It’s always 306.7 somewhere

Gee, and I thought it was because she was, um, smart:

[T]he iconic librarian’s desexualizing dress and hairstyle was intended to allow her to move freely and invisibly through the male public sphere. Under the conquering gaze of the man-as-dominator, though, this desexualization only serves to highlight the sexuality thus contained. Just as the North African woman was assumed to know secrets of pleasure far beyond those of The West (secrets worthy of being hidden), the sexy librarian is seen as not just a woman underneath, but a super-sexual being, a “freak”, a “wild one”. She is a prize to be taken, a treasure to be captured, an exotic animal barely tamed beneath her bun and shapeless cardigan.

If I’ve learned anything in a lifetime — and I’m prepared to argue that I haven’t — it’s that looking at the cover is at best a half-assed way to judge a book.

(We will not discuss the highly fictional dalliance with a librarian that I wrote about a couple of years ago.)

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Four lanes to nowhere

Steve Lackmeyer of The Oklahoman, drawing conclusions from the successful Open Streets gathering last weekend:

Baby Boomers, it’s time to give up your now obsolete model of city planning.

My generation, Gen X, has stood by and quietly waited for you to relinquish control.

But the Millennial generation isn’t wired like that. They’re not waiting. They’re taking over, and they’re not going to be told no.

They don’t like cars. Cars don’t define them. They are defined by access to cool urban gathering spots and public transit.

Um, it’s not my “model of city planning.”

Nor is it this guy’s:

This weekend I had to go pick up a script from Walgreens, but not the one I usually go to on 10th. No I had to go clear over to the one that is over by Kohl’s on Cornelius Pass. Okay, it’s not really a big deal, it’s only a couple of miles over there, and there are some other stores over there as well, so we can kill a couple of birds with this one stone. But I still didn’t like it because that area, newly built up, epitomizes everything I hate about suburbia: landscape trimmed to within an inch of its life, wide sidewalks that no one walks on, gently winding streets full of people who couldn’t get out of the way if their life depended on it (all charter members of the anti-destination league I’m sure), wide expanses of new asphalt paved parking lots with lots of free parking for places I have no desire to go, and lots of stores full of useless stuff that I neither want nor need. Tell me again why we are over here? The place is like the ultimate product of soulless corporate hucksters and government officials protecting you from yourself. I hate it.

Except for the sidewalks — ours are conspicuous by their absence — this could be almost any recently-developed square mile of Oklahoma City.

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Lies per hour

I am becoming persuaded that Barack Obama, once he leaves office in 2017, should head up a car company, just so he can get a good look at the godawful malfeasance of his erstwhile acolytes:

The battery-powered Tesla Model S is one of the world’s fastest and quietest luxury cars, but you might not know the latter if you watched the 60 Minutes interview with Tesla founder Elon Musk that first aired on Sunday.

Now CBS says it regrets the “error” that led to that impression.

Error, schmerror. This was either a deliberate hit or the most blatant act of stupidity in auto coverage since — well, since 60 Minutes decided to take out Audi. Get a whiff of this:

Following an introductory segment by Scott Pelley, whose wife owns a Model S, there is a series of shots provided by Tesla of a Model S driving down a road accompanied by the out-of-sync sounds of an internal combustion engine and the shifting of a transmission.

The Model S has neither of these things.

Nice fakery, CBS. Not quite up to the level of what you did to Audi, though:

Ed Bradley’s 17 minute “investigative report” aired on November 23, 1986. Between interviews of the teary-eyed “victims” (drivers) of unintended acceleration swearing their feet were on the brake pedal, CBS showed a clip of a driverless Audi lurching forward on its own.

Viewers didn’t get to see the canister of compressed air on the passenger-side floor with a hose running to a hole drilled in the transmission. An “expert” had rigged the Rube Goldberg device to shift the big Audi into drive and, like any automatic-equipped car, move forward (unless the brakes are depressed).

Edward R. Murrow is doing about 1800 rpm, even as we speak.

(Via Bayou Renaissance Man.)

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Varying degrees of niceness

I suppose I should have expected to see this banner ad this spring, though I have to admit I didn’t expect to see it at Equestria Daily:

Stuart Weitzman banner ad

Then again, some of those mares have, um, really nice legs. Four at a time, even.

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Ark of the Clumsiest

After sampling several reviews, Chris Johnson concludes:

So why make Noah in the first place? I can think of only two possible explanations. The first is to sabotage the idea that Biblical movies can make money. “See?! We made Noah and nobody cared! So stop bugging us to film more of this fundie crap!”

Although he prefers his second explanation, and so do I.

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Six times around the world

Gwendolyn, my (mostly) trusty Japanese traveling companion, rolled over the 150,000-mile mark yesterday in the 1500 block of the Northwest Distressway (this would be approximately in front of the Courtyard by Marriott). And she’s in pretty good shape, though there’s a gasoline-vapor issue that needs attention — changing out the gas cap was insufficient remedy — and the tinworm is overly attracted to her flanks.

Of course, this car was already six years old when I bought it, so not all those miles are attributable to me. Still, 150k is more than I’ve ever seen on an odometer. (I’ve had three other cars go past 100k, and one of them almost made it to 200k, but there were only five digits in those days.)

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Connect for?

Yesterday, the surfer dudes who host this site sent word that they’d pulled down all of my stuff on Server A and moved it to some Server B, which they assure me is a Good Thing:

Our new server clusters are running a more recent version of both Debian and Apache. It is also being transitioned from a 32bit server to a 64bit one. If you don’t know what this means, it probably won’t cause any issues with your services. If you’re doing anything fancy that relies on software that’s changed (such as custom PHP), you may need to get with the times and upgrade your site software.

Actually, I was on an older 64-bit server, running vanilla PHP 5.4.20, but hey, I’ll take it.

This move landed me on a whole new IP address, which shouldn’t matter to anyone once DNS is finished propagating. It did, however, upset my security team, which duly sent me out a note to let me know that they’d seen it, and please respond with instructions if any. Nice to know they’re on the ball.

Today I got home and had zero connectivity, to that IP or anywhere else. Usually I figure it’s a local outage, wait an hour, and try again. Didn’t work this time, so I called Cox, which decided to subject me to their Automated System. I had a bit of trouble understanding the canned voice — perhaps they ought to give it something of an accent instead of a stock AnchorBot™ timbre — and that undoubtedly prolonged the experience, but she did ask the right questions and provide the correct answers, so there’s that. (And no, it wasn’t a neighborhood outage, at least by then.)

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Future Medicine, such as it is

This is happening in the Southern hemisphere, but there’s no reason to think it can’t happen here:

Despite not fulfilling all the Ministry of Health’s requirements, 41 Brazilian community doctors recently trained in Venezuela were chosen to work for the government’s More Doctors (Mais Médicos) program.

They graduated in November from the Dr. Salvador Allende Latin American School of Medicine (ELAM) founded in 2007 by former president Hugo Chávez. Most are linked to left leaning organizations such as the PT or Landless Workers’ Movement. The group has returned to Brazil without fulfilling all the requirements stipulated in article 8 of the Venezuelan Law for the Practice of Medicine.

Apart from pretending to stick it to El Hombre The Man, there’s nothing a socialist ruler loves more than naming things after other socialist rulers. Good work, Hugo.

And there’s this:

This week, the group started their 25 day training, which includes a primary healthcare assessment. But they all already have cities assigned to them in 14 states in the São Paulo region. In Venezuela the program for community doctors has been criticized for disrespecting norms, ad hoc improvisations and lack of qualified teachers.

Who knew? Maybe Salvador Allende, who made darn sure he wasn’t going to worry about his health by shoving an AK-47 into his chin.

(Via Fausta’s blog.)

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She didn’t say “Look at me”

From the article just before this one:

It’s 1967. Sandra Dee has just seated herself in the chair beside your desk. Being the douchecanoe you are, you adjust the angle of the mirror just a bit, and the reflection gives you what you wanted: an unobstructed view of Miss Dee’s grade-A legs.

Late last night I stumbled upon a studio still of something resembling this scene. Behold:

Sandra Dee with George Hamilton

The prematurely orange fellow with the subtlety of a flying mallet is George Hamilton.

If you’d rather see her not harassed in person, there’s this:

Sandra Dee at the airport

Who’s that woman behind the curtain? I have no idea.

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Super iPerv 9000

It’s 1967. Sandra Dee has just seated herself in the chair beside your desk. Being the douchecanoe you are, you adjust the angle of the mirror just a bit, and the reflection gives you what you wanted: an unobstructed view of Miss Dee’s grade-A legs.

This scene actually appears in the otherwise uneventful grade-B flick Doctor, You’ve Got to Be Kidding! And it had exactly the effect on this impressionable youth — I was 14 in 1967 — that you think it did.

But older and marginally wiser, I now feel compelled to warn you that This Could Happen To You:

Possible usage of Spy Cam Peek-I

There exists a crowdfunding effort to develop exactly this technology as an iPhone app, which as of the last time I looked had raised about eight times the original goal. The demand for this sort of thing by 14-year-olds of all ages is evidently substantial.

(Via this Avenging Uterus tweet, bounced into my timeline by Andrea Harris.)

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The taxman stayeth

There’s something fundamentally wrong with a tax code that routinely costs ordinary people many hours and dollars every single year, and not just for taxes either.

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Zillaficationary

Something identifying itself as “MatchZilla” wandered into my email box yesterday to advise me of the favorable attention to be given me by one “DaisyChixha3.” This struck me as rather unlikely, since they said “Daisy” was twenty-six years old, and you may be certain that I have no business messing with twentysomethings. (I wasn’t particularly adept at it during the period when I was most likely actually to have business messing with twentysomethings, but that’s another story.) This was followed shortly by a pitch for “PixiePie0t,” twenty-three.

There is, or was, a MatchZilla out there, but it has nothing to do with dating:

MedZilla.com, a leading Internet recruitment and professional community that targets jobseekers and HR professionals in biotechnology, pharmaceuticals, healthcare and science, just launched a user-friendly program that eliminates the task of having to enter keywords to search for matching resumes or jobs. “MatchZilla” does the searching with pinpoint accuracy directly from a posted ad or resume, according [to] Frank Heasley, PhD, MedZilla.com President and CEO.

Such an operation would have no reason to want to find me a date.

Curiously, there is a blog using this name which is, if not exactly replete with babes, certainly not keyword-oriented either. A click of the About page brought me to someone labeled as “Alexa Prince,” “passive investor in several private corporations and LLC’s located in New York City, Long Island, N.Y. and also in Washington, D.C.,” definitely older than 26 and better than decently pretty, but still not within my grasp.

And also curiously, the real MatchZilla trademark was evidently abandoned after a couple of years, so it’s not like Ms Prince is just asking for a Cease and Desist order.

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Don’t be afraid of the diarchs

In Oklahoma City, Mick Cornett is the Mayor and gives all the speeches; Jim Couch is the City Manager and does all the scutwork. (Couch is paid about eight times as much, too, which seems only fair.)

Constitutional considerations aside — and hey, isn’t that always the case today? — maybe this would work on the national scale:

Personally, I think a giant empire like modern America would be better off splitting the roles of ceremonial Head of State and utilitarian Head of Government, rather than in getting them all entwined. The Premier or whatever we’d call him would, in today’s culture, typically be some senior black entertainment or athletic figure: James Earl Jones in the past, Morgan Freeman today, Oprah tomorrow, maybe David Robinson after her.

Instead, out of that urge, we elected a part time college lecturer to fill both jobs in a mediocre fashion.

I’d say “We could do worse,” but I fear I might be correct.

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An aphorism for our times

You could wait for it to show up on the “It is written” widget in the sidebar, which eventually it will if the randomizer doesn’t go totally troppo, but you might just as well appreciate it right now. Says Roberta X, with the ring of truth resounding behind her:

[W]hatever a politician takes the loudest stand against, he or she is probably doing in private.

In an era where hypocrisy is deemed a Mortal Sin — well, when in history have we ever run short of sinners?

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Conclusion being jumped to

This perhaps may be unnecessarily alarmist:

CNN screenshot: Boeing 777 will struggle to maintain altitude once the fuel tanks are empty

After all, the plane will still have sufficient momentum to carry it all the way to the eventual crash site.

(Via American Digest.)

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Strange search-engine queries (426)

Monday morning brings a fresh(ish) set of search strings from our very own visitors, lightly mocked, and lovingly frosted with glucose.

Interstate 235 36th street interchange prior to reconstruction OKC flickr:  Not even Flickr remembers back that far.

futility is resistable:  Are you kidding me? Entire nations embrace it as a cause.

2001 mazda 626 transmission problem only with 4 cylinder:  Yeah, just keep telling yourself that, Mister Gottahava VeeSix.

what will make transmission slip on 2002 mazda 626:  Most commonly, it’s due to inadequate maintenance.

loratabs gone:  This surely must be a country song, possibly by George Jones.

shania yummy:  I suppose so. No point in telling George Jones, though.

Are exact coins required to travel the Kilpatrick turnpike in oklahoma?  Inexact coins won’t make it through the collecting machine.

running tolls on creek turnpike:  The least you could do was try some inexact coins.

mention about padama lakshmis stepfather:  What about him? You just can’t go around mentioning people.

parent directory ” /bizarre/ -xxx -html -htm -php -shtml -opendivx -md5 -md5sums”:  And guess what, ladies? He’s single!

“deed for speed”:  Hey, where can I get one of those?

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