equal, people have this bias to think that northerly areas are better or more affluent.”

Where does this location bias come from? Think “up” and “down”:

Although north and south are abstract concepts, we tend to understand them in spatial terms, with north meaning up and south meaning down. We then take it a step further and tie the two words to emotion, where up means good and down means bad — “feeling up or feeling down, on cloud nine or down in the dumps,” [Meier] explains. Pop culture furthers this idea; think of Billy Joel’s 1983 song about a blue-collar “downtown man” in love with a high-class “uptown girl.”

At some point, this directional metaphor becomes so ingrained in our minds that we can’t separate metaphor from concept, and north becomes good, and south becomes bad.

Gerardus Mercator never heard Billy Joel, but his map projection from the sixteenth century has the effect of making the northern hemisphere look more important than the southern, simply because far northern zones contain more actual land than far southern zones, and the projection exaggerates that disparity. (Greenland, for instance, appears to be larger than Africa, which is actually about 14 times the size of Greenland.)

Tulsans will happily point out that their south side is fine, thank you very much, but this is most likely a residual effect of Jim Crow.

(Via this Costa Tsiokos tweet.)

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Two roads diverged

The writer known to the ponyverse as Bad Horse explains the bifurcation of culture, and why it’s becoming more so:

I’d given up on writing, because I’d convinced myself that you could either write interesting fiction, or entertaining fiction, but not both. Even Shakespeare, who’s famous for writing for both the literati and the pit, did it by alternating between highbrow and lowbrow in a clumsy way that he only played for humorous contrast and that comes across as condescending. Then I read Fallout: Equestria. It proved that you can write fiction that’s interesting and exciting at the same time.

Only later I realized why you never find writers who are both interesting and entertaining, and why it had to be a fan-fiction writer who combined the two again. There’s probably always been a polarization between highbrow / intellectual and lowbrow / commercial. But for the past 100 years, it’s been a war. The highbrow, serious, academic works in every art — literature, poetry, painting, architecture, music — deliberately cut themselves off from the mainstream and forced anyone who wanted to gain admission to their circles to make art that most people hated. I’m not making this up; you can still find manifestos that artists from the 1910s like Ezra Pound churned out like conspiracy-theorist blog posts, explaining why art has to be unpopular to be good. This is why, for example, the great poets of the 20th century, like Robert Frost, Langston Hughes, and Billy Collins, were insulated from academia or studied other, older traditions. Likewise, kkat [author of Fallout: Equestria] probably didn’t realize she was stepping into the middle of a war and was supposed to choose sides. If you write mass-market paperbacks, you’re pretentious and artsy if you challenge the values of your target audience. If you write for a literary press, writing an exciting adventure would be gauche. It’s not about art; it’s about tribal affiliation.

One need only look downtown to Stage Center to see a shining (if the sun hits it just right) example of a genuine work of art that rather a lot of people can’t stand. The true artiste does not compromise with mere taste; Arnold Schoenberg once said that “if it is art, it is not for all, and if it is for all, it is not art.” And Billy Collins, despite having served a term as the Poet Laureate of the US, is not exactly a household word; I have long suspected that he’d have achieved greater fame had he twisted his name into something like “B. Coraghessan Collins.”

I encountered an example of this disjuncture myself, as a high-school student earnestly blabbing away about a Jack Finney novel — no, not the one you’re thinking — and then being shot down by a teacher who wondered why I was bothering with this comparatively “accessible” stuff while dust accumulated on The Vicar of Wakefield. Then again, I suppose this must be taken in context: said high school’s campus was constructed circa 1915, which made it hideously contemporary in a city founded in 1670. For that matter, it wasn’t like Oliver Goldsmith truly aspired to the highest of brow heights; from better habitations spurn’d due to his dissolute lifestyle, he churned out lots of sub-Dickensian prose for hungry London publishers.

And there are times when I give thanks for my own relative insulation from academia, though this reaction may be more political than cultural.

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Tall crib in Deep Deuce

Thunder small forward Kevin Durant continues to live large, but not that large. The County Clerk reports that Durant has closed on the purchase of two adjacent three-story townhomes in The Hill at Bricktown, at 420 and 422 Northeast 2nd. Each of these had been listed in the $900,000 range; Durant peeled off $1,769,000 for the pair, which I assume he’s going to turn into one humongous 7300-square-foot pad.

This will, of course, cut down his commuting time substantially, at least on game days; however, he’s not that much closer to the Thunder practice facility out on the Broadway Distention.

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We wish her luck

Turkish actress Melisa Sözen was born on this date in 1985 in Istanbul (no, not that other place). Her first film role was in Çağan Irmak’s Bana şans dile — “Wish me luck” — which apparently is a (very) thinly disguised rewrite of Richard Bachman’s Rage. (Bachman, you may remember, is a very thinly disguised Stephen King.) Sözen plays a character named Tuba.

Melisa Sözen

Filmed in 2001, Bana şans dile did not see wide distribution for six years. Irmak apparently did not like it much. I’m pretty sure this wasn’t Melisa’s fault.

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Twelve tones, no weighting

Arnold Schoenberg wasn’t the first composer to use elements of serialism, but he was the first to impose a structure this rigid: all twelve notes in the chromatic scale receive (more or less) equal attention, and key signatures as we know them are essentially irrelevant.

Not that I could explain it beyond that point. Fortunately, there is someone who can:

After seeing this for the first time, I mentioned on Twitter that I’d learned more from this half-hour of unconventional pedagogy than from a whole semester of theory. (And it is half an hour, so pour yourself a tall one and settle back.)

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Now, about those minutes

Who has standing to sue to enforce the Oklahoma Open Meeting Act? Apparently I do:

Oklahomans can sue to enforce the state Open Meeting Act without having to prove they were individually injured by the alleged violation, a three-judge panel of the state Court of Civil Appeals has ruled.

The Open Meeting Act “was specifically and especially enacted for the benefit of the public,” meaning the “general public,” said Judges Jerry L. Goodman, P. Thomas Thornbrugh and W. Keith Rapp.

Judge Goodman wrote for the Court:

[A] criminal action subject only to prosecutorial discretion of a district attorney is likely to result only in a fine, and does not “right the wrong” of an OOMA violation. Whereas, making public the minutes of an improperly-held executive session and invalidating action take at same does “right the wrong” of the violation.

If the wrong is keeping secret information that should be publicly known, then the logical remedy is to disclose the secret to the public. Such remedies are meaningful and vigorously uphold the purpose of the OOMA.

So there.

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They’re very hard to smoke

Screenshot from KCTV Kansas City: Finding The Right Kitten Barbecue Recipes

And you may need extra sauce.

(Found on Lisa Nicole’s Facebook page; thanks to Dan B.)

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