Strange search-engine queries (425)

What’s that, friend? You say your bracket is busted and there’s no reason to go on? Allow me to show you this week’s wacky search strings. They won’t make you a million dollars or anything, but hey, it’s Monday; if they get even the most feeble grin out of you, they’ve done their job, and mine.

aux transmission cooler on ford escape 6 speed automatic:  Usually the time to shop for those is before you have an overheating problem.

what in a cd4e will cause it not to come out of first gear:  Any number of things. Has it been overheating?

passeys bronze horse statue stolen in benson:  What, did Iron Man ride it away or something?

how hard is it to rebuild gf4a-el:  You know, there’s a reason they charge you $2000 for that sort of thing.

maggie mayhem data base:  With a name like Maggie Mayhem, I suggest that not a whole lot of data is necessary.

pet sounds album which two songs are instrumental without vocals?  Actually, all the songs without vocals are instrumental. (But just for the record, “Pet Sounds” and “Let’s Go Away For Awhile.”)

which is the number one cylinder on a 1992 Mazda 626 with a 2.2:  Perhaps surprisingly, the first one.

in colorado does the property ownier have a right to have the interior easement surveyed if neighbor wants to use it:  I’m trying to imagine a situation in which a property owner would not have a right to have an easement surveyed.

sluts email:  Sluts don’t have time for email. They’re busy being slutty.

fuse for overdrive 1996 mercury mystique:  “Please, Lord, please, please, let it be a two-dollar fuse and not a thousand-dollar solenoid block!” And the Lord looked down, and saith: “Hey, I didn’t build this thing. Call Ford.”

what is opposite of nondescript?  Kerry Washington.

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This thing blows

A trial attorney in Texas gets an ignition interlock installed in her car as a test, and guess what? It works pretty much as advertised. I can’t persuade the video to embed here, so you get to watch it there.

Disclosures: Jamie Balagia, whose law offices produced this experiment, is a first cousin to me; he is a candidate for Attorney General of Texas, running as a Libertarian. (LP Texas convention is in April; Mr Balagia has one opponent.) The incumbent AG, Greg Abbott, a Republican, is vacating the position to run for Governor.

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Somewhere unintended

I had no idea I was even heading in this direction; I’m as surprised as you are. Maybe more so.

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Fark blurb of the week

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Meters unread

I’m going with the notion that no other explanation is needed:

Everywhere I’ve lived, paying the power bill was a relatively simple affair. You get a bill that included the amount of power you used in the previous month with a per-kilowatt charge and some basic flat monthly fee.

Here, however, they do not read the power meter every month. Instead, it’s every other month with some sort of estimate. These estimates tend to be wildly, wildly off. The end result of which is that our power bill ranges from one month to the next wildly. By a factor of two, in the most recent case. From $169 to $345. In this case, the estimate for February was low but in fact, the usage was abnormally high due to the weather. The end result was a low bill followed by a large bill.

Hmmm. Is this a private utility company, or a municipal power plant?

If they can’t actually send somebody to read the meter every month, they could do a lot worse than just saying $210 every month. Theoretically, they should have access to data that can more accurately guess how much we’re actually using. I assume that every month they’re reading houses, it’s just that they can only read half of them in any given month.

This is one of the better arguments for the so-called smart meter, which presumably can report in with its own reading when called upon. Both the electric and gas companies have installed them on my connections; I don’t think the city has, but then I haven’t opened up the meter, buried in the front yard, since about three plumbing repairs ago.

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Now I’ve heard everything

After yesterday’s errands, I retrieved the little Rockbox-equipped Sansa music player from the car, and noticed across the display screen: “4964 of 4979.” Evidently over the preceding weeks I’d gone through the entire playlist, except for 15 songs.

Which, of course, raised a question: “What happens after the playlist runs out?” I strapped on a headset and let the machine run for the next hour. The last five:

  • 4975: The Sound-Offs, “The Angry Desert”
  • 4976: Johnnie Taylor, “Who’s Making Love”
  • 4977: Jon and Robin and the In-Crowd, “Do It Again (A Little Bit Slower)”
  • 4978: Dion, “Abraham, Martin and John”
  • 4979: Smash Mouth, “Walkin’ on the Sun”

As that last song started, the “Next:” callout was ominously blank.

And then it reset to the top of the Main Menu, awaiting further instructions. (Pressing “Resume Playback” was met with “Nothing to resume”.) This was, I decided, the ideal time to rework the playlist. (Basically, I replaced a couple of tracks with better-quality versions.)

To restart was a simple (eventually) matter of going to Files/Playlists and clicking on whatever playlist was named. First song out of the box was “We Belong Together” by Robert and Johnny; I ordered a reshuffle starting at #2, just because.

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Wire is hell

Everything you always wanted to know about cable companies (and perhaps already suspected), by Roberta X:

Cable companies around here are egregious clods, who I would not let run a wire into my house if money came out it and won’t sell you the ‘net unless you sign up for cabledammiteevee, too, and on that there are really only three things: the local stations you can get over the air for free, on-demand stuff my Roku/Amazon combo delivers at least as well, and crap Hitler/Alien/Mermaids/Seance channels that used to run science and history programs but gave up after realizing rehashed tripe, cold readings and program-length commercials for claptrap and quackery made at least as much money if not more and cost less to produce. (The kicker for me was the leaked memo from one of the historical channels, exhorting producers for “less gray hair” in their choice of experts. Yeah, done.)

I’m down to two things myself — Thunder basketball and My Little Pony — but I know the feeling.

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Though Minitel is not coming back

Fleur Pellerin has the clunky title “Minister Delegate with responsibility for Small and Medium-sized Enterprises, Innovation and the Digital Economy” in the François Hollande cabinet. In that capacity:

“I would like to make France one of the top nations in terms of digital innovation,” Ms. Pellerin said during a recent interview in her office at the Finance Ministry, which juts out over the Seine in eastern Paris like a giant, modern version of a medieval river toll barrier. “If we don’t act in the next few years it will be too late.”

Pellerin, born and abandoned on the streets of Seoul in 1973, then adopted by a French family, is completing her second year in office.

Fleur Pellerin going to work

Minitel, which began operations in 1978, was a French videotex service that did a lot of things we think of as purely Web-based; it finally expired in 2012.

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Just below bronze

Insurance Commissioner John Doak’s Friday announcement, complete with vaguely petulant grumble:

Oklahoma Insurance Commissioner John D. Doak announced Friday that health insurers may continue to renew policies not meeting Affordable Care Act (ACA) requirements through 2016.

“The continued twists and turns related to Obamacare confuses consumers and frustrates businesses,” said Doak. “The extension is not a universal remedy for concerns about access and affordability. This change won’t prevent price increases, nor will it ensure that provider networks will stay the same for the next two years. We have decided to leave the renewal decision up to the insurers because of the difficulty they face in trying to adapt to these constantly changing market rules, which I’m sure we haven’t seen the end of.”

Not before January 2017, anyway.

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We need not take Kathleen home

She’s apparently busy at the moment:

I’m assuming this is some sort of smartphone.

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Quote of the week

Tony Woodlief, on the recent departure of Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps:

In truth, people like me need someone like Fred Phelps. He made me feel better about myself. I am as the Pharisee who gave thanks he was not the tax collector — a comparison to which some might object, on the grounds that in that story, the tax collector was a humbled man, aware of his sins and begging mercy.

But none of us knows what transpires in the heart’s final beating. We can never know until it is we who lay waiting for judgment, our hearts softened or hardened or indifferent. Perhaps Fred Phelps saw, in his final seconds, the cost of his life, the dreadful bloody stink of it, rising up to heaven. Perhaps he saw and he begged forgiveness. And perhaps — how scandalous to think it — he was forgiven.

And while the state of his heart is now a settled and secreted thing, perhaps mine turns, as well as yours, on whether we are willing to pray that it was so, that the likes of Fred Phelps could be saved from the sickness that consumed him. Perhaps such a merciful heart is, in the end, all that saves any of us from his sickness.

Which reminds us that justice, the legal concept, and Justice, the operation of the cosmos under divine guidance, share little more than a word.

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Meanwhile in Florida again

Rebecca Black is once again at Playlist Live Orlando — there’s also a Playlist Live in the fall in the similarly exotic Secaucus, New Jersey — and in case you’re not up on this series, it consists of “three-day gatherings for fans, creators and supporters of online video.” RB qualifies as all three of those.

Oh, it’s sold out, so you may not get to see this:

Those panels look like they might have some entertainment value.

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Rapt up

Weird things sometimes happen in Toronto. Serge Ibaka got no blocks and only five rebounds; Andre Roberson got six fouls in 14 minutes; Grevis Vasquez got six fouls in 31 minutes; Caron Butler got six fouls in 36 minutes; Kevin Durant took several minutes to warm up (13 points at the half); Kyle Lowry banged into Russell Westbrook’s knee in the third quarter, forcing Westbrook to the locker room with a sprain; and nobody built a lead more than eight points. With 17.4 left, it was tied at 96; the Thunder burned up all the clock and never got off anything resembling a shot, forcing overtime. Not a lot happened until 1:34, when KD tossed it in from 27 feet over Amir Johnson, and then got the next two stops against the Raptors. After that, things went to Grind City; the Thunder were up three with 11.4 left, and Lowry poured in a trey to tie it at 107. The Raptors saw their chance, and with 49 seconds left in the second overtime, held an eight-point lead. Then, well, things happened: KD hit a trey, Derek Fisher hit a trey, and to the absolute horror of the crowd, Durant, with 1.7 seconds left, executed a perfect pull-up from 31 feet to put the Thunder up 119-118, sweeping the road trip, earning a season split with the Raptors, and did I mention that the Raptors haven’t won an overtime game at home in five years? Weird things sometimes happen in Toronto.

Of course, some things you can expect. DeMar DeRozan was typically DeStructive, leading the Raptors with 33 points, including 15 of 16 from the charity stripe. The man simply knows how to draw fouls. Vasquez (21 before fouling out), Johnson (25) and Lowry (25) all scored big time; Johnson had 12 rebounds and five blocks to go with his 25 points (in 50 minutes!), and Jonas Valanciunas had eight points and 13 boards. Toronto, in fact, owned the boards, to the tune of 57-47, including a big 14 off the offensive glass; they shot a couple of percentage points better than the Thunder (40-38) and were about three percent better from the foul line.

None of this, however, matters in the face of Kid Delicious, who stretched it out for 52 minutes and scored 51 points, 15-32 from the line. Still, with Westbrook sidelined, Reggie Jackson needed to step up, and did he ever: 25 points (10/10 from the stripe) and a career-high 12 rebounds. Butler wasn’t a scoring factor, particularly, but he pulled off five of the Thunder’s eight steals. And of that 12/36 from beyond the arc — well, as radio guy Matt Pinto might say, it’s when you get them.

Coming up: yet another back-to-back, and it’s home-and-away, Monday against the Nuggets, and then to Dallas on Tuesday.

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Ay, there’s the nub

Tisha is twenty-six, lives in Missouri, and has no arms. (Also, one leg’s shorter than the other, but let’s not complicate matters.)

She also paints. (See below the jump.)

Read the rest of this entry »

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Checking in with the herd

The 2014 State of the Herd Report is out, and this year’s pony fans are marginally more female, a teensy bit more married (though 4.7 percent won’t overwhelm the Los Pegasus wedding chapels), and just about as likely to pester friends and neighbors to watch the darn show already.

A few not-entirely-random quotes from the report:

Utah has the most Bronies per 100,000 … followed closely by Alaska. Mississippi, once again, is dead last in per capita Bronyism.

Utah checks in with 9.03 per 100k; Mississippi, 1.87. (Oklahoma, should you be curious, is mid-pack at 4.47.)

There’s a very distinct gender break on the Pegasister question. While 60% of males basically “meh” at the question ["Women should be pegasisters," as distinguished from bronies], 47% of females either disagree or strongly disagree, with only 14% agreeing or strongly agreeing.

A desire not to be segregated? Fancy that.

On the question of Favorite Character, it takes seven slots to include the Mane Six, since Princess Luna has vaulted all the way to third. (Derpy is eighth.) And this is a trifle alarming:

As you look through the list, stop to consider that Tom, a piece of rock, drew more votes than Flim, Flam, and either Mr. or Mrs. Cake.

And the data-collection period ended long before we met Pinkie Pie’s sister Maud, so I see Tom, if only as a possible ship for Maud, gaining popularity in the near future. Also, Flam outdrew Flim, which makes me wonder if people can really tell them apart.

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Kenlessness

My laundry equipment is ancient (ten and a half years old) and operates in a suboptimal environment (out in the garage) that has become more so of late, what with the plumbing issues behind the scene. One of the two faucets, in fact, is now in Running Constantly mode, prompting me to shut off the spigots when not actually using the machines.

It was a matched pair, a step or two above the bottom of Sears’ Kenmore line back then, but nowhere near the top. And weirdly, they have the same issue, although in opposite orientation: the washer’s lid switch is stuck in the Off position, the dryer’s door switch in On.

Parts and service, fortunately, are no particular problem for this line, except for the minor detail of writing the check. The washer switch has been replaced once in a decade; this is the first attention that will be paid to the dryer.

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