Don’t even think about downloading this

And if you manage to pull it off, let me know how you did it:

Trevor Jackson hasn’t released an album in 14 years, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t been busy. On February 25, the creative director, artist, and sonic pioneer behind Playgroup is set to debut a 12-track full-length [album] in 12 separate physical file formats. Aptly entitled F O R M A T, the album is spread out, one song per 12″, 10″ and 7″ vinyl, CD, mini CD, cassette tape, USB stick, VHS tape, MiniDisc, Digital Audio Tape (DAT), 8-track tape, and reel-to-reel tape, respectively, each designed by Jackson and released by The Vinyl Factory. According to the press release, the album pays homage to music formats of the past, in celebration of “the artistry, design and individual experience of playing music via traditional methods.”

If Jackson really wants to stir the pot, he should offer a bonus track on a 78 — or on Betamax.

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Definitely not cabbages

Hard to get a handle on this Kings game before tipoff. We knew that Sacramento had just sacked Mike Malone, and Tyrone Corbin was anxious to prove himself as the coach. We knew that there was bad blood, or at least trash talk, between Rudy Gay and Kendrick Perkins. And we knew that DeMarcus Cousins was still out. Based on this, I assumed it was going to be a long haul, and so it was: the Thunder led by seven at halftime, by ten at the end of the third, but the Kings bench rose up and inflicted a 15-4 run on the Thunder to take a one-point lead. The OKC starters returned, a bit earlier than expected, but finished the job with 73 seconds left. Oklahoma City 104, Sacramento 92, a nice preparation for the Warriors, next on the schedule. (It didn’t hurt that the Warriors actually lost tonight, against the one team I thought could beat them: the Grizzlies.)

Despite DeAbsence of DeMarcus, the Kings were plenty tough. Reggie Evans started in the middle, spelled by Ryan Hollins. Gay had a good night, coming up with 22 points and six rebounds; Hollins and Jason Thompson contributed nine rebounds each; Carl Landry and Ramon Sessions hit double figures for the Sacramento bench, which outscored the OKC reserves 44-28. The Kings also ruled the backboards, with a 48-41 edge in rebounding, and performed well at the stripe, going 15-17.

Of late, the big story for OKC has been Russell Westbrook, and tonight was no exception: 32 points, six rebounds, seven assists, four steals, and a single turnover. (The Thunder gave it up only 12 times, the Kings 19.) Kevin Durant, in 35 minutes, popped up 26 points. Serge Ibaka didn’t shoot well — 3-10 for nine points — but he blocked seven shots. Steven Adams, once again, had double-digit rebounding (10); Anthony Morrow scored 10 to lead the bench. Kendrick Perkins did not outscore Rudy Gay, but by all accounts he outscowled him.

Next: Thursday night in Oakland, where the Warriors have lost only once all year. Where it gets interesting: Golden State, 21-3, is 9-1 over the last ten. Oklahoma City, 12-13, is — 9-1 over the last ten. Still, the Warriors remain the team to beat in the West, so if the Thunder can pull this off … well, we’ll know Friday morning.

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On the High Street to Hell

Nancy Friedman, whose business it is to find the Right Name, occasionally happens upon someone who has found the Wrongest Name Possible, and you can’t get much wronger than this:

IncubusLondon is a newish venture whose name is intended to be a portmanteau of [startup] incubator plus bus: it’s a co-working space in a London double-decker bus. Unfortunately, incubus has a separate and sinister meaning: “a male demon who comes upon women in their sleep and rapes them.”

Incredibly, this is not the first time someone has tried to make commercial hay out of “incubus”:

You’d think the London gang would have learned from Reebok’s costly misstep, back in 1996, when it named a women’s running shoe the Incubus. According [to] the Snopes entry, “Reebok Incubus” had been developed in-house and selected from a master list of about 1,500 names.

I’ve owned some Reeboks, the wearing of which was akin to torture — but not this kind of torture.

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Beyond the Dutch treat

Today is the 52nd birthday of Dutch actress Maruschka Detmers, who moved to France as a teenager and promptly drew the attention of director Jean-Luc Godard, who cast her in his 1983 film Prénom Carmen:

Maruschka Detmers in Prenom Carmen

She continued to work for many years. In 1995, she starred opposite Dolph Lundgren in The Shooter:

Maruschka Detmers in The Shooter

Most recently, in 2010, she appeared in a television remake of that first Godard film, titled First Name: Carmen.

She is arguably best known, however, for her role in Marco Bellocchio’s 1986 film Il diavolo in corpoDevil in the Flesh — as a disaffected twentysomething woman, bored with her terrorist fiancé, who takes up with a high-school student who spotted her outside his window. In the film’s most infamous scene, the kid is discoursing about Lenin’s return to St. Petersburg or some such nonsense; she is unable to respond verbally, as she is, um, otherwise occupied.

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Struggling with style

I’ve mentioned before that occasionally I page through the archives, and sometimes, I have to admit, I like what I see.

And then there are the times when I don’t.

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Seeming incompatibility

Subject line on a spam received last night: iPad Owners Overjoyed by Revolutionary Keyboard. Second One 1/2 Off.

Actual text of the spam:

Just Fresh Direct Unfiltered Olio Novello. Imported straight from Italy within one week of pressing, this oil is delicious enough to drizzle on bruschetta but affordable enough to use in cooking, too. (Note: Only available in select markets).

I, for one, do not look forward to keyboards that can be drizzled.

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Sometimes it even works

We are heavily reliant on systems that work not quite 100 percent of the time:

Our modern world runs on giant, soulless corporations that mostly work very well. They keep us supplied with food, water, power, transportation, entertainment and an endless variety of gadgets. A great many people have worked very hard to make these organizations productive and efficient. Problem is that in streamlining these operations they become more susceptible to grit in the gears. Their normal reaction is to just kick it out. That’s when your high-tech new ride breaks down, you find yourself stranded by the side of the road with a dead cell phone that wouldn’t work anyway because your account has been terminated for non-payment, because your credit card has been canceled because your number and 27 million others got stolen by the Romanian mafia who sold it to some grifters in Kansas City who tried to buy a boatload of Christmas presents over the internet.

And we will never, ever run short of grifters.

One corollary: inevitably, this sort of system-building leads to atrocities like the construction of voice-mail systems that can handle any conceivable inquiry except the one you’re trying to put in. Technology has only so much imagination.

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Oh, what a night

Late December, back in ’53,
What a very special time for me,
As I remember — what the hell?

Hoover vacuum ad from 1953

Sixty-odd years later, Susan and Tom are still not speaking to one another. The Hoover, meantime, sucks as much as it always did. (I have one such machine, admittedly not that old; it’s still functional as its 40th birthday approaches.) Not that anyone born in the last 25 years is going to believe that humble household appliances were once considered dynamite Christmas fare.

(From Pop Sugar via Miss Cellania.)

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Nobody likes price hikes

Especially if there’s a good reason for one, and in this case there was:

Uber is reportedly charging its users in downtown Sydney a minimum $100, a result of surge pricing introduced in the midst of an armed hostage crisis, Mashable has learned.

An executive in the city’s Central Business District (CBD) sent Mashable screenshots of the Uber app that show the company is charging up to four-times the normal rate because “demand is off the charts.”

A hundred Australian dollars is about $82 USD.

“I have never, ever seen it at four-times [the normal rate] and I’m a 1% top Uber user,” said Matthew Leung, the user in contact with Mashable. “I understand the way the business works — higher the demand, higher the charge — but four-times at $100 minimum is ridiculous. Almost price gouging at its worst.”

Rather a lot of Twitter users chose to ignore that word “almost”; reaction was swift and almost entirely negative. Uber’s Sydney office issued a statement:

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m not driving my way into that sort of catastrophe for a lousy 82 bucks.

Later, in an effort at damage control, Uber began waiving fees for riders leaving the CBD, and offered refunds to the truly distraught.

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Blasts from the past

The very last time I can remember calling up a radio station and asking “What the hell is that?” was for this very track, some time in 1990.

I’m not sure that stills of Mount Etna in mid-eruption are the ideal visual complement to Paul Speer’s guitar and Leroy Quintana’s keyboards, but it’s what we’ve got. (And the tune runs only to 5:10, so there’s two minutes more volcano without accompaniment.)

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No place left to hide

The quality of exhibitionists has declined markedly of late:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: Will the host see me on nude adult cams?

Here’s where it gets pitiful:

I don’t want the hosts on nude adult cams to see me during the private shows because I really can’t risk being recognized. Is there a way for me to remain hidden?

So: (a) gutless; (b) underage; (c) gutless and underage?

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Strange search-engine queries (463)

Taylor Swift once wrote a song called “Back to December.” It had nothing whatever to do with this stuff, which is scraped out of the logs in a desperate attempt to find something amusing on a Monday morning.

don alverzo wiki:  You’d think people would check Wikipedia for wiki entries, but maybe not.

2001 mazda 626 and transmission problems:  Go together like a horse and carriage.

dolichocephaly cleese:  Not the lost nephew of John Cleese. I think.

on MTV who got Punk’d when they were told there’d $250,000 Porsche was stolen:  Not the lost nephew of John Cleese. I think.

jordache lard ass jeans:  Not actually made by Jordache.

pole vault plant box padding:  You might try cutting up some old worn-out jeans.

spearsling:  Britney’s daughter — some day.

rebecca romijn body paint see:  This is why Sports Illustrated has a swimsuit issue.

calf falsies:  Raw material for Mystery Veal.

nice japanese daddy:  He’ll wear the Hello Kitty sweater you bought him, and smile the whole time.

SupraModem 2400:  But was it Hayes-compatible?

well turned ankle:  Good at a fashion show; not so good at an NBA game.

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A little dark spot

The Suns have been slumping of late, and the loss of Goran Dragić to back spasms wasn’t going to help matters. An ideal time, perhaps, for the Thunder to run off another 70-point first half. Both sides, however, looked tired in the third quarter, though OKC extended the lead to 25. There wasn’t any particular reason for the starters for either side to play the fourth quarter, and they didn’t; in fact, things got to the point where Mitch McGary actually got to play. (Jeremy Lamb drew a DNP-CD, though apparently he was not feeling well, in case anyone thought Lamb was residing in Scott Brooks’ doghouse.) And as it turned out, the fourth quarter, despite meeting the definition of garbage time, was actually a bit more entertaining than the third. Final: Oklahoma City 112, Phoenix 88, climbing to 11-13 and dropping the Suns to 12-13. Half a game out of eighth place, guys.

Gerald Green, subbing for Dragić, was the Suns’ high scorer with 15; fellow wingman Eric Bledsoe added 12. Rookie Tyler Ennis led the reserves with 11. The Suns put up lots of shots, didn’t make many: 34 of 99 for 35 percent. (OKC was 39-80 for 49 percent.) Thunder dominance on the boards was prodigious: 63-40.

In their brief appearances, Russell Westbrook (27 minutes) picked up 28 points and eight boards, and delivered eight assists; Kevin Durant (24 minutes, though Brooks would have let him go 35 if needed) picked up 23 points and eight boards, and delivered two assists. Top rebounder turned out to be Kendrick Perkins, with ten; Steven Adams had eight. The Thunder did not shoot the long ball well (4-18), though the Suns weren’t any better (7-31). Oh, and McGary? Three points and four boards in seven minutes.

That long West Coast haul is coming up. The Kings are struggling a bit, with DeMarcus Cousins unwell; the Warriors are not struggling in the least, and hey, Kobe Bryant moved into third place on the all-time scorers list, which has to make the Lakers happy.

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Meanwhile, up in the sky

The spring storm season in this place lasts 14, maybe 15 months. On the upside, when the sirens pipe down we get a glimpse of something like this:

There was a tornado warning at the time, at a far corner of the county.

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Non-smuggler’s blues

There’s a little listserv on an arcane topic that I’ve been part of for at least fifteen years; the founder/leader died back in 2005, but it continues, and occasionally someone new shows up.

A Canadian chap had tossed out a story idea consistent with the group topic, and over the next couple of years turned out a pretty decent story, vaguely erotic but not enough to upset anyone’s applecart, and after he finished it, he vowed to make a book out of it. Which he did: he hired an editor to go through it — a wise choice, we all thought — then went the self-published route.

Response was good enough for him to start thinking in terms of “sequel,” and while I’d read the serialized version, I figured the least I could do is buy one in hardcopy. I contacted him offlist; he said he had a few copies on hand, and quoted a price. Fine, said I, what are my payment options? Apparently what gets to him fastest is MoneyGram, the successor to the old Travelers Express Company.

This next bit of history matters more than I thought it would:

In November 2012, MoneyGram International admitted to money laundering and wire fraud violations. MoneyGram services were used by unrelated parties involved in mass marketing and consumer phishing scams that defrauded thousands of victims in the United States. As a part of the settlement, MoneyGram created a $100 million victim compensation fund. MoneyGram also retained a corporate monitor who will report regularly to the United States Department of Justice for a five-year trial period. If MoneyGram fulfills its obligations under the settlement, prosecutors will seek dismissal of the charges of aiding and abetting wire fraud. MoneyGram also terminated any agents complicit in the 2009 scams and invested more than $84 million in improvements to the company’s consumer anti-fraud systems and consumer awareness education.

And apparently they’re taking no chances in 2014, because it took me half an hour on their Web site and another ten minutes talking to an actual rep for me to fail to persuade them to accept my payment to this Canadian guy, inasmuch as well, no, we’ve never actually met, and national borders are involved.

I said screw it, went to his publisher, and ordered a copy from them.

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Thieves vying for honor points

Received in the spam trap yesterday afternoon:

Hi there! Do you know if they make any plugins to protect against hackers? I’m kinda paranoid about losing everything I’ve worked hard on. Any suggestions?

This might have carried more weight had the “author” been identified as something other than “buy litecoin With credit card no verification.”

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