The Weather Patrol reports in

Record heat yesterday: seventy-eight degrees Fahrenheit, 2° warmer than the old record, set in 1999. (Then again, it’s February; only last Thursday it dropped into the teens and barely made it above 40 that afternoon.) I got outside and trimmed a holly. Meanwhile, Michael Eberharter went to Quail Springs Mall, specifically to Candyopolis:

Rainbow Dash for Candyopolis

Can’t argue with that, Dashie.


How are the aerodynamics?

Aaron Robinson, in the March Car and Driver, on the Chevrolet Trax, a “wee SUV”:

The optional four-wheel drive is an electronically controlled system that engages clutch plates to add torque to the rear. It is not driver-lockable, just an automatic all-weather axle, there to straighten your path when the barometer nose-dives.

Or, you know, not. The lowest barometer reading in this town since ever — meaning, most likely, “since 1890” — was 28.81 inches of mercury, on this very date in 1960. The high temperature that day was 75, which does not suggest a need for four-wheel drive. There were, however, F1-level tornadoes in the northeastern part of the state, and I don’t want to be driving in that kind of stuff no matter where the torque is allocated.

Maybe Robinson meant something other than “barometer.”

Comments (2)

A post-mature market

Right up there with Kaiser-Frazer parts:

I was searching Walmart for some writable DVDs for a family project, and I found they still sell blank tapes.

Five tapes for $15.

While you can get 10 DVDs for $10.

It’s the way the cycle goes. Thirty years ago, you could get one tape for $15, or $14.99 anyway. (I bought a case of ten once at a video store — remember video stores? — for $149.90.) Inevitably, the price sank to commodity levels ($1.99, maybe less) before gradually starting back up again.

Comments (4)

Strange search-engine queries (471)

As Web features go, this one is relatively simple: peruse the logs, pull out the search strings where available, and snicker at the best (or worst) ones. We’ve been doing this for weeks now.  You’d hardly need Google to find something like that.

earning over 583 million dollars worldwide. At the 85th Academy Awards: Actually, that string of digits wasn’t an income statement: it was part of the credits to Life of Pi.

invisible femmes:  Sorry, haven’t seen ’em.

histori Skand chuck fabrics ab sweden:  When I was a youngster, Swedes, especially in movies I wasn’t allowed to see, were chucking fabric left and right.

vidéos seniors daddies gay:  I guess they were a bit straighter in their younger days.

youtube “bad a base no trouble”  And I thought I had trouble with misheard lyrics.

overdrive light off comes on on 1995 ford probe:  Not to worry. Before long, you’ll be surrounded by lights, probably at Mac’s Garage.

is a 2000 mazda 626 fwd:  Yes, unless the overdrive off light comes on, in which case it will become 0wd.

hindi youngastar mp3:  Said star apparently doesn’t have enough clout yet to call for an end to questionable downloading.

phil spector back to mono:  Is that before or after “back to jail”?

petticoat rule:  That’s probably Uncle Joe, especially if he’s moving kinda slow at the junction.

VW passat firing order 2.0turbo:  Where I come from, you show up with a 2.0 Passat, the order will come down for you to be fired.

Witness the funk (WTF) flank zone:  Doesn’t sound like a place I’d want to park my flank.

hard sex_which makes a woman cry_video:  No, woman, no cry. No video at all. Nobody see.

Comments (1)

Version 19.8.4

An excerpt from the Samsung Smart TV privacy policy:

Excerpt from Samsung Smart TV instructions

An excerpt from a popular novel:

Excerpt from George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four

There’s a lot to be said for “dumb” hardware.

(Compiled by Parker Higgins.)

Comments (2)

Too old to rock and roll

If ever I had a reason to reject that particular description — and I’m pretty sure I did — it’s stronger, not to mention louder, now.


War of attrition

This game opened with four players out: Blake Griffin and J. J. Barea for the Clippers, Kendrick Perkins and Anthony Morrow for the Thunder. (Perk, as always the One in One Of These Things Is Not Like The Other, wasn’t injured: he drew a one-game suspension for a head-butting incident involving a New Orleans butthead.) And after the game opened, Glen “Big Baby Davis” departed with back spasms, and Steven Adams dislocated a finger or something. (Adams, who was fouled on the play, came back out of the locker room to hit one of two free throws, just in case he might be able to return. He did not.)

With limited personnel, the strategy becomes simple: hit your shots and keep the other guys from hitting theirs. The third quarter today could serve as an object lesson, the Thunder walloping the Clippers 35-19 for a 101-75 advantage going into the fourth. Three minutes later, Doc Rivers had seen enough, and he started subbing in what subs he had; OKC ran that lead to as much as 32, and finished off the Clips with aplomb, 131-108.

Spencer Hawes, starting at the four in the absence of Griffin, knocked out 17 points in the first half. That’s all he would get. Chris Paul came up with a double-double: 18 points, 13 assists, and perhaps most remarkably, three fouls. (CP3 inevitably took issue with all of them.) Matt Barnes tossed up 15 points; super sixth man Jamal Crawford came up with 21, and little-used C. J. Wilcox grabbed ten in Extended Garbage Time.

For Oklahoma City, the usual guys got their usual numbers: Kevin Durant 29, Russell Westbrook 19 (with 11 assists), Serge Ibaka 13. What was fun was watching Reggie Jackson go 6-6 for 15 points; what was even more fun was watching Mitch McGary, who’d scored four whole points all season, getting the call early and collecting a double-double. Seriously. 19 points on 8-9 shooting, 10 rebounds. (Both McGary and Jackson were +19; Dion Waiters, with 16 points, was +21.) Change of pace: the Thunder reserves, who scored a feeble 11 against New Orleans night before last, this time put up 62. And the Clippers seemed to be suffering from Board Avoidance Syndrome, outrebounded by OKC 54-29.

A quick trip to Denver for a Monday-night scuffle, a visit from the Grizzlies on Wednesday, and it’s the All-Star break. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I definitely need a break.


Fark blurb of the week


Welcome to karma

It was all I could do to keep from spewing BWAHAHAHAHAHAH! all over the answer box:

Yahoo Answers screenshot: Downloaded the golf club off of and it was a codex if thats any help but when i open the game it opens the steam store?

Thieves complaining about the merchandise they stole. Sheesh.



Woll’s between us

Deborah Ann Woll, thirty today, is best known for her role as Jessica Hamby in HBO’s series True Blood, and this is how she started:

In her human life, Jessica was raised in a strict, devout Christian family in Shreveport, Louisiana. Jessica and her younger sister Eden were homeschooled and only allowed to go to Bible study and clarinet lessons. Her father would often beat Jessica with his belt to punish her for her faults. Jessica’s mother was oblivious to this abuse — in a later episode, Jessica attributed this to her mother’s “stupidness”. Jessica resented the restrictions of her life dearly and secretly developed a rebellious attitude to her father’s dominance. Shortly before her appearance in True Blood, she chooses to sneak out after her bible study to attend a friend’s party. In events off-screen, she was subsequently captured by vampires and brought to the scene of a vampire trial, where the Magister, the enforcer of vampire justice, intended to use her as part of a sentence for a vampire on trial.

Of course, that “human” life was superseded by her existence as a vampire in her own right:

Deborah Ann Woll on HBO

Outside of True Blood, Deborah Ann seems pretty normal:

Deborah Ann Woll as a civilian

In the unlikely event that she tries to put the bite on you, tell her that you’re just totally full of gluten.

Next up: as Karen Page, secretary to Daredevil, The Man Without Fear.


It goes with your milk-white complexion

Mascara made from Oreo cookies:

She has also made eyeliner from M&Ms.

(Via Finestkind Clinic and fish market.)

Comments (1)

Right-lane loafer

A sniveling letter to the editor of the Oklahoman:

Oklahoma City drivers need a refresher on what “yield” means. Every day, I experience drivers entering Interstate 44 and failing to yield to oncoming traffic. These drivers approach traffic almost at highway speeds while on the on-ramp and force themselves into highway traffic, causing drivers to brake suddenly or even stop, just to let a noncompliant driver in. One of the worst on-ramps is I-44 southbound at NW 10.

Inasmuch as an inordinate number of on-ramps in this town provide no way to see what’s approaching in the slow lane, the solution to this is simple: approach traffic at higher than highway speeds. (For those who might be wondering: this is what the top half of the tach is for.) If I’m going faster than you, obviously I’m not in your way, unless you’re that one cretin in a thousand who takes offense and tailgates for the next five miles, in which case dying in a fire might be the kindest fate I wish for you.

Comments (1)

Please have a seat

Just don’t think about what you’re doing when you do:

Prototype Hello Kitty toilet seat

About all I can do here is repeat the Atlantic blurb:

An employee for Japanese character goods maker Sanrio displays a prototype model of a Hello Kitty branded toilet seat at Sanrio’s headquarters in Tokyo on February 2, 2015. The device has seat heating and warm water shower functions.

The sort of thing one purchases at the Home Depot — basically, an oval of compressed factory sweepings with a semi-regular hole in the middle — probably wouldn’t even be recognized in Japan.


Shacking down

Radio Shack, so-called because they’re usually not in shacks and they seldom if ever sell radios, has filed for Chapter 11; about half the stores — 1800 or so — will be closed in three waves, including, so far as I can tell, eleven in Oklahoma.

First group:

  • Broken Arrow, 1348 E. Hillside Dr.
  • Tulsa, 7454 S. Olympia Ave.
  • Tulsa, 10035 S. Memorial Dr.

Second group:

  • Oklahoma City, 5928 SW 3rd St.
  • Oklahoma City, 11725 S. Western Ave.
  • Owasso, 12305 E. 96th St. N.
  • Tulsa, 8518 E. 71st St.

Third group:

  • Altus, 1307 N. Main St.
  • Oklahoma City, 1841 Belle Isle Blvd.
  • Ponca City, 3000 N. 14th St.
  • Sapulpa, 126 E. Taft Ave.

And you probably should find another place to get your obscure batteries, since the remaining stores may end up going to Sprint.

Comments (4)

Slurped into the maw

The Pelicans got the last nine points of the third quarter, and the first five of the fourth, leaving the Thunder in a seven-point hole after having once led by a dozen. With 3:00 left, New Orleans was up 103-100, and Serge Ibaka was on the bench with six fouls. (Seven, if you count the technical, which you don’t.) This was not the best time for Kevin Durant, apparently healed of his toe sprain, to have trouble shooting. With 18 seconds left, it was NO 111, OKC 110; Tyreke Evans somehow missed two free throws, but the Thunder came up dry on the next possession, and Anthony Davis knocked down a pair to give the Birds a three-point lead with two seconds to go; incredibly, Russell Westbrook’s trey didn’t go, but he was fouled, and Russ scored all three free throws to tie it at 113 with 1.2 seconds left. Even more incredibly, Anthony Davis got in a trey just barely at the horn. New Orleans 116, Oklahoma City 113, and the Pelicans win the season series 3-1.

Between Davis, who got his 41st point of the night with that buzzer-beater, and Evans, who had a triple-double (22 points, 16 assists, 10 rebounds), it’s perhaps a surprise the Birds were held to a mere 116; they made 11 of 20 treys all night, shot 48 percent overall, got 25 of 30 free throws to fall, and held 26-19 advantages in assists and 46-40 off the glass. This is the number I’m looking at, though: the New Orleans bench, mostly Quincy Pondexter and Ryan Anderson, collected 36 points, while the Thunder reserves managed only 11.

Among the OKC starters, Westbrook was clearly on: those last three free throws gave him 48 points for the night, a new career high. (Not to mention an average of 46.5 for the last two games.) Durant, clearly off, still came up with 27 points, albeit on 9-26 shooting; Ibaka and Steven Adams (also the recipient of a T) had 10 each.

The Clippers, who have obligingly dropped three in a row, will be here Sunday at noon. Maybe I’ll wake up for it.


And lo, down was gotten

You already know the story:

The bell tolls seven times and I arise;
my fast is broken with a bowl of gruel.

And twelve lines more, as Pop Sonnets takes on Rebecca Black’s “Friday.”

Comments (1)