The sort-of-infamous town of Valley Brook, which occupies a quarter of a square mile surrounded on all sides by southeast Oklahoma City, is known mostly for strip clubs and speed traps. The town budget, tucked into the Oklahoman’s Classified section Tuesday, would seem to bear that out:
Wonder what that $125,000 in “transfers out” bought them.
The population of Valley Brook is somewhere around 800.
You are curious whether your butt is big or small. Unfortunately, you lack the ability to accurately assess the size of butts. Fortunately, there are three rappers before you. You are of their preferred gender, so they are willing to collectively entertain exactly one yes-or-no question from you, to which they will each give an answer.
One rapper likes big butts and cannot lie. One rapper likes small butts and always lies. One rapper likes all butts but shares your inability to assess butt size, and will answer yes or no at random if asked whether a butt is big or small. You do not know which rapper is which. All the rappers know all other facts relevant to the situation, including everyone’s identity and butt preferences.
Before you are able to ask your question, one rapper receives a booty call (the size of the booty is unknown to you) and leaves the room. The other two rappers remain and are willing to pronounce on your question. You still do not know who any of the rappers are.
To determine the size of your butt, what question should you ask them? (You may assume that all butts can be classified as either big or small and ignore contextual factors, e.g. from the presence of Oakland booty.)
The Dodgers scored a half-dozen runs off Cardinals callup Mike Mayers before the Cardinals ever came to bat. The first four trotted home when Gonzalez tattooed a 2-2 fastball 427 feet over the center-field wall. Gonzalez finished the game with three hits, the second of which preceded Howie Kendrick’s home run with one out in the second.
That blast marked the end of the day for Mayers, who had been summoned for the spot start after the Cardinals’ rotation order was interrupted by a doubleheader earlier in the team’s homestand. Mayers, who had a 2.62 ERA in 18 Minor League starts this year, allowed nine runs before being pulled with one out in the second. It was the shortest start by a Cardinals pitcher making his MLB debut since Memo Luna in 1954.
Mayers is now back among the Memphis Redbirds, the Cards’ Triple-A affiliate.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever used the services of Payday Loan. No? That’s because you’re an upstanding, respectable citizen with a decent paycheck and a bank account. I, on the other hand, (ahem) haven’t been any of those things for going on 20 years. And since I fell on hard times in California, where the Franchise Tax Board can and absolutely will hoover up the contents of your bank account if you piss them off, even when I had a paycheck I found myself looking for ways to do without banks.
What I’m saying is, even though I never actually took out a loan with them I do know the inside of a Payday Loan. They also cash checks for a fee, and help you wire money to Guatemala or wherever. Personally I’ve always suspected that this is what [Sen. Elizabeth] Warren and her totalitarian pals really object to: Payday Loans (PL in future) makes money less transparent to the government and less susceptible to confiscation. For that reason alone I like it.
Besides, the government hates competition:
Now, they are pushing to include language in the Democratic Party platform to add banking to the line of services provided by the U.S. Postal Service.
Imagine it with me, Mr. and Mrs. America. The post office, which has practically driven itself out of its own centuries-old monopoly through incredible ineptitude, would now be granted…
“nothing fancy, just basic bill paying, check cashing and small dollar loans.”
What could possibly go wrong?
“But… but… non-profit!” I’d perhaps be more impressed with that, except that my stint last month in an ostensibly non-profit emergency room ran up a tab of twenty thousand dollars.
Neither side actually WANTS to win, because neither side wants to be in the White House during the next four years. They do not want to be the ones tasked with the Sisyphean and possibly impossible task of dealing with the fire breathing hydra with rabies that is the deteriorating world situation. Their best case scenario is to lose, and in the unlikely event there are any survivors, come out of their bunkers and pick up the pieces, while blaming the other party for the catastrophe that they fortuitously dodged having to deal with.
Given both parties’ long history of Blame Avoidance as a top priority, this would seem to explain the nomination of wholly unacceptable candidates perfectly well.
A liquidator has been appointed to the firm behind Irish Psychics Live, which was founded by former journalist Tom Higgins.
A document lodged with the Companies Office confirms that Eamon Leahy of Leahy & Company, Fairview, Dublin has been appointed as liquidator arising from a resolution of the members of Realm Communications Limited.
The liquidation of the firm follows eight months after the company, which was behind what was Ireland’s most high profile and controversial premium phone line service, ceased trading.
The appointment of Mr Leahy also follows a Revenue Commissioner’s notice in January confirming it had petitioned the High Court to wind up Realm Communications Ltd.
The premium phone line business was established in 1998 and built up a large cash pile over the years before Mr Higgins and his wife Theresa Dunne cashed out in 2009, sharing a dividend payout of €9 million.
EMSAcare provides you and permanent members of your household with emergency medical transport through EMSA, with no out of pocket expenses. Your membership covers expenses not paid for by your third party insurance. The program is just $3.65 per month and can be included on your utility bill. More than 180,000 Oklahoma City households participate in EMSA’s EMSAcare program.
With the charge for a single emergency ambulance ride now over $1,300, it is easy to see that EMSAcare is the smart choice for you and your family.
Third-party insurance covered none of my $1,324 ambulance bill; EMSAcare took care of the whole thing. Heck of a deal for $43.80 a year.
On my list of Best Band Names Ever is the Anderson Council, straight outta New Brunswick, New Jersey; like another, better-known band, they were named for Piedmont Blues singers Pink Anderson and Floyd Council.
Their new waxing, Assorted Colours, contains eight tracks from their back catalog plus four new songs, one of which, “Girl on the Northern Line,” I’d heard before; Michael Lynch, then proprietor of the much-missed Ready Steady A Go Go podcast, cut a version.
Lynch’s version owes a little, perhaps, to “The Little Black Egg.” He got the song from its composer: rock historian Dawn Eden, now better known as Catholic theologian Dawn Eden Goldstein, who’d always intended the song for the Anderson Council. (Lynch and Goldstein would later collaborate on the chewy, chewy “Dubblbubbldandylionluv,” issued under the name “Man Cherry and Candy Date”; Goldstein herself would contribute a cover of Kirsty MacColl’s “They Don’t Know About Us” to the compilation The Stiff Generation.)
What was once a perfectly ordinary 1984 Chevrolet (Fleetside, short-bed) with a scant 74,000 miles on its hidden-from-view odometer has been transformed by a cadre of our nation’s brightest materials science engineers to remain perfectly unseen by the ordinary eye. Every surface and part has been coated with some sort of invisibility-inducing substance: its 305ci V8, its 4WD drivetrain, its clean windows, its “like new” interior, its stack of Don Henley cassettes strewn across the bench seats.
Craigslist is pulling the listing for some inscrutable reason. Me, I want to see Wonder Woman driving this thing.
News Item: Kevin Durant’s Bricktown restaurant closed Sunday, but vows to open with a new theme after Labor Day, Hal Smith Restaurant Group said Monday. “The concept will offer an updated atmosphere with a similar menu to what has been available at that location in the past.”
Top Ten new proposals for the restaurant concept to replace Kd’s: