Carroll Shelby, in his last year of Formula One competition, drove a race-prepped version of Aston Martin’s DB4 for erstwhile AM owner David Brown. Astons at the time ran highly-tuned DOHC inline sixes, which apparently did not impress Shelby in the least.

When Shelby decided to get into construction in 1961, he wrote to AC Cars in Britain and asked them if they could modify their existing Ace roadster to accommodate a proper American-style V8. AC, which had been using Bristol’s six, a prewar BMW design, was in the process of switching to an English Ford six, and they told Shelby they could. Shelby then hit up Chevrolet, who turned him down flat. Ford, however, would talk to him, and they offered an updated version of their Windsor V8, bored out to 260 cubic inches. Shelby ordered up a chassis, and the transatlantic assembly line was created: AC would do the bodywork, then ship the carcass to Shelby’s West Coast facility, where the powertrain would be installed.

Seventy-five of these cars, christened “Cobra,” were built, priced at $5995; Shelby then switched to the new Windsor 289. The Cobra proved to be a sturdy and successful racer, so naturally it had to be improved upon; the chassis was stretched and strengthened, and Shelby, now enthusiastically supported by Ford, received a supply of the FE V8, a monster with 427 cubes.

Lee Iacocca, who had enlisted Shelby’s assistance in producing a line of high-performance Mustangs, eventually landed at Chrysler, and he persuaded Shelby to follow him. By then, pretty much everything Mopar was either already or about to be front-wheel drive, but no matter. The Shelby-modified Dodge Omni GLH (“Goes Like Hell”) offered 146 ponies to drag around a mere 2300 pounds, at a time when comparably-sized cars had maybe 90 or 100 at most. (A GLHS followed, with 175.)

Jack Baruth gave Shelby, who died Thursday, the following sendoff:

Although his final years were beset by scandal and an increasingly Byzantine series of lawsuits against everyone from “cloners” to his own fan club, the man’s contributions to the art, science, and passion of hauling ass in affordable cars are undeniable.

Even if some of them aren’t quite so affordable anymore.

The Truth About Cars shows us the nifty Ford B-Max people-mover:

Note the absence of a B-pillar, which should make loading up the little buslet a lot less problematic.

Except for the little matter that we won’t be getting it. Says TTAC’s Derek Kreindler:

Only world markets will get the B-MAX, but this technology should filter down to other vehicles in the future.

Obviously we’re not part of the world.

I’m assuming that the meaning of “world” here corresponds to the meaning of “world” in the term “world music,” which is defined (very) roughly as any music that originates somewhere off this continent and that you will never hear on North American radio, with the possible exception of a 10-watt FM station within biking distance of a college town.

If you own a share of Ford Motor Company stock, anyway:

Ford shareholders will receive a dividend of 5 cents a share next March 1, the first dividend the automaker has made in more than five years, the company said [Thursday].

It is the first dividend paid by any Detroit automaker on common stock since July 2008 when General Motors suspended its 25 cents dividend. The new GM did resume paying a 64.7-cents a share dividend last March on its Series B convertible preferred shares.

With about 4 billion shares outstanding, the dividend will cost Ford about $200 million per quarter.

Both S&P and Moody’s recently raised Ford’s credit rating: it’s still below “investment-grade,” but only a little. And Ford’s massive $26 billion mountain of debt at the end of 2008 has shrunk by half.

(Via Autoblog.)

Robert Stacy McCain, having made it to the thriving semi-metropolis of Spartanburg, South Carolina, noted in passing that he’s in an “econo-rental (a black Ford Probe, $86 for the weekend)”.

I must inform you that he didn’t go down there to take advantage of BMW Performance Center Delivery on a brand-spanking-new Bimmer. More’s the pity.

What’s remarkable here, I think, is that someone is still renting Ford Probes, which haven’t been made since 1997. They weren’t wretchedly built or anything — I had a ’93 Mazda 626, which was built off the same platform at the same UAW plant in Michigan — but no one thought of these cars as being exactly heirlooms, if you know what I mean; at the very least, I have to figure that by now the paint has oxidized and the valve-cover gasket has sprung at least one leak.

Ford has been booed loudly from several corners for its clunky MyFord Touch in-car software. When the announcement came down that there was going to be a major upgrade to the package, my first thought was “Well, that ought to clog up the dealer service departments for months.”

Maybe, or maybe not:

If you’re one of the 300,000 or so customers out there with MyFord Touch, you’re already on the list to receive a USB flash drive containing the update. You’ll be able to do it yourself or take it to any dealership.

Is it possible to brick an entire car? We’re about to find out.

Car and Driver’s experience with MyFord Touch in their Explorer test vehicle (September ’11):

The system is often slow to respond or recognize inputs. Late in our evaluation, the touch screen froze. Disconnecting and reconnecting the car’s battery rebooted the system, at which point the screen displayed a Microsoft logo and the words, “Performing Scheduled Maintenance.”

Next question: Do you have to visit the dealer to obtain Service Pack 1, or is it going to download while you’re stuck on the freeway?

I’m not sure how I should feel about this:

Ford will bold and thicken characters on many interior controls across its lineup beginning with the Ford Edge and Ford Explorer next year, making it easier for people of all ages, particularly aging Baby Boomers, to read display fonts.

The letters and numbers that form words and convey other information on the center stack display on the next-generation vehicles will be slightly thicker, with an approximately 40 percent wider stroke width.

First thought: “They think of this after they kill off the Lincoln Town Car?”

Here’s what I’m up against in an eleven-year-old car: utterly lovely backlit gauges, adjustable with the usual rheostat when the lights are on. High noon, you can still see the dials, but the odometer (little green rectangle, six LCD digits on each row) washes out at almost any angle. Nissan fixed this in later models by going to an orange background, though the G25 I buzzed around town earlier this week had cyan-on-black, and I couldn’t tell you if that was the standard or if it was changeable in the six or seven dozen menu items on the stack screen. (In a borrowed car, I set the A/C temperature, the radio, and things related to the seat position; everything else I leave alone.)

Incidentally, in the initial production run for the second-generation I30, there was a separate rheostat for adjusting the backlighting during the daytime; it was stripped out before they got around to building my car. (On the other hand, about the same time, they added side air bags.)

As to whether Ford was unusually deficient in matters of this sort, I couldn’t tell you; I haven’t driven a Ford lately.

(Swiped from American Digest.)

With Ford’s Crown Victoria, long the police car of choice, fading away, law enforcement is faced with some difficult choices. The Oklahoma County Sheriff has gone in a direction I might not have anticipated, though.

At their 2011 Palm Beach auction in April, Barrett-Jackson sold a 1974 Ford Bronco for $33,000.

Dave Kinney noted in the July Automobile:

Early Broncos have become very collectible. Their straightforward looks and easy usability combine to make them cool across generations.

“Now you tell me,” snorts McGehee.

Lots of things are built into automotive seats these days, some of them wondrous (say, a heater on a subzero day), some of them less so (Gwendolyn’s adjustable lumbar support feels rather like a two-by-four against my back). I have to admit, I wasn’t quite expecting built-in EKG:

A heart attack behind the wheel can render much of your car’s safety equipment moot despite decades of advancement. Ford Motor Company has tasked its European Research Center in Aachen, Germany with finding a way to reduce accidents caused by drivers experiencing heart trouble. According to the automaker, their prototype seat with contactless electrocardiogram technology can warn drivers to seek medical attention immediately by scanning for potential cardiovascular trouble through clothing.

The next step, I think, should be something in the headrest that scans for strokes: Tuesday afternoon’s Beat the Tornado commute seemed to render a lot of people borderline apoplectic.

Ford’s new SVT Raptor Supercrew is twelve inches longer than its immediate predecessor, leading Motor Trend’s Frank Markus, previously seen lapsing into political cliché, down the primrose path to Unfortunate Comparisons:

Our cold-weather shakedown of the newly stretched Raptor suggests that among the target audience of outdoorsy extreme sportsmen, this more capable Raptor’s extra foot may prove as enticing as the bonus body part involved in diphallia.

Stacy Brown was not available for comment.

Ford might need it for a floor mat:

“We’re always looking for new sustainable materials to use in our vehicles that have a smaller carbon footprint to produce and can be grown locally,” said Angela Harris, Ford research engineer. “Synthetic rubber is not a sustainable resource, so we want to minimise its use in our vehicles when possible. Dandelions have the potential to serve as a great natural alternative to synthetic rubber in our products.”

Not just any dandelions, though:

The suitable species for this project is the Russian dandelion, Taraxacum kok-saghyz, which is being grown at The Ohio State University’s Ohio Agricultural Research and Development Center (OARDC). A milky-white substance that seeps from the roots of this species of dandelion is used to produce the rubber.

Of course, the real advantage of using a dandelion for synthetic rubber is that it’s not particularly hard to cultivate. I put absolutely no effort into the ones I grow (albeit the wrong variety, alas).

(Via Autoblog.)

Ford calls it the Third Age Suit, and it reflects the unfortunate (to me, anyway) reality that not all of its customers are young and/or lithe:

Restrictive apparel simulates the physical limitations associated with arthritic joints, failing eyesight and poor hearing. Since its inception, the suit has been instrumental in the design of cars with backup cameras and a more elderly-friendly “H-point,” known to us non-engineers as the point where your hips swivel when getting into a car.

The suit works by restricting the flexibility of the upper body with a corset-like harness that hinders range of motion. Similar harnesses make moving the elbows, knees and feet a chore, and the suit also simulates decreased dexterity and sense of touch with latex-lined fingerless gloves.

I have yet to figure out how this suit manages to disable the cancel switch on the turn signals, but then I’m not any kind of engineer.

“Dammit,” says Ford to its remaining Lincoln dealers, “this is a luxury brand, and it’s time we acted like it.” To wit:

According to Automotive News [behind paywall], Ford has issued an ultimatum to its Lincoln dealers: either they agree to meet minimum brand requirements by September 1, or they face losing their franchise. Ford’s demands include that dealers

• Offer perks such as a free car wash and a Lincoln loaner vehicle to Lincoln service customers
• Have a dedicated service manager and dedicated sales staff for Lincoln, if the dealership is paired with a Ford store
• Have only the word “Lincoln,” without “Mercury,” appear on all franchise signage
• Have at least 30% of used-Lincoln inventory be certified pre-owned

Geez. The local Infiniti store manages three out of four, and they’re paired with Porsche-Audi fercrissake. And Lincoln does about the same annual volume as Infiniti: 100k or thereabouts.

This particular objection, which I find risible, was raised:

[W]hat if a customer wants a full-sized loaner replacement for a vehicle that’s been turned in for service, but the dealer only has MKZs on the lot?

It is bad form, I think, to complain about freebies. The cheapest thing on the Infiniti lot, until recently, was the G35 sedan, and that’s mostly what they lent out; once they sent me off in an FX, probably because that was all they had left. It’s not like they were stashing Nissan Versas on the premises.

(Title swiped from the late Waylon Jennings.)

When you have only so much space to make a point, clarity sometimes falls by the wayside. An example, from the Consumer Reports Auto Issue (April 2011):

The new unibody [Ford] Explorer shares a platform with the Flex, but it’s taller and is shorter.

Evidently “not quite as long” wouldn’t have fit.

Addendum: You don’t like giant pygmies? How about fast zombies?

A couple of years ago, you may have read about this Ford feature:

Ford Motor will roll out a feature on many 2010 models that can limit teen drivers to 80 mph, using a computer chip in the key.

Parents also have the option of programming the teen’s key to limit the audio system’s volume, and to sound continuous alerts if the driver doesn’t wear a seat belt.

Technology marches on, and now Ford’s MyKey system has a few more features of this sort:

[P]arents can now block their children from listening to certain radio stations — say, for instance, Howard Stern or Playboy Radio on satellite. In fact, there are a dozen stations listed as explicit by Sirius, and all of them can be blocked using MyKey starting in 2011.

Also seeing an upgrade for 2011 is MyKey’s speed-limiting technology. Previously, the top speed of a properly equipped Ford vehicle could be capped at 80 miles per hour (with chimes sounding at 45, 55 and 65). Now, users can preset a desired speed limit at any of four different settings — 65, 70, 75 or 80 mph.

In other news, there’s a Playboy Radio on satellite. (Question: Do you have to turn the car 90 degrees to hear the centerfold?)

Alas, the feature most desired by parents — the ability to deny entry to their teens’ dubious acquaintances — is probably still a long way off.

Most people, I suspect, will just snicker at you if you suggest that we’re living in some sort of automotive Golden Age: when the gas costs three bucks and the government keeps coming up with ideas that aren’t worth a plugged nickel, things don’t seem so promising.

In an effort to provide you with some measure of reassurance, I point you to the January “10Best” issue of Car and Driver, which as always includes a list of the ten Best and Worst Performers of the previous year. The Best numbers are always impressive, but the eye-opening stuff is in the Worst column.

An example: Worst Zero-to-Sixty. Ford’s little Transit Connect bread truck, imported from Turkey (!), takes a whole 11.1 seconds. It is a measure of how much our expectations have changed that 11.1 seconds is now considered slow: V-6 family sedans routinely break the seven-second mark, and even the four-cylinder cars manage nine or better. The new electromobiles — Chevrolet Volt, Nissan Leaf — keep the acceleration at bay to preserve battery range, but even they can knock off easy 10s. The Transit Connect does the quarter-mile in 18.3 seconds at a trap speed of 75 mph, which also rates as Worst.

Then again, here I am with, according to its manufacturer, the “most powerful” car in its class, ten years ago. Says C/D, it runs 0-60 in 8.3, and does a 16.4 quarter at 87 mph. Not a whole lot slower than Ford’s vanlet, really. (And about the same fuel economy: low 20s around town.)

Incidentally, we get the Transit Connect here by way of a loophole in one of those brilliant government ideas: the 1963 “chicken tax,” which set stiff tariffs on a variety of imports, including trucks, as a response to European duties imposed on American poultry. The rest of those tariffs have fallen by the wayside, but the truck tax (25 percent) remains. Ford gets around this by importing the passenger version of the Transit Connect, and then throwing away everything inside back of the B-pillar. Remember this next time someone tells you that the government has thought out some new scheme very carefully and there’s no possible way anything can go wrong.

Having fulfilled my pledge to the Boobie-Thon, I was definitely in the mood for something like this:

All good conservatives know that unlike GM and Chrysler, Ford declined the government tit. They were also the only one of the Big Three that made significant profit, even though they declined the money Obama was handing out.

Which is not to say they are anti-tit. In fact, Ford Motor Company is very much pro-tit.

Evidence of same.

(Tweeted by Robert Stacy McCain.)

Ford is giving up on the Panther platform: the Mercury Grand Marquis was gone even before the rest of the Sign of the Cat was torn down, and the blue-oval guys supposedly won’t sell you a Crown Victoria at retail. That leaves the mausoleum, otherwise known as your local Lincoln-Mercury dealer, for your best shot at owning the last of the Zombie Sedans.

Which is kind of a shame, really, because, well, can your car do this?

Fly up behind granny in her Town Car, or better yet, behind a bunch of rednecks in an F-150 sitting in the left lane while you’re driving a red Corvette, silver BMW, or lime green Audi. Jam on the brakes as you close on them and then flash your brights. “Chuck you, Farley.” They ain’t moving. Granny puts on her hazard lights and drops her speed another 10 mph. The rednecks brake check you. “Suck it, yuppie scum. I pay my taxes. This lane is mine, beatch!”

But get yourself a three year-old Crown Vic, preferably one of the horrific olive green ones that only a government agency would buy… Then you set the cruise control and just approach slower moving traffic with authority. Not super aggressively, just fast enough to let them see that you’re coming and mean business. Traffic parts for you like the Red Sea.

Alternate colors: silver, tan, or white. Or black:

Crested a hill and see a State Trooper parked in the median? Just throw up your hand to him as you continue on your way without slowing down.

For some reason, this will not work with Ford’s other rear-drive car.

The Car and Driver New Car Issue (September — seems to me like it used to come out in October) has this factoid about the 2011 Chevrolet Camaro:

The V-6 engine gets a claimed boost in horsepower from 304 to 312, made possible by a final SAE certification and an ongoing urea-based rivalry with the Mustang.

Wonder which whiz kid on the staff came up with that one?